Original subtitles

Thank you.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

Okay? Yeah, Thursday.

And then what?

I don't know.

Well, where will he go?

Like the address?

He hasn't said.

Well, I've got to have an address, haven't I?

I'll get it for you. Don't worry.

I mean, he owes me.

Yes, I'm sure.

Everybody owes you.

I suppose so.

We've got a pay rise in the pipeline.

Oh, yes.

What are you, the shop steward?

As it happens, I'm on the committee.

I'm one of the spokesmen.

Yes, I'm sure.

Well, speak to me on the phone about the address, all right?

It's your birthday.

Again.

Persian rugs.

Right. Job well?

Oh, well, no. I mean, they're not your actual Persian rugs. I mean, they're

manufactured in Belgium.

Well, at least they're foreign. Last time you were selling Chinese pottery,

was made in Acme.

So what? Your granny loved it.

You see, your average punter wouldn't know a ding if it was staring him in the

face. Mr Daly?

That depends.

Business? Might be.

Ernie Dodds.

Eh? He needs a favour.

Ernie Dodds?

I thought he was dead.

Nah, he comes out next Thursday.

Cheer up. Old Ernie. And I do mean old.

How long's it been?

Fourteen years, in fact. Oh, dear, oh, dear. I was just a lad.

You, er... You just out?

Not me.

I've got another ten years, yeah?

What?

What I think he means is he's a good, honest group.

He's got another ten years to go before his pension.

Just an errand boy, aren't you, son?

Filling up your piggy bank.

Sort of.

Well, that's all right, son. I mean, we've all got to earn a crust, haven't

Exactly.

In fact, er...

Ernie did say you'd give me a bit of a drink. Me?

No, I hardly knew him.

Ernie reckons you're a real pal.

One of the best, he said.

What does he want?

He just wants you to be outside eight o 'clock Thursday with a car.

The last bloke was outside with a car. I ended up inside.

Everybody makes mistakes, Mr Daly.

Do you remember why Ernie had such a long stretch?

He got away with a quarter of a million pounds.

Even in those years, it was a big tickle.

And they never recovered a penny piece.

Weren't he also done for attempted murder? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll fill you

about that later, Terence.

Thursday. That's right.

And he did say you... Oh, yeah, I know. You want a drink, a double?

Double fifty.

That's a bit strong, isn't it?

That's what Ernie said.

He said you'd get it back in a couple of days.

It's a drink, Terry.

Arthur Daly's going to meet him outside the neck.

Oh, yeah?

With Daly in it?

Don't make me laugh.

Arthur is a lovable rogue, as they say. Oh, yes, he'd like to get his hands on

some of the money, but he wouldn't cross earn it. Now, I want that money. I'm

due for that.

You always say I, Mr Billings. Oh,

sorry, we.

Partners, eh?

Well, obviously I need you.

Not quite as nippy as in the old days.

You're not, are you?

Bring the tools in, will you?

It's a bit duffy in here. Can we talk outside?

Why not?

What makes you so sure the money's still around?

Oh, I know.

Simple, eh?

Very clever old Ernie.

Always a loner, didn't trust anybody.

I know.

Why, didn't he try to break out all the time?

And when I was the senior officer on that case, I hadn't put up a deal to

And do you know what he said?

Mr Billings, he said, I shall have a beautiful pension for the rest of my

and you, superintendent, with your pension, you'll have to work part -time.

And he was right as well.

I'm going to sell some of these vegetables.

Ernie reckons that you've fitted him up.

Yeah. I won, didn't I? Even had a judge's commendation.

Oh, it's a long time now.

Ernie remembers as well.

You must mean all right, little scallywag in a bath.

Well, I had a reputation.

As what?

I knew people. Lots of people.

People like Ernie.

Top man.

When Ernie told people, they jumped.

And you were one of them who jumped, were you? What, me?

No, not me.

Oh, he's a wicked man, though. Very funny.

Funny? Call him funny? He tried to murder a geezer.

It was just high spirits when he was a lad.

Oh, fine. That's all right, isn't it?

Anyway, he was innocent. Everyone knew that.

Now, Ernie, see, he's got the mark of Cain.

Eh?

The Bible.

Cain.

Like Michael?

Yeah.

Same night, different fella.

You remember when you came out?

Yeah, I remember.

No bother, you said.

You were a right little jackal, lad.

You see, you were nothing, really.

I mean, Ernie, Ernie's a sort of celebrity.

Oh, that's not him.

No.

Oh, my God, it is.

My dear old friend Ernie, you look great, really great.

Yeah, this is Terry, my dear old pal.

Terry, shake hands with Ernie Dodd. Hello, mate. Let Terry take that. Yeah,

look after the budgie.

What are you talking about?

Budgie, is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Well, it ain't, see?

That's the common bullfit, or the European pirara pirouala. Yeah, of

is, Terry.

Which seems like a budgie to me.

Well, it ain't.

Right, there we go.

Ha, ha, ha.

Clocking the birds, Ernie.

Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?

He's beautiful.

Yeah, no trouble at all, is he?

I had him for months.

Really? I nursed him, I tended him, I meditated, broke the wing.

You all saw the film?

You've been funny.

No, there was film about it, wasn't there?

I don't know anything about that.

There's a geezer in it.

Big fella, lots of teeth. Burt Lancaster, that's the one.

You looking fit, Ernie?

Yeah.

What was all that about?

That was a load of rubbish.

Clothes? I don't want anything from them.

I went in there wearing a nice suit, and I came out wearing the same suit.

Sod them.

Yeah, you're quite right, Ernie. Why not? That suit's come back into fashion

now.

Yeah, that's 14 years old.

That's what I mean. All wearing suits like that now.

Ah, you're always a snappy dresser, Ernie.

What's that?

Well, come on, and where do we want to go?

Hampstead.

Isle Point in London.

Oh, dear old London.

You was always a romantic, Ernie.

What's that?

What did you miss most, Ernie?

I mean, being away, you missed, well, you missed miniskirts.

Oh, and a fellow went to the moon, but there was nothing there.

Then there was the music.

Well, no, you couldn't call that stuff music. You wouldn't have liked that.

Oh, little Cliffy Richard's still around.

Still a bachelor boy.

Then there was a three -day week, digital clocks, Muhammad Ali.

Oh, and I believe there's something called VAT, but you don't want to worry

yourself about that.

All in all, that was the 60s and 70s for you.

I've seen the newspapers, you know.

Oh, I'm only marking your card, Ernie.

I mean, Chelsea were up and down like a yo -yo.

Oh, three -speed, and the scrub's not bleeding Devil's Island.

I'm better informed than you, probably.

Never mind the newspapers.

I read books.

Lots of books.

Yeah, I know, I know.

You always liked the book, even in the old days.

Did I?

Er, where, erm... Where are you thinking of living, Ernie?

Got any ideas?

Ooh, flats on Velly aren't to come by. Didn't you have a sister down Croydon

Way? How do I know?

I haven't seen her since my old mother's funeral in 1952.

God, better.

No other relatives?

Look, Arthur, I'm not asking for lodging.

Ernie, please. My home is your own.

The thing is, it's a tiny little flat.

Kids growing up, you know.

Sure.

Pretty you didn't have kids, didn't you?

It'd be nice if you had a daughter with a place in the country.

Yeah, well, I haven't.

See, the thing is, I haven't told her indoors about you staying.

Forget it.

Hey, you, whatever your name is.

Terry. Yeah, Terry.

What do you need?

Bring the cage.

Nice manner, this, isn't it?

Yeah.

Now, I think I'll stay in a big hotel, something flash and comfortable.

Oh, that's nice.

And you've earned it.

And you've got the money, I imagine.

I've got plenty.

Don't worry about me.

What do you reckon? Would he make it?

Oh, he'll be all right when he finds his mates.

Well, he's going now, he'll end up back at the scrubs.

I had lots of good times with him.

Oh, yeah?

What was his name?

Name?

He's a bird.

Are you stupid or something? He's not a fella.

Sorry?

Yeah.

Right, off to West End to get some gear.

You got any money?

Yeah, obviously.

How much?

Well, about 450.

All right, give us the 450.

Yeah, but... Well, you'll get it back, Arthur, in three days.

I'm going to need you, fellas. I've still got some enemies, you know.

You only never.

Always a very highly respected man.

Well, rivals.

Yeah, not now. I mean, a few unfriendly people, but most of them... Either dead

or retired by now.

That's what you should think about, Ernie, retiring.

Me? Yeah.

I mean, you get your pension, free bus pass, nice little place in Southend or

Marbella, nice little lobby.

Ah, shut up, Arthur.

No, he's right, Ernie. You ought to think about putting your feet up.

Who are you?

What am I, an old fellow or something?

Eh, what do you want me to be, a lollipop man, is that it?

I've just served 14 years.

I tried to escape three times.

I was in solitary for years. I wore yellow patches on my sleeve at most of

sentence. No parole for me, son.

No, but they didn't break me.

Ernie dodged his back, and there's a few old scores to settle.

There.

Game little bleeder, isn't he?

Yeah, he's game all right.

But what sort of game?

Actually, that's not bad, is it?

Yeah, look at the price. Put it down.

Do you remember George Raft?

Scarface.

How do I look? The business, Ernie, the business.

No one would ever think he was a gangster, would they?

Look at your gear.

You look like one of them joggers.

You're quite right, Ernie. I keep telling him to get a nice suit.

Very nice, sir. You think it was made for you, sir?

I'll take it. Thank you, sir. Account customer, sir? No, cash, young man.

And how about a discount? Say, ten percent?

I'm sorry, sir.

Yeah, so am I.

Top hotel.

No pyjamas, no dressing gown.

The man's right, you know.

Oh, well, I've got a bit left.

He can get them.

Terry, you all right? Terry?

Yeah, yeah, Terry.

Black pyjamas, size 40. Got that?

I think I can remember 40.

What about the dressing gown, Black?

Naturally. I'll get receipts.

Naturally.

I'll tell you what else you didn't get.

Nice belt.

Crocodile or something, with a nice gold buckle. Ain't gold.

Gold plate, then.

I like it. In time, I get to like you too, Terry.

I'm a little diamond, mate.

Diamonds. It's the final speech, Arthur.

I need some walking about money, Arthur, you know.

Petty cat.

Look, Ernie, I'm not saying you won't give it back, but when do you expect to

get your money?

Three days.

Oh, I see. It's in the country, is it?

It's in the bank.

The bank?

Yeah. I thought you nicked it from a bank in the first place.

And I put it in another bank.

I don't believe it.

Yeah, it's in a deposit account.

That's why I have to give prior notice of three days before I get it out.

All that dough and interest.

And I've always said, you know, this country's got one of the finest banking

systems in the world. Yeah, your Swiss bank account is all very well, but

there's nothing wrong with the old lady and friend in the industry.

Ah.

No one ever gave me any papers.

That's true, Spencer.

He was better than most so -called friends.

Never trust a villain, eh, Arthur? No.

The code of the underworld?

There's a joke for you.

Ron Grundy grasped me.

Some guy was going to get me a motor lawn.

Ten grand.

Never saw him.

And I bought the car off you.

Me? Yeah.

Dame there.

990 quid. Oh, yeah, as it happens, that murder I remember now. I got a very

small margin of profit on that car.

A few pennies over the book price.

Now, it's peanuts, Arthur.

Some other guy had an aeroplane. He was going to drive me to Belgium.

I waited in the field in ethics.

Then he never showed up.

The money was dwindling away.

Plastic surgery?

Well, you think I haven't tried that?

Top man, so they told me.

You know, I don't think he ever touched me.

You remember in them days I had a moustache?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know what he done?

On my life, he shaved the moustache off and I looked more like me than I was

before.

Arley Street, was it?

I wasn't doing it on the national health, was I?

That was 20 grand extra.

20? That much?

Top your glass up, Arthur. Here, I think I will.

You see, I mean, I couldn't hide it under the floorboards.

It didn't have a room, never mind a floor.

And I couldn't trust Beryl.

Ah, dear old Beryl.

What ever happened to her?

She went to Rhodesia. She thought it was a real white country.

Anyway, I thought and I thought.

I was odds on for capture, you know.

And then I had the idea.

I'll put the rest of the money in the bank.

Clever, wasn't it?

Amazing. What about references?

Nah. When you're taking money out, they need references.

But they're not so clever when you're putting money in.

Excuse me.

You must be Terry.

And you must be DePaul's car.

You're not that lucky.

Can I have a little word with you?

Of course you can.

Hold on, that ain't your husband, is it?

Look inside the car.

That's my father, Ren Grundy.

Well, he's got a very lovely daughter.

And she's got a lot of expensive habits.

Like what?

I had a very deprived childhood.

My father was away for a long time.

So was mine, but he didn't buy me nice motors like that.

I'm a hard -working girl.

Oh.

I think perhaps you and I ought to have a little cocktail, Terry.

Why?

Proposition.

Sexual, I hope.

You never know.

I was thinking of something else.

No, the thing is, I'm a bit busy at the moment.

A couple of minutes?

You see, I can't stand the company of screws.

Just me and you.

My name's Kate.

You're all right, Kate.

You stay with my father.

You can sit in the car.

You'd like that.

Top. No, no, no, I'll get it.

How much?

£1 .52, please, sir. There you go. Top.

No, Mr. McCain.

No, I don't know. I thought we were going to have a private little chat.

Hello, McCain.

No, I don't know you, pal, but I get the message.

We've all got the same way of talking.

Sorry about that.

Retired.

No, I don't want to know. Terry, you're stupid.

Oh, that's right.

At least hear us out.

Come on.

All right, I'm sitting comfortably.

Begin.

Yeah. You're not a friend of Bertie Dodds, are you? I mean, you don't owe

anything. Different generation.

And what do you get, a monkey?

An Arthur, a grand maybe?

Services rendered.

We're talking about real money.

You going to nick his dough?

Not nick.

There's plenty enough for everybody.

My dad didn't get a penny and he was on the job.

And what about you, mister?

Willings is the name.

Well, you could say I was associated with the case.

And super screw out there?

Our junior partner, he's very close to earning.

Well, what we've got here is more like a consortium.

Oh, like one of them big oil companies, eh?

Oh, sort of. We're exploring for money.

Why don't you just leave him alone? He's done his time, hasn't he?

I'm surprised about you, Terry. You could be a rich man.

Oh, how's that?

You could be the man on the inside.

I could be the man right inside.

Thieving from a thief.

You're right, little charmer, aren't you?

Going to make a lovely mum.

Terry, don't be an idiot.

We're going to get that money one way or another. If you're around, it just

makes it more difficult, that's all.

That's all.

What are you going to do?

There are four of us.

What, two old -age pensioners?

You, super screw?

Oh, we're surrounded, are we?

Terry.

Get on the right side.

Your side?

Yeah.

Give my number. We don't need the other.

You're a right little fighter, aren't you?

Will you call me?

Got your number and all.

Knocked him up while he waited, did I?

Well, obviously I had to get the best gear, didn't I?

You having a little moriarty?

Yeah, after a champers. Yeah, cheers.

Ah, nice.

You've got taste.

Wouldn't have believed it.

He's a nutty dresser, isn't he?

Receipts. Oh, yes, yes.

What?

get that stuff.

Libidus, you can say that again.

Well, you said yourself, top man, ain't he?

Pajamas? You'd get a three -piece suite for that.

Not here, you couldn't.

I couldn't get him dodgy smarter, could I?

Oh, dear.

What?

Here

we

are, then.

Handsome, isn't it?

Amazing.

He's very nice. He's got an eye for a dressing gown, is Terry.

Oh, listen, do you know a geezer called Grundy?

What about him? He's downstairs.

I'll throttle him.

Don't get out your pram.

That's it, Ernie. Sit down and have a little drink.

What's the strength, Terry?

There's four of them.

And they want his dough, or some of it.

And Billings? He put me inside.

And there's Spencer the screw.

Who else?

Er, Grundy's daughter, Kate.

We don't need to think about her.

Do you want to bet?

It's like Bonnie and Clyde, it is.

What, both of them?

Yeah. With a bit of Mark Barger thrown in as well.

Yes, I turn up.

I can see him.

Grundy.

He's got old now.

You got a shooter?

No, I haven't even got a steel comb.

Pity. I could kill him from here. No, no, Ernie.

Ah, just a joke.

What are you worried about?

I like a fight.

We don't want any of that, thank you.

You're right.

Forget him.

Tomorrow we go to the bank and then we'll sort him out.

John Graham.

What's he there?

Ever thought of that, Terence? Nice little pension fund account?

What with?

Money. Open a bank account.

All sorts of facilities on a bank like this.

Here's the only one for you.

What is that?

Death benefits and wills.

See, he has got what you have not got.

Respect.

Probably even remember his name.

Please, no, no.

I meant his non -deputable name.

What's happened to old Mr Knight?

Oh, he retired a few years ago.

Now, I understand from my clerk that you used to have a deposit account here.

That's right, still have.

AG 273341.

Yeah, well, there might be a slight misunderstanding.

I'll just check the figures.

Oh, yes.

Money in the bank, as they say.

Prudence, Terence. That is the name of the game.

Nice little nest egg.

With the money you get me, I can't even afford an Easter egg.

Well, if you will go clubbing and birding all the time, eh?

Well, poor Getty didn't go gallivanting round his manor, did he? He was in his

room looking at paintings, reading books.

Telephoning his bank manager, buying an oil well.

Have your own bank.

Yeah, I mean, look at this. Look, they even arrange your traveller's cheques

you.

They take those in Bodmer.

You may scoff, my son, but if you'll have a bank account, you'll have

Nice cheque book.

It'll be a plastic.

And how come you never take cheques, eh?

How come it's always got to be cash, money in the hand?

Because that is business. Everyone knows that, don't they? A bit of your folding

green stuff.

I am talking about stateless, Terry.

I mean, look, look, can you beat that?

We are even open when we are closed.

That is handy, isn't it?

Well, sir, unless our records are wrong, and I'm pretty sure about our records,

apparently you closed the account in 1975.

Closed the account?

What the hell are you talking about?

As I say, in 1975.

I don't want to know anything about 1975.

I've never taken a bloody penny out of this account.

But the clerk has just looked at the records.

Records?

126 grand? All right, Mr Graham, just wait a minute.

Check the figures again.

A .G.

Now, look, that is marvellous. They even have branches where you can drive in

and get your dough without getting out your motor.

Take away.

Cash and carry, isn't it?

It is handy, that. Don't even need a good wheels man, do you?

No, that is what I call consumer service.

What about the punters who ain't got a car?

Punters who ain't got... People like that shouldn't have bank accounts in the

first place, should they?

As I said before, we're talking about status.

I'm quite sure there's been no irregularity. I put all my money in your

right? Now you tell me it's gone.

So somebody must have nicked it.

You say nicked?

Yes, nicked.

Well, if that's the case, we must call the police.

No, no, no, I don't like the police.

I really won't.

When did old Mr. Knight retire?

I hope you're not suggesting.

But was it about the time when I terminated my account with this bank?

Mr. Knight was a fine servant of the bank.

Was? Well, he died two years ago on a golfing holiday in Portugal.

I could give that a bit of credit.

Thieves! Thieves, you people!

You're thieves!

Thieves, you're all of it!

Thieves! Thieves!

You're all of it!

Ernie!

Uh, he forgot to sign his standing order.

What's the matter, Ernie? They've turned me over.

Ooh.

They've done me like a kid for it, haven't they? Ooh, not the bank. Banks

do things like that.

They bloody well do.

Let's just simmer down and get him over, all right? All right? Look, look, I've

gone off you again.

Sorry.

Don't let him get away.

Uh, no, no, hold on. This is no time for a conference.

Just a minute.

No, he's had a bit of a shock.

We all have. Got it.

That's flat.

Like life.

Hundreds of them. What?

Nights, nights.

Bloody nights.

What were you going to do anyway?

Find the widow.

Then what?

Say, excuse me, did your husband die two years ago and did he say anything about

a pot of paint?

You've got a better idea.

Susan.

Give him a bung.

I still can't believe it. I mean, the bank manager.

Are you sure, Ernie, you didn't tell somebody about the account?

They stand it, John.

That bill's well over the top.

Oh, God, £224 .82p plus VAT?

Ah, forget it. We can always duck out of that. Oh, can we?

You put my address on the register, remember?

Ah, well, it's not all that.

I mean, it's not all that.

£224?

82p plus... Don't you start.

That's flat.

I don't care. From now on, I'll be drinking bathwater.

This is all down to me, isn't it? Don't worry, you'll get it back.

Just a minute, just a minute. All bets are cancelled. Don't touch that thing.

Do you know what it costs to use a dog and bone here?

You could have a week in Brighton for just darling Tim.

Terence, retrieve the instrument.

Oh, sorry, son.

For once, Arthur's right.

He certainly is.

Now, I suggest you pack up your expensive pyjamas, courtesy of Big

Terry, and all the other gear, and we move out of this deluxe establishment

some humbler gaff.

And where do you suggest?

His little place.

My... Oh, no.

I'm sorry, no, no. I've got a bit of, you know, tonight. I don't care if

got a bit of a you -know. With Miss World, Raquel Welsh, and the entire

Gold Pipers, tonight, Ernie is your house guest.

Grundy! I'm warning you, I'm going to chin you, little man. Leave him, I don't

care. You shut up as well.

Mr Dodds, my father is entitled to his cut.

Cut? I'll cut his ears. Look, look, just get hold of your old man. Ernie and me

are going. Come on. We're talking about money.

That's a laugh. What money?

That's right. Shut up, all the world. Just get in, eh, son?

I don't believe you.

Oi, are you deaf or something?

Then you hear the man, the dole, gone.

Terry, don't you let her hurt them clothes.

Yeah, Ernie reckons that Mr Knight did a runner.

Who? Mr Knight.

The bank manager.

Should have left it with the Woolies, shouldn't he?

At least we've got a name, eh?

So what?

Well, I've still got some old friends, you know.

Want to go out later?

No.

What, down to Boozer?

Yeah.

Got any books?

Yeah, I've got a few paperbacks floating about.

Natural history?

No, no, I ain't got any of that.

Best crimes of the century.

You trying to be funny?

Yeah.

Here you go.

Grub.

I'm not hungry.

That's nice, isn't it? First you want a bacon sarnie. Just leave me alone.

Are you all right?

I will.

You're not exactly a bundle of laughs, are you?

Where are you going?

Well, look, it happened. I had arranged to meet a Richard.

You're sleeping on a spare bed, which happens to be the sofa. She's not too

on you clocking the action.

Neither am I.

Well, I don't care.

Well, I'm bleeding, too.

Anyway, I phoned her.

Where are you going?

Look, Ernie, you don't want to eat, you don't want to go out, you don't want to

talk.

I'll come in with you.

Long old time, 14 years, isn't it?

Yeah.

But don't pity me, right?

Now, you're going to behave yourself, aren't you? Yes.

You didn't hone.

About what?

Wheels within wheels.

Do what?

Can we have a chat, Mr Dodd?

Haven't you played this game before?

No.

They don't have them in the nick.

Sorry.

Here you go.

Thank you.

I hope you're not playing for money, because he ain't got any.

There's always hope.

I've got an address.

The widow.

Interested? You are a greedy girl, you know. That's right.

A model's life is sweet and short.

Now, I don't need Billings and Spencer, but I need you.

Let's see the address.

Let's talk about the deal.

Aye.

Me, personally.

I have lost money.

You do understand that, don't you? I know that, Mr. Daly, but now we've got

address. Contact. Oh, great.

So we can ditch Grundy and his daughter. Oh, I don't care.

I have lost money.

Obviously. I only want to recoup my expenses.

Just, just, just expenses.

Obviously a bob or two for the aggravation. Yeah, that's right. But why

worrying me?

What is worrying me is that you will not see a penny of this money. Why?

Because the merry widow has got the dough.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to pin her to the floor? Get a

order? She's an accessory to the fag.

What? Well, her husband was a thief. She's harbouring stolen goods.

Is she going to call the police?

There's still a reward for the original robbery.

Never mind the manager nicking Ernie's loot.

Oh, maybe she's got a couple of rollers in the garage.

She wouldn't want to lose those, would she?

All we want is a fair percentage.

That's right, isn't it, eh?

And you've got the muscle.

Terry, I mean, there might be guard dogs.

Servants. Two big brawny thugs.

Hey, in fact, we don't even need Ernie.

Don't need Ernie?

Just a thought.

Just a minute. Are you suggesting that we elbow Ernie? Of course not.

No, no, no. Just a minute. Let me just say something.

I am an honest man.

Hardly anybody.

True as a driven snow. My word is my bond.

But what you are suggesting is dishonest, scandalous...

And diabolical. Look, forget it. No, no, no, no.

Oh, no, I will not ever forget it. In fact, I will remember this dastardly

suggestion to the end of my dying days. Honestly, a witticism.

Me too.

Don't dip in your pocket a lot, do you?

But since you have found the address... I have.

Which is very clever, very clever.

And I'm sure Ernie will handsomely remunerate you for your labour.

But since I am the only one who is out of pocket...

I think I'm entitled to a little bonus order myself.

Large vodka slimline.

That is bingo.

I ain't lemon, you're not.

Listen, you two.

Grass, super grass. Will you shut up? Not me, grass, me.

God, I've got two geriatric hooligans on the hands.

Want to know the truth? They had me in the nick 12 times and never said a word,

right? And no evidence against me. I could have shot you any day. Look, both

you, calm down. Just stand still and be quiet, right?

That's better.

Then we're going to the flat and talk about it.

Come on, get in there. Now behave yourselves.

For neighbours.

You never contacted me.

Well, I was very busy at the time. And it is my dole.

I don't want any.

You did your bird, it's yours.

Then why do you keep following me about all the time?

Just to set the record straight.

Yeah? Here you go, you two.

Thanks.

Thanks, Terry.

You don't need to worry about me.

Kate's the one you should worry about.

A very hard girl.

Yeah, we know that.

She must get it from her mother.

You're a bit hard to yourself, Ron.

Me? A bit of a scoundrel, but not hard.

No? What about the time you threw Charlie Bartlett through the window and

wasn't even open?

Yeah, but I was just a whippersnapper then.

He was handy in those days.

Should I be impressed?

He could have done you in two seconds.

Good. He can look after you, then. I'll go to bed.

Now, Terry, wait, sit down. You might hear something about the old days.

All our yesterdays, memory lane.

Now, you're worse than a couple of old fighters, you.

Forget him.

Did you see anything of old Bob Tobin? Yeah, very bad with his heart.

But his son, he's a solicitor now. That's handy.

Yeah, considering his other lad's on bail for a dodgy credit card.

Clean, isn't it? It's almost like a country. You can actually smell the

this area.

Or maybe not.

This address is a pet shop.

I hope we're not talking about chicken feed.

Not exactly Aaron, is it?

Hardly longly either.

Your outman stole my money.

I'm sure he didn't. He did, Mrs.

Absolutely true.

Well, he never said anything about it.

Well, he wouldn't, would he? But I bet he left a tiny sum.

Charles. Oh, dear. Hardly a penny. I'm afraid my Charles was a dreamer. What's

that mean?

Oh, wonderful schemes.

Scatterbrain sort of thing.

A mink farm in Scotland.

They all escaped.

Yeah, then what?

Hotel.

In Ireland.

Don't tell me.

A bomb.

Yes. Ulster.

He thought everything was going to settle down.

Yeah. Well, it would, wouldn't it? Then horses.

He bought six. He had this vision of winning the Grand National.

And where are they?

Two had to be destroyed.

One is still lame, and the other three, well, he just sold them for a song.

He was a fool to himself.

You're just going to swallow that, are you?

Have you got any better ideas?

Sometimes I wondered where he got the money. But if you think my child did

something wrong, well, perhaps we'd better call the police.

Where did you get your goldfish?

Oh, from a very nice man in Worthing.

Are you an aquarist?

No, no, I dabble a bit. Sod the goldfish.

She's conning you.

I want my wages. I gave you enough favours.

I didn't think it was from the goodness of your heart. Spencer, just shut up.

You don't care, do you?

You're old. You don't need the money. Well, I do.

You look very good in the Sunday papers.

Crooked bank manager.

Old villain.

Dodgy old copper.

Sexy model.

He wouldn't do that.

Oh, yes, he would.

I really need that.

Go get him, Rover.

Rover's going to bite your ankle later, you know that.

Face up!

My partner.

You handle it.

My man will take care of the situation.

Well, Mrs Knight, it seems you have a new partner.

I'll use you again.

You're not even in my class, are you?

Yeah, I know your game, son.

Three big heavy screws hammering one geezer, eh?

Eh?

I used to dream about hitting geezers like you. You know, the outside.

They don't worry me anymore.

You know little Ernie?

He's done his time, hasn't he?

He's a villain, you're quite right.

But he ain't greedy, see?

He's a thief, yeah, but he's not greedy. Now you...

Look at you. You're dripping with greed.

Now, I'm just warning you.

You talk to the papers, and I'm going to find you.

And I don't care if I do two years for you.

You don't really like me, do you?

I like some of you.

Well, you've got my number anyway.

No, no, I think I lost that.

Oh, well, in that case... Yeah, I'll see you around.

Be lucky.

Yeah, a bit peaky, some of them.

Ooh, a real expert.

No, you can call it a long life study.

Look at that one.

He's got arachne.

A common enough pest.

Well, like Arthur, you mean.

Oh, very droll.

Gives a little smack to an inoffensive screw and he's quite jacked, the lad.

I thought you'd done very well, Terry.

Never mind the congratulations, Ernie. I am out of pocket.

I'll tell you what. Do you remember when I was about and bought that car off

you? I remember it well. Lovely motor.

Steel at a grand.

One lady owner, scrupulously serviced. Broke down two days later.

Warranty. But not 14 years later.

Quit. But only the hotel. What?

No shoes.

No snakeskin. No, the leather. Look, I have spent about... You're a bet.

Terry, the... Oh, Terry!

Oh, the pretty boy!

situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I'm

gonna help you.

Peace out.