Original subtitles

My motive for inviting a French exchange student to stay with us was simple.

He or she can come here, so that later I can go there.

Ah, to be in Petty, following in the footsteps of such literary greats as

Baldwin, Chester Himes, and Richard Wright, and not being followed by my dad

a date.

I mean, he thought we'd wind up with Jean -Paul L 'Eclise Ball, whose only

intention would be teaching me a foreign tongue.

Dee envisioned me being exposed to a worldly, sophisticated French

And Hakeem was hoping, well, let's just say he and Miles took the same road, the

low.

Like Daddy, I too pictured a John Paul, but in a whole different light.

But no one expected China.

I guess we're all prisoners of our own stereotypes.

So, yo, China, how you like chilling in the U .S. so far?

Come see, come saw. Come again?

It's all right.

You know, something's been bugging me, China.

Now, if you French, how come you got a Chinese name?

I told you she was going to ask you.

Bonjour, madame. Bonjour.

Comment allez -vous?

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

Hey,

yo, player.

Mac later.

Drew down was in the shop yesterday. Said I could give him a tape.

Drew down? No, drew up.

That's what happened to homies here when the rain hit it.

Yeah, yeah, he produced it now. He's inspecting the demo by Tuesday.

Okay, okay, okay, man. A brother can have a little pressure, man. Hey, check

out, check it out, check it out.

Hey,

baby girl, with the twist and the twirl.

Legs in place, face out of this world.

Walking real fast, but I'm gonna bust my youth.

Can't I park my ride, get out and talk to you? He's a player.

He's a...

Yo, that was off the hinges, yo. You know what? If you really want to blow up

the spot, you would have Chyna and Kim sing back up on the demo tape.

Yo, that could work.

Look at my shorty looking now. Oh, you know.

Yo, be at the shop at 645. The door's black at 7 sharp.

Oh, we gonna be large.

I want to be large.

Try a protein shake.

No, I want to be Q's assistant.

Don't smoke that. I don't need no assistance.

I'll work for free. When can you start?

Let's go, y 'all.

Frank, honey, we can't paint the living room until we pick a color. No, no, not

now, Dee.

Oh, now, Frank. I mean, you are the one that said it was too expensive to hire a

painter, and since you can only paint this weekend, you need to make a

All right, all right.

All right, now.

What do you think? Do you like the dusty rose or the magnetic magenta?

Well, if I were Richard Simmons, I'd like the dusty rose.

But since I'm more like Richard Roundtree, I'd like a more manly color.

Oh, well, we've got that.

Dolomite red.

Frank, honey, why is it we can never make a decision without you throwing

into it? Shoot, I barely have any gender left after sleeping in that pink canopy

bed.

You don't have to sleep in that bed.

Oh, no, Dee. Oh,

baby, let's take a look at the cupboards.

All right.

Now, tell me, what do you think about the Swiss coffee?

Dee, that's white.

No, that's Swiss coffee.

Now, just what part of Swiss coffee is white?

Well, obviously, the Swiss part.

Why don't you just pick a color? Yeah, all right, all right.

I like the tan. That's berry gummy drop.

Berry gummy, rooty -tooty, hotty -tooty, whatever, Dee. Just put it up.

Miles, honey, come on, tell me, which color do you like for the living room?

Hmm, the berry gummy drop.

Son, that's ant.

No, the berry gummy drop.

Oh, on second thought, it might clash with your drink.

You might want to go with the Swiss coffee.

Je suis très heureuse que vous êtes ici.

Écoute -moi maintenant.

Mon mari, Frank, lui pensait qu 'à ce que c 'est blanc.

Manifestement, il est aveugle.

Exactement.

Then you know we're laughing at you, too.

Yeah, well, it's day and they own stay now.

Uh -oh, you're going pig on us.

Hey, big head. Hey,

girl. That girl looks cute on you. Don't know how the words will go.

Omar, when I signed up for the exchange program, I never dreamed I'd be singing

on a hip -hop joint.

You know what? Let's keep this excitement up for when I come see you in

I'm just so hyped after being in the studio with Q. I mean, he's all about

music.

But why am I telling you this? You two probably talk about music all the time.

No, the only thing he ever said to me about music was, Mo, give me back my Wu

-Tang CD. Mo, turn off that Beg and Key Sweat. And Mo, turn up Onyx.

You ought to come down and check us out. I mean, it was your idea to put us

together in the first place.

Yeah, maybe I will come by tomorrow, because I know you're tired of driving

that car with Niecy. Uh -huh, the hoopty.

All right, let's do this.

Shorty, we're rehearsing. I know. Can I watch?

I don't know. You might make Hakeem nervous.

Baby, please. The only thing that make Hakeem nervous is the clothes sign at

KFC.

Come on, QQ. I never got to see you do your thing before.

I'll be so quiet, you won't even know I'm here.

All right. Okay. Have a seat. Thank you. Hi.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Have a seat.

All right, let's try it from the top.

This time, we need to get it more in the pocket. So I need y 'all to lay it more

on the back side of the bed. Oh, honey, this is so exciting. You're just like

the real Q.

If you was a real Kosey Jones, she would be a blonde.

Here we go.

He's a player.

He's a player.

Kim,

I need you to bring it down a little.

Baby.

Baby, I thought that was dope.

Shorty, I'm trying to work here. I know, and I love the way you work.

then you have to respect it when I'm doing it.

No, not only do I respect it, but I want to be a part of it.

What do you mean?

Well, I want to sing backup for you, too.

Okay, everybody take five.

What's all about, kid? I told you, baby, I want to sing backup.

But you can't sing.

Yeah, I can. You should hear me in the shower.

As much as I appreciate the visual, this is not the shower.

Here's a copy of the lyrics, Kim. Why don't you give Mo a chance?

Yes.

Yeah, why don't I?

Look,

man, this is not going to work. Okay, if Mo's in, I'm walking. Then walk.

Why do you have to get so serious?

Okay, bye, let's do this.

Mo, you share the mic with Shaina. Oh, Pete, don't you see? At first it's share

the mic, then it's her mic.

Kim, why don't you just, um, how do you say it?

Chill.

All right, y 'all, let's try this from the top, all right?

He's a player.

He's a player.

He's a player.

Stop. He's a player.

Okay, a little flat.

Oh, no, baby, all I need is something cold. It'll be fine. Uh -uh, cold

your voice.

Oh, give it to it. It might help.

and cold will clear up my throat.

Missy, would you please give me something cold to drink? Thank you.

How about I get you some tallow?

Okay,

I'm

ready.

Here we go.

I don't know, man. I can't just chump my wolf. She's my girl. How came you do

it? You ain't got nothing to lose.

Nothing to lose?

Man, you do the math.

365 times three meals a day?

That's... You do the math.

Yeah, and start with subtraction because you need to get rid of mo, Mr.

Producer. Mm -hmm.

Yeah, y 'all right.

It's on me.

How you gonna break it to her, Q?

I'ma just tell her.

We're doing a demo tomorrow.

When we're really going to do it tonight.

What am I hearing?

You stand.

One, two, three.

Know each other.

The twist and the twirl.

Legs in place. Faith out of this world.

Walking real fast, but I'm a bust, my youth.

Can I park my ride, get out and talk to you? I'll let you know my name if you

let me know yours.

Uprise is my click drink for doing tours.

You said you in the rush and you ain't disgust.

Complimenting on your beauty, you too bad to blush.

What am I?

He's a player.

What, what?

He's a player.

jiggy right there. Now we're going to lay this one down back so we can get

Yeah, I made this back so it's right.

Uh -huh. I ain't doing any more fool runs.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

I thought we told you to keep the door locked.

I thought you knew I wasn't getting paid.

I could have sworn that we would land a demo down tomorrow.

Good thing I ran into your dad or we would have lost the whole day.

Yeah, good thing.

I figured out what was wrong with your song, so I changed it to fit my brain.

Oh, so now we're all singing one note?

Hey, Q, you need a five?

At least.

Look, Shorty, the song stays the same, all right?

But you didn't even look at the changes that I made. I don't have to. I'm the

producer, and nothing changes unless I change it.

Oh, now I... while you shaved your head to make more room for your ego.

This is getting good. Nisha, make some popcorn.

It's not about my ego, Moesha. Then what is it about, Quentin?

It's about you coming in here trying to disrespect me as a producer.

You come in here changing stuff, ignoring directions, drinking cold

does that have to do with it? You know what I'm saying? This is not working.

But you know what? It could.

I'm sure we can figure out a way to work this out where we both can be heard.

The only way I want to hear you is in the background, singing.

Excuse me?

It's my way or the highway.

How about the runway? Because I'm jetting.

Okay, y 'all, let's start from the top.

Honey, if you keep going so fast, you're going to ruin the texture of the wall.

If you don't hurry up, you're going to ruin the texture of my weekend.

Well, thank goodness Michelangelo didn't have your attitude.

Shoot, if Michelangelo had my attitude and this bad boy, he could have finished

the other two ceilings.

Frank, honey, you are just slapping paint on the wall.

Well, it's either the wall or you.

I said that... Oh, no, no, no.

Dee, baby, I'm sorry. That was a mistake, I swear.

And so was... Oh,

yeah.

So you want to start with the big dogs, huh?

We'll take some of that.

And that. Oh, you want to get into it, don't you?

It's just not working.

Come on, Hakeem. It's open mic night. Get up there and do your thing.

Do I get a piece of the gate?

How about a piece of my foot?

And Dale, listen. I've been produced, okay? And I can't perform without

with my label.

Label? What label is that?

Reloader? Angry?

Blacker?

So we still cool, right?

No.

We need to talk.

Listen.

Obviously, we can't be in a relationship and work together.

So I've decided I'd rather be in a relationship.

Which do you prefer?

The one where we don't work together.

I missed you.

Did you miss me?

Yeah, sure. You're all that. All that.

Come on, Chyna. You can sing, girl. Help me out.

Okay. Only if Kim and Mo back me up. Huh?

Yes.

You and her. Come on. It's your time.

If you can't keep up, then I might have to drink something cold, you know, in

order to hang.

Madam?

Can you start the music, please?

of couples who work well together.

Bill and Hillary, Ozzie and Ruby, Siegfried and Roy.

Then there's the flip side.

Charles and Di, Daddy and Dee, and Q and me.

But that's okay because there are plenty of other things we can do together.

Steve Lamar.