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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,330 --> 00:00:01,330 It's time to get your laugh on. 2 00:00:02,650 --> 00:00:03,010 I 3 00:00:03,010 --> 00:00:11,870 can't 4 00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,030 believe we had a flat time. 5 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:16,270 No, I can't believe you didn't know how to change it. 6 00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,030 Well, it would help if you had a spit. 7 00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:22,430 The shortcut doesn't scare you, right? 8 00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,150 No. 9 00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:26,470 At least there's a full moon out to light our way. 10 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,480 Sorry shorty. 11 00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:43,910 Halloween and late night pizza with anchovies do not mix. 12 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,700 Hey, you know, tonight's a big night. 13 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,780 Oh, Miles, you make a great Herculean. 14 00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,760 But you make an even better Xena. 15 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:39,520 Help me! 16 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:43,960 Somebody! 17 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,520 Anybody! 18 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,380 I'm too young to die. 19 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,860 Honey, pass this here, please. 20 00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:05,040 and really did. Your stomach was growling. 21 00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:09,940 Are you okay, son? 22 00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:11,380 Uh -huh. 23 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,600 Honey, you're a little warm. I think you're getting sick. 24 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:17,880 The son of Zeus never gets sick. 25 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:24,500 But then again, he never asked me if Mo's cooking. 26 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:26,960 Drink and sleep! 27 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,660 Oh, shh, shh. Listen, guys, that's Kevin. Don't say anything. I'm scared. 28 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,020 Oh, yeah. Y 'all want to come take a look? Oh, yes. 29 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,000 Did you get a good deal? Whatever it was, I could have done better. 30 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,490 What are you wearing? 31 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:18,990 Oh, this is my Halloween costume. 32 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,310 You like it? 33 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,450 I'm Saturn. 34 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:23,470 Well, it's better than Uranus. 35 00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:28,670 Hey, is Miles ready to go trick -or -treating? Oh, honey, I'm afraid little 36 00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:30,590 Hercules had a fever. I sent him to bed. 37 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,510 Oh, baby, that's too bad. 38 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:35,350 I mean, I know how much he was looking forward to Halloween. 39 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:38,590 Well, did he take it like a man? 40 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,010 Well, he kicked and he screamed, so I guess that's a yes. 41 00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:45,850 Did you get the Halloween candy? 42 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,590 I got something even better. Oh. 43 00:04:54,310 --> 00:05:00,230 Saturn keychains and air fresheners. Yeah, yeah. See, aliens, Star Wars, 44 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:01,970 kids love anything sci -fi. 45 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:03,990 And you love anything that's free. 46 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:06,990 Hey, Miles. 47 00:05:07,370 --> 00:05:09,050 Miles, what are you doing out of bed? 48 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,030 My temperature. It's gone down. 49 00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,250 It's a miracle. 50 00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:17,810 Well, so how's the patient? 51 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,610 Well, according to this, he's dead. 52 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,670 Oh, ice, huh? 53 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:25,370 Next time, let the evidence melt first. 54 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,790 This Halloween's jacked up. 55 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,370 Anybody seen the phone? 56 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,930 Mo, do I look sick? 57 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:35,930 Miles, do I look like Dr. Quinn? 58 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,350 Let me finish dialing first. 59 00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:53,330 Did you pick up your Patti LaBelle costume? 60 00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:56,970 Yeah. Girl, Patti wish she looked this good. 61 00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:02,250 Oh, um, you're still going to see Tina Turner, right? And you know this. 62 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:04,810 Yeah, but does Ike Mitchell know this? 63 00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:08,370 No, and he's not gonna know until after we win the contest. 64 00:06:08,770 --> 00:06:10,270 Did Kim pick up her Diana Ross costume? 65 00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:13,130 Did Niecy follow Kim home? 66 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:34,440 Now leave your message after this smooch, and I'll return the call. 67 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,780 If I feel like it. 68 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,860 Kim, you need to stop renting girl sex. 69 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,080 Okay. 70 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,940 It's just that I am not messing up my nail. Look, we just called to see if you 71 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,040 got your costume, okay? 72 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,540 See you tonight, girl. Peace. 73 00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:54,100 Hello? Niece, you still here? Yeah. 74 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:59,340 Um, you know, I didn't want to say anything before, but... 75 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,080 Do they make a Diana Ross costume in Kim's eyes? 76 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,280 Lucy, you know you are wrong. 77 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,800 But you know what? If they do, let's pray it's spandex. 78 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,500 Girl, I gotta go get ready, okay? Okay, well, I'll see you at 7. 79 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,800 Bye. All right, bye. 80 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:33,280 Not tonight, Andel. Tonight we're... The Divas of Stone. 81 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,140 Oh, I'm scared of y 'all. 82 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,640 Who? We scared of you, too. 83 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,540 Anyway, 84 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,400 guess who I am? 85 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:42,579 Natoya Jackson? 86 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:43,580 No. 87 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:44,820 Michael? 88 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:46,980 No. 89 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,460 I'm Elvira, Mistress of Darkness. 90 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:54,320 Well, you know, that's nice. Try Andel, but we're going to win the costume 91 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,320 contest. Yep. 92 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,720 Is that you? 93 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,080 Man, you look good. 94 00:08:02,340 --> 00:08:03,340 I know. 95 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,200 Hey, dog, your lipstick is smudged. 96 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,540 Good looking out. 97 00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,540 Hey, Kim. 98 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,700 What happened to your costume? 99 00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:18,600 Yeah, you were supposed to be Diana Ross. 100 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,660 Well, I 86ed that idea. 101 00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:25,260 But we're supposed to be the Divas of Soul. 102 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,500 Just change that line, all right? 103 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,120 Okay, Michael, we're working with the theme here. 104 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,340 She could have at least told her girls before she messed up the program. 105 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,480 Well, if her girls were really her girls, then maybe y 'all would still 106 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,480 program. 107 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,420 Okay, now, are you Rodman or the Riddler? 108 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,920 Look, I promised my girl I wouldn't say anything, but somebody's got to set you 109 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:03,920 two straight. 110 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,640 Michael, we don't know what you're talking about. 111 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,720 Maybe that's because you talk too much. 112 00:09:09,369 --> 00:09:11,930 Like this afternoon when Kim overheard you clowning her weight. 113 00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:14,350 Huh? Talking about spandex. 114 00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:19,050 Dang. Wait, wait, I thought we hung up. 115 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:21,690 Yeah, and Kim thought you were really her friend. 116 00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,370 Now back to... Moesha. 117 00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,690 This video is frightening, Miles. 118 00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,690 No, no, no, baby, I was watching that. 119 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,050 Honey, I got an idea. 120 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:48,570 Let's tell scary stories. 121 00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:52,350 Miles, it's either scary stories or bed. 122 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:59,590 Once upon a time, on a cold, dark, and stormy night, there was a little boy 123 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:05,530 who couldn't fall asleep. So he tossed, and he turned, and he turned. 124 00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:08,370 And he told us... Are you sleeping in a salad bowl? 125 00:10:10,590 --> 00:10:15,850 Suddenly, there was a hideous cry coming from his bedroom closet. 126 00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:23,430 Frightened, the little boy, he pulled the blankets up over his head and he 127 00:10:23,430 --> 00:10:24,970 screamed for his daddy. 128 00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:28,730 But his daddy never showed up. Now, was this our king? 129 00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:33,130 May I finish the story, please? 130 00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:35,210 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Okay, okay. 131 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:41,370 So, the screaming, it got louder and louder, and the little boy, frightened, 132 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:43,470 reached for his trusty flashlight. 133 00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:47,830 But the light, it just flickered for a moment, then died. 134 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,090 He should have used those bunny batteries. 135 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:58,990 So there he was, cloaked 136 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,230 in darkness. 137 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,890 When suddenly, the closet door. 138 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:11,960 It flung open and out jumped a huge, hairy monster with 139 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,960 sharp fangs and bloody claws. 140 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:22,120 And it slipped across the room and jumped on to the poor, depressed little 141 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,000 boy. Was it a zombie? 142 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,400 to sleep with the little boy. The end. 143 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,480 Oh, I get it. 144 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,020 Powder puff. 145 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,440 Trick or treat. Oh, well, let's see. 146 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,180 Oh, here we got air fresheners for you. 147 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,260 Oh, key chains for you. And here's some stuff for you. 148 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,160 Happy Halloween. 149 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,600 You see, Dee? 150 00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:07,990 It's love, Saturn. 151 00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:17,290 I guess love hurts. 152 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:19,830 Dee, can I go trick -or -treating? 153 00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:21,350 Sorry, Miles. 154 00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:25,370 But I want some candy. Honey, you are too sick to go outside. 155 00:12:25,810 --> 00:12:28,350 Besides, I've got another scary story. 156 00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:30,090 Oh, Dee, hasn't the boy suffered enough? 157 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:36,670 Why don't you go out and trick -or -treat for him? Ease his pain. No, no, 158 00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:37,850 It's just too cold out there. 159 00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,290 Please. 160 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:41,410 Don't forget your hat. 161 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:46,150 I 162 00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:56,370 mean, 163 00:12:57,090 --> 00:12:59,090 there's got to be some way we can make it up to Kim. 164 00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,130 Right. 165 00:13:01,350 --> 00:13:02,350 I mean... 166 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,080 Look at her. 167 00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:05,420 Over there. 168 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,800 Dancing with her boyfriend. 169 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,420 Pretending to be the life of the party. 170 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,320 Right. Right. 171 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:14,980 She's pathetic. 172 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,240 Let's go be pathetic with her. 173 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:27,910 Do the dance step that we talked about. 174 00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:36,190 Excuse me. I'm dancing with my man. 175 00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:38,110 Why don't you dance with your man? 176 00:13:38,510 --> 00:13:39,510 Oops. 177 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:48,090 You crazy, Kim. Yeah. 178 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,940 long faces. You look like those twins from Sister Sister. 179 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:44,140 And Del, if you overheard your friends joking about your weight, what would you 180 00:14:44,140 --> 00:14:45,140 do? 181 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,560 I don't know, because my friends would never do anything like that. 182 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,620 But if they did, I'd have to question our friendship. 183 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,300 See? 184 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,440 We need to stop asking her for advice. 185 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,840 Niecy, we need to apologize to Kim. 186 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,640 Oh, 187 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:26,800 Miles, I'm sorry this Halloween didn't turn out the way you wanted. 188 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,360 It's not so bad. 189 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,240 I'm beating you 49 zip. 190 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,600 My dad's out there hustling candy for me. 191 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,040 Maybe we should do this every year. 192 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,660 All right. 193 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,040 Here we go. 194 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,220 Honey, what happened? 195 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,860 Forget that. Where's my candy? 196 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,940 Probably melting in someone's mouth. 197 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:51,880 What? 198 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:56,320 Well, everything was going great. I had a bag full of candy, son. 199 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,840 Then all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, these roughnecks pull up next 200 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:04,060 One says, Yo, planet head, give up the candy. 201 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,680 Did you get the license plates? 202 00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,520 No, they were on roller skates. 203 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,080 No, but I did recognize the ringleader. 204 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,380 Yeah, I think she's in your class, Miles. 205 00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:21,520 Hey, what was I thinking? 206 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:27,160 I got this today at the faculty meeting. 207 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,740 Happy Halloween, Miles. 208 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:38,560 You know, French -made costumes are a very original idea. 209 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,280 I just love everything French. 210 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,780 French fries, French toast, French mustard. 211 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,720 My son, he's from Compton. 212 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:57,700 I just love everything Compton. 213 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,200 Baby, your nose is shining again. 214 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,020 I'm always having problems with my T -zone. 215 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:18,880 Hey, Kim. 216 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,800 Girl, you wearing that She -Devil costume. 217 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,560 Yeah, yeah. It looks like you're losing weight. 218 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,479 Uh -huh. 219 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,800 Now, why is that a compliment? 220 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,340 I was just saying that your costume makes you look slimmer. 221 00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:40,020 says being a size 6, 4, or a 0 makes you attractive. 222 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,220 Uh... Cosmo? 223 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:54,880 Kim, Michael told us that you heard what we said, and it was wrong, and we're 224 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:55,940 really, really sorry. 225 00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,580 Yeah, we didn't mean to talk about your weight. 226 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,200 You don't get it, do you? 227 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,980 It's not about my weight. 228 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,260 I'm secure with myself. I just don't appreciate my so -called friends talking 229 00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,260 about me. 230 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,500 Kim, we are your friends. 231 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,280 Yeah, through thick and thin. 232 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:21,140 I mean, I know what you meant, and I know what you did, and I would never 233 00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,600 about my friends behind their backs. 234 00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:26,060 Wait, hold up. 235 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,560 Now, uh, just the other day... 236 00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:35,710 You were talking about how bougie Mo is since she started at Bridgewood. Excuse 237 00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:38,450 me. I meant bougie in a good way. 238 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:43,290 And to think I stood up for you when Mo was clowning your spaghetti legs. 239 00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:47,830 Spaghetti legs? 240 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:52,310 Well, you know, see, I'd rather have these legs than your heartbreak hotel 241 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,310 sheet. 242 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:57,350 Are you saying I can't keep a man? 243 00:19:02,190 --> 00:19:02,929 fail, man. 244 00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,310 Please, you're gonna be graduating with miles. 245 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:14,470 Well, I guess we're all busted for talking behind each other's backs. 246 00:19:15,950 --> 00:19:17,290 So now what do we do? 247 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:18,870 Be more careful. 248 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:21,370 I'm just kidding. 249 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,890 Aw, you guys, we need to stop gossiping. 250 00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:28,390 I'm sorry, Meesee and Kim. 251 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:30,930 So am I. 252 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,600 All right, 253 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:39,999 listen up, everybody. 254 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,080 I want to thank all the people for supporting our first annual Halloween 255 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,320 Tonight's first place winner will receive two free tickets to the Magic 256 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:59,160 Theater and a free haircut and all -weave consultation at my pop's 257 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:06,830 Please. Here you are, Mr. Q. 258 00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,470 Thank you, Mr. H. 259 00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:16,630 Tonight's winner for the best costume is the She -Devil, Kim Parker. 260 00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:24,490 Come on, baby. Go get your prize. 261 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,310 I already got my prize, my little bad boy. 262 00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:29,830 And I got mine, too. You little She -Devil. 263 00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:33,050 They say that we learn from our mistakes. 264 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,200 Well, I learned that sin isn't necessarily better, and friendship never 265 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,200 about each other. 266 00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:44,220 But if you absolutely have to, don't ever do it on a three -way call. 18683