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That's a police car. Half the time it's
our home and our office. The three of us
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work together. We're cops.
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I'm Halliday.
4
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I'm Charaday.
5
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I'm St.
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Patrick's Day.
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When we first started out, I never
thought we'd be three fingers on the arm
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the law. I'm the first finger.
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I'm the second finger.
10
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I'm the hangnail.
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Quiet, mongoose.
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He always interrupts. These are the
facts, nothing but the facts.
13
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It happened several years ago. At that
time, we were in the army.
14
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Right in the midst of a rough, tough
battle, we were surrounded fighting for
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00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:08,000
lives. We were fighting a rearguard
action. It's the only action we know how
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00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
fight.
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My rifle's jammed!
18
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Hey, fellas, we gotta knock out that
machine gun nest. They got us pinned
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I'm just not hungry. You carry on
without me.
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out the machine gun nest.
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Oh!
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Gotta need a nap while I'm hungry.
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A nap.
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Too sore.
25
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Gotta knock out the machine gun.
26
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Oh, another apple.
27
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Too hard.
28
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It's raining.
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That's my luck.
30
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He did it. Come on.
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Oh, boy, you did it. You did it. Larry,
old boy, you knocked a machine gun nest
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out cold. Single -handed. You're the
hero.
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be promoted for this.
34
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,820
Hey, what are we doing out here?
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Tonight can get killed. Run for your
life!
36
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I'm Halliday.
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I'm Taraday.
38
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,660
I'm Groundhog Day.
39
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,640
When we got out of the army, we decided
to go to college. We were natural born
40
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,700
detectives, so we took up the study of
criminology.
41
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,460
I see you've decided to major in
criminology.
42
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That's right, ma 'am. All we want is the
facts, ma 'am. We chose criminology
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because it's scientific.
44
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:36,360
Indeed. In the lexicon of crime, it is
theoretically propounded that passion...
45
00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:40,010
inhibition, and delinquency are the
major contributing factors.
46
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:44,530
Not to mention corruption of mind,
detestations, and schizophrenia, if I
47
00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:45,890
so sesquipedalian.
48
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A jerk with a quake may do the work, or
a tyke with a dyke may stick a clank.
49
00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:52,070
Good result?
50
00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:53,370
Very paraphrastic.
51
00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:54,770
Viva! Viva!
52
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Viva! Viva! Good!
53
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Good! Good!
54
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,470
Viva! Viva! Viva!
55
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:05,550
Viva! Gentlemen, the registration fee
will be $25 each. Coming right up.
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00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,780
There you are. There you are. And there
you are.
57
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,260
Here's a transfer.
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That's in case I want to transfer to
another class.
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Quiet, titmouse.
60
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,680
Thank you, gentlemen.
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00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:05,000
By the way, I conduct some of the
classes in criminology myself.
62
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,860
I think you'll find it very interesting.
63
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,140
I'm interested already.
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Me too.
65
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,870
Pardon me, gentlemen. I'll be right
back.
66
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:21,630
I told you to lay off.
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00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:25,130
The next time you do that, I'll whack
you right in the head.
68
00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:30,650
Nail him.
69
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:37,390
Drop that. Put that bill down. What in
the world are you doing? I told you we
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00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:40,570
were natural -born detectives. We caught
this crook robbing you. You fool.
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00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,650
He's my father, the dean of this
college.
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Don't you two imbeciles know a gentleman
when you see one? Oh.
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See that? Oh. Ow.
74
00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:51,130
See that?
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00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:52,970
Oh. See that? Oh.
76
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:55,770
Now, you guys prepare for 81C.
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Not that. Not that. 81C.
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00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,670
81C. Go.
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00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:00,710
Oh. Oh. Oh.
80
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,050
Oh.
81
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:03,290
Oh.
82
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,570
I'm Halliday.
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I'm Taraday.
84
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:14,850
I'm New Year's.
85
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,580
By this time, we were well along with
our criminology studies.
86
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,660
One day, we were receiving private
instructions from Alma Mater.
87
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In placing handcuffs on a criminal, it
must be done quickly, the speed being in
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the wrist.
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00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,020
I'll show you.
90
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,260
I have to leave early today, and I want
you boys to practice for about an hour,
91
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,480
and I'll see you in the morning.
92
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,220
All right, teacher. All right, come on,
let's get started.
93
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,460
Hold still.
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00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,020
Let me try it.
95
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,300
Do it to me.
96
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,680
Sure, I'll do it to you.
97
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,280
Keep.
98
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,580
There. Good. Now, let's open them up and
try it again.
99
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:55,359
Give me the key.
100
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,480
She forgot to give us the key.
101
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,399
Hey, hey.
102
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,140
Hey, she ain't coming back till tomorrow
morning. How do you like that? Well, we
103
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,780
gotta get out of here. Wait a minute.
104
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,540
Easy, easy. All right, all right. There
it is.
105
00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:06,639
You see?
106
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,020
Now, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. I
know, I know, I know. Now, down, fellas,
107
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,079
down, boy.
108
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,300
That's it. Now, I get through this.
109
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:13,580
Wait, wait.
110
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:21,200
Come on, get down.
111
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:55,060
I'm Taraday. I'm Christmas Day. Jingle
bells, jingle bells, jingle bells.
112
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,380
Oh, I'll tell Santa Claus on you.
113
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,540
Well, we finished our courses in
criminology. And we graduated with the
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00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:04,540
possible honors.
115
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,880
Now we were ready for our first case.
Yep, our first case.
116
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,940
Make mine gin, make mine champagne. Yum,
yum.
117
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:12,340
Boys,
118
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:18,560
I want you to pay strict attention.
119
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,769
Yes, yes.
120
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:22,870
There's a robber by the name of the Eel,
the Slippery Cuss. Yes, yes.
121
00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:25,350
He masquerades as a woman, but he smokes
cigars.
122
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,270
Yes, yes. We have a tip. He's going to
hold up the Biltless Hotel tonight at 8
123
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,910
'clock. Stake out and get him.
124
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,189
Yes, yes.
125
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:33,470
Now, if you fail, you're through.
126
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:38,390
Yes, yes. No, we'll get him. The only
clue we have is this cigar butt.
127
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:39,830
That's his brand.
128
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,110
Now, get busy.
129
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,470
Let's examine this cigar, Shemp. What
does it say?
130
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:46,970
L -A -S -T, last.
131
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,340
I -N -N -K -A -D -O -R -A.
132
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,800
Kedora. Last in Kedora. Let me see that.
133
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,180
Now, now, you nitwit.
134
00:09:56,380 --> 00:10:00,200
It's lost in Kedora. Come on,
bloodhound. You gotta track him down.
135
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,340
nose. Here, smell it.
136
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,480
Got it? And how?
137
00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:08,440
Come on, over here and get started.
138
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,600
episode. Oh, that's me. What's that?
What, Momstick?
139
00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:56,080
Oh. Come on, let's get him.
140
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,060
I'm Holiday.
141
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,380
I'm Taraday.
142
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,160
I'm Independent Day.
143
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,180
Fool you, didn't I?
144
00:11:23,630 --> 00:11:24,670
Fool me too.
145
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:32,310
That eel was a slippery one. We trailed
him to a room upstairs.
146
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,370
We pushed the door open and rushed in.
147
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:37,030
Come out. Come out. Wherever you are.
148
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:38,289
Get up.
149
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,290
What you got today?
150
00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:40,630
Get over here.
151
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:46,910
And don't make any phony moves or I'll
blow your brains out. I'll be watching
152
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:47,910
you all the time.
153
00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:50,810
Hey, somebody's rattling dice.
154
00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:52,370
Oh, that's my knees.
155
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,270
in here someplace. Look around. See what
you can find. Yes, sir.
156
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:09,610
Oh, boy.
157
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:10,890
I found something.
158
00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:12,609
Come here.
159
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:13,970
Why don't you cut it out? Oh.
160
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:15,790
Hey, let's look in there.
161
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:20,650
Well, I guess he didn't come in here.
162
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:28,210
Find kettle of fish. We're in a lady's
Turkish bath.
163
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:31,070
Well, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
164
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:34,300
Use these sheets. Oh, disguised as
girls. Oh, lipstick.
165
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:35,860
That's a purple one.
166
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:42,560
Luella, shall we take a sun bath?
167
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,600
No, no, Larietta. Let us take a
scrambola.
168
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,340
Not me. I want to linger with the rest
of the girls. You dear, you.
169
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,680
Doge!
170
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,140
I've been expecting you. You're just in
time for your appointment.
171
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,760
Now sit right down here, and we'll get
the mud pack right on.
172
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:21,260
I love your bang.
173
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,860
Oh, boy, a safety belt.
174
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:04,020
I'd better get out of here.
175
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,490
Get on that horse! Don't give me any of
them blips!
176
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,240
Then let's labor.
12892
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