Original subtitles

Are you ready to order?

Oh, wait a minute. Weren't you in earlier?

Yes, but I just had to come in and see you again.

You are so beautiful.

You have the most gorgeous eyes and the prettiest hair.

Sorry, I must be embarrassing you.

Right.

I'm Norm Murphy.

Go out with me.

What? Go out with me.

I'm sorry, no.

Really, I mean it. So do I.

But I've always wanted to date a beautiful girl just like you. Well,

But unlike me, you can't always get what you want.

That waitress is the greatest.

I'm guessing he just chugged in.

Dick. Joanna.

I was taking my morning walk when suddenly, across the clearing, There he

the great white buck.

George, what's the great white buck?

You don't know?

Dick, Joanna, let me tell you the legend of the great white buck.

George, isn't this something you should be telling us with a banjo?

One day, old farmer Skinner was walking by a meadow, and he came upon the

biggest, most magnificent, pure white buck ever to walk these parts, the great

white buck. White Buck.

That year, this town enjoyed the best year it ever had.

Really? I just don't believe that people think the Great White Buck is going to

bring good luck.

Well, Dick, it's a legend. It's not like somebody made it up.

George, we were at the Tree Tap Diner when we heard. Is it true?

I was taking my morning walk when suddenly I saw the Great White Buck.

Jim, this is George's good news. Let him tell it. I saw the great white buck.

Told you.

He was snorting big puffs of air out of his nostrils. And he had this look of

wisdom on his face.

And his antlers must have been big enough to hang 40 hats on.

This is starting to sound like something out of Dr. Seuss.

Dick doesn't believe in the legend.

There's a surprise.

Dick, the great white buck was seen here in 1950, as far back as 1885, and again

in 1929.

All great years.

1929? That was the start of the Depression.

Not for us. This town prospered. Yeah, if only that buck had trotted down Wall

Street.

And even though George just saw the great white buck, we're already being

showered with good fortune.

What are you talking about?

Well, I was at the tree tap this morning and I had the best jelly donut I ever

ate.

Explain that.

Greetings, gringos.

I think I've come up with a primo premise for the kind of hard -hitting 60

minutes type reporting you've been dying to do.

Really, that's terrific.

Imagine this in stereo, where available.

Dick Loudon, searching for the great white buck.

Michael, you don't really believe in this.

Dick, all I believe in is that this big buck can bring in big buck.

And just to make sure we get that deer on camera, I've arranged for boppo buck

bait. Wardrobe's fitting you for a salt lick flicker.

Michael, I am not doing any report on a silly legend about some dumb deer.

Oh, that's right, Tick. I forgot. You don't like to get involved with anything

popular.

Told you I wasn't going to date you, even if you do the dusting.

Steph, what's going on?

Mr. Murphy keeps asking me for a date. He won't leave me alone.

Well, I won't stand idly by while some poacher forages around my love nest.

Mr. Murphy, this is Michael Harris.

My fiancé.

And you really think you have a snowball chance?

Well, there's always competition for the best.

That does it. In another two minutes, I'm going to have to ask you outside.

Michael! Well, I don't want my muffin to hear the vocal pummeling I'm going to

give him.

It may get pretty frank.

Hey, I will have none of that at my inn.

All right, I give.

I'm a lover, not a talker.

Get him.

Thinking he can get on my good side by doing my work for me. That bozo.

So, Steph, where do you keep the Windex?

Boy, I didn't think I'd ever get out of Wagner's hardware store.

Everybody wanted to hear about the great white buck.

People were taking my pictures, shaking my hand.

Maggie Milford even lined her children up to rub my head.

I just wish they hadn't stopped at the bakery first.

Here you are, George.

Great news.

I finally got a job.

Yeah, they opened up one of these fancy new tanning salons over at the college.

At first I thought it was only going to be part -time, you know, sunny days.

But you're looking at a full -time man.

And all because my friend George spotted the great white buck in Utley Woods.

Did you hear that, Dick?

Utley Woods.

I never had trees named after me before.

Harley, I'm happy for you, but I don't believe in a good luck buck.

Oh, yeah?

Good luck is spreading like wildfire. This morning, that old oak tree on the

Swenson's place came crashing to the ground, wiped out the whole front porch.

That's lucky.

Everyone was in the back.

Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother, Daryl. And this is my other brother,

And we're here to announce that major construction has started on the fabulous

new starlight room at the Minuteman Cafe.

You guys are expanding?

Not exactly.

Daryl here just punched a hole in the roof over table eight.

We're preparing for the onslaught of prosperity brought about by the spotting

the great white buck.

Already today, six people came into the cafe.

Two even stayed to eat.

That is mythic.

Dick, don't be such a stick in the mud.

Honey, I'm sick of listening to people.

attribute everyday events to some cockamamie legend.

Hi. Are you the proprietor?

Yes. Well, I got a group that's ready to ski for two weeks, and I want every

room you can give me. Hey, this is your lucky day.

Shut up and sign in.

It's going to be a perfect night for a sleigh ride.

We have to talk.

Sit down.

Do you know where I've been for the past half hour?

Cleaning. In the basement.

Avoiding you has forced me to inhale must.

So stop it.

There.

You want me to stop now?

And I've never gotten this far before.

Come here a minute.

Look at me.

Now look at you.

Now look at us together.

See what I mean?

Please, I'm not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me. Just one

evening.

Okay, a dinner.

Five minutes, and I'll never bother you again.

You've got yourself a date.

Five minutes.

Terrific. Okay, I'll pick you up at eight.

Maybe we'll take in the opening credits of a movie.

Stephanie, is something wrong?

Oh, that Mr. Murphy just won't leave me alone.

Joanna, how do you get men to turn off you so easily?

It's a gift.

What happened? Are you all right?

I was driving back from the store, and I saw it.

It's a great white buck.

It's the most gigantic blur of antlers and hooves I've

seen.

I've ever seen Leap across the road.

Well, I guess you're really in for some good luck now.

I don't think so, Joanna. I just ran over the great white...

Joanna,

did you have to bring me a white drink?

I'm fine, George. Thanks.

You killed a great white buck and not even a scratch?

George, it came out of nowhere. The roads were icy.

There was nothing I could do. And you're really sure he was the great white

buck?

George, he was just as big and magnificent as you described him, except

with a little more surprise on his face.

It's one thing not to believe in our legend, Dick, but did you have to take

car to it?

Why'd you even bother with a sedan? Why didn't you just use a howitzer?

Okay, where's the Bambi battery?

I've just come from the scene.

Would have been here sooner, but it was kind of hard to get all those antlers in

the chalk outline.

Oh, here's something you never heard before.

I just lost my new job.

Harley, what happened?

Well, to celebrate my first day at the tanning salon, I gave the first dozen

customers an extra ten minutes under the sun lamp free.

Now that you rubbed out the big fella, the specter of bad luck hangs over this

town like a beer belly over a pair of chinos.

Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother

Due to the demise of the great white buck, business at the cafe's been

destroyed. More bad luck.

Look, it was a beautiful animal, but it didn't bring good luck, and its death

isn't going to bring bad luck.

Well, this is terrific.

Four inches on the mountain. All rain.

There goes our ski trip. We're all checking out.

Rain in February?

It'll ruin the whole ski season.

Town's going to potten while I'm mayor.

What are we going to do?

According to the legend... There's more.

The legend says if anything happens to the buck, to rid the town of the bad

luck, the person responsible...

has to perform the rite of the dancing wood nymph.

Oh, no.

Dick, I know it wasn't your fault, but you ought to do something.

I'm not going to go prancing through the woods like some pixie.

Come on, everybody. At least there's something we can do.

Let's go to the armory, form a huddled mass, and wait for Armageddon.

Mr. Murphy?

Oh, please, not so formal. It's Norm.

After all, we'll be spending the next five minutes together.

Okay, Norm.

Well, I wanted our first date to be special, so I thought we could enjoy

wine and a little casual conversation.

That's nice.

Begin.

Hey, beautiful fire.

Uh -huh.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Stephanie, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I mean, you're a

wonderful person and everything, but I don't think this is going to work out.

What?

I'm sorry.

I just think it best if I ended it now.

Wait.

You're ending this?

Now that I've spent some time with you, I realize you're just not my type.

together. Debbie, stop torturing yourself.

It's over.

Hey, I've done it.

I've dated a beautiful girl.

Now I've even dumped one, too.

Obviously, you don't understand English. I told you to keep your monos off my

cute quesadilla.

like he took my verbal venom verbatim.

Michael, something very wrong just happened here.

And it's all your fault for killing that doofy deer.

You too?

Well, I've just been dumped and the explanation can only be supernatural.

Gee, Dick, isn't there anyone your tire tread hasn't touched?

Uh, hi. Hi, George.

Hi.

George, you won't believe this, but I was taking a walk in the deep part of

woods, and out of this hole popped the biggest red woodchuck that I have

ever seen.

George, I think it was the great red woodchuck.

Nice try, Dick, but I don't think this town would get behind any legend that

an overbite.

George, believing in the great white buck is like believing in Santa Claus.

George, you don't believe in Santa Claus.

Why? Are you going to run him over too?

Look, I know this buck business and the wooden imp dance are silly, but there

are a lot of things in life I can't explain.

Like... How we get honey from a little bee.

Or why a bubble is perfectly round.

Why not square?

Or why do freshwater fish stink, but the freshwater tastes great?

Because you can't explain luck doesn't mean it isn't real.

I mean, take me. Yesterday, I had a whole woods named after me.

Now, Utley Woods has been replaced by Loudon Curve.

Well, here we are.

The exact place I saw the great white buck.

Boy, it sure brings back a lot of memories.

I have a feeling this is going to stick in your mind for a while, too, Joe.

Let's get this ritual started.

You know, Dick, I'm really grateful you decided to go through with this. I mean,

seeing you here, doing all this for your friends and neighbors.

Well, Dick, I don't think I ever respected a person more.

Now, get on your tippy toes and flap your hooves. There they are.

Just like George said.

George. I did. I didn't tell them. We overheard you in the feed store when you

were buying the burlap for Dick's costume.

Mildred was right. The 50 -pound bag is too long.

Whoa.

What do we have here?

A little stag party?

Officer Shifflett, we didn't hear you following us. Thanks.

Look, I'm not going to do this in front of you, so you may as well all go home.

Let us stay, Dick.

Yeah, we'd feel silly spying on you from the woods.

Oh, what the heck. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can forget this day ever

happened. How long is this ritual? I've only got enough tape for four hours.

Look, why don't I just take off all my clothes and pose on a bearskin rug?

Oh, let's get this first.

Heck, I may as well do it.

People are going to be talking about this for the rest of my life anyway.

Hi.

I'm Larry.

This is my brother, Daryl.

And this is my other brother, Daryl.

Told you we should have camped out overnight so we'd get a decent seat.

Dick performed the ritual, and I was his witness.

Well, one of them.

See, I didn't think there'd be such a crowd, and I know Dick didn't.

Harley got the whole thing on tape. Come on, there's a set in the study.

So did the ceremony get rid of the bad luck? You betcha. Thanks to Dick,

everybody feels better already.

It's amazing what a good laugh will do for you.

and easy.

But you went through with it, and I'm proud of you. Hey, everybody, come here

and watch this.

Come on.

Oh, go ahead, Joanna.

Thanks, honey.

It's just stuff I took of the woods before I got there.

Wait, what's that walking in the corner?

It's a green deer.

It's not green. The tint's not adjusted right.

It's white.

Wait. You know what we've got here?

Son of white buck.

And George spotted it.

Yeah. In Utley Lobby.

You didn't have to go through that silly ritual?

No. But at least we had the good fortune to see you do it.

I'm declaring tomorrow Son of Buck Day.

I've even come up with a perfect new job for Harley.

A chauffeur for Dick.

What?

No way in hell we're letting you on the road till spring.

Meow.