All language subtitles for Newhart s03e02 Twenty Year Itch

Morning, Dick.

Good.

Sounds like Mr. Bennett is practicing
again.

Yeah, he played till two this morning
and he's starting up again at... Quarter

past seven.

Right.

Look at this.

I'm trying.

It's her eye, Dick.

It was an eye. Now it's just a bunch of
lines in a bag.

That man is keeping everybody awake.

Not me.

I can't hear him at all out over the
garage.

You know, Joanna slept fine, too.

I watched her.

Dick, when are you going to make Mr.

Bennett stop?

Look, I promised him he could practice
here as long as we had no other guests.

He's going to be leaving in a couple
days, and I just can't tell him to stop.

Shh.

But I will.

God, isn't life wonderful when you're
doing what you were born to do?

Thank you.

Mr. Bennett?

Yes?

What would you like for breakfast? Dick!

Just a cup of coffee. I want to get
right back to my room to practice.

Oh, really?

Dick?

Mr. Bennett, could I ask you a favor?

Anything you want.

You're helping my dream come true.

Without you, I wouldn't have a prayer at
that audition.

Right.

Could you please not play your trumpet
anymore?

What?

In your room.

It's the acoustics.

Maybe you'd be better off practicing
in... Switzerland.

The basement.

Hey, great idea.

I bet cherry pink and apple blossom
white will sound great down there.

He's been playing cherry pink and apple
blossom white?

I thought it was a theme from Shaft.

Good morning.

Says who?

It's Joanna, Dick.

Honey, I was just thinking about the
funniest thing.

Do you remember Jonathan Hill?

Was that the Jonathan you were dating
right before you met me and forgot right

after?

Yes.

What about him?

I know you'll appreciate this.

I kind of have a date with him.

You made a date with a guy who's not
dick?

Most people cut down on that after
they're married.

Well, I shouldn't even call it a date.

We just decided 20 years ago that no
matter where we were living or what we

doing, we'd meet at the Sky Room in New
York at 8 p .m. this Friday.

Wow. That's really romantic.

No, it's really ridiculous.

Well, Dick, it's not like I'm thinking
about going. That would be silly.

Yeah.

Jonathan probably won't even remember.

Well, of course he won't. What do you
mean, of course he won't?

You don't know the kind of relationship
we had.

Sure I do.

What kind of relationship did you have?

Casual. Don't you think if he were going
to show up, he'd call?

I would.

Honey, how could Jonathan call?

Last time I saw him, I was still in
school, and he was on his way to Kenya

the Peace Corps.

He doesn't know where I live, and I'm
not Joanna McKenna anymore. I'm Joanna

Loudon. So let's keep it that way.

Honey, I'm not going.

Oh, Phooey.

I have a whole new life, and I'm sure
Jonathan does, too.

We were crazy to make a date like this.

Crazy and wild and... casual.

Come on, Stephanie, I'll help you with
the breakfast.

Dick, I think you should have a talk
with Joanna.

Why is that, George? I don't think she
knows what casual means.

Okay, Stephanie, I...

Stephanie?

Stephanie! Oh!

Found me your book. Oh, good.

Maybe it'll help keep my mind off that
racket.

Careful, you'll wrinkle Jonathan.

Oh, sorry.

Although it might give you some idea of
what he looks like today.

Oh, hi. Okay if I make myself a quick
sandwich? Oh, sure. Help yourself.

Thank you.

Isn't it true you're not supposed to
play a trumpet for an hour after you've

eaten?

No.

Well, at least we won't have to listen
to that stupid song for a while.

Come on, let's have a look at Jonathan.

Okay.

Jonathan Hill.

This must be exciting for you.

Stephanie, you're the one who wanted to
see him, not me.

Page 72.

Hill.

Hill.

Well, you have to go.

Oh, Tiffany, it was just a college
romance. It was nothing compared to what

have with Dick.

But boy, does this take me back.

You know, Jonathan used to write poetry.

And he could play the guitar. Oh, he had
such a beautiful voice.

Wow.

All that and a dimple in his chin.

Oh, Joanna, don't you want to see him
again?

In color?

Who knows if he'll even show up? What if
he does and you don't?

How can you break a 20 -year promise to
that chin?

Hi.

Larry, this is my brother Daryl, and
this is my other brother Daryl.

I know, Larry.

Do you think we could speak to the man
of the house?

Dick?

Miss Stephanie, may I say your eyes are
the most glorious shade of pink?

Hi, guys. What can I do for you?

Well... For two days and nights now,
we've been hearing the sound of an

in distress coming from this... coming
from this inn.

That kind of thing just tears Daryl up
inside.

So we came over to see what we could do
to ease its misery.

Daryl brung a rock.

It's not an animal. It's a man playing
the trumpet badly.

Well, it did seem strange that a wounded
critter would screech out cherry pink

and alpha blossom white.

They tend to pick one found and stick
with it until... Fellas, fellas, thanks

for offering to help, but there's no
wounded critter, and what we do have is

leaving tomorrow.

Okay, if it's just one more night.

I guess we can use this to help Daryl
sleep.

I'm going to do.

What are you doing, Stephanie?

Hiding his trumpet.

Are you crazy? You can't hide a trumpet
in there.

It won't fit.

Over here.

Dick! Oh, come on. Stop it. Oh,

hi, Mr.

Bennett from the kitchen with the
sandwich.

Well, I have to go upstairs and wash the
beds.

What are you doing with my trumpet?

Oh, um... Joanna asked me how tall this
chair was, and I said I thought

it was about one and a half trumpets
tall.

And darned if I wasn't right.

Really? The same height as my son.

Do you need to measure anything else?

No.

What's this?

Oh, it's just my college yearbook.

Oh, this would be the one that
Jonathan's on.

It's on page 70 -something.

What do you think?

I'd say 20 years ago he was not un -good
-looking.

Poor guy with an oversized dimple in his
chin.

Why can't you just say he's handsome?

Honey, what women think is handsome and
what men think is handsome is worlds

apart. George,

do you think this guy is good looking?

Well, he's okay.

You see? But wow, look at that Jonathan
Hill guy.

He's a dreamboat.

Jonathan Hill.

Say, isn't he the... Yeah.

Well, he's okay.

Well, if all the reviews are in, I'll
just put this away.

Dick, don't you think this might be
getting just a touch out of hand?

What is, George? This Jonathan stuff.

Jonathan this, Jonathan that.

George, what do you worry about? She
already said she isn't going to go.

but she keeps on saying it.

First thing you know, she'll be saying
it long distance from New York.

Maybe you should talk with her.

George, marriage is like porcupines.

The porcupines need to get close to each
other for warmth, but if they get too

close, they spear each other.

Now, if I flat out told Joanna she
couldn't go to New York, then I'd be

porcupine who pulls his mate too close
and... Fills her so full of holes you

could use her to drain spaghetti.

Makes her uncomfortable.

But my porcupine knows she's free to go,
and that's why she's staying here.

What are you two talking about?

Uh, porcupines. Yeah, and marriage and
spearing each other.

Yeah, I was just telling George that,
you know, we love and trust each other,

and that's why I give you leeway.

You mean like if I...

Had wanted to go to New York?

Yeah, that kind of thing.

Dick, suppose I had wanted to go.

What would you have said?

I would have said, give my regards to
Broadway.

Of course, I would have wanted you to
come with me and meet Jonathan.

No, I wouldn't hear of it. I would have
insisted that you go alone.

You really are the most wonderful
husband a woman could ever want.

Dick, if you really feel that way, I
will go to New York.

I'm going with you.

Honey, what time is it?

It's 7 .10.

Would it be easier if I called the time
out every five minutes?

Sorry.

How do you like these earrings?

Fine.

But then it doesn't really count. What I
like, what counts is...

What John would like.

You're not being much help.

Well, it's hard to be both timekeeper
and fashion advisor.

And jealous husband.

I'm not jealous.

Just haven't had much experience helping
you get ready for a big date.

Dick, why don't you just come to the Sky
Room with me?

Are you kidding?

And be bored all night?

No way.

I got a great evening planned for
tonight. Beyond great.

I've ordered a deluxe meal from room
service and I'm meeting Elliot at the

theater. We're seeing cats.

Oh, that's nice.

Then knowing Elliot, we'll probably have
a nightcap and who knows, maybe dancing

till dawn.

Yeah, just a couple of hounds on the
prowl in the Big Apple.

How do I look?

Well, I can probably tell better when I
wipe the steam from my glasses.

Dick, you've seen this before. I wore it
to your publisher's Christmas party.

Yeah, I just don't remember it having
that many freckles.

Then you remember wrong.

Is that the perfume I gave you for our
anniversary?

Honey, if he says I smell nice, I'll
tell him the perfume was a gift from

You're gonna let him smell you?

Oh, honey.

I love you.

If you don't want me to go, I won't go.

No, I... I want you to go.

Thanks. I'd kiss you, but I don't want
it near my lipstick.

Dick and Joanna?

New York.

The trumpet guy?

Checked out.

George?

Gone for a while.

All right, then.

Let the games begin.

Oh, no.

I guess it's written all over my face.

I flunked the audition.

Oh.

Well.

Thanks for stopping by and telling us.

I'll be sure to let everybody know.

No, no, no. I'm too depressed to drive
home.

Oh, don't be silly. Just play the radio
and keep the windows rolled down.

Just drive those blues away.

I've got to face it.

I wasn't born to toot.

Can I have my room back?

Oh, okay.

But I...

I think you should know there have been
a few shake -ups since you left.

There's a new rule of the inn.

No trumpet playing.

Ever.

Fine, fine with me. I don't ever want to
look at this thing again.

Would you like another pina colada?

No, no, thank you.

I'm not going to wait much longer.

By any chance... No, ma 'am, no one has
asked for Joanna McKenna.

I have my eyes peeled.

We all do.

Excuse me.

Are you looking for me?

No, actually, I was looking for her.

This does not happen every place we go.

You're just being paranoid.

I could have told you that wasn't him.

Could I have my check, please?

Sure you'd want to give him another ten
minutes?

I've already given him twenty years.

Can I help you?

Yes.

Do you have a customer named Joanna
Loudon? I mean, McKenna?

Did you say McKenna?

Bernard! You don't understand.

I just wanted to know if she was here.

She's here. She's dying to see you.

It's him. No, you don't understand.
She's waiting for her date. I'm her

Oh, dear.

We don't want any trouble here, sir.

Well, it took you long enough. Right
over here. I was just explaining to him.

It's about time you got here. First you
run off to Kenya and now this.

I don't want her to know I'm here and
I've never been to Kenya.

Dick?

I thought his name was Jonathan.

No, it's Dick.

This isn't the guy?

No.

Well, if Jonathan shows up, do you still
want me... I don't think we have to

worry about Jonathan anymore.

Thank you.

Hi.

Nice dress.

Why did you have to follow me? Couldn't
you have just come when I invited you?

Oh, sure, but then I wouldn't have met
the guys.

So, uh... Jonathan didn't come.

Why did I think he'd remember?

Obviously, I meant nothing to him.

You wouldn't have made this date if you
didn't mean something to him. But he

didn't keep it.

Maybe he has amnesia.

Maybe he's still in Kenya and he's
married to somebody who isn't as

understanding as I am about these kind
of things.

I understand.

Kenyan women are like that.

No, he just forgot me.

Well, I know he didn't forget you.

Maybe he's dead.

I never should have come here.

These last few days were so exciting.

Just thinking about that time in my life
made me feel like a college kid again.

Now Jonathan's not here and I've aged 20
years in an hour.

The one I feel sorry for is Jonathan.

He had one chance in 20 years to see you
again and he blew it.

I mean, the smart one was the guy who
showed up tonight.

Dick Loudon.

Ah, complimentary bottle of champagne.

Or Joanna McKenna.

And Jonathan Hill.

For the last time, I am not...
complimentary.

Oh, yes, yes.

Any couple who keeps a date after 20
years deserves encouragement.

Open her up.

Well, what the heck? I mean, we're in
the best nightclub in town. We're in the

most exciting city in the world. I'm
with the most...

Terrific woman in the world.

You're with a dimpless wonder.

Here. Thank you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'd give you a kiss, but I don't want to
smear your lipstick.

Damn the lipstick.

Thank you.

Meow.