Original subtitles

Hello.

Hey, fellas, help me get the stuff out of this trunk. I need it for... Oh, come

on, Joe.

Snap out of it. I just can't get her out of my mind.

Today would have been another anniversary.

My darling Fifi.

Oh, that was years ago. Come on, give us a hand. Oh, I guess you're right.

Yeah, fellas, we don't need these old uniforms.

Not this one.

I wore this when I met my Fifi.

What memories?

Wait a minute, Joe.

You're not the only one that has memories.

I have memories, too.

I was stationed in Italy eating hot dogs and waiting to be mustered out.

Well, one day I felt like eating spaghetti and meatballs, so I went to my

favorite restaurant.

They had a waitress there, Leilani Bajigalupi.

I called her Maria for short.

Delicious. Have a bite?

What a

sweetheart. I should have married that

girl. Why didn't you? She didn't ask me.

Hey, talk about memories.

I can see it as if it was happening today.

I was on two weeks' leave, and I wanted to find myself a private room.

Someone told me about one on the Wienerschnitzelstrasse.

Ah,

what's going on?

Oh, I'm sorry. You got a room for rent?

Room for rent? Yes, yes, yes. Come in, sir.

Come in.

I will get the mail and then I'll be right back. Okay, baby.

Nice.

you were scrubbing the floor. That's more dangerous than a foxhole.

Oh, I'm so glad to say I'm sorry.

Well, I'm not sorry, baby. You know, I really fell for you.

Ah, what a beautiful ring this is.

Do you like it? Yeah. That's the real McCoy.

Sixteen carats. I'll take it off so I can show it to you.

I'll get it, sister.

Give us a hand, will you?

What happened? See? The ring? It is here.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah.

felt for Katrina like a load of wienerwurst.

You guys were having fun, but with me it was serious.

I was on leave in Paris.

That's where I met my Fifi.

She used to show me the Paris sites.

Well, we used to meet every day at a little French cafe on the Rue du

Well, one day... Two orders of

Vichyssoise, two orders of frog legs, and two glasses of Bordeaux wine.

Two orders of everything for one man?

Oh, you see, I'm expecting... Eh?

Oh, Mr.

G .I. Joe, you eat too much.

Joe?

Fifi, darling.

I've been waiting for you.

I ordered already.

Do you look wonderful?

Fifi, how would you like to come with me to America?

America? Well, I do not know.

Tell me more.

I come from Brooklyn, where them bombs are.

Bombs? Bombs? They explode.

I'll say they explode. They fall apart.

To us.

Fifi, my Fifi.

I didn't do nothing. Oh,

it's a pooch. Go away, pooch. Go away.

Well, don't make another mistake. Fifi, marry me.

We say W -O -L, eh? I wrote the admiral for a ten -day extension.

Ten days?

I'll see that you get ten years. Don't try and make up.

I'll have you demoted to an M .P.

Oh, he is an M .P. All right, come on. No, Joe.

Joe.

Not so hard.

Goodbye, P .C. Joe.

Joe.

I left my heart with her on the root of the pew.

Well, I was shipped out to sea for a year. And when I came back... I couldn't

find my Fifi.

Someone said they thought she went to America.

You know, I'd give my right eye for just one glimpse of her. Oh, come on, Joe.

That's life.

Come on, fellas. Let's rehearse the new act. Oh, yeah. I start over here.

To be or not to be.

Hey, Larry.

What's the idea of rehearsing with gum in your mouth? Throw the gum away.

I'm sorry, Joe.

All right, all right. Pick it up from the sound effects. Okay.

All right already, all right, come in. I'm in. Can I speak to the lady of the

house? Please, excuse me, gentlemen.

I've lucked out and I... That sounds like Fifi's voice.

Pinch me, see if I'm dreaming.

Ow, not so hard.

Fifi! Oh, these shoes.

My sweetheart, darling.

Oh, no, Joe. I'm married.

A long time.

I was afraid you would never come back.

My Fifi married?

Only this morning, my husband and I, we moved in across the hall from you. I

can't take it.

I'll never let you go. I'll never let you go.

Hey, Larry, make some cocktails. We're going to...

laugh too. Sure, don't get excited.

I'm all right. I'm all right.

Pepe, the landlady must be out. There's no answer.

Joe!

Joe, bring me a towel.

Okay, Mo.

Oh, Moe, what did you do here? Clean yourself out.

There,

that's got it. Hey, Joe, come here.

Oh, all right, all right. I just have four hands. Help him.

What do you want?

Get me some cocktail glasses, will you?

Cocktail glasses? Oh, boy.

Green of the... Moe,

you're all stuck up.

I'll stuck you up.

Sorry, Moe.

What happened?

With you, a cocktail shaker's a weapon. Let me have it.

Let me have it.

Oh, my Fifi.

You stooped.

He made me do it. You're a snitch.

Oh, my dress.

I'm going to explain it to my husband.

Well, go take your dress off. There's a pair of pajamas in the bedroom. You put

them on and we'll dry your dress.

Thank you too much.

Hey, go heat an iron. Yeah, hey, go heat an iron. Shut up.

Not so loud.

Now, go heat an iron.

Don't press me.

I told him that's good for him, so that's bad for me.

Now, behave yourself. Don't you strike me.

I was a cocktail out, but I... Oh, I'll have Larry press that in a hurry.

Oh, my dear, I must get back to my apartment before my husband gets home.

wild man, and he's mean to me. Why, that skunk. Come on, step on it. It was your

fault in the first place.

Wait a minute. Don't talk to me that way. I'm superstitious.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you something.

I smell something awful.

Well, don't brag.

I'll go get it. Hurry up, Joe. Get it. Oh, I'm so worried. Well, don't worry.

He's going to get the key.

It won't be minutes, will it? We'll have it back in there.

Baby, open the door. It's me.

What did I do?

Hey, quick. In the trunk.

Hurry up. Baby, open the door.

Fellas, can I use you for a minute? The line's busy. Come on. Take a second.

Yesterday only Abel said. What?

Yesterday only Abel said.

answer. She's not home.

Oh, uh, thanks for the use of the phone, fellas. That's okay.

Hey!

Pardon me, but your shirt tail is hanging out.

Oh, careless of me.

Hey, that's a funny shirt you're wearing.

White in front and flowered in back.

Well, it's a new style.

Yeah. Ivy League.

Ivy League. Oh.

Fellas, I got it. I got it.

Where's Fifi? Shh.

Fifi? Fifi?

That's our dog.

Don't you call her a dog.

Well, she's a Fifi. I mean, she's French. A French poodle.

Australian, German, Swiss. On the other side. And they don't grow very large.

Just like a little mouse. Teeny like that. Squeak, squeak, squeak. She can

anywhere. That's Fifi's husband.

Oh, her husband.

Oh, her husband.

Here, Fifi. Fifi!

Oh, Fifi!

Oh, Fifi!

No!

Hey, fellas, I just remembered.

Fifi went to see a dog about a man.

Oh.

You know, it's a funny thing. My wife's name is Fifi.

Your wife's name... What a coincidence.

His wife's name's Fifi. What a coincidence.

Fifi! He has the same name as Fifi. Well, I guess I'll be running along.

Oh, that wife of mine isn't home.

I just moved in across the hall today.

And that stupid wife of mine went away and...

Well, why don't you sort of... Hey, why don't you see the landlady about another

key? Hey, I got a headache.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Good idea. Thanks.

Well, bye.

So long. Get together.

Break a leg.

Quick. We better

get Fifi back to her apartment before her husband gets back.

Get the trunk.

Okay.

I'll open up the door. Hey,

fellas,

can I see you a minute, please?

Okay. It's okay. Let him in.

Oh, the landlord's gone. I was thinking maybe your key would open my apartment.

Oh, no, that's impossible.

Our key was made out of a little piece of steel.

When I get my hands on that wife of mine, I'll break her neck. I wish I'd

married her. Me, too.

I mean, why don't you get a divorce?

I intend to.

I've got my next wife all picked out. I'm a little sick of this one. Oh,

ma 'am. Oh, you sly dogs.

Why didn't you tell me you had a... Lady!