Original subtitles

Gentlemen, please, the meeting is called to order and we need quiet, not a riot.

Otherwise, we can't proceed.

Listen, you woman haters.

We meet for the seventh time to convince each member of the club that romance is

a crime.

Have any questions or any suggestions that you'd like to make today?

Or if you have a notion to offer a motion, let's hear what you have to say.

Come speak up like a hero.

Your speech need not be rehearsed.

Who's that?

Oh, yes, it's Mr.

Zero.

All right, I'll speak up first.

I'll give you my opinion of the opposite sexes.

When a man marries a girl, he has to work while she relaxes. Some smart aleck

wrote a book, The Woman Always Pays. Yes, she pays for perfume, powder,

and every silly craze.

But where does the money come from? From those dopey guys who fall. I say down

with every guy who sings my life, my love, my all.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, those in favor say aye.

Aye, aye.

All right, we'll pass that by.

Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without.

Without what?

They want to join our club today.

Okay, admit them right away.

Of the Woman Haters Club, I welcome you. Do you three gentlemen understand what

you're expected to do?

Now, boys, relax.

I said relax.

Now, please, at ease, relax, relax.

I didn't tell you to break your backs.

Stand up for the initiation.

of the Woman Haters Club.

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Fellas, I'll have to quit that club I joined last week.

Quit the club?

That's what I said.

Oh, you big fat head, what do you mean?

This way, I met a beautiful girl and fell head over heels in love.

Why, you must be out of your mind. You're crazy. What are you thinking of?

But I promised to marry her tonight.

Tonight? Why, don't you know if you violate the rules of the club, you're

as good as dead? If you get married, you'll be carried out and...

convince me. I guess that you're right.

I'll have to call the wedding off. I'll tell her tonight.

That's fine, but how can we be sighted? You won't give us the double cross.

I'll put up my bankroll. If I miss, I'll take the loss.

I got a better idea than that.

I'll tell you what let's do.

Jackie, me and you, put up our bankrolls, too.

We'll sign on the...

Now that you've signed, please bear in mind, from now on, no women around of

kind. Right? Right. Now the forfeit will post.

Fill them up. Fill them up. Now I'll make a toast.

To the three musketeers who've stuck along for years, we've traveled together

every kind of weather. Right? Right. What have you got to say for yourself?

Me? You.

I've got plenty to say for myself.

I beg your pardon, mates.

Here's to the finest salesman in the whole United States.

Say, by the way, don't we leave for the road tonight?

What day is this? The 21st. By golly, you're right.

Let's hurry back. We've got to pack our samples for the trip.

Okay, before we go, let's take another sip.

Here's to our trip.

You better see a girl and offer her your sympathy.

Tell her that the bride -to -be is not the bride -to -be. Right?

Right.

Meech is at the train, and now I'll tell the lady that I'll never see her again.

Doctor, it's late. Have you heard from Jim? No, Dad, he'll be here. Don't worry

about him.

But the people are waiting. Oh, here he comes now. Hello, Jim.

Can I see you privately in the next room?

Not now, dear. What's troubling you? Why all the gloom?

Friends of the family.

Meet the groom.

Here's to the happiest ending.

Gee, I don't feel so hot.

Go on, you're joking. Sure you're pretending. Honestly, Father, I'm not.

That reminds me of a story.

Listen.

That's me other daughter there. Well, on her wedding day, the fellow she was

about to marry tried to run away.

Did you ever hear a nerve like that?

Well, I took care of that guy.

In the room, I locked him. Then I socked him right in the eye.

Then I turned him over, told me brother to cut.

He just picked him up.

and spin them around like a top.

Then me other brother, who's a fighter, began.

Son, I'm ashamed to tell you what he did to that man.

Did he marry his daughter?

Did he? I should say he did.

There he is, right over there. He'll be walking soon, poor kid.

Oh, Jim, let's go.

Right now?

Yeah. Good luck.

Let's go.

Jim,

do you take Mary?

awful wedded wife?

I do.

Mary, do you promise to love him, share his joy, and share his strife? Oh, I do.

Place the ring upon her finger.

Not that one, the other finger. I pronounce you man and wife.

Here you are.

Oh, thank you, sir. Just ring if you want me to.

Oh, darling, I'm so happy that we're married at last.

And you know something?

I'm going to try to make you happy, too.

Yeah. Yeah?

I can't believe it. It all happened so fast.

Dear, can I ask you a little favor of you?

Why, certainly.

I want you to promise to keep our marriage a secret. What do you say?

Why, the idea.

and a train that'll try to kid me along.

It appeals to me somehow.

Would you like to join? Yes, sir. Okay, we'll initiate you now.

And I'll pronounce you a member of the Woman Haters Club.

Hey! Did you see a curly -headed fella? Sure enough.

He's in there with a lady, brother. She hot stuff.

See, W .H., what does that mean?

Wonderful honeymoon.

You fainted. Did you forget? What do you think, Tommy? It's Tommy Rotten. Come

in. Come in.

I tell you, you got me all wrong.

I was minding my own business when that woman came along.

Suddenly she fainted. Now I'm asking you, if a woman faints right in your

what is there to do?

You don't think that I'd fool around with a sappy dame like that. Her eyes

like a cat and her hair is like a rat.

Well, just the same, we signed a paper and that paper reads, no woman shall

enter our lives no matter what she needs.

And the next time you're with a girl, you're going to forfeit your dough.

Don't make me mad.

We won't bother anybody.

For

you.

For you, my life, my love, my all.

Yo ho ho ho ho. Yo!

here with this gal. That's what I want to know. Come on outside and I'll tell

you. All right, come on. Let's go.

awake. Bieber, he's hot.

Don't worry, I got what it takes to

You hear what I said?

And don't disturb us again. We are going to bed.

of the Woman Haters Club is called.

Mr. Chairman, there's a man outside.