All language subtitles for Moesha s04e16 Home Is Where The Car Is

Time to get your laugh on with Moesha.

Sometimes life is like a baseball game.
You never know what's coming your way.

Sometimes it's a fastball.

Other times, life throws you a curve.

But when you know you're on top of your
game, no matter what life throws your

way, you know you're gonna hit it out of
the ballpark.

You're going to be down. Come on.

Hopefully chipper this morning. Oh,
you'd be too if you were about to be

valedictorian. Oh, now, see, see, that
award could have been mine if I had just

paid attention, done my homework, and
showed up to class.

Well, I worked hard, but there's no
guarantees. You know, I'm just honored

in the running with my equally capable
colleagues.

Ooh, sounds to me like you've already
written your acceptance speech.

Just the first draft.

Now, that's the Mitchell spirit.

Frank, the results aren't even in yet.
Now, let's keep this in perspective.

Right.

Hey,

Miles, what are you doing with those
sheets?

Minding my business.

Miles. Hey, I was doing my laundry.

Well, I wonder if the little rug rat
does windows.

I don't know. It's time to do a squeegee
and find out.

Well, you guys have a good day now.
Okay. And good luck, baby. Thank you.

Mo, don't forget to mention me in your
acceptance speech.

Dang, I know I forgot someone.

Frank.

That's the third time this week that
Miles has washed his sheets.

Oh, well, I talked to him about cleaning
his room. Looks like it worked.

Honey, I think it's deeper than that.

Oh, Dee, you don't think he's wet in the
bed again, do you?

No.

Deeper.

Oh.

Well, uh, I guess Miles and I should
talk.

Mm -hmm.

Talk about what?

Well, I'll just leave you two alone.

Uh, Miles... Dad, I didn't do it, I
swear. I don't know how that spatula got

stuck in the VCR.

I do.

But that's not what I want to talk to
you about. Have a seat.

Okay.

Why have you been washing your sheets so
much?

Oh, well, you know what they say.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

I see.

Um, Miles... Have your dreams been

different lately?

Well, kind of.

Um... Are you experiencing nocturnal
emissions?

Come again?

Are you having wet dreams, son?

Yeah, I guess.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Miles, don't be
embarrassed.

It's natural.

So you've dreamt about Tatiana Ali, too?

No, no, no.

Lola Falana.

Anyway.

Son, wet dreams can be very awkward.

You're telling me.

Why didn't we have this little talk
earlier?

Maybe I would have had some time to
prepare.

Oh, well, I knew that we'd get here when
we got here.

Well, we're here.

So, the bottom line is, don't be
embarrassed.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

That's right.

That's right. It's natural.

It's just all a part of becoming a man.

All a part of becoming a man? Uh -huh.

Cool.

So, who do I have to dream about to go
chest hair?

Well, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm making a few notes. I have to
interview the class valedictorian for

school newspaper.

Oh, really?

Well, what are you going to ask
yourself?

Yeah, how are you going to take a
picture of yourself?

Look at Lacey and Phillip.

They think they are so smart.

Girl, they are smart. They kept me on my
toes.

Yep, and now you get to cut them off at
the knees.

Nice soup, Mrs. Mitch, y 'all.

Yo, Kim, Kim, she can't hear you. So,
can't a person put a positive thought

into the universe?

Don't turn up the volume. Here comes my
announcement.

Oh, my God.

Good morning, students.

Well, here's the moment you've all been
waiting for.

Well, some of you.

The valedictorian of the Crenshaw
graduating class of 1999 is...

Jason Hale. Yay, Mom!

Congratulations, Jason.

That's not you.

with a curl bag and the rubber gloves
and then... You got somebody smarter

Moe.

Jathan Hill. I never heard of Jathan
Hill. Where did he come from?

Girl, I don't know, but that sounds like
a good opening for your interview.

Where did he go?

Hi,

Jason.

I'm Moesha Mitchell. How you doing?
Yeah, I know.

We've had some honors courses together.

Oh, sorry about that.

It's cool.

I just, um, came over to say
congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.

So, uh, when can we get together?

What are you, a valedictorian groupie or
something?

No, no.

I'm on the school newspaper, and I have
to do a story on the winner.

Oh, yeah, well, um, I'm kind of busy.

No, it won't take that long, I promise.
Just a few basic run -of -the -mill

journalistic questions, that's all.

All right.

Shoot. Now?

Delay not till tomorrow to be wise,
William Congreve.

We'll never do today what you can put
off till tomorrow, Aaron Burr.

It's now or never, Jason Hill.

Whatever, Moesha Mitchell.

So, uh, what universities are you
considering?

Oh, well, you know, I've gotten offers
from a few colleges back east. Oh,

really? Which ones?

Harvard, Yale, MIT.

All those.

Oh, well, I bet your parents are proud
of you.

They're dead.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, listen, I got a lot of work to
do, so good luck with your story.

Wait a minute, I don't have enough to do
an article.

Sure you do. Just be creative like you
were on that tutoring story.

Not enough.

But you know what? If he doesn't talk to
me, somebody at his house will.

Hey, Kim, you work in the office.

Can you pull this file for me? I can't
do that. It's wrong. It's unethical.

Just buy dollars. It's in your locker by
the end of the day.

Hey, y 'all. Hey.

So, uh, how did your interview with
Jason's family go? It didn't. Kim, I

refund because that information you gave
me on Jason was bogus. Girl, please.

My info's never bogus.

I'm telling you, that address was no
good unless he changed his name to

Maybe he's in a witness protection
program.

No, no, no, think about it. Nobody knows
where he lives, and he refuses to

answer questions, and he works in the
school cafeteria.

This one's for the X -Files.

You know, you were so close to making
sense.

So close.

Luzma, why don't you just go by his job?
I heard he works at Krispy Kreme

Donuts. Well, that's a good idea. I'm
going to go by there after work. Yo,

before you sweat them, can we get some
free donuts?

Have you seen my...

Bo, what are you doing with your church
clothes on?

Dad, did you know IBM split two for one?

Since when did you get interested in
stocks?

Well, since I became a man.

What happened to your face, Miles?

Oh, nicked myself while I was shaving.

You ought to stop letting Dee use our
razor.

Coffee? A little French roast.

Want some?

Excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hey, Sammy.

Thanks for the invite.

Looks like I'm gonna have to pass.

Bye.

Kids.

What was that all about?

Oh, Sammy's trying to get me to go to
his little laser tag party.

But, son, I thought you loved laser tag.

Well, when I became a man, I put aside
all childish things.

Miles.

Son, it's gonna take a lot more than a
tie, suspenders, and some coffee to make

you a man.

No, Dad.

You're right.

I need a woman. No.

Son, the biggest part about being a man
is being responsible.

Well, how do I become responsible?

Well, you can start by getting yourself
a job.

Where? At Brother Saturn. You can start
tonight.

I've got a job?

Hey, this man's stuff is pretty cool.

So, when do we hire my secretary?

I think you were fouled. You want to try
that again?

I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

Ooh, that donut looks really good.

It is.

You're not going to ask me for any, are
you?

Because glaze are my favorite.

Oh, well, you know what?

My favorite snack is sweet potato pie,
and I don't like to share mine either.

You out here by yourself?

Where are your parents?

They're in heaven.

Looks like you're moving.

No, we usually park in one place.

Unless somebody hassles us.

Hey, man, do you live in this car?

Hey, get away from my sister.

Jason.

Jason, what's going on? No, I'm asking
the questions. What are you doing here?

I'm looking for you.

Moisa. Despite what I've heard about
you, I mean, I'm sure you're a nice

I'm gonna have to ask you to stay out of
this. I mean, just... Look, pretend you

never saw us here. I can't do that,
Jason. Not to you or to her.

Yes, you can.

I mean, you can and you will.

Don't be mean to her, Jason.

I think she's nice.

Listen, I... Look, I appreciate your
concern. I mean, I really do.

But in case you haven't noticed her...
Ashley and I, we're doing just fine.

No, what I've noticed is that you're
living in a car, Jason.

Look, it may not look good, but we're
making it.

And once I turn 18, I'll be able to take
care of her better.

But if I ask for help now, we might get
separated, and I can't let that happen.

And all we have is each other.

So please, don't tell anybody about
this.

Would you at least let her come to my
house so she can have a home -cooked

and a hot bath?

Ashley, come on. Stay out of this.

I can't let her go for a sleepover at
the vice principal's house.

Look, all I have to do is tell Dee that
I'm babysitting for you until you get

off.

That'll work, Jason.

Please. And you think she'll believe
that?

What's not to believe?

I don't know.

It's just too risky, Ash.

She won't tell, right?

I promise.

All right, Ashley, get your coat.

And go on with what you said.

Ooh, finally, a blockbuster night.

Hey, honey. Hey.

Hi there. Hi.

Ooh, that's Miles' robe, but that's not
Miles'. This is Jason Hell with his

sister Ashley. I'm babysitting for him.
Oh, how nice of you.

Please have more broccoli. Oh, yes.

Oh, more broccoli. You are definitely
not Miles.

Where are clothes?

Oh, well, she had a spill, so I decided
to wash them.

Which reminds me, maybe I should put
them in the dryer.

Ashley, you want to help? No, honey, let
her finish her vegetables.

So, Ashley, how old are you?

I'm eight. How old are you?

So you're hanging out with Moesha
tonight, huh?

Yeah, she's really cool.

And she's almost as smart as my brother.

Oh, yes, that Jason, he's pretty smart.

I bet your grandmother's really proud of
him.

You know my grandma?

Oh, yes, she's a very charming lady.

Do you think she'll ever get better?

What's wrong with her?

Uh, nothing.

Well, honey, something must be wrong if
you're worried about her getting better.

Ashley, if you talk to me, maybe I can
help.

I wish somebody could, because I miss
her.

Moesha, we need to talk.

But, Dee, I promised Jason that I
wouldn't tell you about his situation.

You didn't. Ashley did.

Moesha, honey, I can't just turn my back
and pretend this doesn't exist.

I'm obligated by law to do something.

I know, Dee, but he'll be 18 in a few
months, and he'll legally be able to

for her.

But, sweetheart, I have to do something
now.

That little girl needs a home. They both
do.

See, Jason is afraid that they'll be
separated, and all they have is each

Dee.

Moesha, I have a friend who works for
social services. She'll know what to do.

I'll call her.

Can't we at least talk to Jason first?

Sure, I will talk to Jason, but I'm
still going to make the call.

All right, fine, if that's the way it
has to be.

But, dear, I sure hope Jason understands
this.

Wow, being a man sure is hard.

No wonder you're always so cranky.

Oh, well, I wouldn't exactly call it
cranky, but I'm glad you understand.

Hey, baby. Hey, honey.

Yeah, you know, son, when I told you
this morning that you were a man, I

biologically. But physically and
mentally, you got a ways to go.

Being a man isn't as easy as your father
makes it look.

Mm -hmm. Who are you telling?

Even though part of me is a man, is it
still okay for me to be a boy?

Son,

you have the rest of your life to be a
man.

Enjoy being a kid while you can.

So does that mean I can go to Sammy's
laser tech party tomorrow?

Of course you can, son.

Yes.

My boy.

Well, looks like I handled that
situation.

Mm -hmm.

I hope you're ready for another one.

Honey, I just can't believe that
something like this could happen at my

Honey, how do I let it get by me? Baby,
don't beat yourself up about it. You

can't expect to be on top of every
detail of every student's life.

Shoot, I can barely keep track of Moe,
Miles, and Hakeem, and they live here.

Here comes Jason.

Hi, Jason. Finally, you're here.

Dang, was Ashley that much trouble?

Oh, Jason, you're so clever. No wonder
you're valedictorian.

I'm Mrs. Mitchell. Hi, Jason. Oh, these
are for you. Oh, thank you.

So, this is the young man who bested my
daughter, huh?

Thank you, Daddy.

Congratulations, Jason.

Thank you. Have a seat. Oh, thanks, but,
I mean, it's late. I better just get my

sister and go. You know, I don't want my
grandmother to worry.

Jason, we already know about your
grandmother being in the nursing home.

Jason, I'm sorry. I didn't... See, I
knew this was a mistake. Not if you give

a chance to help you find a place to
live, son.

Do you have any other relatives that you
could stay with?

No.

Well, Jason, I've made a few calls, and
I'm sure that we can find a good home,

one that'll take the both of you. Oh,
and you make it sound so easy, and it's

not.

And I've done the research.

I mean, once you get put in the system,
you get lost.

Some people never get out.

That's just the way it works.

So if you don't mind, where's Ashley?

She's in there.

Ooh, Dee.

That girl snores as loud as you.

Ashley.

Ashley, wake up. Come here.

Jason, please let her stay tonight.

This isn't going to work.

I mean, our lives are just too
complicated.

And we hear you, son.

Look, why don't you and your sister just
get a good night's sleep, huh?

In the morning, we'll start looking for
a solution that we can all live with.

I don't know what to say.

Just say you're done.

Oh, by the way, um, is this neighborhood
safe?

Because we got all our worldly
possessions in the car.

Whenever I feel the urge to complain
about what life throws my way, I hope

remember Jason.

He handled more adversity than I could
ever imagine and still came out on top,

with a little help from Dee.

She was able to find a wonderful foster
family at our church that will take care

of both Ashley and Jason.

Now, if I could just find another family
for Miles.