Original subtitles

This report's all wrong.

This report's all right, because I made it out. Oh, that's what's wrong with it.

Shut up.

Champ, how we doing? Any new clues?

Not yet. This test will prove plenty, though.

Larry, get the pistol. We'll make a ballistics test.

Champ, get me that Smith toupee.

Smith toupee? Yeah. Sure, hold this. Fine.

Gee, thanks, Bill.

Sorry, kid.

Relax. Sit down. I can't. The tube is...

What's the idea of taking so long? Where's the toupee? Where did you file

Well, I... Oh, I remember now. I filed Smith's toupee under D.

What's the idea of filing it under D? It had dandruff.

Why, you imbecile.

Leave the imbecile alone.

Remind me to kill you later. I won't have time later.

Then I'll kill you now.

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Why, you... I'll mash you.

Why, I'll... Oh, look!

Look!

I told you that thing had dandruff.

Leaping dandruff. Hey, it's alive.

Get something and kill it. Kill it!

Wait a minute.

I'll kill it. Don't shoot.

We gotta test that gun to see if it's the murder weapon. You're right. This

may solve the crime.

Yeah, but wait a minute. If it doesn't... We haven't got time to wait.

late now.

Hey, Shem's got a point there. If we... If, if, if. We've got to find out right

away.

Well... Be careful with that thing.

Who threw that?

What's the matter with you?

Come in.

Oh, a new newsboy girl, eh? Baby, you can put your papers here any day.

And how. She's beautiful.

Councilman Goodrich threatened with death.

Promise to clean up vice and corruption brings threat from racketeers.

Councilman Goodrich? Yeah, we did some investigating for him.

Hello. Hello.

Is this the Miracle Detective Agency?

Yes.

The harmony's bad. We didn't have time to rehearse.

Who is this?

Oh, this is Councilman Goodrich.

My niece inveigled me to come to her country estate, and I fell for it.

I'm convinced she and her husband are mixed up in rackets, and I'm fearful for

my life.

You don't say. He did say.

Quiet.

Where are you, Mr. Goodrich?

I'm at 1313 Hysteria Terrace. You drive up Murder Gulch Highway along Bloody

Creek till you come to Dead Man's Curve. Then you turn right on Poison Bend Road

till you come to the cemetery. Pass the cemetery to Skeleton Flats and up

Hysteria Terrace.

Good grief.

What a place to be stuck in.

Don't let them kill you till we get there. We'll be right over.

Get the camera.

No, wait a minute. We have to establish the time first. Look at your watch.

Okay, but you have to wait till I go to the pawn shop.

No way.

Hey, what does your watch say?

It don't say anything. You gotta look at it.

See that?

Here we are.

I feel a lot safer already.

neatly done, Nico.

Take him away.

But, sir, Mr. Goodrich phoned.

The detectives are on their way. Detectives? That's not good. Don't

sweet. They won't stay long.

Sleeping pills.

The permanent kind.

Stand where you are. We're detectives. What's going on around here?

Search the suspect.

Suspect? Butler's always a suspect. Hold it for a still.

Sure. Okay. I think he moved. Wait a minute.

What'd you find?

Only this.

Why, you... Oh!

Hold it!

Your watch.

Please.

Would you step in here, please?

Boy, what a creepy -looking joint. Small place for a murder.

Don't talk like that. Nothing's going to happen. Absolutely not. Oh, come on.

He's right. What could happen? I guess I'm just the nervous type, I guess.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

We're detectives. Mr. Goodridge sent for us.

Oh, I'm his niece.

The niece is nice.

Hold on.

We're here on business.

I mean business.

Oh, wait a minute.

Why, you... Hold it. You know what this means. You can't give it a... Hold a

glass.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid something dreadful has happened. Uncle has disappeared.

No. He was sitting right over there.

Suddenly, I heard a scream. All right, call me, will you?

Then he was gone.

Well, don't worry.

We'll take care of everything.

We'll find fingerprints. Get the camera ready.

Come on, Eagle.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Get that letter. Which one?

That one.

Go on over and look for fingerprints.

Oh, look at that. It's got that problem about the dreadnought. But I'll fix

that. Stop down a quarter of a mile. That's about right.

Somebody left some hypo in there.

Highly polished mahogany.

And termites.

With big blue eyes.

Get out of here.

Fingerprints. Right. Ready with the camera. Coming right up.

Aha. Fingerprints.

What a doll.

No! Move!

Larry, help! There was a ugly -looking thing staring right at me. It was

horrible. What do you know? It was you.

Yo, Ember, so we're getting no place fast.

May I make a suggestion?

Sure, surely.

Why not separate and search the place?

What an idea. Brilliant.

Well, certainly. One of you come with me.

Yes, I'm coming.

Wait a minute. I heard what the lady said. Come on.

Leave is leave, my sweet.

Oh, don't you raise your hand to me.

Now, don't you go get yourselves murdered.

Oh, don't worry about us. Murder?

Tie me loose, like I told Shep.

There's nothing to be afraid of, not a thing. Of course not. Then spread out.

Let's have a little drink.

Oh, boy, that's for me.

Now, don't go away.

Oh, I won't.

Oh,

nice picture.

Yes, isn't it?

So natural, it'll look like the trees moved.

Yes, sir, I sure enjoy good pictures.

Well, then, I'm sure you'll like that one.

Oh, yes, nice.

Very nice.

But you know, I like that one much better.

Oh, you do, do you?

It's by a very famous painter.

The same one who painted that one.

Oh, charming.

Charming. But my favorite is that one.

It is lovely.

Yes, it is lovely.

Well, cheerio.

A couple of pip -pips, a little barbecue and what have you.

A short life and a merry one.

You ain't kidding.

How do you feel, kiddo? Fine, fine.

And you?

Oh, great. I never felt better in my life. I'll never forget that.

Take it easy. Take it easy, kid. What happened? What's the matter? That dame,

she tried to poison me.

She's gone.

Uh -oh. I'm scared. Let's get out of here. Come on.

Hey,

the phone. Let's call the cops. Help!

Help!

He's dead. We're in a tough spot, man. Yeah, it's going to take brains to get

out of here.

That's why I said we're in a tough spot.

Shut up. This is no time for singing.

UGH!

nothing but a nitwit. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

I'll let go.

I guess

that

takes care of handsome Harold.

Boy, you're a genius.

Nice work, kid. Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing at all.

I'll never forget the first time I saved a couple of guys. It was in a pool

room.

Cindy says, stick him up.

I says, nothing scares me.

Will you cut it out? Cut it out.

He says, yeah. And I says, yeah, right back at him. Give him a... What's the

matter with you? I'm tired. Will you go and... Ah!

No! Larry!

A corpus! A corpus!

It's old man Goodrich!