Original subtitles

My dogs are killing me.

Well, mine ain't exactly wagging a tail for joy.

Then we don't find a job. I'm so hungry I could eat a skunk. Raw.

Look.

A banquet.

What are we waiting for?

Hey, he's got the ball. Oh, that's right.

Hey, Larry, quick, pass it. Larry, pass it.

I got it.

What'd you throw it so high for? Now you wrecked it. You know I can't.

What's the idea of dropping a thing?

Are you guys salesmen? That's fine. Come on, we got a job.

Your troubles are over. Here we are.

Three of the best salesmen that ever sailed.

Got a piece of bacon in your pocket? Why?

You keep him busy, I'll get some eggs for breakfast.

You try that and I'll crack your head like an eggshell. Come on.

You men ever sold anything?

Why, certainly. Anything we could lay our hands on.

The gentleman says sold, not stole.

Oh, I misunderstood him. Pardon me.

Well, what do we sell?

Memberships in the canvas -backed duck club.

Canvas -backed...

a fighter. That's what they call me. I was on the canvas so much. I used to

stand like that. Not for long. And then my footwork and the rosin in my eye.

Canvas. See that?

Gentlemen, gentlemen, listen to me.

With this proposition, you can't go wrong. Remember this, boys.

Every red -blooded man is a potential hunter at heart. Why, there's one in

office. That's right, boys. All you have to do is appeal to the primitive in

them, and you can't go wrong.

And for every membership you sell, you get 10 % of $50.

Think of it.

10%.

Think of it. Ten percent.

Oh, boy.

Three dollars.

Gentlemen,

you're on your way to success.

We're glad to have you with us. And you, too. Let me be the first to

congratulate you.

And you.

Come on, start selling.

Who are we going to sell to?

Every red -blooded he -man is a potentate hunter. There's one in every

That's right. I'll go this way. I'll go that way. I'll go that way.

Spread out, remember.

Ducks is ducks and cash is king.

And never the twain shall meet. Go on, start selling like I told you. Don't

no for an answer. No, sir.

Look out, look out. You want a duck? Look out, now. Don't do that. Don't do

that. Ducks, ducks.

Who wants to buy some ducks?

Is your blood red?

Are you a potent hunter? All you need is a prime appeal.

What about a duck? There's one in every office.

Hey, remember me?

Your face looks familiar, but I don't know where to put it.

Yeah. I'm your boss.

What a coincidence.

I knew I saw you someplace before.

Is that a proposition or is that a proposition?

You can't go wrong, pal.

I don't want any ducks.

But listen, buddy.

No ducks.

No ducks.

No ducks.

Can't we appeal to your privilege?

Only 50 bucks misses a chance of a lifetime.

I don't eat ducks.

I'm a vegetarian.

Well, eat the vegetables, see? And leave the duck. Come on.

You muscle -bound porcupine you would throw a pass and let a cop intercept it

with his head

I didn't say nothing. Well, that's for what you were thinking.

My mind's a blank.

We're surrounded. Come on.

Yes,

this is the chief of police.

No, I don't want to be disturbed by anyone except the mayor. When he comes,

him in.

Thanks.

What is this?

A chance of a lifetime.

You're about to join a duck club.

Not today. I'm busy. Get out. Get out. Now, listen, fella. Relax.

Imagine it's dawn.

You're waiting for the sunrise on the lake.

A duck is calling his mate from the Tuleys.

Yeah, I hear it. Now they leave the water. Quick, get down.

They're coming closer. I can hear the rustling wings.

They're coming within range.

Big, fat ones.

Now they're circling overhead.

They're setting their wings to land.

They're coming down. Get your gun ready. They're right in front of you.

Fire!

Oh,

the mayor.

The mayor?

The mayor, boys.

I still can't figure how those three saps sold those memberships so fast. Who

cares? You heard them say on the phone they sold them and they're on the way

here with the dough.

And the minute we get the dough, we're going to scram town.

Right.

The cops, they're wise to us.

Hey, boss, we sold all the memberships. Here's the dough.

All in the same place, too.

That's great.

Who'd you sell them to? The police department.

We even sold one to the chief and the mayor. We're going to see the governor

tonight. The governor?

We're going up to the club with the chief and the mayor. They're outside now

waiting for us. Like to meet them?

No, we're too busy. We'll meet them up at the club in the morning.

Okay, give us our commission. We'll get out of here.

Well, we're kind of short of cash. We'll bring your commission to the club.

Not that we don't trust you, but could you give us an IOU?

Sure, we'll give you an IOU.

10%. Now sign right here.

Thanks. Hey, you're not going to let him get away with that, are you?

Oh, a wise guy, eh?

Give me back my pencil.

Absolutely correct.

Hmm, must be another customer. I think it's Blackie and Doyle. Maybe they got

our money.

Oh, poor Revere.

Just passing. Thought the old club was haunted.

Nobody been around here in goodness knows when. Fine, that should make the

hunting better.

Duck hunting?

Why, man, they ain't been...

There'll be ducks, and you guys will get 20 years.

Oh, don't mind that old bird. He's cuckoo, Chief. Sure, we'll go right out,

Chief, and make sure there's plenty of ducks. Yeah.

Hey, and don't try any funny stuff, because you can't get away from the

department. Certainly, old Chief, you old kid, old Chief, old kid. We'll be

in a quack with a quack.

And I do mean quack. No!

This is a fine mess.

What we got to do is get some ducks.

I got it.

Go get me some duck eggs. I'll sit on them and hatch them.

We can't wait that long. Go on out and rustle up some ducks and hurry up.

Hurry up!

Listen, porcupine, I got an idea.

Get these decoys.

All right, wise guy. You said there was ducks. Where are they? Now, don't get

excited, chiefie. You get ready to shoot. I'll call them.

Ducks. You better watch for them.

What do you mean you got him? Well, I certainly... Oh, no, you got him there.

It's working all right. Now if that puddin' head'll only find some ducks. We

can't hold out much longer. This is the last one.

Quit stalling. Let her go.

Remind me to kill you later.

Here, blow up one of these rubber decoys.

You ought to tear your esophagus out.

What is this, a gag?

It better not be.

They're Heptoids, and that nitwit had it decided.

We better sway him. Come on.

Cut out that quacking penny.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Well, I figured if he could pipe rats pie -eyed, then I could pipe...

There they are Sam Those

guys are all right hear that come on

Those ducks will cost you $5 each.

What do you mean?

Well, they're my prize ducks.

Those ducks have been stolen from me.