Original subtitles

Urania to have air supremacy.

Professor Sneed's super rocket fuel nears completion.

Will power world's fastest aircraft.

We must get this rocket fuel formula for our country by hook or crook. Right.

Without aircraft supremacy, anemia could never conquer Urania.

You and Klutz must visit this Professor Sneed. Understand?

Yes, Excellency. I will make the necessary preparations.

And I will make necessary preparations.

My golly, that's good. Tastes like rotten eggs.

Boys,

we gotta be careful to make sure nobody followed us. Right.

That dame looks suspicious.

You better follow her. Right.

This is it.

Government of Urania.

Department of Inferior.

Come in.

Operator number five. Good.

I've been expecting you.

Make yourselves at home.

Thank you. We will.

Pardon me.

Ready? Give.

She said, make yourself at home, not obnoxious. Oh, quit kidding, Toots. You

know you loved it. Give me another kiss.

Oh,

what a kisser. Oh, glad you appreciate it.

Yes. Let me see your hand.

Certainly. Oh, nice.

Hey, that was mean.

Come on, be nice. Give me another kiss.

Uh, sure, why not?

You pooch, and I'll pucker.

Yes, sir. Ma 'am.

Now, you have been ordered to protect Professor Sneed, the eminent scientist.

You will work undercover.

Yes, yes. We will work under covers.

Neither he nor anyone else must know who you are.

You will go to his new house and pretend you are carpet layers.

Wait a minute. I can't lay carpets. Why not? I'm not that rugged.

Get it?

Carpets rugged?

find Shepard, get over to Professor Sneed's. Number seven. Seven.

Come on.

Professor Sneed's new house. I watched from here when he moved in yesterday.

we have him cornered at last.

By now, his super rocket fuel should be perfected. Yes, I think we can persuade

him to give us the formula.

Ah, there he is now.

There's no mistaking that magnificent head of hair.

Hiya, Professor.

Got nothing to worry about. My man will have his job done in a couple of hours.

Good.

Whose man?

Us men.

That's better.

Come on, start cutting.

Swallow the touch.

I'll... I'll... I'll be doggone.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Father,

step into the laboratory. I've discovered something interesting.

Just a moment, dear. I want you men to finish up as quickly as possible.

My work, shall we say, is highly secret.

Forget my name. Forget you ever came here. Is that clear? You betcha. We

breathe a word. Good.

Thank you, boys.

Take this tape over to the other wall.

How many feet you got?

Two.

You skillet head. Give me that tape.

I'm sorry, Moe. You asked for it. You asked for it, too.

But we'll forget it.

Get to nailing.

Yes, sir.

Gladly.

They're getting a cellar here.

When the professor comes out of the house, we'll capture him. You will take

to Anemia.

Leon and I will remain at the embassy.

Yes, sir.

Well, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Look, the professor has two assistants.

Good. We'll take them, too.

Well, grab a bite of lunch and hurry back. We mustn't be gone too long.

Where'd those guys go? There was here a few... Let

go! My leg, you're breaking it!

Guard, gentlemen.

What a joint.

Reminds me of the reform school.

Oh, did you stumble, Professor?

Anything wrong, Professor? No, I'm all right.

Guard.

Follow this soldier, gentlemen. He will lead you to the laboratory.

Say, I beg your pardon. Do you have any idea what we're doing?

Now that you mention it, no.

Why don't you tell the general he ain't Professor Sneed? He couldn't invent no

rocket fuel in a million years. I beg your pardon? Wait a minute, you

ignoramuses. If they find out we're undercover men, they'll go back and grab

real professor. We gotta make them think we're really mixing rocket fuel or

they'll shoot us.

Now we gotta pull them, Savvy.

You're right. It's our duty to posterior.

I wonder what this'll do.

Pyrogallic acid.

Say, that axe might be powerful.

Yeah. If they put that in an aeroplane, something's bound to happen.

Get some more stuff.

Okay, okay.

How'd that build get in here?

You don't know my sleep, my jug, you jughead.

Hey, it's burning the wood. Put it out, somebody.

Larry, Larry, put the fire out.

Larry, come on.

Hey, it's strong enough. Let's cork it. Here's the cork. Okay, kid.

Top of the morning to you, Captain. And the rest of the day for myself.

Ah, but there's good news today.

Yes? You have the super rocket fuel?

You said it. With that stuff, a plane can go 1 ,400 miles an hour. In low

Splendid, splendid. I congratulate you, Professor.

Oh, think nothing of it. You should give me the formula.

Oh, yes, the formula. Why, sure, sure.

Tell him, Professor.

Oh, yeah.

Tell him. Me?

Well, uh, first you put in a half a pint of ecto -whoses. Ecto -whoses? No, no.

Ecto -whatses. Whatses.

Um, and four grams of al -kabob. Ah, so?

Then you pour in the shish -kabob. Shish -kabob?

Then you fold in the jigger of, uh, sanscroponia. Ah, sanscroponia.

Say, did I give you carbolic acid?

I'd love to.

Put down a squirt of haritan.

Spelled sidewards, it's, uh, taharitan.

How do you spell this, sir?

That's right. Put it down.

It means you captured three impostors. You've done that.

This is Professor Sleet.

Yes, and unless you give us that formula at once, you, your daughter, and your

friends all will be shot.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't help you.

You see, General, my father has a very poor memory.

I've got a little booklet here on how to train your memory in five easy lessons.

Pardon me.

Quiet. Thank you.

Don't point.

Here.

Perhaps a night in the dungeon will refresh your memory.

Take them away.

March.

March!

What is it, Ben? It's a matter of time. Go ahead. All right. Both heads round.

Beep, beep!

Beep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I don't know what to do, how to get out of this

thing.

Look, boys.

We got to get the keys to the cell below from this guy and release the

professor. Now look, we'll straighten the whole thing out, right?

Chimp, guard the door.

Routine number six. Okay.

I personally brought you your last meal before you are shot.

Eat hearty.

Pig's feet smothered in lubricating oil. Raw potatoes boiled in pure varnish.

and head cheese garnished with nails.

Rusty nails!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Now, these are the keys to the cell below.

We've got to get down there somehow.

Yeah, but there's a guard outside.

I got it.

That rocket fuel we made, it'd burn a hole in the table. It'll burn a hole in

the floor.

Right. You know, he's the most intelligent imbecile I ever saw.

Hey, how about me?

Oh, you're much smarter. You're just an imbecile. Here it is, fellas.

Get busy and make that hole. We'll watch the door. Come on.

Are you all right?

That's an awful wallop.