Original subtitles

Troubadours, one, two, three, why did my lady send for we?

Poor Princess Elaine is brokenhearted. You must cheer her up. Fear not, we'll

have a split in the sides. Indeed, east side, west side, front side, and back

again.

Receive and proceed.

Good morning to thee, fair princess.

Weep not or you'll get bags.

We hope to bring thee laughter with buffoonery and gags.

Ah, fair princess.

Wherefore art thou, fair princess?

Here I art, art.

What wilt thou with me?

I will feed my beautiful flower.

Boy, are you ugly.

Go on.

Oh, yes. For thy father has promised me thy hand in marriage.

Oh, no. I love another.

Nut. Unhand my lash, you brazen ass.

Be gone, you scrabblehead. She has promised to me.

has pledged my hand to the Black Prince. But I love Cedric, the village smithy.

Oh, if you could but help me.

We will indeed, fair princess, but where can we find Cedric, this village

blacksmith? Under the spreading chestnut tree.

Around the corner, by the pawn shop, at Pittsfield in Townsylvania.

Oh, fear not. You will be in his arms every morning.

Oh! Why, you iron head.

I feel like a sardine. All right.

Wait a minute. Let us not linger. The blacksmith can help us out of this.

If I only had a can opener.

Come on, this way. Had a can opener, I'd open your head.

Come over here and hold still.

Really caught.

Loosen it up.

If you weren't so dumb, this never would have happened.

Fine thing.

Hold that.

Now we'll have to bust you out of that hard way. Bend over there.

Now hold still.

Always clowning around. Out of my way, will you?

Bend over there.

Stand where you are.

Oh, I can't. Are you kidding?

Which one of you is Cedric the blacksmith?

Not me.

We're three troubadours on the way to the court of King Arthur.

Troubadours? Yes, singing and dancing like this. One, two, three.

So we stuck our little tootsies in the water and we jumped under the waves we

did.

That hurt.

If you see Cedric the Smith, report the news to the Black Prince and you'll be

well rewarded.

He is sworn to have Cedric's head.

What does he want Cedric's head for? Ain't he got one of his own? You dope,

heads are better than one.

You idiots.

They're gonna give him a haircut down to here.

I'd hate to be in his shoes. I'd hate to be in his collar. I'd hate to be him.

I still don't understand why he wants to kill Cedric.

I'll tell you why.

Because I, Cedric, dare to love the fair Princess Elaine.

That's Cedric. Hey, Cedric, you got nothing to worry about. We got a plan

tonight. Now, you're indeed my benefactor.

I don't know how to thank you.

Oh.

How can I thank you? Oh, not again. It's all right.

Now, here's the plan. You and the three of us go into the palace grounds. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Big boy is here. We see the coast is clear. He wants to see you.

So come out on your front porch.

Balcony and nuthead, ain't you got no romance? I could have said veranda, but

said porch.

Take the princess to my room. Father!

Go.

She'll be more easily guarded there.

But, Your Majesty, where will you sleep?

Here, of course.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Fine, how do you do? How do you do?

Quiet.

The signal. The coast is clear.

We can't get in the palace. They must have guards all over the place. Well,

let's go home.

Quiet. I got an idea.

One of us can climb that trellis. Yeah, one of us. Yeah, that's a swell idea.

One of... Wait a minute, fellas. Not me. No, I get dizzy. I get dizzy, kid.

Come on, get up there. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. How do I know the baby

won't scream her head off when she sees me? I wouldn't blame her. We'll write

her a note.

Good idea. Throw some gravel up the wicker.

Here's a rock.

I'll tie the note to this rock and throw it up there.

Somebody threw something back at me. What do I do?

Out of the way.

Come on, now. Get up there. Go ahead. Who are you talking... Hey.

Now, why don't you walk out?

Look.

Raise your foot up at her next step. Oh, murder.

Hey,

kiddo, are you awake?

Yes. Me and my pals are on your side, so don't you worry your pretty little head

about something. The king ain't gonna push us around.

No, sir.

Say, how come a nice kid like you has such an old sourpuss for a pappy?

Uh -oh.

The guard awaits your order, sire.

Good. Send them in.

I'll get you no goods.

Once Alina and I are wed, the king must die. Yes, your highness.

You have instructed your assassins? I have. Good.

Pay them handsomely.

In a few hours, if they strike well, I shall be king and you will be the

man in all England.

Looks like Dirty Wike.

Poor Larry.

He got two of them before they got him. Maybe they're getting the big haircut

already, you know.

If we could only bring him back, I'd never hit him again.

No kidding?

Shut up and listen. You know that Black Prince character, the guy that tried to

kill our pal Cedric? Yes.

Well, he's going to kill the king.

No. Yes, but we'll spoil his little racket. How? I don't know.

But we... I got a plan. Quick.

Get into these steel step -ins.

They've got Cedric in the dungeon and with... Somebody's coming. Come on.

Everything in readiness?

I have done as you ordered, Your Highness.

When the guards hear the fanfare of the trumpets, Cedric's head will fall.

Good, good.

And when the trumpets sound the second time, you shall strike the king down.

You must not put me to stop them.

ladies, I have glad news for you.

Elaine is to be wed.

Let the trumpets sound.

Load those trumpets so they can't blow.

They toil us, but we shall strike the king down nonetheless.

Then I shall be charged. Sound those trumpets!

Come on!

You assassins! Take them away!

Cedric, Cedric, darling.

Oh, Elaine.

He saved your life, father.

Grant us permission to wed, sire.

What? My daughter, Maria Smith?

Take it easy, King.

Millions of women marry smiths.

Right.

We'll have a wedding after all.

Sound the trumpets!

Fruit sound. What do you know?