All language subtitles for Newhart s05e04 High Fidelity

Stephanie, is something wrong?

One of the most important people in my
life is gone.

I'm so sorry.

I can't believe my hairdresser moved
away.

One minute they're here, laughing and
smiling, and the next minute they're

opening a salon in California.

Yeah, you hear about it happening to
other people, but you never think it's

going to happen to you.

Oh, why is life so hard?

They say sometimes work can take your
mind off your grief.

Who could possibly think of work at a
time like this?

Dick, honey, I want you to meet Hal
Foster from my wine tasting class.

Hal, this is my husband, Dick, from the
rest of my life.

Nice to meet you.

Ever since I started taking the course,
I just knew I had to get the two of you

together. I know you're really going to
hit it off.

I know. I certainly felt something.

I've seen you on Vermont Today.

I really enjoy the show.

Oh, thank you. We try to do an
interesting show with thought -provoking

So, Dick, how come you're not taking
this wine class like everybody else in

town? Well, I'm busy working on a book.

You know, there's a lot of research
involved.

And besides, I think it's stupid.

Dick!

No, actually, I felt the same way at
first, but I'm having fun.

Learning a lot.

The homework is not half bad.

In fact, tonight we have to taste this
bottle of 78 Cabernet Sauvignon.

Why don't you join us? This is a good
wine.

Red.

That's one of the two best kinds.

Let me give it a try.

Wine cleanse.

smooth dick.

Now try for the rest of the cork.

Dick, dick, dick.

What, what, what?

Can we talk, hombre, to hombre?

Si.

I have some terrible news for you.

What is it?

Okay, now, Dick, this is some heavy
stuff, so try to keep that lava on a low

boil. Everybody knows what a hothead you
are.

What do you mean? I'm not a hothead.
Whoa, Dick, temperature rising.

Take a gander at these.

24 color photos of Joanna and some hubba
hubba guy.

Where did you get these? Well, the
moment I saw Joanna with this

ran home and got my camera.

If I was going to blow any up, I'd pick
this one.

But they're all good for court.

Michael, I know this guy.

These are pictures of Joanna and Hal
Foster.

He's a friend of hers.

And mine.

Dick, you're not just acting like this
so you'll have an alibi for when you buy

a gun and plug this bozo.

Looks like you're on to me, Michael.

I guess I'm going to have to take you
out, too.

Joke, right, Dick?

Michael, Joanne and Hal are just
friends, and I think it's fine.

Gee, Dick, you're more of an 80s kind of
guy than I thought.

Oh, hi, JJ. Hi, Michael.

and I have a few questions for you
about... Oh, you've seen the pictures.

Poor, pathetic, betrayed little fellow.

There is nothing going on between Joanna
and Hal and the pictures mean nothing.

Sure, Dick.

I know I'd need more to go on than
photographic evidence.

Nice pictures of you and the wife, Dick.

You know, you look a lot better on film.

I'm looking for someone to replace my
hairdresser. Somebody who can cut my

so I can do this.

Thursday at ten is fine. Bye.

Do you finally have an appointment?

No, he has an interview.

I can't be too careful.

You're welcome to use my hairdresser.

Oh, that's sweet.

No.

What's wrong with mine?

Oh, Joanna, you really don't know, do
you?

Sometime we'll talk.

Hi.

I'm Larry.

This is my brother, Daryl.

And this is my other brother, Daryl.

Hi, guys.

Rumor has it, Miss Stephanie, that
you're having some follicle problems.

Well, you're in luck.

Daryl here would be happy to give you a
shampoo, blow dry, and a shave.

He's been itching to use his cosmetology
training again.

People actually let you cut their hair?

Well, technically not people yet.

But there ain't an unhappy sheep in
town.

Thanks, fellas, but I'd rather not be
worked on by equipment that's been

by livestock.

Well, okay, but if you change your mind,
we're available.

And remember, if you don't look good, we
don't look good.

to determine who was going to spill the
bad news.

Daryl lost.

It seems Daryl's chickened out.

Of course, who could blame him? What
with your bad reputation.

What reputation?

As a hothead.

Now, let me put this in the most
delicate terms possible.

Another hog is moving in on your sow.

What are these?

Daryl took the liberty of making some
crayon sketches of the two of them.

The blue one is Miss Joanna.

That's her, all right.

I'm afraid Daryl was quite graphic.

But it's true, she was grinning.

I appreciate your concern, but there's
no reason to worry.

Joanna and Hal, the brown figure, are

taking a wine -tasting class together.
They're just friends.

Come on, Daryl. Some men just refuse to
read the Crayola on the Wall.

You know, I can't get over some people.
I mean... They think just because a

married woman is seen in town with a
single man, it's an affair.

Oh, who's having an affair? Who, who?

You.

And Hal.

Me? Well, what small -minded people are
spreading those kind of rumors?

A couple guys at the station. Larry,
Daryl, and Daryl.

The Petersons.

And Mrs. Pretty.

Who's Mrs. Pretty?

A woman who introduced herself to me at
the market just to tell me about you and

Hal.

You're kidding.

Hal and I have been on a few field
trips. We bought some wine together, but

was all for class.

Honey, you don't have to explain it to
me.

Well, Dick, you know the only reason I'm
spending this much time with Hal is

because you're busy with your book.

Honey, it doesn't bother me a bit.

I'm an 80s kind of guy.

Besides, the people that know us best
know the truth.

were so happy.

Gee, Dick, this is beautiful.

Joanna really outdid herself.

Well, actually, I outdid myself.

What's the occasion?

I finished my book this morning, and
Joanna and I decided to celebrate by

dinner together tonight.

Then shouldn't she be here?

She will be.

She's out touring a collector's wine
cellar. Oh, she's on another date with

It's not a date.

Hal picked her up, they drove to the
wine cellar, and Hal will drive her back

here.

What part of that makes it not a date?

George, I told you not to worry about
it. She's just a little... pretty late.

But she'll be here any minute, and the
two of us will be sitting down and

enjoying one hell of a roast.

How's that roast?

Terrific.

I'm stuffed.

Joanna sure missed a wonderful dinner.
Good wine, good food, good company.

You know, Dick,

When your eyes catch the flames just
right, they

sparkle like diamonds.

Whoa, I think I've had enough of this.

Dick, Dick, I'm sorry I'm late, but I
can explain everything.

Great dinner, Dick. I think I'll just
have my parfait up in my room.

Joanna, you're pretty... a lot late.

It's a very hard to believe story, but
please don't jump to conclusions and

let me finish.

Hal and I met the class at the wine
cellar. Afterwards, we were caravanning

cheese shop and a huge truck got between
us and everybody else and Hal and I got

lost. Then we stopped at a gas station
to ask where the cheese shop was. Dick,

the guy, acted like he knew he didn't.

And so there we were on some tiny little
road that was just getting tinier. Now,

I know this sounds even more
unbelievable, but the... car broke down,

spent an hour trying to get it started.
He finally did. Now, I know this sounds

even more insane, but it would only go
in reverse.

We backed up 24 miles all the way home,
and it took twice as long because Hal

had to keep stopping to rub his neck.

And then a block from our house, he
tried shifting again. It went right into

forward. Now, I know it sounds crazy and
suspicious and unbelievable, and

there's no way I can prove any of it
happened, but it really, really did, and

you've just got to believe me.

Honey, I'm just glad you're home and
you're okay.

That's it?

You're not upset?

Didn't you wonder where I was all this
time?

Well, sure, but knowing you were with
Hal made me feel a lot better.

At all concerned that something else
might happen?

Oh, I thought about it.

You could have been in an accident.

Dick, I'm out after dark with an
attractive man. I'm four hours late and

worried about was that I might be dead?

Joanna, I just happened to trust you.

Well, that is the most insens...

have started this one.

Watch what you say to him. You know how
he gets.

Hi, Jim, Chester.

We have something to tell you, Dick.
We're just a little worried how you

take it. Yeah, we know what a hothead
you are.

What is this? I'm not a hothead.

straight into that one.

We don't want to worry you, Dick, but
we've been seeing a lot of Joanna and

seeing a lot of each other lately.

The whole town's abuzz.

There's even talk of doing some graffiti
about it.

Look, guys, do me a favor. Go back to
your people and

tell them everything is fine between
Joanna and myself.

As a matter of fact, things...

They've never been there.

Him? Can't hear?

You.

So if you need a place to stay, there's
room in my attic.

I'm going out now to a lecture, not that
you care.

Joanna, don't you feel kind of silly
being mad at me because I trust you?

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

I wasn't angrier.

about you and Hal last night.

And believe me, if all that stuff
happened again, well, I'd... I'd be

suspicious.

If you'll get out of my way, I paid for
a ticket. I don't want to be late.

Joanna, you've never given me one reason
not to trust you in the 16 years that

we've been married.

Sure, Dick.

Rub that in my face.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the Legion meeting hall for
a lecture on the Italian wine country.

And exactly what time will you be back?

Nice try, Dick. No, I'm serious. New
rules.

You're not leaving here until I hear all
the details.

Fair enough, Dick.

First, I'm going to the Legion hall.

Then I'm going out for a night of wild,
unrestrained passion.

And you better be back by ten.

Oh, hi, Stephanie. I know what you're
thinking. My haircut is hideous. So why

don't you just come right out and say
it?

Stephanie, it looks fine.

Hi, Dick.

Steph, you're locked. Hatchet job.

Poor Steph.

Now we can't even go out. Well,
obviously.

And Dick says it looks all right.

Dick, Dick, this is no time for cruel
jokes.

Look, it fits there like hair.

Michael, if you don't mind, I think I'd
like to be alone and maybe conditioned.

Guess who I just saw?

Joanna and Hal together again.

I'm only going to say this one more
time.

Joanna and Hal are just good friends
attending a lecture at the Legion

hall, period.

Exclamation point, George.

Dick Loudon is above petty jealousy.

Besides, they're at the Legion hall. Who
could do anything around all those

American flags?

Yeah, I'm sure there's probably nothing
to worry about.

Darn right.

So what if Joanna sees more of Hal than
she sees of Dick? And so what if they

spend a lot of time together drinking
wine?

Yeah, and so what if I just saw them
walking up to Hal's apartment?

There must be some mistake.

Joanna's attending a lecture.

Here's her ticket to prove it.

I'll get my coat.

I know exactly what you're doing.

Well, maybe... Maybe not exactly.

I never knew Dick went to wine country.

How'd you get that 3D effect?

We were just looking at pictures of you.

You said you were going to the Legion
meeting hall.

We had to move. The Legion was meeting
there.

Boy, Dick, you really know how to pick
your moments to burst in.

Personally, I would have waited until
they were at a baseball stadium.

Gee, Dick, they aren't even sitting
together.

Boy, what a hothead.

The only reason I came is because...

Joanna forgot her ticket.

See?

I thought maybe you needed it to get in.

Well, thank you, honey.

That was very thoughtful of you.

Wow. This is better than Playhouse 90.

Dick.

I'm sorry this had to happen like this.

I want you and everyone to know that
Joanna and I are just friends.

You don't have to tell us that, Hal.

Yeah, Dick's the one who's gone off the
deep end.

Well, thanks for telling me, but again,
that's not the reason I'm here. Light!

Why don't we just move to another town
and start over?

Dick, it wasn't that bad.

Yeah. I could have been naked.

Honey, don't be so hard on yourself.

I guess if I hadn't gotten angry at you
for trusting me, you probably would have

trusted me.

You wouldn't have showed up here
tonight.

Yeah.

But the truth of the matter is, you
being jealous was kind of nice.

Don't expect a lot of it.

Don't you think you ought to be getting
back in there?

Missing the best part of the evening,
the laughing and the giggling.

No, I think I've seen enough of the
Italian wine country for one night.

Well,

Trail you home.

Dick.

What do you think of my hair? And this
time I want an honest answer.

It's a darn shame.

No, I just got it cut right.

Hey, what a difference.

anybody in town so fabulous as Bernard
DeVoe.

Hi, George.

It's back.

She's definitely sure is in a good mood.

Yeah, she found a hairstyle that she
likes.

Bernard DeVoe.

You mean Bernie? He's my barber.

He's army trained, you know.

Wait until I tell Stephanie.

George!