Original subtitles

Hello.

Hey, Joe, why don't you... Don't interrupt.

Are you still reading that reincarnation stuff?

Why, certainly.

Bertie and I both believed in reincarnation. But our little sister

dead for over a year.

Yeah, but the Swami says right here that we return to this earth in some other

form. Perhaps an animal or a bird or even an insect.

Could be.

Drat that fly.

Don't. Don't swat that fly.

You may be hurting Bertie.

Bertie, is that you?

I guess not.

Bertie, my long -departed little sister, you promised to come back. If you'd

only send me a message or a sign or something before I go crazy.

Hey, Mo, we gotta do something about Joe before he flips his lid completely.

Yeah. Hey, I gotta... Gosh, Bertie, if you'd just let me hear from you.

Bertie. Joe.

Joe, dear, listen.

Bertie, Bertie, is that you?

Yes, dear.

This is Bertie.

Now, you must be patient until I return.

But, but, but when, Bertie? When are you coming back?

Where will I meet you?

Well, I, uh, today.

This afternoon, five o 'clock.

On Crown Street near Third.

That's, that's wonderful, honey. I'll be there.

I'm so excited.

Poor Joe. He really idolized our little sister.

You know something? I think he lost his marbles.

Yesterday, he imagined he was a chicken.

We better send him to an institution.

Oh, we can't do that. Why not? We need the eggs.

What's that?

Oh, that's a hammer. Stop with the joke. Come on, Odie.

Boy, am I excited.

It's 5 o 'clock, and we're almost at Crown and 3rd Street. Come on, fellas.

Hurry.

Come on, hurry, fellas. Hurry.

Not again.

That wasn't me. It wasn't? No.

Hi, Larry.

Hi, Moe.

Hi.

Joe. Joe, dear. It's Bertie.

Joe. Here.

Well, don't just stand there. It's me, Bertie.

Bertie. But... Hey, sis, it is you. I'd know those ears anywhere.

Moe, Larry, gosh, I'm happy.

Where's the wristwatch I gave you?

Where it belongs, silly.

I needed you. You've come back.

But, Bertie, you're a horse.

So who did you expect?

Kim Novak?

Oh, I don't care what you are. You're coming home with us. But I can't go home

with you, Joe.

Why, sis? Why not?

Because I'm in love with another horse.

Oh, horse feathers.

You're not going to break up our little family again.

You're coming home with us for a little while anyhow.

No, no.

Okay, down on the end there. That a boy. I'm getting mad.

Oh, Bertie, that hurts.

Now, don't aggravate yourself.

Remember your indigestion.

Oh, my stomach is killing me.

You upset me. I knew that. I was afraid of that.

Now, Bertie, relax.

That'll hold it. Let's get to work.

This was your idea.

Get out of here.

Walk quietly, Bertie.

On your tiptoes.

Now remember, you're only going to stay a few minutes.

Come on, Bertie.

Easy does it.

No worries now.

I hope the landlord didn't hear us.

Wait a minute.

Quiet, Bertie. Fellow.

I can't stay.

Well, here we are, Bertie, in our new home.

I'm surprised at you.

Bertie, you stop this nonsense. Act like a lady.

Let me out of here. I'll kick the place down.

Thank you very much for the care.

What's going on up there?

You idiots, we ran it too upstairs.

Yes, that's all. But I'm going to go up and tell them... Oh,

Papa.

Now take me back to my wagon.

Take me back. What's the matter with you, Bertie?

Oh, oh, oh, my stomach is killing me. Well, take it easy. I got some wonderful

stomach pills.

Hurry up and get them.

this pill.

I can't swallow pills?

No, you're stubborn as a mule, but I'm ready for you. Here, I'll help you blow

it in. Now, open your mouth. Come on, Bertie. That's a good girl. Come on,

your mouth.

I've stung.

Good. Good for you. What happened?

Bertie blew first.

Bertie, you're bad.

I'm going upstairs and give those guys two pieces of my mind.

Gosh, Bertie, you sure draw flies.

Lucky I got some flypaper.

Wise guy, always sounding off. There.

Open the door. Peter's here, the landlord.

The landlord. Quick, put 20 in the bedroom. Hurry up.

Easy, easy, guys.

Now. What's the matter with you?

Why you don't come to the door? And what is with the plaster falling down and

the tramping around here like a horse?

We got no horse here. We were dancing.

You was dancing, but the flat smells like a horse.

Be quiet.

I want to go home.

He'll hear you.

It's my bronchitis. Awfully

bad this time of the year.

It does not sound like bronchitis to me.

Well, maybe it's because I'm a little hoarse today.

Get out of here. Shut up.

Again with the term being, and that was not you.

You see, Mr. Dicklesfield, there's nobody here.

I wish I hadn't come here.

Be good and we'll take you home tomorrow, okay?

Okay, I'll stay.

Tomorrow, sure.

Larry. Yeah?

Get Bertie into the closet, hurry up.

Don't you tell me about a ticket he made in October here. Please, please, relax.

Oh, that's you.

Fellow, stop.

What are you doing that for?

Shh, you bastard.

I'll find you wherever you are. I'll schmell you out. Oh, wait, wait, Mr.

Ticklespeel.

Hello.

You sly little devil, you.

So it was a lady, huh? Yeah, my girlfriend.

Well, now, Mr. Ticklespeel, everything is all right. Yeah, everything except my

glasses, my spectacles. I lose them. And I can't find... Here, here, here. Just

a minute. Here they are.

Oh, you found them?

I found them. Well, that's nice. Now I can see... Nothing.

Please. Okay, we'll see you in the morning. Yeah, but I don't see if you're

good. Something must have got... Good night.

Good night.

You know something?

It's dark out...

Oh, shut up. You give me a pain.

Boy, that was an arrow escape. Quick thinking, fellas.

Boy, no wonder Dinkelspiel said the place smells like a horse. Bertie,

going to get a bath.

Man, Hal, you need it. Come on. Yeah, come on.

You guys don't smell like lilies either.

Bertie, when we get through with you, you'll look like a pewter dollar in a

hole. This I like. Hey, the drugstore was open.

fixed up in a minute.

Wayne will fix you up real nice, Bertie.

Everything will be all right.

It'll shine.

Why don't you watch what you're doing with that water? Oh, a little water

gonna hurt you. It ain't gonna hurt you either.

Quit horsing around, you guys. We got to clean her up. Okay.

Okay. Hey, Bertie, go get me a towel.

Okay.

Hurry, come on.

Thanks, Bertie. You're a doll. I'll dry you off so you won't catch cold.

Now we'll get this water.

And this.

Hey, Larry. What?

Oh, I'm sorry, Moe. I didn't mean to... Get a towel to dry that face off.

Ask me nice.

That's nice enough.

There it is.

Now she looks like my ex -mother -in -law.

My bow looks pretty.

I got the cologne on her.

If my horse friends saw me like this, they'd give you what for.

Bet they'd laugh at me.

Never mind your friends.

Look, Joe, I told you things are different.

I'm a horse now, and that's not all. The fact is... I'm going to have a baby.

Oh, my goodness.

A baby.

Oh, Joe, please do something quick. I'm about to become a mother any minute. And

for goodness sake, hurry.

Hurry. Oh, Larry.

Get some hot water. Plenty of hot water. The cotton and the first aid kit.

Hurry. Just don't stand there. Hurry.

Bertie, take it easy.

Oh, boy.

Oh. Easy now. Oh, Joe.

Don't worry. Everything will be all right.

I feel so tired.

Gosh, it's hot.

I'm warm.

Bertie, you want to catch cold? Now, you just take it easy now.

Just be good now.

Joe, hurry.

What happened? What the Sam Hill?

No. Stupid idiot.

Who left that chariot away? I'll kill him later.

Hey, Joe.

Here. Yeah.

Put on this mask.

Open this can of ether. You're the anesthetist.

Don't call me names.

Where's that moment? All right.

All right.

I'm sorry, Bo. I didn't know you were behind there. It was strictly an

There it is. You okay?

Yeah. It didn't matter what you... Just what I wanted.

Here, Papa, drink your milk. It will make you sleep.

Yeah, thank you.

I drink the milk.

Good night.

Papa, don't sleep here. Go to bed.

Hurry. Look, Joe.

What's the matter with him?

Take these.

Why, the sap, he knocked himself out with the ether. The can's empty.

I'll bring him, too. Come here, kid.

What happened?

Bertie! Bertie! She's alone.

She's alone.

Bertie, we're coming.

Yeah, we're here.

You're too late.

Oh, my goodness.

A baby.

Boy, was I dreaming, and how.

Oh, what a dream.

Well, I'm glad that's over with.

Gee whiz. Come on, boy, scram. I want to set the table for dinner.

Oh, Bernie, am I glad to see you. I had a terrible dream. I dreamt that you were

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