All language subtitles for Newhart s02e12 Cats

Excuse us.

Mr. and Mrs. Kingston, we have a
reservation. Oh, yes, the newlyweds.

Congratulations.

Can I get your luggage?

Thank you. Here's the keys.

It's the silver jack.

Oh.

We don't actually have a honeymoon
suite, but we're going to give you the

Van Buren one.

Oh, Martin Van Buren stayed here?

No.

When we bought the inn, that particular
room had a picture of Martin Van Buren

in it.

It really is our nicest room. Would you
like to see it? I would. Follow me.

Could you cash some traveler's checks
for me? Sure.

Stephanie! Ted!

I can't believe it's you! This is
incredible!

I'm going to take a guess you've met
before. Are you kidding?

We were practically engaged once.

Ted Kingston, Dick Loudon.

What on earth are you doing here?

As if I couldn't guess.

I'm up here on my honeymoon.

Your what?

My honeymoon. I just married Tish.

Tish Ellison?

Mm -hmm. Ew.

I mean, happiness always.

Thank you. What are you doing up here?

Well, I'm... Well, I guess there's no
point in trying to keep it a secret.

I'm on kind of a sabbatical.

Oh, that's right. I heard your parents
cut you off.

It was actually a mutual agreement.

So I'm up here now, just kind of...

Getting away from it all and thinking
about my future.

Oh, Stephanie, we're going to need more
towels in the Van Buren room.

And helping out here at the end.

Dad! Yes!

You know each other? For just ages, we
went to high school together.

How are you? Fine.

Congratulations on Dad.

Congratulations to you, too. I
understand that you've landed a job as a

Oh, well, let me look at you.

Oh, you haven't changed a bit. Thank
you. Why?

These two were best friends in high
school.

It shows.

I still can't get over what a
coincidence this is.

Oh, come on.

You must have known I was up here.

I swear I didn't. I did.

Listen, I have to unpack, but...

After we've rested and you've finished
your scrubbing, we'll have to sit down

and have a nice long chat.

Come on, Ted.

I can't wait for you to see our room.

Stephanie's gotten it so clean it just
glistens.

It's nice to see you again.

You too.

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

Stephanie, what is the matter with you?
Of all the people in the world that I

never wanted to see again, Tish Ellison
was at the top of the list.

Why? We just always had this rivalry.

Ted was one of the main things we had
the rivalry over.

Except in high school, he was mine.

I thought he was the guy I was going to
marry.

What happened?

Oh, he bought a car I didn't like, so we
broke up.

You broke up because you didn't like his
car?

I know it sounds silly now, but...
Joanna, you remember that time in your

when the most important thing in the
world was your boyfriend's sports car?

No.

Well, I guess in Ohio the most important
thing was your boyfriend's cow, but you

understand what I'm getting at.

Anyway, the only thing that matters now
is that Ted and Tish are married.

And she's come up here to rub my face in
it.

And the worst part is there's nothing I
can do except let her.

Hi, guys. Hi.

Who owns the silver jack?

Nothing. What do you want, Kirk? Oh, I
just came over to ask you guys if you

were doing anything tonight.

I don't think so. Why? Well, Cindy and I
would like to invite the two of you

over for dinner.

Over where?

To my cafe.

You're having a dinner party at your
cafe?

Yes, Dick.

Imagine that. Someone actually serving a
dinner at a restaurant.

Well, I think it sounds nice.

Don't you?

Yeah.

Great. I'll tell Cindy you can't wait.

You know, this is going to be the first
dinner party I've ever had.

Before I met Cindy, I never felt like
sharing. But now I guess I feel like

returning all the warmth and kindness
that everyone over here has shown me.

Well, that's nice, Kurt.

Oh,

by the way, it's just the four of us, so
mum's the word to George and Stephanie.

Excuse me, is that fresh coffee?

Yes, it is.

Would you like some? You read my mind.

of cream?

A big kiss or a little?

A peck.

A peck of cream.

We just love your inn. Oh, thank you.

We've only been here for a couple of
hours, but I already feel like this is

home. I feel the same way.

Where is Mr. Kingston?

Oh, he just stepped out to soak up some
fresh air. Please.

Call us Ted and Tish.

Tish, is that short for something?

Tisha.

Hi.

You said you wanted to talk, and I
couldn't see any way of putting it off,

here I am.

Well, I'm sure you two have a lot of
reminiscing to do. I'll just go on my

and, you know, write a book.

Dick and Joanna both are. Well, enough
of that.

Let's talk about us.

Oh, poor Stephanie.

Really, Tish, you don't have to feel
sorry for me. But I want to. Well,

So tell me the truth.

How have you been?

I've been fine, really.

I heard about you and Carl.

I'm so sorry.

asked me, what happened to Stephanie?

They'd heard that you'd run off to some
godforsaken hamlet in Vermont.

And I said, well, I don't know, but I do
know Stephanie, and I can't believe

she'd do that.

Boy, don't I feel the fool.

It must get tiresome.

Speaking of people back home, you should
have seen our wedding.

Everyone was there.

Oh, I could spank. myself for not
sending you an invitation.

It was the wedding you always dreamed
of.

Did you look nice?

Would you like me to bring down the
pictures?

No, I'm afraid I might spill something
on them.

Well, I had the most gorgeous dress.

It was ivory satin with an antique lace
bodice with this flowing 15 -foot train.

It was absolutely magnificent.

So you went ahead and wore white, huh?

It certainly sounds like a lovely
wedding.

Lovely and huge.

I'm so lucky, Stephanie. I've got
everything that all of us ever wanted.

Well, then the surgery was worth it,
wasn't it?

It's absolutely beautiful up here. Who
wants to go for a drive with me?

Looks like Tish is wagging her tail.

Later, Stephanie.

Can't wait.

Hi there. Hi.

By the way, your car was under a tree
and I was afraid of birds, so I moved

Oh, thanks.

Dwight, you have some great car.

Pushes real nice.

I'm going to go up to my room.

Is everything all right?

I'm a little depressed.

Did you ever have a situation where you
could have had something and you gave it

up and now you regret it?

Stephanie, Joanna wanted... Stephanie?

Stephanie, Joanna wanted me to tell you
we'll be over at Kirk.

Okay.

Are you looking for something?

No.

I'm a little depressed.

I don't believe this room.

Oh, that's right.

You've never seen it. Why aren't these
clothes in your closet?

Because my shoes are in my closet.

He was the right guy for me.

What if I never find anyone else and I
spend the rest

of my life alone and miserable and
living in this room?

I really don't think that's going to
happen.

How can you be sure?

Because I think these clothes are going
to run you out of this room.

I'm sorry. I understand how you feel.
You're upset because you...

You see somebody else with something
that you thought you wanted.

And I know this is going to sound
cliché, but you're still young. You have

whole life ahead of you.

Yeah?

Well, if you promise never to repeat
this, I'm going to tell you something

no one in the world knows outside of my
own family.

What's that?

I'm not as young as you think.

How young are you? How young do you
think I am?

22, 23.

Do you really think I'm that young?

That's what I guess.

Oh.

Well, okay, then I am.

But it still doesn't keep me from being
depressed.

Stephanie, I'm sure someday you'll meet
a guy that you're crazy about and your

whole life will...

We'll change.

If only it could happen while Kish is
here.

I have to get going, but... Try to cheer
up, okay?

Come in.

Hi.

Oh, it's you.

Tish is in getting ready so we can go
out for dinner.

I was wondering if we could talk.

Sure.

What about?

I just wanted to tell you how great it
was finding you here.

I guess it's inevitable.

Seeing you has stirred up a lot of old
feelings.

Yeah, well...

For me, seeing you and Tish has stirred
up a lot of new ones.

I think you should know that if I had
thought there was a chance with you, I

never would have married Tish.

What? And what's more, if I thought
there was still a chance, I don't think

could stay with her.

I can't believe you said that.

Why?

Because you just got married.

You can't be serious.

I'm not. That's why I'm interested in
you.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.
Stephanie, you can't say we didn't have

times together.

Remember those drives we used to take
along the coast?

Remember how we used to stop and have
those in -depth conversations?

Remember what we used to talk about?

Not really.

But you do remember they were in debt.
Oh, yeah.

If you and I were back together, I could
take care of you.

I just don't understand how you could be
saying this to me when you're married

to Tish.

Let's face it, Tish is shallow.

So am I.

Yeah, but you're blonde.

It's true.

Listen, I've got to run. We have dinner
reservations.

Think about it, huh?

You'd really leave her for me?

My feelings for you run so deep, I'd
dump her so fast she wouldn't know what

her.

It's so nice to see you guys.

I really did want to have you over to my
place, but I've only got a table for

two.

No, this is fine, really.

I offered to cook, but Kirk insisted
that he do everything himself.

He's so excited.

I think it's kind of sweet.

Well, how's everybody doing?

Just fine.

I hope you're hungry. We are.

Well, then, why don't we all take a look
at these and decide what we want.

We're ordering from the menu.

Honey, I thought you were making a
chicken or something.

I have chicken on the menu.

Well, this is all right.

Actually, it's kind of fun.

I've never ordered at a dinner party
before.

I guess I'll have the Salisbury steak.

And I'm going to have the beef dip.

Excellent. Would you like soup or salad?

I'll have the soup.

I'll have salad.

Your dinner doesn't come with salad.

If Dick wants a salad, I think you
should make him one. Well, that's true.

not charging him.

But you're getting the Italian dressing.

What's the cluck in a bucket?

It's boneless breast of chicken and
French fries in a red plastic basket.

I guess I'll have that.

It says here there's a choice of
vegetables.

Yeah, peas.

All you have is peas?

Yeah. Well, then what's the choice? Do
you want them or not?

I guess I'll have them. Great.

Darling, why don't you go put on some
music while I go fire up the grill?

Okay. We're closed!

What? Oh, honey, it's George!

Go away, George. We're closed.

Is everything okay at the inn?

Oh, sure, everything's fine. It's just
that I couldn't find anything to eat,

I thought maybe I could get a hamburger
to go.

I didn't realize, George, you didn't
have dinner.

Wait outside and I'll fry you a
hamburger.

Thanks. George, get back here. You can
have dinner with us. Are you sure?

Wait a minute. I planned this before.

You haven't planned anything. We're
ordering from menus.

I don't want to butt in. Don't be silly.
You're going to sit down with us and

eat dinner.

Where do you propose to put him?

We'll pull another table over here and
he can sit here. Oh, fine. Let him stay.

You're pathetic, you know that?

Hi,

guys. Oh, crying out loud.

I'm sorry if I'm interrupting.

What are you people, babies? You can't
eat by yourselves?

I didn't come over here to eat. I came
over here to talk. Well, talk to them. I

have to go cook.

Stephanie, what's the matter?

Ted.

He just came into my room and proposed.

What? Who's Ted?

He's an old friend of Stephanie's. He
just started talking about how great we

were together, and he said if I was
still interested, he was still

This is crazy. This man's on his
honeymoon.

How can this be?

Guess he's not having a good time.

What did you tell him? I didn't tell him
anything.

I was so shocked. I didn't know what to
say.

You're not actually considering going
with him, are you? Of course not.

trying to decide whether or not I should
tell Tish.

Who's Tish?

Ted's wife.

I mean, knowing something like this
could absolutely destroy her.

Then again, it does seem like kind of a
lousy thing to do.

Stephanie, I can't believe you'd tell
her just to get even.

You can't.

You wouldn't, would you?

I don't know.

I'm torn.

I can't deny there's a part of me that
would love to burst her bubble.

On the other hand, she is my best
friend, and as much as I hate her, I

don't want to see her hurt.

So what do you think you're going to do?

I'm not sure.

Well, listen, would you like to have
something to eat while you're thinking

about it? I guess so.

You know, even in the midst of wrestling
with this terrible problem, I was

wondering who was going to make my
dinner.

Here we go. Soup and salad for five.

Oh, Kirk, Stephanie's staying, too. Oh.

Thanks for dinner, Dick and Joanna.

This is it?

Honey, what am I supposed to say? It was
the worst dinner party I've ever been

to in my life.

Well, still, I think you should say it
was a lovely evening and we had a

wonderful time.

You're a real mountain of integrity, you
know that?

Good morning.

Hi.

We're checking out.

Oh, so soon?

Yeah, we're headed for the Caribbean.

Tish needs to be tanned.

Is Stephanie around?

Yeah, she's in the dining room. I just
wanted to say goodbye. Excuse me.

Hi, Stephanie.

Oh, hi, Ted.

I just came to tell you we're leaving.

You're kidding.

No. Tish got this sudden yen for the
Virgin Islands, so we're taking off. But

before I left with her, I wanted to
check with you first.

Did you think about what I said last
night?

Yeah. What did you decide?

Thanks, but no thanks.

I see. Well, listen, you know where to
reach me if you change your mind.

Oh, Stephanie, there you are. I was
looking for you in old bathrooms.

I was just telling her we were leaving.

Well, why don't you go and warm up the
car while Stephanie and I say our

goodbyes.

Oh, Stephanie.

It doesn't seem fair to leave you here
struggling to make ends meet like this

while Ted and I fly off to the
Caribbean.

I mean, it's fine, but it just doesn't
seem fair.

I'll be okay, Tish.

Well, you certainly have blossomed into
a wonderful maid.

Honestly, if they ever let you go, I'll
be glad to hire you.

You know, Tish, I wasn't going to tell
you this, but now I think I will.

What's that?

It's about you and Ted.

What about us?

I just... I just want you to know.

I just want you to know that I hope
you'll both be very happy.

Why, thank you, Stephanie.

Do you really mean that?

I really do.

I think you deserve each other.

So, when do you think we'll see each
other again?

I couldn't say.

Well, great then. We'll just play it by
ear.

Thank you both. We had a wonderful time.

Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.

Well, really, it's over.

I guess that's true.

Listen, before I go, I left a little
something for you up in the room.

You left me a tip.

Oh, don't think of it as a tip.

Think of it as charity.

Goodbye, Stephanie.

Have a nice trip.