Original subtitles

Tomorrow is Miles' birthday.

Somehow the little beast made it through another year without me killing him.

He's already given me three different lists of gifts that he wants.

For instance, what does a 12 -year -old need with a Ferrari, a Rolex, and a gold

tooth?

I shouldn't buy him anything.

It's about time he learned to appreciate what he already has.

And that's exactly what I'm going to tell him when he realizes I accidentally

left some eggshells in his pants.

It's me.

It's me.

Twelve years old.

Indeed, we're on the verge of having three teenagers in this house. Mm -hmm.

I say we move out while we can.

What a beautiful cake, Mom.

Thanks. It was made with love.

Love tastes a lot like eggshell.

Yeah, man, I'll take Jell -O for my birthday.

That way I can see what's in it.

Like we're going to celebrate your birthday.

I mean, Mr. Mitt made your favorite dinner.

We sang happy birthday, the Stevie Wonder version.

And we're having this cake. I mean, what else could there possibly be?

The important part, my presents.

Happy birthday.

Ooh, money. One size fits all.

Ten dollars.

Got anything in the extra lunch?

you're singing in the shower.

And Miles, this is for me.

Wow.

Clothes.

Again.

There are 50 -yard line tickets to the homecoming game in the pocket, but if

don't want it, I will see you at Kingo.

Here you go, kid.

I picked it out myself.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Oh, this is the one I wanted. It has an alarm, a calendar, a compass.

It does everything.

Does it teach you how to tell time?

Thanks, Dee. Thanks, Dad.

Oh, you're welcome, sweetheart.

But I think your dad has something else for you.

Miles, I noticed you've been reading Black Panther comic books lately.

But I bet you didn't know that your old dad has one of the original issues. I'm

talking way back.

When the Black Panther was first discovered by the Fantastic Four?

You do?

No, no, no, son.

You do.

Happy birthday, Miles.

I'm passing down my entire comic book collection from father to son.

I know you old enough now to appreciate it.

Hey, Mr. Mitchell.

Have you collected any other magazines that I'm old enough to appreciate?

That was a pretty nice birthday, kid.

Yeah, but I was hinting I wanted the New Jordans and a Sega Dreamcast.

What kind of hands did you give him?

I told him I wanted the New Jordans and a Sega Dreamcast.

Shoot, you can sell those comics and get all the video games and sneakers you

want. No, you're tripping. It says right on the cover they're only worth 15

cents each.

Look, man, those are collector's items.

Do you know how old Uncle Frank is?

And people pay crazy cash for stuff like that, dog.

For real?

For sure.

And there's a comic book store at the mall, too.

Well, let's go get paid.

Hey, there.

Come on in.

Hi, Eric. Sweet meeting you.

Hi, Kane.

Have you met Eric?

Oh, no.

All right, how you doing?

Where's Mark? We're about to be late for the movie. On a weeknight? Well,

shouldn't you guys be studying?

And we are... studying, Mr. Mitch, so we have to see Birth of a Nation for our

film history class.

Birth of a Nation? We walked out of that racist movie when I was in college over

ten... five years ago.

Hey, I can't believe we have to see it either. I mean, it's kind of like

watching soul food at a Weight Watchers.

Hey. Hey, my girl, let's go. I want to get some popcorn before the movie

It's class, Niecy. You can't have popcorn in there.

You can if you had it right first.

Have a good night. All right. Drive safe.

Oh, man, old Niecy. Check that out, man. Her boyfriend seems pretty nice. You

know, it's about time she got a man.

Wait a minute. You talking about Eric? Yeah.

Honey, where have you been?

He's dating Moesha. Yeah.

Oh. I knew that.

I knew that.

All right, Moe, I'm off work. Let's go.

Oh, please wait, Hakeem. I cannot leave without a homecoming dress. Which one do

you like?

Oh, this one. Let's go.

A lovely choice.

Oh, no.

This one's kind of droopy where it should be more clingy, you know? Okay,

other one. Let's go.

Another excellent, excellent choice.

You're right. And there's no way to tell unless I try them both on again. Be

right back. Oh, come on, Moe. Please, Hakeem, just watch my purse. I'll be

back.

Oh, hey.

Honestly, your girlfriend looks fantastic in both dresses.

Oh, Moesha? No, no, no, no, no. She's not my girlfriend.

You're kidding.

The way you two bicker and don't listen to each other, I could swear that you've

been together forever.

Well, yeah, actually, yeah.

I thought you said... Oh, I get it.

Playa, playa.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. See, it's not like that either.

Moesha and I are just...

I think we have a winner.

You like it?

Wow.

Oh, you are beautiful.

Thank you, Harkin.

Okay, I'll take this one. You know, we have the perfect accessory for that

dress.

Oh, that is beautiful.

I love it.

$200? You can keep it.

Oh, no. Why don't you get it? I mean, it looks really nice on you. No, the

necklace costs almost as much as the dress, and there's no way I can afford

both. Well, then I'd say get the dress.

You'd look awfully silly walking into the dance wearing just a necklace.

Okay, then.

Will that be cash, check, or charge?

How about a little of each?

Moesha, Moesha, Moesha.

Yo, check me out. I'm in full effect.

Now, is this the lick or what?

That might be the lick in junior high, but when you graduate, you might be

enough to roll like this.

Roll like what, man? You don't even match.

See, me, I got my navy blue, my royal blue, and another blue.

And you don't see the problem?

Then I can't help you, man.

Hey, fellas. Hey, guys.

Hey, what's up, y 'all? How was that movie?

Well, your uncle enjoyed it. We got there just in time for matinee prices.

Miles. Where'd you get those clothes?

That's not what I bought you to go to school.

I know.

These are much better.

And much more expensive.

Honey, where'd you get that kind of money?

Well, Dory and I took Dad's old comics to a dealer. He gave us 500 old bucks

them. You two sold my comic book collection?

Hey, don't be mad, Uncle Frank.

We got you some, too.

Poo -poo.

I'm kind of short, so we got those at the swap meet.

Do you realize what you've done?

That first Black Panther issue alone is worth over $600.

$600?

Man, we could have gotten the Tommy Hill figures.

Miles, son, those books were a gift, part of a legacy I was passing on to

And you two go out and squander it on some...

Junk that'll be out of style by Christmas.

But, Dad... No, no, no. Miles, I don't even want to hear it.

Come on, boys. Why don't you go upstairs and get cleaned up for dinner?

And pull up your pants before you break your silly necks.

Honey, try not to be too disappointed.

Oh, Dee, I've been collecting those books since I was Miles' age. They had a

of sentimental value.

For you, sweetheart, but not for Miles.

Maybe you should have just kept them. But I wanted Miles to have them. Ah, my

point exactly.

Once they're given, gifts belong to the recipient, not the giver.

Why couldn't I have just married a stupid woman?

I'll get it.

Hey, Hakeem, what are you doing here?

I just came to see you.

Well, I love to talk, but I'm about to go to the homecoming dance. So am I.

Yeah, but I'm going with Eric.

And I'm going with Karen. Oh, the girl that lives across the hall from you,

Yeah, yeah, she invited me, so, you know.

Well, shouldn't you be picking her up?

Yes. Hey.

But, um, but first I came to give you this.

It's the necklace that I wanted.

Yeah, well, you know, you said you liked it, and the boutique owner needed a

sale, and to get that mall discount, you know.

Have a nice time.

Can you help me put it on?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Now back to Moesha.

See the lady in red right there. Ooh, she looks so good. You need to be on the

radio with us.

Dre, Dre, you can't use those corny New York lines on these California women,

dog. Wait a minute. I don't need lines, man. I'll tell you straight up, brother.

Half these women here think I'm a real doctor anyway.

Yo,

Karen, thanks for inviting me to your homecoming.

Oh, I'm glad you accepted.

You're the nicest guy I met at Cal U. Thanks, but I go to Santa Monica

Really? Yeah. But you're always here.

I saw you at the library.

Oh, studying with friends.

The cafeteria.

Eating with friends.

I also saw you at the dorms. Are you sleeping with any of these friends?

Girl, we better keep on dancing before I get in trouble.

Okay, I can dance and talk.

Hope these brothers don't start fighting over me, because I would hate for my

good looks to start some trouble up in here.

Girl, you know you like that.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, that is a beautiful necklace.

Girl, it really sets off your whole dress. You like it? It was a gift.

I knew Eric liked you, but I didn't know he was that strong.

Actually, Hakeem gave it to me.

Hakeem who?

It means the guys don't just buy girls jewelry unless it means something.

It means he likes the necklace and he likes me.

Yeah, well, you got the second part right.

The question is, how do you feel about Hakeem?

Well, Nisa, you know we're just friends.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, boy. Hey, honey. Hey, honey. I wasn't expecting you home until after

midnight madness. Well, unfortunately, the madness peaked at about 9 .30, and

did my energy.

Well, I hope you saved a little bit for your wife.

Oh, yes.

Especially if you saved a little madness for your husband.

Well... Oops.

Wrong folks business.

That's all right, guys. He's not going anywhere. Good. Dad, I got something for

you. Oh, what's that, son? Well, I thought about what you said, and I went

to the mall and returned all the stuff I bought.

Yep. Even the stuff he bought for me.

Then I went to the comic book store to try to get your comics back.

Oh, Miles, you didn't have to do that.

Well, I knew how much it meant to you. Yeah, you were right, Uncle Frank.

Those comics were worth a lot more than we sold them for.

So, all I could afford was the $600 for the first Black Panther.

The store owner only sold it back to me because he felt sorry for us.

He should have seen me when he cried.

I love those Jordans.

Well, now, wait a minute.

You said that the dealer only gave you $500 to begin with.

Where'd you get the rest of the money?

I returned the watch you gave me.

You what? Thank you, Miles. I appreciate what you've done.

Having a good time?

Yeah. Yeah, you?

Well, I'd like to dance with my friend.

Oh, man, you see, I'll be back in a minute.

Come on, Miles.

to stay on beat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not exactly a fly girl yourself.

All right, we're going to slow it down for just a minute. That's right.

And for those who are about to get close, you might want to pop a tic -tac.

Hey.

Thought I was dancing with my friend.

You are.

I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's happening

I can't believe it's true And I can't believe

that you are here with me And I am here

with you

We're kissing

Karen kept you out pretty late, huh?

No, actually, changing buses kept me out late.

Guess we have to talk to Daddy about giving you a good deal on a previously

owned Saturn, huh?

Thanks, but right now, I'm saving all my money for college.

Okay.

Did you have a good time tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Karen's nice.

Good. Eric's nice, too.

Good.

So, um, I guess you don't go out with him again, huh?

Is there any reason why I shouldn't?

No. I mean, well, not if you don't see a reason not to.

Did I see a reason not to?

Look, Mo, he seems like a pretty nice guy.

You should do whatever you want to do.

I will.

Guess it's getting late.

Let's go get some sleep.

Right.

Good night.

Oh, I thought I heard voices out here.

Uh, Hakeem, it's too early for breakfast.

Oh, Moe, just make sure you like our babies. Sure thing. Good night, Ike.

night.

Whoever said men and women can't be friends needs to take a look at Hakeem

me.

Although I've known him for a long time, the depth of his friendship still

surprises me.

And I like surprises.