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My dear doctors, it is indeed a pleasure
to welcome you here for the beginning
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00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000
of your practice.
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This letter states that in this group
there are three of you who are not
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00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:05,740
bright, but were graduated because you
had been in the senior class too many
5
00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:06,740
years.
6
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:13,320
Your identity I shall keep secret and
will disclose to no one on one
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00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:18,900
that you try hard and forever devote
your lives to the glorious cause of duty
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and humanity.
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00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:21,908
We will.
10
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:24,350
Hello, Doc. How are you? Glad to see you
again.
11
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,550
Spread out.
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00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:29,690
Do you hereby solemnly swear to devote
the rest of your lives to the cause of
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duty and humanity?
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00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,830
For duty and humanity.
15
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:38,550
And remember, when you hear your call
come over the loudspeaker, rush
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00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:43,470
immediately to answer, as seconds mean
lives. Yes, sir.
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00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:44,509
Calling Dr.
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00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,110
Howard. Dr. Fine. Dr.
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Howard.
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Calling Dr.
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Howard. Dr.
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Fine.
23
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66, 72, 83.
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66,
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72, 83.
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On track 13, all aboard for
Philadelphia, Chicago, and points west.
27
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:25,380
Emergency call. Emergency call. 66, 72,
83.
28
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,840
Pulling off! Pulling off!
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00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:45,650
I want to talk to you.
30
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:48,830
Open your mouth.
31
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What's your name?
32
00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:52,830
Anaconda. Anaconda what?
33
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You know, just Anaconda.
34
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Anaconda. Anaconda.
35
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Anaconda, 95 and an eight.
36
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Anaconda, 95 and an eight. That's
awfully low, doctor.
37
00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:02,730
Yeah, we ought to sell.
38
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,060
Did you ever see an apple with a skin on
the inside?
39
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,980
Oh, sure I did.
40
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You did?
41
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:34,540
Uh -huh. Where?
42
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Didn't you send for us? Yes.
43
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How'd you find that patient in 66?
44
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Under the bed.
45
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How'd you find the patient in 72?
46
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Up on a sand lid.
47
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What'd you do for him? Nothing. What'd
he ever do for us?
48
00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,300
What are you working here for?
49
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:21,860
For duty and humanity.
50
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Calling Dr.
51
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Howard. Dr. Fine. Dr.
52
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Howard.
53
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,460
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr.
Howard.
54
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:05,440
What? There is a messenger boy down in
the lobby to see you.
55
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,759
Send him up.
56
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,760
Here I am.
57
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,100
What service?
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Give us a message.
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Can't. Seventy -five cents.
60
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Collect. Who's it from?
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00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,060
It's from a dame by the name of Nellie.
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My girl.
63
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,780
What does she say?
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She says she loves all three.
65
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But she'll marry the one that does the
greatest thing for duty and humanity.
66
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,740
Thanks. Hey, how's about my money?
67
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:35,360
I'll tell you. We'll toss for it. Pay a
double or nothing. Yeah, he'll call it
68
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,360
because he's sun -tied.
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00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,600
That'll make it easier.
70
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,780
Have you got a coin?
71
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,400
Yeah.
72
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,560
That'll really make it easier.
73
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,240
What is it? Head or tail?
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00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,520
None.
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What? None.
76
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:53,860
Is that it?
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00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,300
Certainly. Oh, then you lose. We'll
split this relay, sir. You telling me?
78
00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,520
Just a victim of circumstance.
79
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,240
How is she, doctor?
80
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,180
A slight hope.
81
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,860
That's too bad. What's the matter?
82
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,580
She's in a coma.
83
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,380
The joint is haunted.
84
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,940
How old are you?
85
00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:29,260
I'm 35.
86
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,800
Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in 35
years. Lay down.
87
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,660
Give me that thing there.
88
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,700
Can't live till morning.
89
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,940
Just a minute. Just a minute.
90
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,900
What do you gentlemen know about
medicine?
91
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,980
Why, we graduate with the highest
temperatures in our class.
92
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:58,340
Some class.
93
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,000
You said it, kid. Some class.
94
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,260
What are you trying to do?
95
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,940
Why, you don't even know how to deliver
a proper anesthetic.
96
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,260
Boys, give the doctor a little
anesthesia.
97
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:22,700
I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you are.
98
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:27,900
Oh, thanks, Doctor. You don't know how I
really appreciate it. Doctor, we're
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00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,020
mighty proud of you.
100
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,260
You've done a wonderful thing for
humanity.
101
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:36,000
And when we leave here, we're going
right down to the President's office,
102
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,260
won't say a word about it.
103
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,700
Yeah. What's the matter? What are you
butting in for?
104
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,280
Remember our oath for duty and humanity.
105
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:56,480
Get going.
106
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,460
Right away. Colonel, did you call us?
107
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,700
Yes, and just another thing.
108
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:22,510
that body go out on 84 until the bill is
paid.
109
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,770
I ain't got nobody.
110
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:24,930
Yes, it's in 84.
111
00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:26,010
Yes. Hello. Yes.
112
00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:28,850
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
113
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:31,550
Line's busy.
114
00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,090
Say, there's nobody on your line.
115
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,830
I know, but I'm expecting a call.
116
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,090
Just a minute.
117
00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:40,390
Go to room 81. There's a dangerous
patient there. Hurry.
118
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:43,790
Hurry. Don't get nervous.
119
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:45,190
The patient ain't going no place.
120
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,540
That is the momentous question.
121
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:27,200
I once asked Hamlet, and he made this
suggestion.
122
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:31,300
He said, go for a walk, and I met a dog.
123
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,480
Let's give him some medicine.
124
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,680
Oh, yes.
125
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,080
Anaconda can.
126
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,499
Cetus grams.
127
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,500
Cetus grams.
128
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,499
Four targets.
129
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,199
Four targets.
130
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,580
Anaconda corn. Anaconda corn.
131
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:09,880
Enoch. Enoch.
132
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,340
Sick? That's it.
133
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,400
We're not duty and humanity.
134
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:33,990
Once I was crazy.
135
00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:35,770
You see that buttonhole?
136
00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,070
Rats used to come out of that.
137
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:42,410
As fast as they'd come out, I'd grab
them, throw them down, and another one
138
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,530
would come out. Hey, hey, you ain't well
yet.
139
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,590
Why? There's another one coming out now.
140
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,830
You take it. I've got another one.
141
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,610
I'll be seeing you.
142
00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:53,230
Look!
143
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:56,690
Great big giant green canaries.
144
00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,090
Green canaries.
145
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,400
The shoes are too tight.
146
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,620
The cool's breaking up.
147
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,300
Wait a minute.
148
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,680
Pitch down an octave higher.
149
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,330
Yeah.
150
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,570
You? Yeah.
151
00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:35,570
Give him the anesthetic and see me in
the operating room later.
152
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,290
Good.
153
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:21,780
One,
154
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,300
two, three, four.
155
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,160
Femina. Femina.
156
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,140
Anacinic. Anacinic. Cotton.
157
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,500
Cotton.
158
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:36,980
Cotton.
159
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,780
Cotton.
160
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:43,219
Cotton. Cotton. Cotton.
161
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,220
Cotton. Cotton. Cotton.
162
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,880
Cotton. Cotton.
163
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,260
Needles! Needles! Needles!
164
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,940
Scissors! Scissors! Scissors! Scissors!
165
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:40,460
Success!
166
00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,130
What's this?
167
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:50,390
Where are the tools?
168
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:52,690
The tools?
169
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:55,670
Tools?
170
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:21,520
Get out of here.
11384
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