Original subtitles

What a newspaper.

What an organization.

Send those news hawks in here.

You're a fine bunch of reporters. I sent you out to get a story, and what

happens? Nothing. But, boss, we couldn't help it. They got the place surrounded

by roughneck guards, and it's suicide for a news hawk to be in the

Oh, yeah?

Look at the Star Press.

They got the story.

They got the story.

That's what I need on this paper. More men like they have on the Star Press.

Are they merry -go -men or what?

I'll get a story or I'll tear the town apart.

I'll get a story or else... There are

three

Star Press reporters now.

Hey! Star Press!

They cut out the stone and go on up there.

Yeah, it's your turn.

I've been running my legs off all morning till the cubs on my pants are

Afraid of what?

You're our great bunch of reporters.

You're all fired. Get out.

Hurry up. Come on, Stoop. We'll all go.

What are you doing?

Listening to the band.

Would you like to hear some birdies? I'd love it. Take off your hat.

Get going.

This way, please.

Well,

how would you boys like to do a little work for me? Sure. We do the best work

town. Yes, and it's guaranteed.

Certainly. We're colossal. We're stupendous. We're terrific.

We're even supportive.

He's always clowning. Where's the work, boss?

Well, here's a story about Prince Sham and old lady Van Bussel. I want to find

out if he really intends to press his suit.

He ought to. A man can't get married in baggy pants.

I want you reporters to get me the lowdown on this story.

Reporters? We ain't... Now, you get me a picture of Prince Sham, and I'll give

you each a hundred dollar bonus.

What good is a hundred dollar bogus?

Bonus, not bogus. Don't you know what bonus is?

Certainly, Spanish.

Bonus nachos. Si, si, senor.

Si, si.

I can't help it. It's the gypsy in me.

I'll gypsy you later.

Okay, boys.

You get me the picture.

So long. So long.

Oh!

Is this the Farnsworth Employment Agency?

Well, this is Flint at the Van Bussell residence.

What about the cook and the two butlers you were going to send me?

I know they're tough to get, but I need some help.

Well, send them over as quickly as possible. The sooner, the better.

Never mind that order.

Everything's under control.

I'm your new cook.

There's your two butlers. Oh, splendid. So you're the new cook.

Well, now, remember, we serve dinner promptly at eight.

And, incidentally, are you good on stews? Certainly. He's always half

Now, whenever you're ready, serve the drinks and don't forget the canopies.

Canopies? Oh, you mean the toast with the lace curtains?

Such levity.

You remind me of the Three Stooges. Hey!

That's an insult!

Well, now, I was only joking.

Carry on.

Now, what would he want with a can of peas?

Not can of peas. Can of peas.

Not can of peas. Can of peas.

Whatever's as crazy and it's not you.

Right. Can of peas.

Hors d 'oeuvres. Which one?

Canopies, hors d 'oeuvres. Make up your mind.

You put them on crackers.

They give you an appetite like a horse.

Oh, animal crackers.

Go on, make the canopies. What animal crackers?

Listen, fatter brain.

Take this camera. Keep your eyes open. The minute you see the prints, snap his

picture. Make it a candid picture.

Yeah, a candid picture of canopies.

You gonna start that again?

I wish he would have made a chopped liver.

Here.

Let's see, canapes.

Ah, canapes.

Animal crackers.

Can't open that.

Canapes?

Canapes?

Canapes? Prince Sam, will you have some hors d 'oeuvres? Oh, thank you, Mrs. Van

Bossen.

Why, my dear, this cape here has turned green. It's mildewed.

What? That's no cape, sir. That's canapes. Fool!

So am I.

You go get a picture of those two while I peddle a lemonade.

They're over there by the piano.

Here you are, folks. Get your ice cold lemonade. It's delicious.

You'll love it.

What's the matter with her?

Here you are, folks. Get your...

It's delicious. You'll love it. Here you are, folks. Step up now.

You'll love it. It's... Have a lemonade?

Listen, you idiot. That's for the guests.

And don't handle the ice with your hands, you feather brain. I think you're

right. I'm starting to get chill blames. Hold this, will you please?

Go get the ice tongs. Yes, sir.

Everything's okay, boss. We get in all right.

Yeah. I'll see if they're snapping the picture.

Goodbye.

Keep my nose out of here. I'm suffocating.

Why don't you look where you're going?

Why don't you keep your nose out of strange doors?

Oh,

ice town. Yeah.

Here, go on.

I think it's silly, too, but orders is orders.

Put those things away.

Have a lemonade, ten cents a piece, or three for a quarter. What?

I'm sorry, have all you want. Don't cost anything.

Here's eggs in your vest.

That's my tenth one today.

Oh, the health these days, it's deplorable.

Nice little turkey getting its bath at 7 .30 and we'll be well cooked by 8 o

'clock.

You're a wise guy, huh?

There we are.

Prince Sham.

I think we should announce our wedding date, don't you?

Oh, well, no, my dear.

I think in a globe that would be so much more romantic, why don't we plan to run

away together next week, huh?

Oh!

What's this?

It's for Dad.

I'm so sorry, Prince.

Stupid people. Oh, take nothing of it, my dear. It's all perfectly all right.

I'm sorry, madam. Can I take your glasses?

You know...

news for you. The prince is really going to marry the dame. They're all open

next week.

But I didn't get a picture. You didn't? Give me that camera. I'll get a picture,

I hope. Hurry back.

Hey,

my turkey, it's burning.

Oh, come on, my shoe. Just my luck.

lose a hundred bucks? Are you out of your mind? What's the matter with you?

turkey belongs to those people. Now, don't let me ever hear you say or do

anything again to a turkey.

Don't worry, buddy. We can do without mashed potatoes.

haunt you.

That's incredible.

we don't get the $100 bonus until we get a picture of the prince.

You're right. Let's go and find him.

And don't shoot until you see the bags under his eyes. Right.

Imagine that suffering old fool falling for that line.

I told you to shut up. But I...

Jeepers, creepers,

what a night.

I told you to be quiet.

Come on.

What's that?

It's them.

I got you. With the gudge and you're going to jail.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bull, but the prince ain't a prince at all. He's a crook. We

a picture of him robbing the safe. We had him arrested.

Yeah, so there ain't no wedding and there ain't no story.

No story?

Why, this is the greatest scoop that ever hit this town.

Stop the presses. Hold everything for an extra. For an extra hundred? You said

it. Take this to the cashier and get your dough.

Oh, boys, we're making this.

I shall marry instead of that terrible prince.