Original subtitles

All right, can I have your attention, please? I can do it. I swear to God. I

swear to God. Pre -jam concert committee meeting is now in session. Did you ever

see what I saw? Shut up or I'm kicking you all off the committee.

Put her in charge of one little concert and she thinks she's perfect.

All right, all right, all right. Guys, look, Mo's right, okay? The concert's

this weekend, so we need to start getting serious.

I agree. Now, first issue at hand, will there be dancers and thongs?

Not unless you'd like to volunteer.

Okay, but you know I'm going to charge extra for them lap dances.

Oh, well, you know, that's fair considering you have all that extra

All right, all right, listen, listen, people, let's get back to business,

Mo, I thought you was looking for Destiny's Child. Yeah, because you know

Beyonce, whoo, that's my future fiance.

I was just wondering, why would you book man?

Well, because they have three number one singles, because they have the most

requested video. And because they're fine.

Hey, Alicia, you know, I'm surprised you like them. You know, they're

roughnecks. Not exactly your type.

Well, true, but I'm sure their money will distract me, okay?

Well, I just think it's a bad move, okay, Moe? And I hope your security's

Oh, just because I booked a rap group, my security has to be extra tight?

Dang, Hakeem, I don't believe you. How can you stereotype them like that?

No, their name is Mayhem.

What's in the name? I mean, we call her Niecy. Are we her auntie and uncle?

Well, you're right. It's your committee.

No, it's not even like that, Hakeem. We're in this together.

All right, trust me.

Mayhem is going to rock the house.

Spring Jam Committee, are y 'all with me? Yeah.

Hey, Ava, hold up. Do you want me to wear my thong or not?

Not.

Gonna be down, come on.

Gotta do what I gotta do.

Gotta move on.

I won't. I won't.

I won't.

I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I

I won't.

When me and my bands up, we push lands up. Stop putting your grands up. And the

six, Deuce and Polly, yo, girl, gotta holla.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. You feel it? Yeah.

So, Mr. Producer, what you think? Sounds hot. It's blazing.

Hey, yo, I got it.

I just started a name for the group.

What? I didn't say anything.

No.

That's the name of the group. Nice.

What?

Poop? No, not poop.

What? Because you never know what to expect.

Oh, honey.

What, hey, what?

Give me some extra money. Dean just thought of a new name for our group. Oh,

what? Who told you?

Hold up. The name of your group is what?

That's right. Yeah, that's tight, right?

Well, uh, I've heard your group before.

I think it should be called Y.

What's up, fella?

Hey, Pumpkin. Hey, Daddy.

You want me to fix you something to eat?

Nah, but you can fix me up a pumpkin.

Hey, yo, you walked out of my system, man. Come on.

Oh, sorry, Miss Pumpkin.

Hey, Miles, I need you and your homies to be my street team.

Who?

What's the street team?

Only the most vital component of our promotional effort.

Flyers, huh? Yeah.

Hand them over.

Here. Yo, Mayhem's performing at your school?

Yep. And I know you guys are all going to be there, right? Oh, yeah. We up in

that piece.

No doubt. Can you get us in for free? Of course.

Yeah. Oh, boy. But I won't.

It's business, baby. All about the Benjamin.

Let's talk about business.

Let my group open up for you. Oh, Dorian, I wish I could, but see, it's

simple. It took us two weeks to get the university to approve Mayhem.

Plus, we can't afford to pay a second group.

If they're so desperate, they'll pay you.

But we will do it for free. We just want the exposure.

I'm sorry, Doreen. Maybe next time, okay?

Come on, Mo. Let us rock one song.

Come on, man. You can beg till little Kim puts out a gospel hour.

It's not gonna happen.

Dad, tell Mo to hook us up. Mo, hook your brother up. Daddy, I can't. I'm

son. I tried.

Hey, Doreen.

Keep rehearsing. Maybe I can get you on next year's concert, okay?

Next year? Come on now.

Man,

your own sister won't even give us a shot.

I thought you said you had connections.

She does.

Man, you need some rams.

Don't worry.

We gonna open up for Mayhem.

And I put that on my mama.

What you want?

Hey, Alicia, you're in charge of the green room, right?

Mm -hmm. Can you please tell me why you ordered two flower arrangements?

One for the group and one for me.

Duh.

Why so many towels?

Oh, that's because Shenanigan is going to be sweating me.

What makes you think he's going to want you?

Oh, don't say oh.

Oh, now, about that second limo.

Limo? Oh, that is it. You were off the talent committee.

You work in craft service, boo.

Excuse me, hon. I don't do food.

You're not going to be doing me, Annie.

Hi. I'm Lene Foster from Holler Records. Are you Moesha? Yes, I am. Thanks for

coming by.

Oh, please. I love to drive by the colleges.

Help me stay in the mix.

How long did you plan on staying?

No, these are some promotional items I brought by to give away at the concert.

Oh, well, thank you so much.

Girl, the tickets are selling like crazy. It's going to be off the hook.

everyone at the label is really excited.

You know, I want to commend you, Moesha. Unlike most college shows, this is

really well organized.

It's good to see a young sister doing her thing.

Well, you know I try.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

All right, Mo, now I'm begging.

What do I have to do to get my group on your show?

Dorian, it's not going to happen.

Mo, at least listen to my demo.

Oh, my bad. Am I interrupting?

Yes.

Welcome to the entertainment industry, Moesha.

You know, if I had a dollar every time I heard, listen to my demo, I would be

paid. Lene, this is my crazy brother, Dorian.

Nice to meet you. Do you go to Cal U?

Nah, I'm a... Record producers slash managers.

Slash high school students.

Are you putting on a concert with Mom?

Kind of, sort of. I'm A &R for Holler Records.

Oh, word?

Then let me holler at you for a minute.

Can you listen to my demo?

Dorian. It's cool, Moesha. I'm always looking for new talent.

Well, my group is mad talented. Let me tell you all about them. Dorian, she

not have time to hear about your group.

You know what? I do have to run, but I'll tell you what.

If you walk me to my car, I'll let you tell me about your group. All right.

Okay. All right.

Lene, thanks for everything. I'll see you at the concert. Okay.

Whatever.

I will call you.

Mo, Mo, Mo. Look, I've got to give it to you. Man, the house is packed. The

crowd is going crazy.

Hit it.

There's just one problem.

What? Mayhem is not here. Yo, yo, yo, get your t -shirts, get your Mayhem Jam

-shirts. I got a one for ten, two for twenty, three for thirty -five.

Hey.

Don't say a word.

See, I was the don't even say anything.

Except you the finest lunch lady I ever seen.

I'm the finest anything you've ever seen out there. Shoot.

No, I wanted them here 15 minutes ago. This is bad business.

It makes the artist and the label look bad, and I will not tolerate it.

You know, it's kind of sexy when you get mad.

Dorian, you don't have to butter me up. I'm going to listen to your demo. Well,

let me introduce you to what, all right? Lene, this is Jay.

How you doing? Dirt and nice.

Dorian's told me so much about you. He did, though.

But did he tell you why they call me nice?

Oh, she's from the record label, man. Oh.

I look forward to hearing your music.

Mo. Mo. Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo. Yes, girl, what's up? The crowd's getting restless.

Oh, my God, tell security.

Well, I tried to, but they were busy. Doing what?

Hiding. I don't know what you need to do. The group isn't here yet.

Hey, yo, yo, Mo, let us go on, and we can hype the crowd until Mayhem. Doin'

not now.

Can't you see I'm in a crisis?

Moesha, I am terribly sorry, but I just got off the phone with Mayhem's manager,

and it's five minutes away.

They said that an hour ago, Lene. I know, but don't worry. They'll be here,

the audience will be fine.

Okay, okay.

Oh, Mo, girl, you want me to perform because you know I just learned the new

steps to the NSYNC video? What?

No, no, Niecy, Niecy, Niecy, no.

Don't perform, but you know what you can do? You can go out there and stall

them. Tell them if the group is warming up. Tell them anything. I don't care. I

don't care.

Hello, L .A.

Those people out there have no business being at a university.

Get out of here, okay? Maybe we should start giving people's money back. Are

crazy? Are you trying to start a riot?

Hey, Dorian.

Dorian, now is the time. Go out there and do your thing.

Oh, now you want us to perform.

Well, you better get your butt on that stage.

Money got plenty.

Yeah. Throw your hands up with me and my bands up. Come on. You put slams up.

Start putting your grants up. Come on. In the six boots and holler. Your girl

got to holler at the N -I -C -E -P -I -N -P. Yeah. Hitting you up with the W -H

-A -T. What? K -N -O -C -K -O -E -G. Knockout. You didn't know your girl. She

want to do me. Yours truly.

Then ask Gangsta. Yeah.

Hitting you up with the W's. What? What? Hitting you up with the W's. What?

What? I'm hitting you up with the W's. What?

We'll be right

back.

I hope enough to buy me time to find another group.

I'm glad mayhem is shrugged. Some dudes ain't nothing but trouble.

What's up? What's up? Mayhem up in the house.

Hey, hold up.

Am I hearing music?

Yo, get those busters off my stage before it gets buck wild up in here.

Excuse me.

Where the hell y 'all been?

What?

You guys are late. We almost had a riot.

Like that? They wild and unruly?

Oh, my God. That's just how we like them, baby.

Making them wait gets them hype every time. For sure.

Oh, so you guys were late on purpose?

Hold up, man. You had my girl over here hyperventilating for nothing?

What you gonna do about it?

Nothing. I'm just going to mind my business.

No, man, forget that fool, all right?

Look, we here now, okay? So why don't you just point us to the stage?

Oh, I don't know. You think you can make it there on time?

Dick, baby.

That's it, huh?

Mm -hmm.

Won't you meet us in the dressing room?

Us?

Oh, Mama, what is tearing it up? Yeah? Well, yo, won't you get him off my stage

before we really tear it up in here? Well, I can't just throw them off the

stage. Yeah?

Well, if you don't, Mayhem will, all right? Yeah, hold on. Well, you ain't

to come at her like that. No, no, don't. Please, understand this.

I mean, if you don't get the hell out of my way, I'm going to really bring the

mayhem up in this piece, son.

Why don't you just calm down, all right?

Okay.

Shanannigan, please.

I'm so sorry about the misunderstanding, but what's almost done, and then you

guys can go on.

You know what? Obviously, baby girl right here ain't hurting me.

What? You think I'm playing with you?

Come on, y 'all. Let's get these morgues off my stage. No, don't do that. Get

out of my way.

Hey! Hey, stop it.

Let go of me. Help.

Fucking Mr. Brutus!

And I should have just listened to him and hired more security.

This is all my fault.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Jerome, will you shut up?

Why is it taking the doctor so long?

Maybe they're still suing up Hakeem.

Jerome, why are you here? I'm here to comfort you, baby girl. Don't comfort

Don't worry about this.

Look, Hakeem is tough. He'll bounce back from all this. Really?

Yeah, I hope so, man.

My cousin Tito, he got jumped in Tarzana. He lost an ear and two toes.

Jerome, you are not helping at all.

Come on, Jerome. Take a walk.

Aye, aye. We can check out the honeys in the maternity ward.

Look, Mo, you're worrying yourself.

Come on and sit down. I can't, Nancy. I mean, what if he's really hurt?

Why are you torturing yourself? I'm sure he's going to be fine.

I guess I never thought about losing him.

You still love him, don't you?

Moesha.

Daddy. Oh, thank God you're okay, baby.

Did anybody else get hurt? No, I'm fine, but Hakeem, he got jacked up.

Does he have any broken bones?

Because I'm going to be the first to sign the case.

Look, Miles, not now, son.

Baby,

tell me what happened.

All right, um...

Mayhem was upset that I put Dorian's group on before them.

And then Hakeem was just trying to protect me with shenanigans, and his

just started jumping him.

Mayhem? Shenanigans?

Well, does anybody have normal names anymore?

Hey, Dorian, that was so bad, Mayhem had to beat y 'all off the stage?

Please, man, if anything, they were that good that it made them jealous. Yeah,

that's right, we ripped them.

And this whole concert thing was a disaster. I should have just listened to

Hakeem. This is all my fault. Mo, don't blame yourself if somebody else is

ignorant. When are young people going to realize you don't solve your problems

with violence?

Yeah, you're right. But the next time... That's something.

What did they do to you?

Oh, does it hurt?

Of course it hurts.

This is all my fault. I feel so bad.

You know, Hakeem, while I was in the waiting room, I had a lot of time to

about us.

And I'm so sorry for all the time that we've wasted.

It was so dumb of me to leave you for you.

But then again, you did kiss Niecy.

I know you're wondering where all this is coming from, but I just never

how much you mean to me.

And I don't want to lose you, Hakeem.

I don't want to lose you either, Ma.

How did you do that? Your mouth didn't even move.

I'm over here, Ma.

I've been spilling my guts out to some stranger.

Oh, no. Oh, baby, I've heard you. I listened to everything you said.

Well, who is he?

Oh, that's Tommy. He flunked his skydiving test.

Oh, it hurts.

No, baby, no, don't be.

Come here.

Baby, I'm glad you said all those things about me.

I want you to know I care about you, too.

I always have.

Tommy, what's wrong?

Can I get you another iced tea?

I just really feel bad about what happened.

Baby, baby, baby, listen.

I thought I would never say this, but could you please stop being so nice to

I'm just trying to help. I know, sweetie, and I appreciate it, but you're

smothering me.

I mean, not that I'm not enjoying this, though.

Hey, look who's out.

Hey, what's up, boy?

In a couple more weeks, I'll be good as new.

Hey, Dorian, what brings you by?

Oh, I want to thank you for letting us perform the other night.

I'm the man now.

Hey, Dorian, I want to apologize for not being supportive of your group at

first, but y 'all were a big hit. I'm proud of you. Thanks, Mom.

So I was next for what?

Oh, as a matter of fact, I have a date tonight to talk about where we go from

here. A date?

Don't you mean a business meeting?

Well, a little bit of business.

A little bit of pleasure.

What is she doing here?

Lizzie's having nightmares about her future.

Welcome to Burger Planet. May I take your order?

Now she's wondering what she'll be when she grows up.

Dork! Marie, the kids! Cut it out!

Mommy! Lizzie McGuire.

Today at 5 .30 Eastern.

Yeah.