Original subtitles

We'll pick it up again from page nine.

Aha!

Slowly we turn.

Step by step.

Inch by inch.

And those again for the fifth time.

The minute we get to that inch by inch line, something always happens.

That's the last straw.

Come on, we're going upstairs and kill those guys that have been ruining our

rehearsals. Let's go. You said it. Why, I'll get up there and I'll... No.

See that?

See that? Come on.

Come on.

All right.

This is it. I'll show those mugs. Let me at them. Quiet, I'll handle it. this.

I'll break their necks. I'll bash their noses in. And if there's a big muscular

guy in there, you handle him.

Gee, that's a swell number. I wonder what the name of it is. I don't know.

Well, we came up to break your neck.

Oh, yeah?

Wait a minute. That's before we saw you. You see, we live in the room below. We

was rehearsing our act, but you were dancing, and the chandelier hit me in

head. Oh, what an awful lump.

That's no lump. That's my head.

Oh, we're sorry.

I'm glad. Otherwise, we wouldn't have met.

I'm Moe. I'm Larry. I'm Curly.

That's funny. Moe, Larry, and Curly meet Flo, Mary, and Shirley.

What kind of an act do you do?

Oh, sort of a kind of a roan like. It's very dramatic.

Yeah, there's a lot of talk that goes on ahead.

But there's one spot that has to be timed just right. It's the most

thing in the act. We'll show you. Come on, boys.

Start on page nine. Page nine.

Ah, slowly we turned.

Step by step.

Inch by inch.

skull? Yeah, if we ever get past that inch -by -inch line, maybe the sack

be something.

What are you sitting in there for?

So it shouldn't be a total loss, I'm taking a bath.

A bath?

Yeah.

Move over.

Yeah, and I'll take a bath.

Get on the other side.

Give me the soap, kid.

I got it.

Here, here, here.

Give me the other brush.

Loosely?

Thank you.

We didn't come to borrow any dough We didn't come to borrow any trouble We

stopped in to say hello Oh, hello to you, Mr. Penny

Please don't think that we are hammy We just stopped in from Alabama We

just stopped in to say hello Oh, boy, you said it We just

stopped in to say hello And don't forget it

We just have to say hello.

Hello.

Hello. Goodbye.

Now, don't be hasty, Mr. Manny. The best is yet to come.

This is a sad, sad story of a boy in all his glory.

He could rat -a -toot -a -lady, rat -a -toot -a -lady.

Ah!

Give out invasion!

Spread out!

Now comes the climax.

Aha!

Slowly I turn.

Step by step.

Inch by inch.

You idiot, you.

Now you have to grab the axe.

I couldn't help it, I slipped.

Look, we're sorry, Mr. Manny.

Why, you... See that?

Hey, break it up, break it up.

We're sorry, Mr. Weeks. You see, every time this dummy...

Your show goes on half an hour at the shipyard.

We'll have to hurry if we're going to make it. Thank you. Call my car, all

right? Yes, sir. Sorry, boys, I have to hurry down to the shipyard. Better see

me some other time.

Say, Mr. Weeks, why can't we go into that show of yours at the shipyard?

slay them. Yeah, we'll kill them. We'll annihilate them.

Okay, I'll give you a chance, but you better be good.

We're on our way to the shipyard. Thanks.

Oh, boy!

Call me pal?

Why, I haven't heard that word for years.

You know, bub, I was once a tramp like you.

Oh, congratulations.

Ah, but it wasn't always thus.

I can look back to the days of y 'all when I was a very happy married man.

And one day that rat came and destroyed forever all the happiness I'd ever

known. I'll never forget that day.

I just came home from the graveyard shift, and there was a note on a pillow.

What did it say?

Oh, it was one of those cold -blooded notes.

Dear Mo, I'm running away with Larry.

I was obsessed with the idea that I must find him. The trail led me to

Pittsburgh. I found that I'd missed him by three days when I got there, and I

swore right there in Pittsburgh I'd find him and have my revenge.

Now on went the chase.

Miami, Dallas, New Orleans.

And then I came face to face with a rat that had ruined my life.

It was in Niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls!

Slowly I turned, and step by step...

Inch by inch, I walked up to him and I smashed him. I knocked him to pieces

and I knocked him down.

Oh, take it easy, boys. Take it easy.

Excuse me, kid.

It's that word Niagara Falls. Every time I hear it, it tears me apart.

Don't do me any good either.

Ungrateful, that's what it is. How do you like a guy like that?

I say hello, pal, sort of friendly, and just because I say Niagara Falls...

Take it easy, pal. Please, take it easy.

Oh, it's that woman.

I'll kill her and him.

Blood?

Yes!

Did you call me pal?

No.

It's been a long time since I heard the word pal.

You too? Haven't you got any friends either? That's what I was coming to, the

dirty rat. He tried to take her away from me. Ah, but he couldn't get away

it, so he trailed me.

To Pittsburgh?

Yes.

And then you went to Miami, New Orleans, and Dallas?

Yes, yes.

But how did you know?

You'd be surprised.

and he caught you in Niagara Falls.

Niagara!

Caught up with you in Pittsburgh.

Go ahead. Tell him where you found him.

Forget it. It's past history.

Why, you cowards. You're afraid to say Niagara Falls.

It's very important.

Car broke down. Unable to make show today. Sorry.

Castroner review.

Well, Mr. Weeks, what do you say?

Boys, I'm in trouble. My show won't be here today.

And how am I going to get some entertainment for these people?

Don't worry. We've got plenty of material.

We'll all go on. Yeah, we'll dance.

Certainly. We'll give them a show.

Okay. Go to it. Let's go, everybody.

What's the matter with you?

Listen, men, I need a volunteer for a dangerous mission. This mission is

extremely important, but it's ten to one, the volunteer won't come back.

Now, if there's a man among you that is ready to lay down his life for his

country, step forward.

Thank you, my boy.

Thank you for what, sir? For dying for your country. Now, take this message to

Major Stomer. You'll find him on Hill 303.

Now, you go through Skeleton Pass over Murder Meadow to Massacre Junction. Then

you follow the trail to Poison Creek around Funeral Mountain and head

for Dead Man's Gulch. Now, saddle a horse and get underway.

Yes, sir.

If the colonel had let me, I'd have gone myself.

He's off.

There he goes.

He's in enemy territory.

He's crossing no man's land.

Look at him ride through a hail of bullets.

Oh, no.

He's down.

They killed him.

No, his horse is getting up now. He's up.

Look at him ride like the wind.

He's right.

He's right.

He's right.

He's right.

my new Broadway show.

Meet me in my New York office tomorrow.

Oh, boy, Broadway, New York.

Well, girls, it was nice knowing you. See you again sometime.

Oh, yeah!

Get out of the car and find out.

I'll go, too.

Where are we, dear?

Goslow. Goslow?

Silly, it says Goslow.

Hey,

what did that sign say?

25 miles to Niagara Falls.

No!