All language subtitles for Minder s02e02 Whose Wife is it Anyway

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

There you are.

Special delivery, sir, from Manchester.

Anything to pay?

Only a tencent.

Oh, smacking. How long have you got? A
whole week. I've reported sick.

Ah, better get you to bed then.

I thought you promised Maureen.

I have.

I can't keep away, eh? I know the
feeling.

Heard indoors made me promise to give up
the GGs once. I spent all my time in

the betting shops.

Without having a flutter? Oh, leave off,
Morris.

What was it Karl Marx said?

You can resist anything except
temptation.

25. Pardon?

25.

You're supposed to be a maths teacher,
aren't you?

What?

Good girl.

A friend of yours, Maureen?

One of my students.

You're not gambling by proxy, are you? I
am not a gambler, Arthur. You know

that. I'm like any businessman who has
done his homework. I never make a move

unless the odds are in my favour.

So why are you skinned?

With a wife like mine and two kids at
Millfield, anybody would be skinned. The

word is that you've done a packet at
Crockford's. That's why Maureen blew the

whistle on you. I told that. You've got
to speculate to... To accumulate.

Why? With development money.

Merci, monsieur.

Got to take a break, Mr. Nicholson.

All right, Mr. Horner. I'll keep your
seat warm for you.

Monsieur Fett, bonjour.

Another of your students, Morris?

Yes. What is this? An adult education
course?

Teamwork, Arthur. It's the only way to
beat the house.

What's your game, mate? Oh, I'm terribly
sorry.

I didn't see you. Look where you're
going, mate.

Have you boosted up or something? Well,
of course not. It's just that I'm a

little short -sighted, that's all. Come
off it. You're completely legless. Look

at you.

What's all this about?

Ask this joker.

He took a swing at me.

Had a cup of too many, if you ask me.

But I assure you...

I haven't had a drink all evening.

Oh?

Why, you smell like a bloody distillery.
Come on, Satch.

Something wrong, George?

He tried to smash up the washroom, Mr
Parsons.

Do you want to press charges?

No. Just show him the way out.

Go on.

Shut up.

Not many.

How long? Oh, tell me fast.

Ten.

All members of your night class, Morris?

Yeah.

They don't look like punters.

That's the point.

Terry, what are you going to do?

Well, I've got a few ideas.

Hello, with your life.

Oh, come on. I thought this was a social
occasion.

Well, what's going to happen when these
muscles aren't muscle enough anymore?

I don't know.

Suppose I'll have to go back to flying
Concords.

You never make any plans. You just drift
around letting that Arthur con you out

of your hard -earned wages.

You should be saving for a rainy day.

I'll leave it out. It's raining hard
enough already.

I'm investing a whole week of my life in
you, you lunatic.

I want to know if it's worth investing
any more.

You'd better check out the interest
rate. Oh, Tim, shut up.

Three, four thousand, eight hundred.

There we are, sir. Thank you.

Thank you.

Luck had nothing to do with it, eh?

Nothing. And there's a lot more where
this came from.

If we're allowed to finish what we
started.

Well, it can't chuck you all out.

They don't have to.

If they novel just one of us, the whole
coupon is null and void.

Hey, your pupils, are they using their
own money?

So you can't lose.

What's your share of profits?

50%. 50 % of my own five grand on one
night.

That's a result worth protecting,
Maurice.

Oh, Maurice.

Would you like to buy me a drink?

Yeah.

Oi.

I'll tell you what.

I'll buy you both a drink.

Could be big money, Terry. I've clocked
the potential.

Two of them won nearly five grand
between them.

Yeah, but how much did the others lose?

Peanuts. That is the principle of
Morris' system.

See, working as a team, the punter is
always ahead of the game.

And what is more, Morris doesn't even
use his own money.

All right, sad they were lucky.

Tomorrow they'd be unlucky.

Look, if Morris has a system and he says
it works, that is good enough for me.

He is a pro.

Yeah, I know. I've seen him in action.

Remember? He's seen you in action too,
which is why he wants to hire you.

Hire me?

Yeah, to look after his six punters.

You see, if one of them can't take the
field, the game's off.

No,

I'm sorry, mate. My flag's down this
week.

I'm on holiday.

Holiday?

Freelance like you? You can't have
holidays.

You have to take the work as it comes.
No, he bloody doesn't.

You ought to have more respect for
Terry, Arthur. You need him more than he

needs you.

I do not need him.

Minders are two a penny.

Minders with brains.

All right, I grant you, Terry is a
slight cut above the average. But he

Henry Cooper, is he? He isn't exactly
snowed under with offers of deodorant

commercials. Look, Arthur, come on. Oi,
oi, oi.

Excuse me.

Do you mind not talking about me as if I
wasn't here?

No, I'm sorry, Arthur.

I'm not available.

Oh, suit yourself, son.

I'm just trying to slip you a quick 600.

How much?

Well, no point in talking about it if
you're not interested.

Did you say 600 for just one week's
work? Look, my agreement with Morrie is

of his 50%. He reckons I can clear five
grand a night, so work it out for

yourself. No, maybe not. Look, six times
250 is 1 ,500. Split 60 -40. No need to

ask which way.

Women. Always do get in the way of a
relationship.

You think about it, Terry, and give me a
bill, eh? But don't leave it too long,

cos there's plenty of fellas who'd break
a leg to earn that kind of money.

It's four o 'clock. Where the hell have
you been?

There was a shocking accident down...
The bone one. Maurice!

You promised.

No more poker, shimmy, blackjack,
kaluki, roulette. In a word, no more

I did not gamble. On my mother's life, I
did not have a single punt.

Oh, you went to the Beaumont not to
gamble.

I was giving lessons.

Lessons? Teaching something in it, out
of bed. For that, they need a teacher.

Sure, you've got to have a system,
otherwise you're dead.

These punters, how did they hear of you?

I advertised.

I didn't tell you morning because I
thought you might not go for it. You

go for it.

How much are you charging?

That depends.

On what?

How much they win.

Suppose they lose?

I guarantee results.

Like you've guaranteed results at
Crockford's?

That was a dry run.

This is for real.

So you are still gambling?

Other people's money.

Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, I have to
make a living, haven't I? Are you sure

haven't been out with some bird?

No.

This is kosher.

My word of honour.

It's going to get me out from under.

Well, just as long as there's no -one
else I have to get out from under.

It's an offer you can't refuse, isn't
it?

It's 600 quid. You must admit, it is a
bit tempting.

More tempting than me.

Look, we'd still have all the days
together.

Just as long as you don't fall asleep.

Now, when have I ever fallen asleep, eh?

Eh?

I've just thought of something.

Look,

there are three birds on Maurice's team,
right?

Well, there are some places I can't
follow them.

You're not trying to turn me into a
minder.

It means we've been together, wouldn't
it?

And you might earn yourself a few
reddies, a hundred quid or something.

A hundred quid for a week with you?

Makes me sound like a whore.

Get out.

If you were on the game, you could
charge a lot more than that.

Could I?

I've got to be honest with you, Terry.

It could get dodgy. I mean, they can't
actually throw us out, or we could

complain to the gaming board.

Well, they've started getting a bit
naughty.

No, but I don't get it. Look.

Roulette is a game of chance, right? And
the house always has the edge.

So what have they got to be scared of?
Well, they're scared of me. They know I

never go into anything unless I have the
edge.

Yeah. Oh.

You mean it's a sure thing?

Bloody hell!

Look.

A team of six can cut down the chances
of big losses to an absolute minimum.

Every night, one or two of them will hit
a winning run that can turn a small

punt into a very big payout.

Safety in numbers.

I've spent a lot of time and effort on
this, Mr. Martha. Now I want a result.

How long do you want?

A week.

I'm not greedy. I just want a fair
return on my investment.

That manager, Parsons, he don't like
losing.

And already he's seen enough to know
he's on a hide -into -nothing.

Try another club. No, it's too late. The
world will have gone round by now. They

refuse his membership besides.

Besides what?

Besides that bastard Parsons.

I owe him one.

First he bars me from his poker tables,
now he's putting the frightness on me

punters. And they're getting a bit
nervous, you mean?

Well, they'd feel better if they had
some protection.

Right, you'll need some evening
schmutter, Terence.

I might be able to help you there.

Oh, I've got that blue suit of mine,
that's all right. You can't wear that

thing. No, you want a proper DJ, bow
tie, you know.

Look, I've got a consignment of DJs
here, just in from Czechoslovakia. Get

jacket off.

I'll rent you this one cheap.

You'll rent it to me.

Well, with an option to buy, of course.
Here, I'll try that on for size.

Hold on.

Get the mirror, would you, Morris? Yes,
sir.

What about pennies?

No doubt you've got a concession of
evening gowns from Romania.

Funny you should say that. I know where
I can lay my hands on a lovely little

creation. One of next year's Paris
collections.

Next year?

Yeah. A fella knows a fella.

Been working there for months making
copies.

Look at that. Look at that, Terry. That
could have been made for you.

Ace.

Seems a bit tight.

Yeah? No, it's the way you're standing.
It's found up straight.

That's it. That's it. Lovely.

There you are.

Nice shirt to go with that. What do you
want? Flat or frilly?

Flat. Flat, yeah.

Pair of pumps?

Nice tie?

Bow tie. Bow tie, yeah. Yeah, nice bow
tie.

Lovely. Right.

Hang on.

I'll go and get one.

You all right?

Very. Thank you, Kevin. Oh, thank you.

I'll see you myself.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Who are all these people?

Um,

housewife, accountant, building
contractor.

Catering manageress, retired major.

Appellé Noir? Math teacher.

They're all gamblers, eh? No, no, none
of them have ever played before.

I didn't want spinners.

They're liable to go off the rails and
do their own thing.

You expect them all to win?

No, of course not. But with my system,
the ones who win, win far more than the

others lose.

You'll see.

Monsieur, faites bonjour.

Bonjour.

How are you doing? Je vais bien.

I don't understand it.

Please please tell me we've hardly had a
win all evening.

I should stick to the major if I were
you.

He's cleaning up.

It don't make no difference.

Whoever I stick with, they all seem to
be at a losing streak.

Yes, Arthur, that's what they keep
telling me.

It's near Froy, Champagne Pass, Ruyen
and Numero.

Coffee, madame.

Sorry, madame.

Oh, no, no, I'm relaxed. Calm down.

That's it, it's happened, right?

You okay, love?

I'm all right.

I'll be back in a moment.

Go on, the car's took leave.

I don't know why, madame.

Sorry, love.

She's coming back.

She'll only be a minute.

Well,

you took that very calmly.

Well, the way things are going, I could
afford a new one.

I've been watching the major.

He's over 3 ,000 ahead.

Well, it's just as Marius predicted.

You think he's a genius, don't you?

Fancy, indeed.

Oh, it's not that obvious, is it?

I'm very mocked.

Call themselves gentlemen?

I've been standing for hours and not one
of them has let me have a seat.

Well, I mean, I'm not really into
women's lift. But you'd think some of

blokes would learn some manners.

How's the injury, Mr. Warner?

A bit painful, Mr. Michael.

Just feel the damp weather we've been
having.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur. Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur. Madame, monsieur.
Madame, monsieur. Madame, monsieur.

monsieur. Madame, monsieur.

Madame, monsieur. Madame, monsieur.
Madame, monsieur.

Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,

monsieur. Madame, monsieur. Madame,
monsieur.

Madame, monsieur.

Madame, Excuse me, sir.

Not your territory, this, eh, Major?

I beg your pardon? Take my advice. Quick
while you're ahead.

Why are you so healthy?

Were you threatening me?

Just trying to save you some grief.

Look what happened to America when she
tried to fight on someone else's ground.

I shall report you to the manager.
What's your name?

Waste of time. Pulling rank won't do you
no good in here.

Then I'll complain to the gaming board.

Oh, I shouldn't do that, Major.

Got your address from the membership
book.

Been making some inquiries.

Your old lady.

Drives a Ford Cortina, right?

Registration number... SHB876R.

Fell in the garage, told me the brakes
were a bit dodgy.

Wouldn't surprise him if she had a nasty
accident one of these days.

And if she does, we'll know who it's
down to, won't we?

Who are you?

I am the Major's batman.

I do all his dirty jobs.

Yeah, well, I was just saying...

You should take the money and run.

Thank you, Major, if you don't mind.

I need a little chat.

You are well out of order, Sunbeam.

Now, you tell your boss if any of my
girls and boys are hurt, I will come

looking for him.

No, you won't.

You're only a Todd, aren't you?

So you're just going to have to swallow
it.

You reckon? Yeah.

There's six of them, right? Not counting
Michaelson.

You can't mind them all.

Just you watch me.

We've got a problem.

Why?

I think they're going to try from it.
Probably away from here.

Well, how do you mean?

I've got all the names in the addresses
from the membership book, haven't I?

How'd you suss that out?

I just caught the geezer trying to put
the screws on the major.

Now, luckily, they picked the wrong
bloke, right? But it's not going to take

much to scare some of the others off, is
it?

And I can't split myself six ways, can
I?

No.

We're going to have to keep them all
together, all the time. Yeah, I think

you're right.

Where? Hotel or something? No, no, no,
no, no, that's money.

Hey, how about your drum?

My drum? Yeah.

Oh, sleep it out.

I've only got one bed, remember, and I
like to choose who I share it with.

You got the floor, haven't you?

I can lay my hands on some very high
-class sleeping bags.

A mate of mine bought a job lot from the
last Everest expedition. I'm sorry,

mate. Penny will never wear it.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I will split the tape with you, 50 -50.
No, I cannot say fairer than that, can

I?

Well...

She took the week off just to spend it
with me.

Oh, she will be spending it with you.

She was so well off the population of
bleeding London.

Look, look.

Look on it as a sort of test.

If she stays the course, then she really
cares.

And if she don't, give it that.

Another three nights you'll get before
us, eh?

That's all we need, and we'll murder
them. Don't you worry, they'll be quite

safe.

Terry.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Ah, no sweat, Morris.

By the end of the week, they'll be
buying you a complete new motor.

Hold on, hold on, no.

Hang loose a bit, Pete Cole.

Yeah, um... Look after him, will you?
You and I. Tell him I'll, uh... I'll go

cap.

You'll keep cool, then.

Morris,

you're a lovely car.

My Mimi's just outside. Can I drop you?

Milk,

but no sugar.

Coffee, please.

Strong and black.

Have you any cocoa or hot chocolate?

I'll see.

Two teas, two coffees and a cocoa.

Cocoa? Or hot chocolate.

Make it three teas, then.

Could you do it, please?

Here you are, six sleeping bags, still
in their original cellophane.

I thought you said these were used in an
Everest expedition.

Yeah, well, I mean, they had to go to
the cleaners when they come back from

MLS. I see.

And this is the original dry cleaner
cellophane, is it? That's it, my son.

Everything all right? Everyone quite
comfortable?

Comfortable? I was more comfortable out
in Kenya fighting the Mau Mau.

I'll be fair, Major. You had all your
amenities out there. Nappy stuff for cut

-price booze. All the local talent you
could manage.

You can't expect Mr McCann to compete
with that, can you?

Terry?

How long are these people staying?

Well, it's a bit hard to... Come on, out
with it. How long do we have to put up

with this invasion?

Well, Arthur thinks maybe a week.

The whole week?

You invest.

I'll make it up to you.

I don't fancy playing love to you in the
middle of Picard and his herpes.

Come on, every other week's. I wouldn't
bet on it.

Oh, if that's anybody else wanting to
make a reservation, tell them you've got

plenty of room.

There's a couple of inches you haven't
let behind the record player yet.

Hello?

Oh, hello.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

All her clothes are still here.

And her jewellery. I mean, can you
imagine Maureen taking off in the middle

the night without a sparkler? And you
reckon it's Parsons?

It's got to be.

I'd get her back as long as I promised
never to darken his doors again.

That's a joke for the old Bill, isn't
it?

No, no, look, well, old uptale. I mean,
I'd rather keep it in the family.

See what you can do, eh?

Me?

Well, if the old Bill gets a bit busy,
there'll be no more pay nights at the

tables. The publicity could finish us.

Oh, yeah.

And what's the wife compared with a
wheel and a little white boy?

Had it all.

Arthur.

Come here.

Can you hang about here for a while?

Why, what's the problem?

Morris, the old woman.

He thinks they're holding her to put the
black on him.

What can you do?

I don't know, slap a few riffs, I
suppose.

Look, I did a deal with Morris for you
to mind this lot for him.

If you're going to go tearing around
looking for more, you're not going to

to renegotiate.

That's right, Arthur, yeah.

And if I have to fish her out of the
river, that's got to be worth another

hasn't it?

Terry, where are you going?

Oh, someone at the door.

Hello, love, come in.

Come in.

Just in time for a nightcap.

Oh, my dear.

Sorry, mate, we're closed.

Is Parsons here?

He's counting the take.

He won't see no one.

Where do you think you're going?

To talk to Parsons. What about?

Ah, that's between him and me.

Wrong. It's between you and me.

Here you go, sir.

Hold it.

Oh, you've got a nerve coming back here.

We could really smack you around a bit.

Know what I mean?

Then hand the pieces to the old Bill.

No, you wouldn't do that. Why not?

You wouldn't fancy the scandal.

What scandal?

Terry McCann, hired muscle, late of H
.M. prison, comes barging into the club

and tries to nick the take.

In the ensuing struggle, members of the
staff try to restrain him, and he breaks

his arm.

Nothing scandalous about that, is there?

Oh, but it wouldn't only be my arm that
got broken, would it? I mean, there'd be

a lot of other damage.

Oh, that's all right.

We're fully insured.

Even for kidnapping.

What? You snatched Michaelson's wife.

That's why you can't call the old Bill.

Come and sit down, Mr. McCann.

One minute you're going to break my arm,
the next minute it's come and fit down.

Now, what is your game?

How would you like to work for me?

Why?

Why? Because I pay damn good wages,
that's why.

What is the going rate for kidnapping
these days?

Suit yourself.

Tell Michelson he can have his wife back
if he takes the punter somewhere else.

She's OK, is she?

All completely unharmed.

And if your governor doesn't need told,
she'll stay that way.

That's the deal, then?

That's the deal.

Right. Right!

Now you tell your monkey to back off or
I'll break your neck! Do as he says!

Come on, where is she?

I don't know, honest!

Are we going to have to do this the hard
way?

I didn't even know she was missing until
you told me.

Look, McCain, we might go a bit over the
top occasionally, but kidnapping,

that's not our game.

Take my word.

Take his word? Why should we take his
word?

Because if it was him who snatched
Maureen, he wouldn't have changed his

would he? He'd want to keep the pressure
on, right?

So why wouldn't he tell us he was
holding her?

Maybe because she was holding him and he
was a bit short of breath at the time.

All he had to do was give me a false
address and he was off the hook.

No, I believe he's telling the truth.

All right.

So where is he?

I'm sorry, Arthur, but that's your
problem, isn't it? I've got to be

back. Hang on a minute, Terry. I've got
to find her and you've got to help me.

Well, why not report her missing?

Well, she's not missing, is she?

Yet. Well, I mean, not for certain.

I reckon you and me, we could... We
could ask around a bit first, couldn't

Hold on, hold on. What about that flat
full of punters you've given me?

Well, Arthur can look after them.

Oh, look, that bird of yours, do you
think... What's her name?

Penny. Yeah, Penny.

I mean, do you think she'd come round
here and sit by her phone?

As it happens, I think she'd do anything
to get out of there at the moment.

But you've got to ask her.

Well, not exactly flavour of the month
at the moment.

Yeah?

Morris?

Hey, look, what's happening?

Where's Terry?

Well, send him home, will you?

I've got to get out of here.

Even her indoors is better than this.

What?

Yeah, all right, but it'll cost you.

No, no, she's here on the floor beside
me.

Yeah, all right.

Tell her.

Oh, wait.

What's the name?

Thingy. Hey.

Wake up.

Wake up, darling.

No, no, no, it's not Terry. It's Arthur.
Get off. Get off.

Oh, please, God, make it a nightmare.

That is not very nice.

No one looks their best at this hour in
the morning. This is madness.

I'm going.

Where are you going?

Up north, where there isn't such a
housing problem.

Up north?

How do you feel about ending?

Look, there are thousands of women
swirling round Brent Cross every

Who's going to remember Maureen?

Anybody she bought anything from. She's
the last of the great hagglers.

Yeah, but there's nothing special about
her, is there? I mean, be fair, she

don't exactly stand out in a crowd.

Do you mean she hasn't got big tits like
the scrubbers you knock about with?

Don't go over the top, Maurice.

Personality, Terry, that is what makes a
woman stand out, because you wouldn't

know anything about that, would you? The
only time you notice them is when

they're horizontal.

Listen...

I don't suppose you'd ever see her in
this movie, would you?

I mean, any chance that you might think
about it?

She'd buy me, wouldn't she?

No. But you're not allowed to buy me.

I don't know.

What?

She'd buy you.

Um, would it be possible for us to have
a drink when you finish work?

No.

Oh, yeah.

I remember her.

She was in here yesterday around, um,
tea time.

Told the manager if the scones were
stale.

Gave her a right rollicky.

Was anyone with her?

Yeah, another lady.

What's she look like?

Big, lousy, bit parked, if you know what
I mean.

Dripping with furs and jewels.

Sadie. You know it is? Yeah.

She's an old bat that Moe plays bridge
with.

She caught her husband in bed with the
au pair, took him for the national debt.

Now she carries on a one -woman crusade
on behalf of the downtrodden wives of

Endham.

Downtrodden? Look, no offence, Maureen,
but Maureen's about as downtrodden as

Margaret Thatcher.

Well, we've got to find out, haven't we?

What? It's as if he's been put in a
bootlid.

We'd like a word with Mrs Gilbert,
please.

Maurice Michaelson.

I'll see if she's in.

Cheeky girl.

Place, mate, you sure you want me along?

You're supposed to be a minder, aren't
you?

This is where you start earning your
wages.

This way.

Sir.

Sadie. Long time no see. How you been?
You're looking wonderful. Cut the crap,

Maury. The reason we don't meet is we
can't stand the sight of each other.

Who's little boy blue?

If, if, uh, Terry McCann.

He's helping me look for Maury.

Taking off again, is she?

About time, too.

I was wondering if you knew where she
was.

Me? Why should I?

Well, for a start, you spent yesterday
afternoon with her down at Break Cross.

We have been having a nosy, haven't we?

Did she say anything about going away?

What do you care?

Sadie, be nice.

I'm her husband.

It's a bit late now, isn't it?

If you wanted a keeper, you should have
started acting like I've been years ago.

How was that supposed to mean?

You're a schmuck, Morrie.

You always have been and you always will
be. I've told Maureen. What can I say?

If there's anything I can ever do for
you, don't ask me. It's what you've ever

done for her.

You're a lazy, good -for -nothing
scrounger who can't even be bothered to

job. I've got a job. Just because I
don't work regular hours doesn't mean I

haven't got a job.

Gambling's not a job.

It's just an excuse for a night out with
the boys. And the girls. Oi, hold on.

Now, what are you on about?

Oh, it talks.

I beg your pardon?

This geezer has just lost his mistress,
right? He don't need all these verbals.

Now, do you know where she is or don't
you?

As it so happens, I don't. And even if I
did, I wouldn't tell you. That I can

believe.

Look, if she's decided she's had enough,
good luck to her. The best thing she

can do is get a divorce.

Well, then take him to the cleaners like
you did your old man.

I think you'd better leave.

I think you're right.

Come on, son.

She obviously don't fancy fellas.

You could break that.

Thank you. Mr. Daly. Oh, thank you, my
dear.

Thank you.

You thought what you're going to do with
all this dough you're making?

I mean, two or three fowl each. I mean,
it's not a fortune, but it could turn

into a nice little nest egg if it was
handled properly.

You have something in mind, Mr. Daly?

Me? No, no, no, no, no.

Oh.

I know a fella who bought 200 acres down
on the Algarve.

He's selling it off at two grand a plot.
Now, if you was to invest in a bit of

that, sit on it for some time, you'd see
it triple in value.

Or you could do a deal with one of them
property developers down there, get him

to build you a nice little villa in
exchange for a partner to rent or even

sale. Either way, you can't lose.

Unless the land turned out to be
worthless.

Eh? I had a client who invested 10 ,000
in just such a scheme in the south of

France. Well, the area was just as the
vendor described, except he forgot to

mention the nuclear power station in the
middle of it.

That is just bent, isn't it?

Honestly, some of these villains,
they've got no principles at all.

I do not know how they get away with it.

Woman, what's she sound like? If you'd
sent that sort of message through the

mail, you'd have to wrap it in a plain
cover.

Well, she didn't seem to be in any
trouble.

Trouble? If she could have reached
through the phone, I'd be the one in

It's got to be Mum.

Yeah, but why does she walk out like
that?

Do you have a row for me?

Nothing important.

She accused me of being out with a bird,
but I told her it was strictly

business.

Do you believe it?

Yeah.

I mean, she wasn't too pleased when she
heard what her business was, but...

Well, instead I've got to make a living.

So the last time you saw her was when
she left for Brent Cross, right? Yeah.

Where she met Sadie, who probably told
her you were no good for her.

She's heard all that crap before. That's
no reason for her to suddenly go on a

missing list.

Twelve.

She came back.

She came back after I left for the club.

Hold on.

Look, if you're thinking of leaving
someone, you don't go shopping, bring

gear back and then leg it, do you? Why
not?

Pass.

Hold on, hold on. What?

I've just remembered where I've seen
that lady before.

Where? In the club last night.

Lady? Yeah.

Well, she's no gambler. She's always
selling more in. It's a mugs game.

How about this?

Maureen meets Sadie at Brent Cross,
right?

Maureen goes on about she thinks you're
up to naughties.

Sadie wants to play detective.

So she goes down the club, sees you
leave with the Welsh bit, phones up

and tells her she's right.

This Sadie?

Big, brassy woman, mid -forties?

One hundred.

She came into the ladies when Jackie and
I were talking.

She must have overheard what we were
talking about.

Well, what were you talking about?

Morris. And how she fancied him.

Oh, my God.

That dude hasn't explained why all her
staff is still here.

I mean, where can a woman go without a
change of clothes?

New discolony?

Hmm.

I'm sorry.

Clothes.

The Grange.

The what? The Grange. It's a health farm
near Arklay. Morning goes there when

she's depressed.

Ah, there you go, then. No.

There you go, my friend. You're going to
have to bring her back. Go.

Listen, you can explain to her that
there is absolutely nothing, nothing

me and that bird. I mean, maybe she'll
listen to you. Yes, you tell her.

Manage that, can you, Terry?

Just describe the relationship between
you and me. She'll get the picture.

Come on, Penny.

Listen, there's no need for you to try
and mood it.

Well, I feel like a trickle, hardly.

No, I might even treat you to a sauna.

Sweet of you, Terry.

But all I need is a bed.

A single bed.

See what you've done, Maurice?

Started a bleeding epidemic.

Oh, no, no, no, that comes later.

After you've heated it up, then you let
it cool down.

And then when it really starts to
congeal, can you use pistachios instead

strawberries? I'm mad about pistachios.
Oh, yes, yes, I suppose you could do.

You'd have to chop them up very fine, of
course. Then you could spike the

vanilla with a little kiosk. Oh, shut
up!

I beg your pardon?

I came here for some peaceful quiet, not
to listen to a couple of pot -bellies

rumbling. Excuse me, ladies, I've just
had a word with Mrs. Microton.

That's it, son. You take her home to
Dad.

This is no place for skeletons.

Um, can we go somewhere?

You're wasting your time, Terry.

Morris wants you to come back.

He's ever so upset.

So upset he sent the office boy. Yeah,
go to the club. Look after his punters.

That Welsh part, you mean. She's the one
he's looking after.

He's not chasing that bird, honestly.

Sadie got it all wrong.

You talked to Sadie?

Yeah, right next to her, eh?

I suppose the voice that answered the
phone at my own home was the recording.

No, that was Penny.

Penny? That's my bird.

She was just answering the phone while
we went to Brent Cross.

To look for me?

Yeah.

You got a motor, Terry?

Yeah. Only to hang about, then?

Well, what shall I tell Maurice?

Tell him I'll be back tomorrow.

Oh, terrific.

Monsieur, rien n 'a va plus.

You shouldn't have sent Terry out of
town, Morris. You really shouldn't have.

Who's going to look after this lot if
there's any bother?

There won't be any bother.

If they start anything, then Terry will
come looking for them.

That'll be a lot of use to us with our
legs in plaster, won't it?

Arthur, relax.

You're insured against minor injuries,
aren't you?

You have got no priorities, Morris. That
is your trouble.

There's plenty of time to go looking for
your wife when all this is over.

No point in leaving your investment
unprotected.

It is not unprotected.

We've got you, haven't we?

Anything wrong? Not many.

I've seen kids do it better than that. I
don't know what you're talking about.

No. Get your coat off.

Don't be funny.

Mr. Parsons?

Yes, Mr. Michael.

A friend here.

He's got two 1 ,000 chips up his sleeve.
He took them from the top of this

lady's pile. I want him searched. Now,
look here. Just a moment, sir.

You realize, Mr. Michaelson, that's a
very serious accusation.

And if it proved to be unfounded, this
gentleman could sue you for flounder. I

will. I didn't ask for legal advice. I
asked to have him searched.

Very well. Shall we do it in the office?

Please continue, ladies and gentlemen.

Come on, I'm trying to get a witness.
You're sure about this? I mean, wouldn't

it be better just to forget it?

Forget it?

Two grand?

Arthur, you're not well.

I won't be if I go in there.

Come on.

George, help the gentleman off with his
coat, would you?

Now, Mr. Michelson, you say this
gentleman has chips up his sleeve.

Which one?

The right one.

Roll up your sleeves, sir, please.

You bastard.

If you set up, you parmed him. That's
enough.

Take Mr. Michael from outside.

I suggest the back door.

Take him for a drive and convince him.

It would be in his best interest not to
come back.

Go.

You won't get away with this, Parson.
You will not get away with this.

Harper, come with me. What? I'm going to
get a stamp in.

Yeah, well, I told you not to stick your
neck out.

Sorry about that, Mr. Parsons.

He's not himself tonight.

Bit of wife trouble.

Not your fault, Mr. Daly.

Friend of yours, is he?

Friend? No, no, no, nothing like that.
No, no, no. Hard to learn him.

Bye -bye.

Cheers. Have a look in his pocket, will
you?

There should be two grand in chips.

Right.

No.

Bloody amateurs.

Trying to con a pro.

Arthur. Oh, Terence. Nice of you to show
up.

I've taken off for foreign parts and
leaving your reverend guy to mend or

for himself.

Foreign parts? I went to Artling. Yeah,
well, as long as you're not expecting

any wages for tonight, that's all.

Oh, I thought we were on a percentage.

Yeah, yeah, we are.

But a percentage will have to be
adjusted, won't it? I mean, naturally.

Oh, yeah, naturally.

Hey, hey, have you seen Morris?

Yeah, outside.

He was getting a good hiding. Oh, my
God. No, don't worry. He's all right.

gone home. He went to shoot the cash up
and then back to his gaffer to share

out. Oh, thank God for that. I told the
punters. Here.

Better have that.

Good boy.

That's why we get on so well together,
you and me.

We can trust each other.

Ten and a half from the other two
nights.

That makes... 27 grand.

13 and a half is mine, and 13 and a half
split six ways is 2 ,250 each for you.

Mr. McCann, if you would do the honors.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Good
night. Thank you.

And I'm sure you'll all agree with me
when I say that we've had the time of

lives. Oh, that's lovely. That is
lovely. Good night. Thank you. Good

Good night. Good night.

Good night. Thank you very much. You
know, I still don't see why we can't go

Well, Major, as the Duke of Wellington
said, when they've done their brains,

a boot in.

Maybe we'll get together again sometime.

Yes, yes, maybe. Do you gentlemen need
financial guidance? Just give me a bell.

Any hour of the day or night.

Here we are, my dear. It's half a day.
Good night.

Here we are, my dear.

Goodbye, Maury.

Pity we couldn't finish what we started.

For you, it's a pity. For me, it's
muscle. Good night.

10 % for 30 and a half grand.

30 and 50, right?

Right. What's 50 % of that?

Hold hard, young Terence.

Oh, here we go.

What's that mean, then?

Well, it's always hold hard, young
Terence, when it's time for my wages,

it? Listen, I did a grand at the tables.
That's down to you.

What are you talking about?

That's legitimate expenses.

I had to do a bit of punting while I was
supervising the operation.

Supervising? Watching them rake in their
chips? Oh, that's bleeding hard work,

isn't it? And another thing, you didn't
turn up tonight.

I turned up in time to save you two
grand. I'm not saying you was wasting

time. But what you was doing was a
favour to Morris.

And I reckon you should foot the bill.

Fair enough.

If and when she comes back, it's worth a
tonne. There you are. There's another

one. 200 quid for two days' work. You
can't grumble, son, can you?

Stick with me. I'll make you a
millionaire.

I don't think I could afford it, Arthur.

Eh?

If I ever got my hands on a million...

I'd still end up owing you two.

Terry, I almost forgot.

That bird of yours.

Oh,

have a listen.

Dear Terry, I've decided to take myself
off the sick leave. My doctor's been so

busy, he's been unable to give me his
undivided attention.

So I'm off to the north, where they take
better care of their patients.

Penny.

Well, what can I tell you?

Win some, you lose some.

Cheers, pal.

Cheers.

What's up?

You want to start?

Do you want to slide over and let me
have a go?

It's funny. I haven't got the knack, I
suppose.

Maybe I should follow in my motor just
in case it falls or something.

Maybe you should.

All right, then.

lose some, you win some.

I've changed the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong
location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good
for you. I could be so good for you.

I'm gonna help you. Love you like you
want me to.

I'll do anything for you.

I'll be so good for you. I can be so
good for you.