Original subtitles

Hi, Stephanie.

You've only got one slipper on.

Some stupid bird woke me up at dawn, so I threw my slipper at it.

Why can't wildlife sleep in?

What kind of bird was it?

It had a speckled front and rings around its eyes.

Oh, that's a hermit thrush.

You shouldn't throw things at a songbird.

George. I would have thrown something at Diana Ross if she'd been singing in my

tree.

I'd better go find my other slipper.

Good morning, George.

Good morning, Dick. Can I borrow a suitcase?

I've won a trip.

Congratulations. Where to?

How's the large mouth bass bonanza sound?

Sounds like I won't be wanting the suitcase back.

How'd you win it?

I was one of the ten beavers that sold the most night crawlers in our charity

drive. Oh, I bet the Girl Scouts wished they'd have thought of that before they

got into that cookie thing.

I'll get you that suitcase.

Oh, thanks.

you mean when you said I shouldn't throw things at a songbird?

Well, songbirds are protected by law.

There's a serious punishment for killing them.

So, did you find your other slipper?

Nope.

There you go, George. Oh, thanks, Dick. I know you're not into lodge meetings,

but you're in for some fun if you drop by tonight.

They're going to post the names of the top ten nightcrawler salesmen, and my

name's going to be up there.

I'm sorry, George, but I'm afraid if I saw that list, the rest of my life would

seem drab.

I understand.

Here.

Honey, don't forget to finish up your work early tonight.

This is the Thursday we're going to try out that folk dancing class.

Damn it.

I wish you reminded me earlier. I just promised George I'd go to the... Beaver

Lodge meeting tonight.

Dick, you never go to those meetings.

I do when there's a list.

Okay, Dick. Get ready to read my name.

It's not on there.

Why not?

Well, here's the problem. I never even heard of this guy, Lionel. Oh, he's a

real nice guy.

He and I do the same thing for a living. We're both looking for work.

Well, how much bait did Lionel sell? Well, they again were cut from the same

cloth. None.

But in all fairness, he wasn't allowed to participate.

He's not a beaver.

He's Buck's brother -in -law.

Who's Buck?

Buck's our chair beaver.

But, George, you're not on the list, and the chair beaver's brother -in -law is.

He didn't sell worm one.

Take it easy, Dick. I'm sure there's a logical explanation.

But... George!

Can I talk to you a second about that list?

Oh, George, I really want to thank you.

For what?

For just being you.

There'd be no living with my wife if her kid brother didn't get to go on that

trip. Who? I kept saying, who?

is going to be sensitive enough to let Lionel go in his place without a fuss.

Me?

Nobody else was in the running.

Wow, thanks, Buck. I owe you one.

Let's go, boys.

George, I don't believe this.

Buck doesn't hand out compliments easily.

Meeting is in order.

Wally will... Read last week's menu.

George, how can you let them con you like this?

I mean, you were so excited about that trip.

Well, that's when I thought I was going.

The first order of business tonight is to decide whether we're going to get the

furnace fixed this winter or to buy one of them fancy new cane tappers.

All those in favor of the furnace, raise your hand.

George, you deserve that trip more than anybody.

Leave it alone, Dick. The beavers never do anything without a real good reason.

All those in favor of the keg tapper?

Keg tapper has it.

Is there any further business?

George. Okay, then I move we adjourn, hit the beer, and drink a toast to the

Bass Bonanza tent.

All those in favor?

I've been cheated.

I sold 138 dozen worms, and you're... Letting some guy's brother -in -law go

that trip in my place.

You beavers are pig fat slime buckets.

George, no more coaching, Dick. I can handle it from here.

I'll put you up to this. So what if he did? Let me say my piece. Okay.

Okay. Let's be fair about this.

Now, beavers, would you rather continue the meeting with a length...

you're going to treat a brother? George, George, don't.

Don't say something you're going to regret.

I quit.

Something like that.

Wildlife Commission?

I was having a discussion with one of my girlfriends about things like hair

streaking, leg waxing, and songbirds.

how it's not that big a deal to kill a songbird.

Oh, it is.

Even if it didn't sing very well.

Well, I can't believe you enforce a silly law like that and allow people who

paint bullfighters on velvet to go scot -free.

Because George quit the lodge.

Why do you ask? Well, I found this melted mug in the mailbox.

Oh, they're either mad at me or this belongs to a guy named Yick.

Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my brother, Daryl. And this is my other brother, Daryl.

and this is my husband, Yik.

Make a note, Daryl.

Guess we had that wrong.

Miss Stephanie, we was down at the town dump, window shopping, and we came upon

your slipper.

How do you know it belongs to me?

By the delicate scent.

Thank you.

Say no more.

Miss Stephanie?

Yeet.

Stephanie, what was your slipper doing at the dump?

Just because you're my employer does not give you the right to pry into the

whereabouts of my footwear.

Dick, I've got a proposition for you. Oh, my gosh. Look what they did to your

mug. That's okay, George. I don't mind.

I do.

Mug melting used to be my job.

Look at that. Yick. If I'd done it, it would have said bleche.

It's a dying art.

Well, I'm putting the beavers behind me.

I wouldn't go back if they got down on their knees and begged.

Besides, the rule states that once you leave, you can never go back.

Well, I'm glad you outgrown all that childishness.

Yeah, I'm starting my own lodge.

I'm putting flyers all over town. The first meeting is Thursday night. I'd be

honored if you'd be there.

I'd be relieved if I didn't have to.

Dick?

Honey?

I got us folk dancing outfits.

You want to try yours on to see how it looks?

Honey, I can see how that looks.

Through a wall.

Well, I had so much fun the other night that I signed us up for classes every

Thursday. This week is a night in Mazatlan.

Damn it.

What?

Thursday, that's the night my new lodge meets.

If everyone would please sit down.

George? Please, please. We can't have mob rule here.

Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Okay. People are finally starting to pile in. Welcome, Harley.

Thanks, but I can't stay long.

There's a beaver meeting in progress and they don't know I'm gone.

I've got to get back before they come, too.

Harley, if you were afraid of being found out, why did you bother to come

here? A fellow looking for work needs as many fraternal organizations as he can

join.

By the way, prospective fraternal brother... No, no, Harley, no.

Well, maybe I'll have more luck with some of the others.

The floor is now open for discussion on a name for this club.

How about you, me, and Harley?

Uh, I...

I like to make a motion that we face reality.

We're not a lodge.

We're a trio.

Well, even so, if the three of us have a good time, word of mouth will spread

like wildfire.

I'm sorry. I have a guest.

I'll tell him about the good time we're having here and get the wildfire

started.

Gee, I'd better be getting to my other meeting.

The disciplinary committee is the first to regain consciousness.

Well, it's getting late.

I move we adjourn.

Better yet, I move...

for our midday munch?

I think Cupcake is still blow -drying her frosting.

Michael, I wonder if you could do me a favor. A favor? As in I wash your hands

and you wash mine?

No, as in you wash my hands and that's it.

You've never asked me for a favor before, Dick. I'll say it. I'm touched.

What's in it for me?

I'll pay for your lunch. Deal.

Now, what do you want me to do for you of a value not to exceed lunch?

As you know, George quit the lodge, and he's been trying to start up a new

lodge, but it fell apart.

And George is heartbroken. Can we cut to the chase, Dick?

I think he needs help with his advertising.

Here's the flyer he sent out.

New lodge, probably meets Thursday nights. Come if you want. If not, I

understand.

I can improve on this, Dick.

Great. Hey, Michael.

Steph, great news about lunch. Forget quiche.

We're upgrading to squab.

What do you mean by that?

Why don't you just come out and ask it? Do I want to eat a dead bird?

If I said lobster, would that unjangle those nerves?

That's better, Michael.

I'll have to remember that magic word next time she's out of sorts.

Lobster.

Miss Stephanie, you'd lose that dainty little head of yours if it wasn't

attached to your spinal column by a mass of ganglia.

We was taking a bath and look what washed up on the bank.

Your slipper.

George's membership drive.

I've really outdone myself.

For a moment, even I felt like joining this stupid thing.

I see.

Brochures? Bumper stickers?

George!

Michael, this is more than I expected. Thank you. Oh, no thanks, Nita, Dick.

Believe me, I feel I've been paid. Oh, by the way, here's my lunch bill.

It's that champagne that put it into three digits.

You wanted something, Dick?

Michael put together an ad campaign for your new lodge.

You're too late.

My lodge and my life are over.

Oh, yeah?

Read them and stop weeping.

I posted these flyers all over town.

First came First Blood, then Rambo, now George's Lodge. Wow.

What? They did come in that order, Dick.

Big meeting Thursday. Door prizes, a color TV.

Wow.

We aren't giving away a color TV.

It doesn't say we're giving one away. It just says there'll be one.

See the car from Knight Rider.

Wow. What?

This is America, Dick, where everyone expects less than what's advertised. We

can't let them down.

International cuisine furnished by the owners of the Stratford Inn.

Yum.

Well, it's good they're expecting less than what's advertised because we're not

cooking any food.

Bad move, Dick.

After the other letdowns, if you don't come up with some food, that mob will

trash this place.

Excuse me.

This gathering is only for people who want to join the lodge.

That's us.

We need a new clubhouse.

Ours burned down in a firefight.

All right. That's a darn shame.

Gee, Dick, I can't find one person to sign up for the lodge.

Looks like your luck has changed, Graham.

Hi. Hi, Harley.

Gee, Dick, the car from Knight Rider. I thought that was just a come on.

We couldn't print it if it wasn't true.

Is Miss Stephanie available to hear a tale fraught with coincidence?

Actually, Larry, she's kind of fraught with work right now.

Oh.

Then I guess we'll relate it to you.

We was out burying Daryl's underwear in a time capsule when we happened upon

this.

Will you make sure she gets it?

We hate to think of Miss Stephanie's five little piggies going wee -wee -wee

the way home without covering.

Hey, I hear you.

Harley, do something with that, will you?

for the first time right now.

What are you guys doing here?

George, this town is not big enough for two lodges. Yeah.

Heed the warning.

Close down or feel the full wrath of the beaver.

Let's go, man.

Right now, Buck?

It's nice and warm in here.

Guys, I said the full wrath.

Boy, I'm kind of hungry. I think I'll fix myself a mile.

high sandwich. Oh, look, mortadella.

Whoa, what a spread.

Even got the car from Knight Rider.

Boy, now you know what would be perfect to wash this down with? I think I'll

just step over here to my fancy new keg tapper and draw a tall, frosty mug

of golden smooth...

We're leaving. We don't want to.

You've got to. If you're a beaver, then I quit.

Where do I sign up for Georgia's Lodge?

Right here. Right next to the little hot dogs.

Well, come on, Wally.

Looks like you and me.

Looks like you. I smell cheese puffs.

Remember the rules.

If you leave... Leave the beavers. You can never come back.

Is that your choice?

Well, I think it's a good one. Toss me a cheese puff.

Boy,

it's going to be great hanging around here whenever we feel like it.

You can only hang around here as long as I feel like it, which should end in

about half an hour.

Where will we meet?

What about the old beaver lodge? I hear it's deserted.

Yeah, but what do we call ourselves?

How about the screaming skulls?

Oh, that's kind of cute.

How about the beaver? Oh, yeah!

Terrific! Now all we have to do is elect a president. Hey, hey, what about Buck?

He's had experience.

I second it!

George, you're not going to stand here and let them elect... Shut up, Dick.

All in favor?

One of those gang people just asked me

out on a date. What should I do?

Well, to be perfectly honest, Joanna, I don't think you should go.

Joanna, could I quit for the evening? I get claustrophobic around this many pot

bellies.

Okay, but would you put out some extra napkins first?

Ah!