Original subtitles

Pick up the pace, Soph. I'm trying. I can't keep up with your freakishly long

legs. Clear the way. Miller family coming through.

Move it or lose it. Yeah.

Do we even want to know what's going on? I'm going to say no. Let's just keep

moving.

The annual Star Falls picnic is upon us, and we refuse to lose this year.

How do you lose a picnic exactly?

Do the ants beat you to the food?

It's not just a picnic.

It's a family versus family competition to the death.

Oh, okay, well, not to the death, but there is one family in town we always go

up against. The worst, most vile family Star Falls has ever seen.

The Kings. They always beat us in the finals, and then they rub our faces in

Ew, what do they rub your faces in?

The feet.

Whose feet?

Anyway, there's two of us, and a lot of them.

Not exactly a fair fight.

Wait, this year we can enter as the Miller Brooks.

Only if they want to, but don't pressure them.

What? That's totally pressuring.

You're doing it.

Okay, sounds fun.

And look, your legs are totally the same length.

They are.

Perfect for time.

I knew there was a reason we found each other.

So we can defeat the kings.

Gotta say, never seen you guys so crazy intense before.

And you love it and can't wait to compete with us? Not really. I don't do

barbecues, I don't do grass chains, and I don't do gingham.

Gang on? Yeah, it's that horrible red and white check pattern that is all over

picnic. Clashes with everything!

Well, will you go if I do this?

Fine, I'll go. But I'm not competing or whatever it is you're doing.

Well, at least we got you, Craig.

And go!

Pick those knees up.

Eyes up.

Go, go, go!

Hello?

Where are you?

Right here.

What are you doing?

Getting more towels, duh.

What did you spill?

You don't want to know.

Anyway, you won't believe what happened.

Try me.

I was walking down the street when a pie hit me in the face. I believe that.

No, it's flyer. It's for a pie baking contest at the town picnic.

Do you know what this means?

That I'll be eating pie at the town picnic?

It means pie of my destiny.

I'm going under the contest.

Uh -huh. Look, I really gotta clean up this bill. Like, really.

Welcome to the Starfall Annual Picnic, where the grills are hot and the games

are...

Are you going to compete with me? We could be the pie bro.

Uh, no.

I signed up to be a judge.

Oh, that's great.

But won't having a family member competing be a conflict of interest?

Do I normally do you any favors?

No. Well, then we're good.

What?

Nothing. I'm just taking this all in.

So much corn and butter and... Oh, no.

It's them.

Who? Kevin, Kate, Kimmy, and Chris.

All with a K.

Ks are so passe.

Hey, mill losers.

Get it?

Because you always lose, and your name is Miller. Yeah, we got it.

Kate. Beth.

Kimmy. Sophia.

Diamond.

Something with a K.

Hi, I'm Chris. I know who you are, Hollywood Joe.

It's Hollywood Craig.

Um, it's just Craig, actually.

You think adding some lame, washed -up celebrity to your team is going to help?

Washed up?

I'll have you know I have three movies coming out this year. Yeah, well, L .A.

people don't know how to picnic.

I may not know how to picnic, but I know how to spot a twerp wad.

There, there, there, there, and there.

Sorry, Dad, not you.

Later, Mill Losers.

That's it. I'm joining the team.

The Mill Loser Brooks are coming for you!

Wait, no. I mean, you're going down, King.

Yeah, what she said.

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend. Her dad, huge movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

picnic looks like, and yes, if you're wondering, it does smell like mustard.

And sweat.

Diamond! What? It does!

Anyway, bye for now.

Okay, so what exactly did I agree to here? Well, everyone competes in

games representing their family. So where are Phoenix and Bo?

Phoenix is competing in the pie -baking contest, and I'm just gonna assume Bo is

eating pie.

So, you're a judge.

Yep. How'd that happen?

Got a gavel. And I like pie.

Huh. That's how I got here, too.

Next up is the sack race!

So why exactly do you and the Kings hate each other so much? We don't hate each

other. Really? Because we despise each other.

Mash her, Mom! Mash her!

Backstory, please?

The Kings and the Millers go way, way, way back to three years ago when the

Kings brought their family dog, Kiki, in to see my mom one fateful day. Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Worst case of fleas my mom had ever seen. She had no choice. Don't say it!

had to shave him.

Oh. And there they go!

The kings were furious.

Turns out Kiki was a show poodle.

Mom ruined his career.

He can't even show his pom -pom tail in the dog park anymore.

Anyway, the kings gave mom terrible reviews online.

Ugh, I hate online trolls.

We've been mortal enemies ever since.

Come on now! Let's go!

Way to go, Beth.

Love the burlap sack.

It's nicer than what you normally wear.

Hey, I dress for comfort.

Plus, I don't take offense. Because you're mad, I just whooped you. I

you. I have to say, I've never seen such a young face

in a tent before.

Baking's usually an older person's game. I suppose it is. Like shuffleboard,

water aerobics, or mall walking.

Well, if you need anything at all, you just ask me, Granny King.

I am the blue ribbon champion, after all.

Oh, if your pies are as sweet as you, it's clear why you're the champ. Oh,

that's right, you fresh -faced little pie brat.

You listen to me. This is my tent, see? And if you think that you are going to

come here and get in between me and my blue ribbon, you got another thing

coming. I do? Yeah, and I'll tell you this. It won't be sugar. It won't be

spice. It won't be anything nice.

Oh, that vicious old lady just threatened to whisk me.

Yeah, she looks real terrifying.

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, now it's time for the horseshoe event.

I once played a farrier in a movie.

That's the guy who puts shoes on horses.

In the movie, did the farrier also throw the horseshoes at a stake?

No. I'm not really seeing how this helps, then.

You're going down, Hollywood.

Hey, we're from L .A. They're like two totally... different places.

Sort of.

Looks like you've got hooves through hands.

Your smack talk needs some work.

Yes! Good game.

Not... I'm sorry, girls.

Don't worry.

There's still plenty of events to go.

Um, it was toast close, Dad. Well, if this had been putting shoes on horses,

it'd be a different story.

Would it?

Not really.

They were stunt hands doing it in the movie.

As you may or may not know, I like to think outside the box. But when it comes

to pie, tradition is king.

So my pie will be filled with traditional ingredients.

Sugar, cinnamon, apple, and worms.

Worms? Gummy worms.

I call it...

The cycle of life pie.

That sounds terrible.

But you are right about one thing. Tradition is king.

Granny king.

You don't stand a chance, worm boy.

The next event is the three -legged race.

Is that so you always remember us destroying you?

No, it's so that we always remember us destroying you.

Not the way you said it, which was similar, but very different.

We... Seriously? No more smack talk from you.

Ready, set... Watch your step, Wobbles. Watch

your face, because you're going to eat dirt.

Why don't you just go back to L .A.? Well, we can get there faster on three

than you can.

Count to three.

Legs. Upper.

Yes!

Take that, you creeps with a K. Did you see their faces?

That was so great. I love winning. Yes.

Seeing their faces lose and ours win is awesome.

With you guys here, we can start our reign as the picnic champions of Star

Falls. Every year?

Yeah. Kind of a long trip for hot dogs and three -legged races, though.

Why would it be a long trip? We live, like, two blocks away.

Yeah, but once our parents get married, we'll be living in L .A. Duh.

What? I thought we'd be staying in Star Falls.

How could we do that? My dad is a movie star.

L .A. is our natural habitat.

But I can't live in L .A.

Well, we can't live in Star Falls forever.

Why not?

Okay, we need to talk to our parents about this. Agreed. Like, right now.

Where are we going to live after you get married?

Star Falls or L .A.? Or Star Falls or L .A.? Well, where are we going to live?

Is it really the best time to discuss this? Yeah, I can't think with all the

blood rushing to my hands.

We have to know!

Okay, all right.

Well, we have discussed it.

But we haven't decided anything.

I mean, it's a big decision. A big decision.

A huge decision, so don't make the wrong one.

Girls, don't worry. We'll make the best decision. Just not right now.

Speaking of the best, L .A. has the best everything.

Oh, yeah?

Over to the start line.

Yeah, that'd probably be easier.

So what are you guys going to eat?

Easy, munchkin. You're not eating whole pie.

Yeah, I'd probably barf after the first ten or twelve.

May the best pie win. And may my pie destiny be fulfilled.

You're a weird one, aren't you? Aren't we all weird in our own way, Granny?

All right.

Life of pie.

Cycle of life pies.

Yeah, whatever.

Hot, hot, hot.

Tastes like three chilies on the Beauville scale.

Not your finest work.

I don't understand.

Looks like you flew too close to the sun and got burned, you wormy little pie

brat.

You need milk, not water.

to my hands.

Uh -huh, yeah. Now back to our question. Where are we going to live?

Girls, why don't we just try living in the moment?

We'll figure this all out tomorrow.

There's only one competition left, and if we win, it's us against the kings in

the final tug of war.

Yeah.

You know, the one where we make you eat dirt every year?

Yeah, well, ding -ding, that's the sound of the dinner bell.

Uh, for the dirt dinner you're about to eat for the first time, you dirt.

I see where you get your smack -talking skills from. You need to focus on

working together and winning the egg toss.

Mom! Sophia, the kings.

Why do those words have so much power over me?

Seriously?

Next up, the teen egg toss.

Nice and easy.

Nice and easy.

You think I've never tossed an egg before?

Because I haven't. We don't toss eggs in L .A. It's...

Hey, the egg toss is a very Star Falls game.

We have an abundance of fresh eggs here.

Wow, you should put that on the welcome sign.

I know you're being sarcastic, but that welcome sign is a good idea, so thank

you.

Careful. Don't tell me to be careful.

Whoa.

Is that how you learn to throw in L .A.? I told you, we don't toss eggs in L .A.

than losing the egg toss.

Is this king of tablecloth?

No. I was going to say fighting with you.

But yes, it does kind of clash with your shirt.

You know I don't hate Star Falls, right?

I know.

And I haven't even been to L .A., so I can't hate it.

You just need to give L .A. a chance.

Like I gave Star Falls a chance.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Me too. No more fighting. We're going to be sisters.

Yeah, and that won't change no matter where we end up living.

Totes.

Maybe we should... Sorry, you go.

Live in L .A.

Aww!

Sorry,

folks. I have an announcement.

For the first time in the history of our picnic, we have a

disqualification.

Please, please, please!

It turns out Mrs.

Daly...

She's a professional egg tosser.

I know.

I didn't know it was a thing either.

Well, anyway, she's disqualified. And the Daly family falls out of second

Yes.

This isn't my pie.

This is the smell of evil.

Well, I hope you all enjoy my classic peach pie.

The secret ingredient is love.

Really? Because I think that the secret ingredient is lies.

What on earth do you mean?

I mean, I won't be tasting the pie of a cheater.

A cheater?

Well, I never... Found this at your station.

Well, I don't know where that came from. Somebody obviously put it there.

And did they also put your name and face on them?

Granny King's Blue Ribbon Hot Sauce?

Case closed.

But my beautiful pie!

Yup, that's the stuff.

Hot sauce, hot sauce, hot sauce, hot sauce.

You've been caught red -hot -handed, Granny.

If that's your real name. You are disqualified.

You haven't seen the last of Granny King!

Does this mean I win?

Oh, no. That pie could never win.

on to something with the spicy pie idea.

Cut back the heat and maybe you can bake a few for the owl. It would be my

honor.

No, no.

Harsha, Harsha.

We know how important it is to you where we live, so we discussed it and... We

made a decision.

Being in Star Falls, I gotta say, I've grown to love the place.

And the people, obviously.

The boys really like it here, and I think it's a good place for us to live.

Totes.

Totes? Really?

Really, totes.

Okay, great.

Well, we'll keep the house in L .A. for holidays and visits, and maybe spend

some time there each summer.

And I can travel for work? No problem.

It'll be the best of both worlds.

So it's official?

We're staying in Star Falls?

Too bad. You probably should go back to L .A.

Because once we annihilate you in the tug of war, you're not going to want to

show your faces in Star Falls again.

Good one, Dad.

No one tells my face what to do. You're going down, twerpwad.

Nice!

Diamonds should be our smack talker from now on.

Of course.

Here we are at the final match of the picnic.

Reigning champs, the Kings, will take on new family, the Millerbrooks!

It's time for Granny's revenge, which is what I'm going to call my pie next

year. And I'll destroy you with it.

I'm not scared of you. Really? Because it sounds like you might be.

He's totally scared.

It's true. That woman is pure evil.

Let's take that Granny down.

We can do this, right? Absolutely.

I don't know. What are we doing? Together, we're unstoppable.

Plus, we have much better karmic energy.

We're the invincible Millie Brooks of Starfall.

And sometimes LA, depending on our schedule.

One, two, three, break!

Well, folks, so far, neither team is giving up an inch.

This is going to be a close one.

Oh, it looks like the Kings are really giving it.