Original subtitles

I'm Alcman.

I was just an average kid until an accident changed my life.

And since then, nothing's been the same.

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else know.

Not even my parents.

I know the chemical plant wants to find me and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

Okay.

You can make two dozen chocolate and two dozen sprinkles. No problem.

I'll refill the creamer, too. I noticed it was getting a little low.

Thanks, sweetheart.

I'll be right back.

Oh, don't worry, Gloria.

Take your time.

All right. If you have any trouble, though, you just call Chester.

Okay.

Hey, I'm... Hey, you guys.

Have we got some news for you.

I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.

Um, Gloria just ran over to Mr. Chow's for some dinner and she left me in

of the place.

Oh, that's cool, Al. Um, I told him we could wait.

I'm sorry, but I need your help, both of you. We've only got a couple of days.

Guys, just act normal, please.

Hey, Chester, what can I get you? I just made some with sprinkles.

Are these kids bothering you? Oh, no, son. We were just browsing. Thanks for

that advice, Alex.

When we think donuts, we think Wayne's Wigwam in the Paradise Ballet Mall,

serving coffee, donuts, and smiles since 1988.

Talk to you later.

So, Gloria's letting you thump for her?

Yeah, she just went to Mr. Chalice for some dinner. She'll be back in a few

minutes.

This might turn into a nice summer job for you. I hope.

If you know your donuts.

You think you can stop me?

Bring it on.

This donut took the 1937 Parisian International Exhibition by storm, where

was given the nickname Le Grand Cochon.

What is the glazed twist?

Correct.

And that's a question.

Compare and contrast the importance of the buttermilk bar versus the bear clock

in post -World War II American snacking habits.

Well, usually in the eastern states, it's considered to... Thanks for

the place, Alex.

I can use you again tomorrow while Wayne's still on vacation.

I'll pay you.

Really? Sure.

Why don't you be here at 4 o 'clock sharp?

Oh, that's great, Gloria. I'll be here.

Oh, and, um, Chester owes you 60 cents.

Bye.

We've definitely got to have a party of some kind, all right? It's got to be

big, really, really big.

Oh, what's so important?

Ready, Mac?

Spivey is coming to visit.

Spivey?

Yeah, his best friend from Cincinnati.

Oh. You see, Lewis Spivey was my best friend from second to seventh grade

I moved out here. We became best friends because we're both named Lewis, but you

guys can just call him Spivey.

Anyway, I haven't seen him in two years and he's driving out to visit with his

family. You guys are just going to love him. And I want to pull out all the

stops. I want to show him how we do things here in Paradise Valley.

This is going to be great. Really, really great.

All right. First of all, I want you guys to call me Big Jake.

This is a PVC -12 simulated voice activation system. Here, go ahead. Say

something.

Hello? Texting. One, two, three, four.

It was initially devised as a security system so that elderly people could

answer their phone or their front door. Try it again.

Hello?

Hello? Who's there?

Hello?

Why didn't they catch on? It seems like something like this could be so useful.

Well, there are any number of reasons.

But one of the things you're going to learn about the world of science is that

it can be a cold and ruthless business.

And the people involved don't always have the best intentions.

Oh, goodness, don't I?

But Lewis, do I need to point out to you that you didn't let her in anything?

Yeah, but I could have.

What do you mean?

Golf. I would have made the team except we don't have one. I didn't know you

golf. All right, check it.

Whatever, Lewis.

Look, I know you want to look your best when you see your buddy again, right?

But first you want me to call you Big Jake.

I need a nickname.

But no one calls you Big Jake, Lewis.

And now the letterman jacket.

It just doesn't seem right.

Ray, I see what you're saying. But let me tell you, once you meet the spyster,

it'll all make sense.

He's on the golf team back in Cincinnati, and he's the funniest guy on

planet.

If you say so.

Excuse me.

Gents.

Vince Carter, former plant security chief, currently the owner and operator

an independent security firm called Off the Record.

Because everything I do is off the record.

You're a hard man to forget, Vince.

Yeah. Well, after I was let go, I never really felt that we were able to

compare notes on GC -161.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but I was quite instrumental in the

investigation and cover -up of the GC -161 accident that happened a few years

ago. And if you gentlemen are interested, I would be more than glad to

or all information with you.

in hopes of furthering this valuable project.

Thanks for your time, Jackie.

That was Jim.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, Lars, if you're not doing anything tomorrow, maybe we could grab an iced

tea. I think we need to talk.

Okay, 42 cents is your change. Thank you, and come again.

You guys all know what it means to me to get out of this place for a while.

Well, I'm glad this is working out. I love donuts.

I like to serve them and I like to eat them. Oh, me too.

Me too.

Okay, well, I'll be back in 20.

Okay.

Don't worry, kid. I won't be far.

I'm here to protect and serve.

Uh, Jester, the toilet near the huge ballast is clogged. Uh, can you get over

there right away?

I, uh, also do light janitorial.

Don't worry. I got it covered.

It's hard to say what Vince knows and what he doesn't know.

You've probably heard rumors of the GC -161 spill and how it contaminated some

kid. Well, yes, I did, actually. But I was told it was just a rumor.

Of course it is. A kid that would be contaminated with that concentration of

chemical would be in serious danger.

I mean, don't you think?

You're probably right.

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

Vince may or may not know anything more about GC -161 than we do. But to be

honest with you, he's a bit of a crackpot. You know, a screw loose. Yeah.

And I just thought it was my duty to warn you.

His card is of no use to us.

I think I'll hang on to this a while longer.

You know, there's just something about him I don't trust.

Hi,

can I help you?

Hi.

Not really sure what kind of donut I'm in the mood for. What do you suggest?

Well, what do you like?

Mmm, my tastes run the entire gamut of the donut world.

How about giving me a little taste test, you know, to help me make up my mind?

I can't really do that. I mean, if you take a bite and don't like it... Aren't

you a little young to be working at the counter?

Let me see your working papers, Miffy.

I just fill in while the owner's on her dinner break.

Now, what can I get you?

Hey! All right, relax, sweetheart.

I'm just toying with you. I'm going to pay for it. Look, why are you messing

with me?

I'm just trying to do my job. That'll be 60 cents.

Well, see, I only had one bite. How about I give you a dime?

60 cents!

Well, all I got on me is 30, but my friends will be back soon, and they'll

care of you. I need you to pay me now.

I don't like your chances.

Let me by.

Temper, temper.

Hey, where'd you go?

Hey, come on. Don't be like that.

I was just playing around.

I need to go and leave. I was just kidding.

Come on.

Please?

Took one of my donuts and said he'd pay when his friends came by.

Not on my watch, he won't.

Thanks,

Chester. It's all right, honey.

What's your name, tough guy?

Spivey. Louis Spivey.

I'm sure he was just kidding around, Alex. I mean, I told you he was a joker.

That's his style.

This is totally embarrassing.

We're getting off to a very bad start here.

Look, Lewis, I had to. This job is very important to me. And I didn't need any

trouble. Yeah.

Come on, man. Let's go try and find him.

I gotta check this guy out.

We'll hook up later, okay?

I'm back.

How'd it go?

Um, just great. Good.

Tomorrow I have a bunch of errands to run and I can use you for a few hours.

Can you handle it?

Uh -huh.

Hey, Ray, it's nice to finally meet you, good guy.

Hey, it's a pretty nice town you got here. It's almost like paradise.

It's good to see you again. You know, I kind of miss Cincinnati, but I'm doing

all right here.

Hey, how's Rochelle Friedman looking these days?

Great. I'm glad you asked, my friend, because I am going out with her. Get out

of here. She was like the third most popular girl in school.

She was even editor of the paper. Actually, I worked with her on the

kind of got close.

You know how it is.

So, you guys got any good -looking girls at your school?

Are you kidding? That's what the school's known for. They conducted one

statewide polls, and our school won.

Isn't that right, Ray?

Uh, yeah.

As a matter of fact, we're having a little party tomorrow. Just the usual

You'll get to meet some of them.

Really? What usual gang?

Oh, oh yeah, the usual gang. Thought you said something else.

Beautiful guy. I can't wait.

Let's go.

Hello,

is this the right number for off -the -record security?

Who wants to know?

Lawrence Fredrickson from the PV chemical plant. I hope I'm not

anything. Ah, no.

We met yesterday, Vince. You gave me a card.

I just wanted to say that some of the things you said I find very interesting.

I mean, I don't see why we can't compare notes.

That is my thought exactly.

I should tell you, Vince, that I've heard some unflattering things about

Really? From who?

That doesn't matter, but I'm a respected scientist, and I can't be embarrassed

by any actions that would be seen as less than professional.

Oh, we'll handle this in a professional and discreet manner.

I think we should meet tomorrow after work in the park, so as not to attract

undue attention.

That'll be fine.

I know it's kind of last minute, Donna, but it should be really fun.

I'll pay.

I'll pay. All the donuts you can eat.

Yeah, and Louis Driscoll's picking up the tab.

Driscoll.

He's that red -haired kid that's in front of me in biology?

Okay, great. I'll see you then.

Oh, yeah, don't forget to tell Greg Hamstring, too.

Okay, bye.

Yeah.

Louis, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, buying donuts for kids you

barely even know?

It seems like a long way to go just to impress some guy.

A guy that I thought was a total jerk.

Look, I know what you're thinking, but you don't understand how it used to be.

I've never really mentioned this before, and it'll probably come as a surprise

to you, but Spivey and I were kind of losers.

You?

A loser?

That's hard to believe.

But that's probably why we became friends.

The point is, I'm a lot happier now, but it still kind of bugs me that he went

on to bigger and better things.

Roussel Friedman, school paper.

What do I have?

You have a letter from a school golf team that doesn't exist.

I just want to be somebody too.

Is that too much to ask?

Off the record.

Vince, this is Lars again.

I was thinking, I'm a little nervous about later.

Our liaison in the park.

I think we should wear some sort of disguise.

I see.

Good point. For security reasons.

What would you suggest?

Well, disguise isn't one of my specialties.

Really?

Make it good.

It'll be good, pal.

Well, I have to admit it, Lewis. You really got it made.

Yep. These are my people.

Driscoll people.

We just love them all, hanging out.

And I don't mind picking up the check to show my people a good time.

Okay, here you go.

So that was two glazed, two honey dips, and two milks. Coming right up.

Lewis, would you turn that thing off?

How's it going, App? How does it look like it's going?

This is ridiculous.

I'm swamped, and Lewis' bill is over $80.

Well, doesn't look like he's going to end any time soon.

Can you hurry up?

What's a guy got to do to get a little service here?

It's not your turn, Spivey.

Wait a second.

Don't you see me standing?

It's a lovely day that we're having.

Excuse me?

I said it's such a lovely day that we're having.

Since? Correct.

Why aren't you in disguise?

Disguise? Are you insane?

Don't touch that.

We can't trust anyone.

George Mack warned me about you.

I shouldn't have listened to him.

I should have been summoned.

I should have been summoned.

Alex, what on earth happened here?

Well, the good news is we had an all -time run of soda and donuts.

The bad news is we made a little mess.

You cleaned out our inventory and the register's empty?

I was just about to go collect.

$86 .20.

You didn't ring it up.

I rang it up, but I let Louis run a tab. He said he'd pick up the check.

Louis, that red -haired numbskull who doesn't pay for milk but drinks from my

creamer?

Alex. You have five minutes to get me that money.

Yeah, I wanted to go to an Ivy League school like Harvard, but my dad says all

Ivy League graduates are blockheads. So I sent a letter to Princeton, and I got

an early acceptance. All right.

First of all, Princeton is an Ivy League school, too.

Second of all, they don't accept freshmen in high school.

My sister Annie tried, and trust me, she's five times as smart as you are.

And you, the total is $86 .20, and I need it now.

But see, it's what you call a special circumstance.

Me and my parents are driving up to Maine to check out the campus.

Uh, was that $86?

Yes, it was.

And Princeton's not in Maine, Spivey. It's in New Jersey.

And I know for a fact that they don't take applications from ninth graders.

Lewis, your friend is calling me a liar.

I'm not a liar. Tell her. I'm not calling you a liar. I just want to get

from Lewis so I can get away from the both of you as soon as possible.

Man, this girl is all business.

Spivey, tell me the truth.

Did you or did you not get accepted to Princeton?

Come on, you don't believe me? Lewis is a spy man you're talking to.

Rochelle Friedman isn't your girlfriend either, is she?

Rochelle Friedman doesn't even know who I am.

Not much has changed, except a few more people don't like me, and my best buddy

isn't around anymore.

Well, don't feel bad.

Lewis has something he wants to tell you, too.

I do?

No, I don't.

He wants to tell you that all these people are not our friends. Yes, they go

our school, but he made me and Ray call all of them so we could show you what a

big wheelie was.

Spivey, I'm sorry.

I guess I fudged a lot of things, too.

I mean, I bought this letterman's jacket.

I'm sure it fits me great, but we don't even have a golf team here.

You bought it?

Hmm, I wonder if you paid more for yours than I did for mine.

All right, all right, the two of you can talk later, but right now I need that

money.

I only have 47 bucks, Alex.

I can help you out a little, Louis.

Guess I don't need that new backpack.

What up, Spivey?

I really don't know you that well since you spent the whole weekend lying about

yourself. But maybe underneath, you're a pretty cool guy.

Thanks.

Oh, well, I'll see you guys again, right?

Bye, Alex.

Later. Good luck at Princeton.

Lewis, even though it's been a couple years, you're pretty much the same old

guy. Except now you got some pretty cool friends.

Miss you, man.

Come visit me in Cincy? I will, Spive.

Take it easy.

Well,

I know you guys think I'm a bonehead. I should have been more mature.

I shouldn't have put my two best friends in the whole world through such a

stupid nightmare.

Yeah, that's pretty much it, wouldn't you say, Ray?

That's pretty much it.