Original subtitles

The general.

Gentlemen, our position is very precarious.

Unless our secret service can get the information as to the enemy's plans, we

will be forced to retreat.

Colonel, what operators have we here?

Operators 12, 14, and 15.

Good. We are fortunate. Gentlemen, they are the very brains of the entire secret

service. Summons them.

That's a coincidence.

Operator 12.

Operator 14.

Operator 15.

What happened to Operator 13?

He swam across the river and died of potomac poisoning.

in danger of annihilation.

Unless we know the plans of the enemy, our cause is lost.

Sir, here are the uniforms we took from the enemy prisoners.

Good. We have captured three of the enemy's officers, and you are going to

their places.

You will down their uniforms, we'll give you their credentials, and your names

will be Lieutenant Duck, Captain Dodge, and Major

Hyde.

Now I want you three men to bring me back the necessary information.

Providing you get back.

my timber ship ahoy. He's two on the port side.

I wonder if this is the right place, Lieutenant.

I reckon this is the place, Captain. What do you all say, Major?

Well, if there's no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the

place, I reckon.

How deep is this river, Major?

It ain't deep.

I'm getting tired of this army.

I'm getting tired of both arms.

Oh.

Thanks, boys. If you hadn't held that branch, it would have killed me.

Oh, another sentry.

Remember the password.

Go ahead.

Nothing. Who?

Follow me.

Paul. That man should give the car the sign.

Cumberland.

That's only for the first line.

So it is.

Charlie gives it for the second line.

Charlie? Sure, everybody knows good time, Charlie. He walks like this.

This entry.

Do your stuff, Lieutenant.

Spread out.

That way.

Halt.

Advance and give the counter sign.

Cumberland and Charlie walks like this.

Halt.

What seems to be the trouble, yeah?

Well, he doesn't know the counter sign.

He's not supposed to, I reckon. Do you know who this is?

No. Who is he?

I... Tell him, Captain.

Why, yes.

Um, he's a gentleman of the South.

Of the South, yeah. Hallelujah.

Never mind, I'll take care of him.

Hey, you all looking for me?

Why, no. Who are you, stranger?

I'm Charlie. You know, the fellow walks like this.

No, you're the wrong Charlie.

The Charlie we're looking for walks like this -a.

three beds, only had two blankets. How'd they keep warm?

I don't know. How did they, Major? They turned on the heat.

See that? Yeah.

See that?

By the way, Colonel, I think we ought to have about 75 ,000 men down here.

Oh, don't make me laugh.

We've only got 19 ,000.

Eighteen pieces, a mere handful.

Let's forget business, gentlemen, and freshen up our juleps.

I was burning up.

Do you know what that paper was?

Hot.

Hello, Daddy.

Oh, hello, dear.

I'm baking a cake all by myself. Oh, that's fine, dear.

By the way, gentlemen, let me introduce my daughter, Judith.

Would you all care to partake of my cake when it's done?

We all would sure love it. Lead us to it.

I baked a cake once, but it fell and killed the cat.

Major, how about another nip and tuck?

Hello, Charlie.

Messing, sir.

I can't see so good without my glasses.

Well, what does it say?

Official communication to Colonel Butts, QX Division.

What did it say?

It's about the Union Army.

What was it? All Union soldiers are now wearing Union underwear.

Think of it.

I used to work at a bakery as a pilot.

A pilot?

Yeah, I used to take the bread from one corner and pile it in the other.

Well, can you spread this cake with some of the strawberry preserve?

Oh, certainly.

Careful, it's hot.

You know,

I quit my job at that bakery.

Why? Oh, I got sick of the dough and thought I'd go on the loaf.

Oh!

You should be proud of your achievement.

Missy, this cake is as light as a feather. I'm sure you'll like it.

Yes, ma 'am.

What did you say the name of this cake was?

Southern Comfort.

Yes, ma 'am.

Tastes like Southern Comforter.

You certainly like that cake.

Do you mind if I dunk?

Dunk?

Do you like the cake?

Here, you'd better have my piece, too.

Do you

like

that cake?

If I hadn't had to bake it, I'd never know it was a cake.

Oh.

Yeah.

How's yours taste?

Like a mattress.

Want mine?

I'm stuffed now.

Gentlemen.

I just received word that the left flank must move over to the right and the

right flank must move over to the left.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, I need your advice.

What can you suggest?

He's mouthing.

He's eating more chicken.

in your ranks.

I'm here to investigate.

You don't think?

Introduce me to your guests.

Oh, by all means.

Right this way.

Gentlemen, meet Major Philbert.

A victim of circumstance.

Major Philbert's here because there have been rumors that there are northern

spies in our southern ranks.

The Major suspects everybody. He's known as Bloodhound Philbert.

And he can smell a spy a mile away.

I'm glad he can't smell him any closer.

Pardon me. I didn't quite get the name.

This here's Captain Dodge of the Horse Marine.

Well, I've got quite a pleasant surprise for you, Captain.

What is it, Major?

Why, they told me that your father came in this afternoon.

My father?

Yes.

Boy, his dad's here.

Yeah.

Is he still as tall as ever?

No, he's rather short.

Well, he can't borrow any money from me, sir.

Oh, excuse me, gentlemen. I got to take care of a week back.

Pardon me. How long have you had a week back?

Oh, about a week back.

You see that? Oh.

And yes to the success of our cause.

Where's Captain Duck?

Sounds like trouble.

Sounds like Lieutenant Duck to me.

How is my son?

Oh, fine, Uncle Tom, fine. Uncle Tom?

That's short for Pappy.

By the way, Captain, I forgot to tell you. Your wife also came in this

afternoon.

Where are you going?

I left my horse parked in the safety zone.

Tell me, Captain, is

your wife a blonde or a brunette?

Well, sir, I really can't say. You know, when she first married me, everybody

accused her of being very light -headed.

Dodgy, kiss me.

Darling, darling.

Gentlemen, this is Mrs. Dodge, my wife.

Mrs. Dodge.

Let's have a drink to the beautiful Mrs. Dodge.

Now, we'll have this fixed in just a minute.

Gentlemen.

Your other kind, sir.

Thank you. And Major.

I was wondering, Mrs. Dodge, what did you do with your little baby?

Baby? Baby?

But to Mrs. Dodge, I, uh, I will you there, there.

Don't worry, Dixieloo.

I'll get him.

Him?

Her? Her?

It! I'm a victim of circumstance.

I'm going to faint.

Oh, she has fainted. Get her a glass of water.

No, whiskey.

Do you think they'll ever find him?

Here, honey.

Where did you find it?

He was walking down by the railroad.

little darling.

He looks just like the captain.

Yeah?

Looks like you, does he?

We had him down the beach all summer. He got quite sunburned.

Sunburned? Yeah, here.

What'll I do with him? Hold him for 30 days. If nobody claims him, he's yours.