Original subtitles

Boy, good old hotcakes.

Love them.

Hey, why don't you eat your hotcakes before they get cold?

I got to work on my radio slogan contest.

If I win, I get 10 ,000 bucks.

You've been working on that thing for weeks. You'll never win.

I got it.

How's this for a slogan?

White boat pudding, what a treat. Even good for tired feet.

Beautiful. I just

love ketchup on my

hot cake.

Oh, that's delicious.

But for me, I like the good old -fashioned syrup. It's a little bit

What did you say?

That's what I thought you said.

What's the matter with him? His jaws are stuck.

Wait a

minute, wait a minute.

Hold it. Maybe it's something he ate. Yeah, it's those hotcakes of yours.

My hotcakes?

You're crazy.

Well, I admit the hotcakes ain't so good, but the syrup's delicious.

That's not syrup. That's glue.

always melts glue.

Wait a minute. I know what I'm doing. I just know.

There.

See, it worked.

What are you trying to do, boil me? You think I'm a lobster?

Oh, wait a minute. Oh, God, you're right.

I fooled him.

Well, you certainly did.

Pardon me.

Yes? Go away from here.

Hey,

Jeff, bring me something to clean my mouth.

Oh, this will clean anything.

Open your mouth. This will fix it.

I've got to finish this thing here.

Shimpy.

Whatty. Like to play games? Oh, I love to play games. Close your eyes and open

your mouth.

to Mr. Shemp Howard, please.

My name is Shemp Howard. Mr. Howard, this is a mystery motor jackpot program.

If you can guess the name of our mystery auto from the sound of its motor, you

will win the $50 ,000 jackpot.

Listen now to the mystery motor.

Oh, that cheap gasoline.

I just won the $50 ,000 jackpot. Oh, boy.

I won a contest at last, which makes up for all of the past.

Hot dog. Now we can live like gentlemen.

Gentlemen?

Boy, what a swell dump.

You know, this reminds me of that penthouse we were thrown out of once.

Look at this room. Fancy and clean. I'd feel like a king if I just had a queen.

Quiet.

bottles of champagne.

A dozen.

Dozen.

Spell it.

Make it 12 instead.

Gentlemen, the furnishings in this room are of great value. Now, for instance,

this genuine Ming vase is valued at $5 ,000.

Ming. Oh, no wonder it costs so much for a Ming coat.

Over here.

Now, this beautiful bed goes back to Henry VIII. That's nothing. We had a bed

that went back to Sears Roebuck XII.

Always kidding.

Gentlemen, if I can be of further service, please call me personally.

Thank you, Mr.

Personally.

You cement head.

Why, that's an insult with me. In my country, that's an insult.

On guard. I got it.

A rowboat.

A rowboat? You're crazy. That's a horse trough. A horse trough? Rowboat? In a

hotel? You imbeciles, that's a bathtub.

Come on, take a bath. Wait a minute. It ain't spring yet.

Oh, yes, it is. See the grass?

Where? You're crazy. That's a bath mat.

Oh, gee.

Oh, help!

I can't see anything.

It's dark in here.

You get less air up there.

How can I get up there?

Where's the ladder?

Oh.

How I love this pretty bed.

Now I'll rest my weary head.

Good night.

Henry VIII off my neck.

Come on, now, get out of here. I'll murder you for this.

Oh.

What are you trying to do, break my neck? Your neck? Look at my hat. It is

broke. So it is.

Oh, I can fix that.

Pay for it. That's what I'll do with you. Come here.

Oh!

Oh!

a good baby, Darwin.

Ghost.

Ghost.

I just found out that the three bachelors that won the $50 ,000 jackpot

are right next door to us. $50 ,000?

Baby, how we could use some of that.

And we will get it, too.

Darwin, you go next door and you get lost. We will come and find you.

Go on, Darwin. Go.

So is your head.

I'll sharpen this one up. Believe me, I'll sharpen it up.

I'll get this one to start off in a minute.

I

guess

I sharpened this one a little too much.

You've had enough. Give me that butt. Let go.

Give me that. Let go.

Boy, oh, boy.

I got him. I got him. I'm seeing things.

Moe, Moe.

Moe, I got him. I got him. I'm seeing gorillas.

Well, don't look at me when you say that.

You know, one of these days I'm... Hey, look, those pants are

moving. The joint's haunted. Maybe it's his.

Hey, fellas.

What's going on? Your pants are walking and you ain't in them.

You've been drinking again, eh? That's impossible.

Whoever heard of pants walking when nobody's in them?

I'll show you.

My pants bit me.

We better kill that.

Wait a minute.

That's that $5 ,000 gadget.

Oh, you want to annihilate you?

Here, I'll get it. Wait a minute.

Let a guy that knows how to do it kill that thing.

Why don't you give me a softer board?

Get out of here.

And you, why don't you move that vase over further? Well, I'll tell you about

that. Now, listen, you. Hey, fellas, you were right. There was a big animal all

covered in fur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. That bath went to your head.

Come on, get your pants.

Come in.

Come in.

Come in.

Gentlemen, this registered letter just arrived, and I thought it might be

important. Thank you. Oh, it must be our prize money.

Excuse me, I'm wearing my short eyeball.

What's the matter? Something wrong?

These figures stagger me.

So will my bill.

Hey, fellas, trouble on hand. Hey, fellas, get up. Hey, fellas. Oh, hey,

get up.

Something tells me we'd better beat it. Go on, get dressed. Come on, you.

There's something peculiar about those men in there.

Don't let them get out. I'm going down to make up a bill they'll never forget.

All right, boss.

Hey, we got to get out of here. They'll throw us in jail if they find out we're

broke.

What did you do?

I just dotted his eye.

What do you mean you dotted his eye?

Well, like this.

We'll see about this.

And remember, girls, we must have them proposed to us right away. Okay, now

pretty.

That's a darn detective. He won't go away.

He won't, eh? Well, we'll fix him. Man the champagne buckets.

Give!

Well, look, we're terribly sorry. We thought it was somebody else.

Oh, that's all right. How about coming in and having some champagne, girls?

Thank you. We will come back as soon as we put on some dry clothes.

All right.

Let's get the police.

This time we'll get that manager for sure.

Keep!

You fools!

You stupid idiots!

Please, wait a minute. It was all a mistake. Forgive us. Here, let's kiss

make up.

Uncle, you live.

Ready? We're waiting.

Boy, are we in trouble. I'll get you out of this trouble. I'll win another

contest. Roses are red. Violets are blue.

You crush a skull, I'll break them in two.