Original subtitles

I'm not superstitious. That's why when I got a chain letter, it really annoyed

me. Of course, people like my grandmother are always saying, don't

fate because fate doesn't like to be tempted.

That woman is forever spending on brooms, knocking on wood, and slipping

under somebody's pillow. And if that doesn't work, she'll call a conju woman

a Mississippi minute.

But me, see, I call them myself.

I believe you make your own luck.

You want something to happen, you make it happen.

So as far as the chain letter, I burned it.

This is Theo on the radio.

Check it out. The next time you hear me bump California love, I'm going to

sprinkle you with 109 dead presidents because it's all about that love, unity,

respect, and erasing the color lines.

What are you listening to that talk radio for?

Ma, you touch my radio breath, I'm going to pop you.

Pop me, pop me, pop me, pop me, pop me, pop me. Miles, what are you doing?

Are you auditioning for a beatdown?

Moesha, what have I told you about teasing your brother?

Yeah, you know I'm sensitive.

Then you ought to feel this. Gee,

Mo's trying to hit me.

Moesha, please, leave him alone.

It ain't over, Uncle Tom, son.

Hold up, Dee. I'm trying to win me $109.

You know I'm trying to get a car.

Mo, I have told you before, we do not allow any R &B, hip -hop, East Coast,

Coast, old school, new school, preschool at the table.

It is not all good.

Mo, who is this nameless number for?

For you.

And who might it be from?

My psychic friend.

I think it was, uh...

me help you out. Just dial it, and when somebody answers, ask them who they are.

Mo, if I have asked you once, I have asked you a thousand times. Please, take

complete message.

Dee, I'm sorry about the message, okay? No, it is not okay. And while we're on

the subject, Moesha, why are you still locking your bedroom door?

Dee, last week you said I could.

Well, that was then. This is now. I've changed my mind.

Then why don't we just wait till next week to see if you change your mind

Good morning.

And how is my family doing?

Frank, please ask Moesha to take the lock off of her bedroom door.

Moesha, take the lock off your bedroom door.

Then tell Mouth to stop messing with my CDs and stuff.

Mouth, stop messing with her CDs and stuff.

I don't mess with your CDs and stuff. Yes, you do. You're always touching

everything. Don't touch me, boy.

I'm not touching you.

I'm not touching you.

I'm not touching you. I'll stop it.

Morning, me familiar.

Hey, man, what's happening?

Sorry I'm late.

Late? Hakeem, you're not exactly scheduled to eat here every morning.

Well, according to my Franklin planner, I am.

If I mail this chain letter, you think I'd get lucky? Maybe Hakeem will move

away. Frank, you didn't tell me you got a chain letter. What's wrong with it? I

got one, too.

I got one, too, but relax. Nothing's gonna happen.

What does it say, Frank?

Well, in order to maintain the balance between positive and negative forces, I

have to mail five copies of this letter within 48 hours or run the risk of

complete and utter destruction of life as I know it.

No biggie.

Let's mail it right now. Oh, come on, you guys. You can't really believe in

voodoo stuff. Sure do, Scrappy -Doo.

In Jamaica, we have an old saying.

You can't explain what you can't explain.

Excuse me, Miss Mitch, but can you explain that?

There was this old man who was always gossiping about his wife.

Clock, clock, clocking. Me wife did this and me wife did that.

Well... One day, the wife, she got tired of hearing all the gossip from the

neighbors. So, she merch herself right up to get some herbs and stuff and

from the Obia woman.

Obia woman?

Yeah, the Obia woman. That's the Jamaican version of a conjure woman. Oh,

Yeah, like Rafiki and Lion King. Yeah, I got that.

As I was saying.

She took the said same herbs, and she sprinkled them on some jerk chicken, and

she fed the jerk chicken to her husband.

Well, me dears, when he woke up the next morning, his mouth was shaped

just like a chicken beak.

Well said, Mr. Mitch. You ready for kinkos? I'm with you, my fine -feathered

friend. Oh, let me take care of these lettuce for you, Chickadee and

Be sure not to walk on any ladders.

I get better service from the post office. I order a box of natural fig

and you bring me pig feet?

Instead of fat -free sugar cones, you bring me five pounds of neck bones?

Hector, what's up?

I don't know what happened, Adele. When I loaded the truck this morning, this

was yogurt.

Oh, yeah. What is it, the pork at the bottom kind?

Just give me my stuff, Hector. I'm expecting a huge crowd tonight.

With the kind of vibe you got in here, you'd be lucky to draw flies.

When I leave the pig feet, I hear they like those.

I'll make it real clear for you. Tu negocio esta embrujada.

Oh, oh, see? Hector, you picked the wrong day to go bilingual on me. No, I'm

telling you, Wendell, there's something weird going on here.

The only thing weird is that you're still standing here. Not for long. I'm

It's been out of order since this morning.

Well, can I use your private phone?

If you came strapped with a tool belt.

Does anything work around here? The brand muffins, but I wouldn't try it

the plumber won't be here for an hour. He's backed up.

Well, just bring me a smoothie.

One lumpy coming up because the blender is broke, too.

fool sent me a chain letter.

Probably the same fool who sent me mine. But I burnt it.

What's up with y 'all?

You burned a chain letter? Yeah, girl.

You burned toast. You burned rubber. You can't even burn Andre Rosenthal.

But you never, never, never burn a chain letter.

Who's crazy enough to burn a chain letter?

Now, don't tell me you believe in them two in there.

How you think I got this place?

Four years ago, I got one.

I sent my letters out. The next week, I get hit by a car.

And what's good about that?

It was a rose.

Great, so you mailed the one I sent you. I mean, the one that fool sent you.

I knew that envelope smelled of swap -me summer lilies.

Girl, don't be mad at me. I just want to good luck for the people I love.

Hold on. I never got a chain letter.

Well, you should have got it. I sent it a couple of days ago.

Okay, let me think.

Okay, the mailman came around noon.

Oh, was it Dwayne?

Oh, yeah, and he had the tight little shorts on.

And he had his sleeves rolled up, his bicep was just bold.

It was a little hot. I offered him this banana boom smoothie to cool off. Then I

accidentally knocked the mail off. Oh, and then what?

See, you ain't growing folks' business.

Oh, I must have dropped it on the floor.

It's not here. Then where could it be?

You guys, it's not a big deal. It's just a stupid chain letter.

I'll tell you what the big deal is. I had a girlfriend who broke the chain,

in one week she lost her car, her job, and her man.

So what are you worried about? You can't lose your job because you own this

place. You don't have a car because the mug is always broke. And we all know you

don't have... You don't know what I have.

People, come on back to Earth now. Come on back.

You know what?

It does not mean a thing. It's just a chain letter.

I tried to break my people off with a little good luck, but no, you didn't

it. It's on you now.

Hey, what's up, Adam's family?

Apparently a free food flag.

What's for dinner?

The same.

they're serving down at the mission.

Oh, so it's like that now, huh?

It's been like that, bro.

So why don't you just raise up on out of here, huh?

Gee, would you leave that boy alone and bring me my food? Why does the woman

have to always bring the food? No, you're right. Girl, you bring me my

Why are you picking on Moe? Because I sold two cars today.

Oh, terrible me. I guess I'm the bad seed, huh?

Oh, you got that right. Because they brought him back before I could get out

door. And why, you might ask?

Because you, little missy, destroyed my chain list.

I had nothing to do with it. Maybe you just lost your touch.

Nah, nah, nah.

Maybe you lost your mind when you ripped up that letter.

I ripped up Hakeem's letter. Nothing bad happened to him. Oh, yes, it did.

Kim invited me out on a date, and I said yes. Okay, so maybe you did have a

little bad luck, but it had nothing to do with that letter. Well, something

happened to me, and I didn't even get a chain letter.

What, Miles?

I got to hold the screwdriver for Dee when she yanked the lock off Moe's door.

Dee, I told you to talk to the child before you took that lock off. What if

there's a fire?

Yeah, I'm cool.

What's going on between you two?

No. No, really?

No, I'm serious. All I did was send out all my chain letters, and boom, I got my

baby.

Y 'all are crazy.

I'm going to find out how to win this contest money before the world comes to

end.

the money, the contest thing.

Are you in school?

Yes. Are you getting good grades?

Of course.

Then it's all good. You're already a winner.

Theo, we should get this thing started. The crowd is starting to get aggravated.

I'm sorry, Andell. I can't find the power cord.

I know I brought it because I loaded it myself.

This is crazy.

You mean all this weird stuff that's going on around here?

No. That I'm making all this money and I'm still loading my own equipment.

Hey, Theo.

How you doing?

You know, I was just wondering, you know, do you really believe in erasing

color lines?

Color lines, yeah.

Age lines, no.

Look, I brought you your stuff, but I'm not going inside.

You got bad vibes.

Well, you have bad vibes. too if you had a hundred hungry teenagers at your

place? No, I'd have an eviction notice.

I'm not going in there till you clean the air.

Victor, this is L .A. The air ain't gonna never be clean.

I don't mean clean, clean.

You need a curandera.

What's a curandera?

Someone that chases away the evil spirits. Look, her name is Señora

Call her. I beg you.

I got this covered. Look, I got a four -leaf clover.

I got my garlic.

I got my craw.

Yeah, that's fine if you've got an interview with a vampire.

But you need to put on data.

Call her.

Hector, I'm all right.

Hey, y 'all.

I found the power cord.

Hector, come back!

Okay, help is on the way.

Well, I don't need any help. I have it right here. Right, Kimmy?

Like Timmy.

That's it. I'm out of here.

Hey, hey, wait.

Be patient and sit.

You and Del.

I'm real sorry that the power's out. I'm real sorry that the people are gone.

And I'm real sorry the remote didn't happen.

But it's all good.

You know, Theo, it will be.

Thanks for coming.

I'll see you on the radio.

Sindor Cordova? And you must be Andel.

Hector was right.

There is an abundance of negative energy in here.

Oh, you mean all the weird stuff that's been going on?

I need two glasses of water.

Oh, sorry, the water doesn't work.

So what's up with the tree lady?

I see long lines and darkness in your life.

You're picking up the vibes from my mom. Yeah, she worked down at the concession

stand at the Magic Johnson Theater.

Ooh, that's freaky. Tell me something about me.

He doesn't really want to.

Move on.

Oh, see, she don't know what she talking about.

Ooh, she's down on point to me. Y 'all are tripping. This is somebody's grandma

trying to make some extra money.

I don't do this for money.

Harmony.

In the home, follow tolerance and acceptance.

Unlock your door and let your loved ones in.

Everyone, come over here and join hands.

And ain't nobody going over here.

Or you can stay over there with the evil spirit.

ancient good character shows itself.

Repeat after me.

Through kindness, truth, and giving honor and respect to our

elders. Through kindness, truth, and giving honor and respect to

our elders.

Believing in that which is good and positive.

Believing in that which is good.

I will always strive to have good character.

I will always strive to have good character.

That's it. That's it.

No.

That's it.

I'm done.

Well, all righty then.

I can't!

I gotta sign me another chain letter.

You better not.

Yo, Andell, was that for real?

Hey, I choose to believe.

Miles, I want you to come over here and hold my hand.

I'm sorry, Mo. I cannot be involved in another chain -letter desecration.

Look, Mo, what is this all about? Mr. Mitch, some super fly natural stuff.

my life.

Please, Daddy. I'm trying to remove all the negative energy from the house. Now,

can we please just join hands?

All right.

Okay.

According to the ancients, good character shows itself in the following

Repeat after me.

Through kindness, truth, Giving honor and respect to our elders.

Through kindness, truth, and giving honor and respect to our elders.

Believe in that which is good and positive.

I will always strive to have good character.

That's it.

That's it.

Seems things around here are back to normal.

Dee put the lock back on my door. Daddy is selling cars again.

Miles is still Miles.

And Hakeem claims he doesn't remember what Kim says she'll never forget.

But as for me, I'm not sure what happened.

I guess this is when it gets down to what you believe in.

Because as Dee says, you can't explain what you can't explain.

I almost forgot.

Niecy won that radio contest.

Mmm.