Original subtitles

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

Two pence a book.

Five hundred.

Five hundred to you, sir.

Go on.

Five hundred pounds.

Take the five.

Raise.

Two grand.

Two thousand more.

You don't believe my full house?

If you want to call, you want lessons. Otherwise, it's going to cost you money.

I call.

Call the 2 ,000.

Now, I'm sure I don't believe you. Three ladies, take it.

How do you know?

Aces and nines.

They were dead.

Don't you wash your cars?

Do me out.

Thank you, gentlemen.

And, uh, ladies?

9 ,000, 10 ,000, 11.

Oh, hello.

Mr. Michael. Thank you.

And 240, sir. Thank you.

Mr. Michael, I do hope you appreciate my embarrassment.

Not one too much again.

I'm delighted for you, Mr. Michael.

But a few of the members are feeling a bit, well, it's a bit discouraging for

them. You can get a lot of action.

Good travel money for the places.

But they tend not to come back, Mr. Michaels.

I mean, let's face it, you are a professional and a very good one, and...

uh... And I think you know what I'm going to say.

But... Not at all, Mr. Michaels.

I would be delighted for you to take part in the activities of the club. Not

question of being barred.

Not in this establishment. We simply prefer that you do not use the poker

So I'm barred. I did not use that word.

Try a blackjack roulette.

That way you've got the edge. Playing poker, I've got the edge.

Then I shall repeat.

I'm very sorry, Mr. Michael.

Well, I'm very sorry, you're very sorry. Maybe six months' time, eh?

Possibly, Mr. Michael.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. Michael.

Don't want that.

I might.

No, I don't.

If I don't want that, I don't.

What do I?

Both.

Oh, Morris.

What, sir? Yeah, trivia, thanks.

What's the geezer's name?

Dave. Dave.

You all right?

Yeah. Well, I wouldn't mind. Dave, do you do a margarita cocktail?

I do a gin and tonic cocktail. A whiskey and dry ginger cocktail.

A macardian coke with ice and a twist of lemon.

And that's your love.

Give us a lager.

A nice continental lager.

Lager connoisseur, eh?

Never happened to like ale.

What are you doing? What are you doing that for?

Eh? Well, he's got to be looking for a nine, hasn't he?

Well, how should I know?

Well, I've just seen six cards go down. You must know what you've got in your

own hand. That accounts for another three cards. There's only four possible

cards he could want.

Finished.

Well, of course he is. You just give him the nine. Oh, don't go potty, Morris.

We're only playing for a penny a point.

Penny a... Deal me it.

41. Deal him in.

Maverick of Endon Central, no thanks.

So he'll lose the two quid. Just think of the experience you're gaining.

Oh,

sorry.

Right.

Don't start, Morris.

All that pick a card.

Still winning?

Winning?

11 grand I dropped the other night. Yeah?

Cincinnati kid must have been in town.

Always mugged.

Biggest win I've had in months.

Oh, no wonder people are always going on about law and order.

Arthur. Arthur, that is the good news.

Yeah?

Barred from the Beaumont.

Joking. And the Intercontinental and the Royal are taking away my living.

Well, couldn't you claim for redundancy pay?

It's not funny.

It's like a doctor being struck off.

One nice Continental lover.

Cheers, Dave. How may I help you? Sorry, Bloody Mary.

Oh, good.

Don't care.

No, mate, come on, be fair. A professional man is deprived of his

he is too good. Is that right? That's why I come to see you.

Well, yes, I do know a few of the people who run these places. I could have a

word with... Who?

Who could you have a word with? Nobody. Don't give me all that. What I've come

to see you about is I need Terry.

Excuse me?

Why don't you come and see Terry if you need Terry?

It's no offence, Tal.

I mean, it's a business proposition.

Absolutely right.

The man has come to see me about seeing you.

Oh, see?

No, I'm sorry.

Sorry, a bit out of order there. He's coming to see you about to see me.

Got it.

What is it, then?

Find the lady down Oxford Street.

Greeks.

Big game.

Camden Town.

I thought it would be a nice little trip to Monte Carlo.

Don't knock it.

It's a big game.

Cash.

Listen.

Three kebab houses changed hands over one deal there last week.

It'd be handy, wouldn't it?

You'd end up with a kosher kebab house.

Aren't you?

Rough game.

Rough people. But not all that clever.

So I'm odds on to walk away a winner.

Why?

Why? Terry, he's the best.

No question.

Number one. The man.

So I walk out a winner. But the only question is...

Do I get back to Hendham with all the winners?

Definitely.

Because Terry is going to sit up with you all night and ride shotgun all the

home. Is he?

Of course he is.

I mean, there's got to be.

Well, how much in it for you?

Morris.

Terry, time you go drinking.

Morris and me are discussing the business.

Hey, apart from anything else, it's going to be entertainment, isn't it?

I'll get a drink.

Mr. Michelson. How are you?

I hear you're a very good player.

We have reserved a special place for you.

You have a preference?

What about next to the dealer?

Certainly, of course.

A brave player, that's what we like.

Now, this is Mr.

Doxianis. Hello.

George, he'll make nice suits for you. Hello.

Christophorus? Yes, Chris.

This is Nick, our dealer.

Your friend also wishes to play?

Just a spectator.

Ah, well.

We don't like him to wander around the table.

What about your friend here?

Oh, this is Andy, a friend of Mr.

Doxiadis. He always sits there.

Oh, I see.

He always sits there.

Your friend, Cundring, at the bar.

Now, what is your game, Mr. Mickelson? Far

-cut that.

No jokers.

Knowing there's some bleeders, no hole, card, wire, just straight start poker.

Good. Like the cowboys play.

That's it.

All the way from Kansas City to Camden Town.

Beautiful.

Well, we play table stakes, no limit, ten pound ante, and the house takes five

percent out of every pot.

Nick, would you like to call the table?

Mr. Doxiades, please call a pass.

George is a thousand.

and 1 ,000 behind.

Chris, the same.

Mr. Zardonides, 2 ,000 table, 2 ,000 behind.

So, for you, Mr. Michelson.

2 ,000 of plastic.

And I'll play another two behind.

Hello. Just like watching.

Well, no, sometimes I like doing as well.

How about you?

I only work here.

Oh.

Well, in that case, what's Greek for light ale?

Right, gentlemen.

Let's play poker.

Estimate.

Win the first one, lose all night, eh?

What the hell?

Ten. Call.

Done. Call.

Yeah, I'll... Farewell, sister, speak.

Come on.

Come on, come on. Let's keep it in English, shall we?

Mr. Doxialis doesn't understand English.

He understands five red chips, doesn't he?

He wants to raise you.

Just let him shove the chips in. I'm not colorblind.

And I raised... Fifteen hundred.

Promise. Mr. Doxialis, I can call.

Check.

Suddenly he speaks English. Look, you got it, you bet it. I'm not going to bet

it two pairs. I'm on Mr. Peroxide.

Doxialis. The name is Doxialis.

All right.

It's a Doctiades.

I check, so it's a showdown. You pulled a full house. King's on top.

I'll bet him three aces.

He raises me.

Then he actually calls my re -raise.

I feel lucky.

Mr. Doxiaris says... Yeah, yeah.

I understand him when he speaks English.

He won the money, Maurice.

Well... Didn't he just?

Give me another two grand.

Not doing all that well, your pal, is he?

No, neither am I.

See, I would have thought by now I'd have a race to meet you somewhere

night.

You don't say things like that to Greek girls.

What don't you say to Greek girls?

Nothing, apparently.

This is my boyfriend, Harry.

Harry?

No, Harry.

Harry. It's a Greek name.

What, like a good old -fashioned company, Harry?

That's right.

He ain't got a hitch in him.

That's handy. I mean, handy.

Yeah, they're funny, those ages, aren't they? Now, my old mum, she always used

to call Anthony Eden, Anthony Eden.

Who? Prime Minister.

Used to wear a black hat.

A Homburg.

Good ear, isn't it?

Very nice, Mr. Street.

100.

Call.

Mr. McHaven's called.

Throw bases.

Throw jacks.

Straightening.

No help.

Price of poker is going up, gentlemen.

400.

Mr. Doctor, you had his calls?

Why not?

Too expensive.

Trey, no help.

Four, no help.

Straightening.

How much have you got there, Morris?

£1 ,200.

Nothing behind?

I'll set you in.

Three jacks on the table and you called a £400 bet. Then you hit the case, Jack.

You spent all that trying to fill in inside straight.

And I made it.

Wow.

Last card, Louis. I mean, what's going on here?

What are you saying, Mr. Michelson?

Look at a five -year -old who wouldn't play poker like that and expect to win.

Are you saying it's crooked or something?

I'm just saying, I've seen... All Morris is saying is you win a few, you lose a

few. Are you saying we're cheating in this, my own personal club?

I'm just saying... You're not saying anything, shut up.

Look, you've got the dough.

No sweat, okay?

Are you here to look after him?

Well, yeah, but five to one, I don't fancy the odds.

You nearly got him.

Right, Bunty? Don't talk.

Now you can talk.

First red light on the way home.

When you've done your money, that's when you start to think about it.

You really got us both done, never mind a dough.

It was bent.

Bloody life.

How can you be so sure?

You didn't get the right cards, that's just bad luck.

What are you talking about? Poker's odds, percentages, good players win, bad

players lose.

Luck.

Right.

I told you, it's bent.

It's not all that difficult.

Dealing seconds, they call it. Look.

King. On top.

Your deal. One, two, three, four.

You want a king.

There it is.

All you need in poker.

An edge. You do it three or four times in a night with a few really nice pots.

You win.

Well, how come you kept on playing then?

It's hard to spot. There's other people losing.

Like that... That little geezer. What's his name?

Um... George.

You've got a punchline that you don't need to cheat.

Probably talks a bund every week. He's a bad player.

The only time I was certain was on that last big hand.

Eh?

Well, that had to be Ben.

There's something nice about Hendon this time of the day.

Must be the sun coming up over Winsmore Hill.

Do you play?

Well, I know where they're supposed to go.

Gieser taught me in Chelmsford.

Do you want to go?

Well, I'm not all that good.

Tell you what, I'll give you a pawn and a bishop and it's £100 .20.

A bit tasty, are you?

No. Come on.

I'll give you two pawns and a bishop and it's £200 .50.

Morris, I've just seen you drop six grand, and now you want to hustle me out

50 quid.

What's going on?

Yeah, sorry.

Forget it.

You're skint, aren't you?

So what's all this then?

Just fun?

Notice anything missing?

Well, it's a quarter to eight and I don't see any Jewish princess.

Also, I don't hear the tiny pitter -patter of little Clark Sandals.

Left me.

Why can't I be a wholesale tobacconist like her father?

Bought her another house.

Now she wants the kids to go to Millfield.

That's a horse, isn't it?

Millford. Millford is the horse. Millfield is the school. Specialises in

Suddenly she wants my son to be the Jewish Nastassian. The girl's going to

Chrissie Everett. I mean, they're lovely kids, but don't button up for

Wimbledon. I thought you were the big winner.

Mugged for 11 grand the other night, dropped six tonight. Come on.

When you're a pro, you must be greedy.

I settle for 700, 800 a week. Sometimes it's hard to get a bit of action.

Meanwhile, Maureen is murdering me. Take, take, take.

Can't pay arteries, 300.

300?

I mean, he'll wait a few days, won't he?

Oh, yeah.

300, eh?

You could always sell a painting.

They're prints.

The frames are worth more than the pictures.

I thought you were an art lover.

I'm a frame lover.

Like you said.

All front.

I want it out.

I've only got cheese.

Yeah, use the same slicer for it too, I reckon.

Now listen, you don't throw Moody on me. It wasn't my fault.

300 quid.

I don't get knocked for that sort of dough.

And what about my 60?

Don't exactly seem like a fair split, does it?

Obviously, you were going to get bunged a bit more.

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Man did a deal, a man pays.

The man is skint.

Well, you've been over his drum.

He's got goods and chattels, hasn't he?

Has he got what?

Oh, stereo, maybe.

Color telly.

Couple of watches.

Now, listen, I'm not a tally man.

Anyway, I thought he was supposed to be a mate of yours.

He is a drinking acquaintance.

He owes, he pays.

All right.

I'll tell you what.

The next time he plays, you go with him. Get paid out on the spot then, wouldn't

you? The next time he plays?

Yeah.

What's he going to use for money?

I don't know.

I think he's going to ask you for a sub.

Where are you going?

Hello, sweetheart.

Who gave you the love pie?

Who do you think?

He must really like you.

They all in there?

Yeah. I don't think you're very welcome.

Don't be silly.

Last time I came here, all they did was pick up money.

Look, don't make trouble.

Harry always carried a knife.

You deserve better than that, you know.

Cheers.

Well, do relax, Harry.

I've come here on a mission of goodwill.

What do you want?

Well, I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee. Turkish.

Greek.

Oh, that's right. Sorry, my mistake.

Excuse me.

Look, uh, Morris was out of order the other night.

He wants to win his money back.

What? You're coming around team -handed?

Harry, this isn't a war.

The man lost, he don't like losing. He accuses us of cheating.

Yeah, well, that was just the heat of the moment.

When you're a gambler, you know what it's like.

Good player, bad loser.

So, he sends you to apologise?

If you like, yeah.

Look, it's like the betting shop, innit?

The odds on favourite goes down and all the punters start screaming that it's

got to be bet.

Five minutes later, they're back in, filling out their betting slip.

Now, with Morris, you're not only talking about money.

It's a question of pride.

Bring a coffee here.

So, he thinks he's a winner, eh?

Yeah.

I appreciate you coming here like a man.

So, okay, you tell Morris, same time, same place, same game.

Same card.

Who knows Terry?

That's the luck of the draw.

Cheers.

Look here. If you can afford to play, you can afford to pay.

Otherwise, Terry has a quiet night in front of his telly. I said I'm playing.

haven't said I've got the steak yet.

But where are you going to get it?

What are your contacts like in the motor trade?

Very good.

How about a 1977 Lotus Eclat?

Never raced or rallied.

One careful owner.

Genuine 21 ,000 miles on the clock. Good music.

thoughtlessly maintained, genuine reason for death.

Oh, as it happens, I may be able to help.

Cash. Banks are still open.

Now, you see, the trouble with it, it's a specialist motor.

I mean, price -wise, they just fall out of bed. Forget it, I'll go to a dealer.

What do you want a dealer for?

I've got the book.

Lotus Eclat.

That's registration.

F. What are you asking?

Seven grand.

Seven? You're joking.

It's under five in the book. Show me. Where? The book is confidential.

For the trade only.

I can't flash the book around.

I get this from a very special contact.

I should say four and a half.

Hey.

You've had a smash there.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's where we edited it the night I was done over.

It's still a flaw.

You say five?

Yeah, I'm being a fool to myself.

I'll take your five, but there's one condition.

Yeah?

I come back to you before midday tomorrow and I give you five, two, and

motor is mine again. Yeah, what sort of a deal is that?

It's a steal, that's what. Oh, don't come back tomorrow, you've got yourself

motor. I do come back, you've earned yourself 200 quid just for parking it

overnight.

Midday tomorrow?

Yeah.

Registration book.

Here.

Maurice, you got yourself a steak.

The thing is, Arthur, you said you'd get me a nice, clean, four -year -old

Capri. Yeah, I will, Dave, I will. But, I mean, a Lotus Eclat. I thought it was

a personal friend. You like first refusal.

See, with a motor like this, you get a bit of respect.

Yeah.

I've heard they just fall out of bed, price -wise.

You've heard what?

Specialist motor like this?

Look, if you're talking about inflation, set of wheels like this is an

investment. In two years' time, you'll be making money.

I mean, the stereo's better than the one you got in the club.

Yeah, that flash, Morris.

You imagine how he must have caned it.

Morris? It has nothing to do with Morris.

It's a second car.

Bought it for his missus.

What does she use it for?

Endant ladders and back again.

I'm not kidding, Dave.

Seven and a half in the book.

To you, 6 ,990, and I won't even be getting a drink out of it. Six how much?

Well, forget the odd 90. We won't say nothing about delivery charges.

Forget the delivery, Arthur.

It's out of my league, honest.

Oh, dear. Try to do a favour.

Look, have you thought of consulting the missus?

They love a motor like this.

She wants a caravan.

Ah, well, funny, dear, I might be able to help you. Look, I've got a friend

who's got a clean dormobile.

P registration.

He's had a stroke, so it's not even run in.

Keep looking for a nice, clean, four -year -old Capri, Arthur.

Excuse me, you've got the time, eh?

What's that?

You let Arthur have you right over on that car deal?

You reckon?

Yeah. Call it till the evening papers.

He's only got it for the night.

Oh, yes.

I feel good.

Slept like a baby for three hours.

Dealt a few hands.

Had a nice light supper.

Scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, a few glasses of Chablis.

I feel like a winner.

You said that last time.

Morris, the game is crooked.

Only on a few big hands, I've told you.

They'll let me win a few tonight, don't worry.

I'm going to have an edge.

No hard feeling, Morris.

How much you want to play tonight?

Five grand, under ten.

Ah, I think Morris is out for revenge.

A big open game, eh?

Could be.

Let's go, Nick.

Hello, Larry.

Ace is over wins.

Raise four.

I'll keep you on it.

Top train.

A pair of queens.

Possible flush.

No help.

Queens to bet.

Check.

Check.

Two pairs, aces up.

Two pairs, tens up.

Flushing.

Aces and nines to speak.

Check.

500.

Another raise.

Another thousand.

And another thousand.

Cool. Ah.

We'll buy another crown.

What?

I had you for the nines over.

Very cool.

You're having a bit of luck, your mate.

I don't know, Harry.

According to Morris, it's a game of skill.

You are a big winner, Morris, eh?

Big.

I'm up about three grand.

Long way to go. Keep them low, Nick.

Saw that car.

Then I don't want it.

Do I burn it?

It's a missed deal.

Shuffle, cut and deal again.

That's how it's ruled, isn't it?

Well, I don't think... Yes,

Mr. Prosser, I disagree.

New deal.

Okay, gentlemen.

King to bed.

Honey.

Straight flushing straightening no help eight nine. Sorry

a screen to bet Make it

pray

Straight flushing still no help

There are nines very nice to bet

400. Great

flashing.

Phil.

Three nines.

Looks nice, Morris.

It's got to be a grand.

Excuse me.

Make it three.

Okay. I've got to do it. Hey, just a minute. Don't mess around with the bank,

Nick. What do you mean?

I mean, don't mess around. Leave it alone.

The deal is over.

You're making me nervous.

Leave the card, Nick.

I've got to do it, Maurice.

What have you left there?

Four grand?

Yeah.

Well, that's the reason.

I got four of them.

But you're probably very lucky in love.

Stella?

Give us a brandy.

Do you want a drink, Harry?

17 ,000 pound money.

And you only started out with five grand.

We never had a bigger winner.

Well, Nick Delton, nice.

There you go, son.

Can we get a cab round here?

Oh, sure, sure.

Harry, cab for Mr. Microton.

Okay. You haven't got a carrier bag that you'll borrow, have you?

Too many cabs. Yeah.

Hathaway Drive, Hendon, Old Town.

Do you know where it is?

Okay, no English.

Just make the first bum call in the evening.

We wanted to go to London, not King's Cross.

Yeah, yeah, Henton.

Which way are you going then?

No English.

Right, it's over.

You're either going to get cropped or nicked.

Think, Wade.

We'll all go to London together, don't we, Zuba?

He's a blocker!

Against Gretel!

I want for Stella.

Morris?

Hello, town.

Oh, there. What is it, ribs?

Yeah, a dummy foot. How about you?

No, no, just fine. It's all right.

How do you feel?

Eight.

I've got to fix the ball with the doctor. I'll be out of this lot in ten

Tell you what, if you decide to play patience, you might need one of these.

Andy.

Do you want to tell me anything?

I told you.

All a good poker player needs is an edge.

What, up his sleeve? No.

Don't make me laugh.

It's killing me.

Look, come on in.

Oh, no. How do you manage it?

Remember the first time we went down to Greek Place?

Yeah, of course I do.

Well, I noticed the make of cards they were using.

Went out, bought a few decks, stashed the aces in my pockets.

Do you mean to tell me when we walked into that club, You had pocketfuls of

You were taking a bit of a challenge, weren't you?

Well, I only used them five times.

Five?! Well, I didn't want to be greedy.

Notice... Notice I won three nightbots with 80s up when I was supposed to be

second best, eh?

I think Nick was being into a tumblet by that last big hand.

He dealt me a flush.

Now, the second round of betting...

There were two aces on the table. Well, hey, anybody who paired with an ace of

spades in the hole was going to stick around for one more bet.

And when they didn't, I knew it was still in the pack.

Do you follow me?

No.

I shoved me own ace into me own hand, giving myself a royal flush.

I've got it.

That's why you threw all your cards on the table so quickly after you'd won.

Right. Held on to the ace, threw the other ones into the pack, so even if

had a quick count -up, he wasn't going to come across another ace.

Yeah, the rest of that driver?

No, no. He's in the ward next door.

No, I told the old Bill it wasn't his fault somebody else carved him up.

You've got a big art, Tell.

Leave it out. You took 12 grand off his powers.

I thought we'd done enough damage for one night.

Mind your ribs.

I'll tell you what, I'll pop in tomorrow, bring you some grapes.

Cheers. Won't forget it.

Yeah, tell.

Bring Arthur with you. I'll square him up.

Yeah, I'll be seeing him later.

Your motor!

What?

Tell, where's me clothes?

Me clothes?

Nurse! All right, all right. Nurse!

I'll find a nurse, all right?

One owner motor. I'm sure we could have gone for 8 ,250.

Now, be fair. It is my train.

Arthur! Arthur!

You're taking a right liberty, you know that?

Oh, a double liberty.

Twelve o 'clock, the man said.

It's only just gone, isn't it?

Twenty -two minutes past.

You're fast.

12, 22 and 48 seconds, Greenwich Mean Time. And I can tell you the time in New

Delhi on this piece.

You may notice we had a bit of trouble. We did a deal. We touched air. Oh, leave

it out.

Look, in business, I go by the book.

You know what you are, don't you?

Huh? What?

On your own.

Since when?

Since 12 .22 and however many seconds it says on your quartz intercontinental

barometer and timepiece.

Hello, Arthur. Hello, Maurice.

Norman, you've got the seven and the five in the wrong places.

Had a bit of luck?

Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, good night. Hang on to those.

Yeah, I've got the bread for you.

Now, the five grand I owe you, that's two of it.

There's the other three.

I want two hundred for the overnight parking.

And that's three from the other night.

I'm going to sit down here.

You've forgotten something.

What? Last night.

Oh, no, no.

Playtime already.

Oh.

Don't worry, you'll get yours.

I'm not worried.

Of course I'm not worried.

Are you all right?

Do you want anything?

No. A glass of water? No.

All this gambling luck.

Are you going to give it up now?

Oh, no.

I'm a winner.

You can't always be a winner, my lad.

You won a bet.

Checked out.

I wouldn't lay odds on that, Arthur.

You see, Morris always has an edge.

Here.

What did he pay you for last night?

If you want to, I'll change the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Yeah, I'd be so good for you. I'd be so good for you. I'm gonna help you. Love

you like you want me to.

I do.