All language subtitles for star_falls_s01e16_the_boys_vs_the_girls

A pen that doesn't work.

Scrape gum.

And a tissue.

A youth tissue? Ew.

And that's lovely, viewers. It's
everything that's in my bag. Later.

Ninja! Don't do that!

Well, what if I do this?

Ninja!

Yeah, I don't think ninjas yell ninja.
Kind of takes away from the whole ninja

thing. Fine. I'll go ninja outside.

Um, a little help, please?

Ninja!

Playing ninja?

Yeah, I don't think ninja is the old
ninja. That's what I said.

Ninja out.

What is all that stuff?

It's for a family camping trip. Every
year, me, my mom, and grandpa explore,

hike to the bubbling springs, eat
s'mores.

It's awesome. Sounds awful.

I've seen camping on TV, but I didn't
think it was a real thing.

I love camping.

Nature, family, wilderness, birds. Okay,
now you're just saying words.

I'm going to spend time with my family
back here in civilization.

You're lost.

Ooh, marshmallows!

Like I said, s'mores.

And those marshmallows are from last
year's trip.

Still good.

That's a lot of camping stuff.

You may find this hard to believe, but
I've never camped.

I can totally see that. I'm sure. I
played a vegan wilderness survivor who

nothing but trees for two years. It was
based on a true story.

Well, in real life, he survived for two
days, and he had food.

And he wasn't vegan.

Oh, no, what happened? Are you okay?

I'm just fine.

He's not. He sprained his ankle.

Out logging in the back 40.

To clarify, he was eating a chocolate
bar and tripped over a log.

Oh. But it was in the back 40.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll be ship -shape and
ready to go camping.

No camping for you. You're supposed to
rest. Doctor's orders.

That quack doesn't know what she's
talking about. I'm going camping.

She's not a quack, and stop saying that
to her, by the way. You're not going.

Aw, too bad Grandpa can't come.

If you have room for another now, I'd
love to go. Really? Really?

Really? Yes, really. Why is everyone so
surprised?

Oh, I just thought you maybe... Why,
what?

Seriously, I'd love to go camping.

Is that okay with you, Soph?

Of course.

Just don't get between me and my
s'mores.

No, I'm furious.

I'll try not to.

Anyway, this will be a great bonding
experience.

I want to bond. I mean, bonfire. I mean,
I want to camp too. Really?

Really. Really?

Like an hour ago, you said it sounded
awful.

You must have misunderstood me.

You said, camping sounds awful.

This girl, what an imagination, am I
right?

Well, you're more than welcome to come.

But you do know camping is outside,
right?

Of course I know it's outside.

Which is why I cannot wait.

I love it outside.

You know, with all the sky and the...

Ground.

I stand corrected.

Oh, thank you. Apology accepted. I
didn't...

Hi,

boys. I... Oh, staring contest.

I'll wait.

Hey, blinker.

Sorry, what's up? I have a favor to ask.
Anything for you, Beth. Could you stay

with my dad while we're camping? He hurt
his ankle and I don't want him to leave

the house.

Ooh, you mean lock him up, pretend he's
in prison and guard him 24 -7 so he

doesn't escape? Nope, not what I meant.

I just want to make sure he's getting
some rest. He's not good at relaxing.

You can count on us.

Well, you can count on me.

Great, give us a call if you need
anything and this is where we'll be.

again. No, thank you for entrusting me
with this monumental task.

I have the utmost respect for my elders.
Because, dear citizens, they're the

real superheroes.

And I'll be the supervillain. No, you
won't. But I've been working on my evil

laugh.

That's not bad.

Nice work, Craig.

You're natural.

Thanks. I'm actually just acting like I
know what I'm doing. No idea what these

are.

Mom, you're on fire duty. Diamond's on
lunch. And what's your job, Soph?

Telling everyone what to do.

Great job. I know.

And I guess I can gather some wood.

Ooh, is that my luggage tent? There are
two tents.

One for you guys, one for us. None for
luggage.

Where'd you get the cart anyway?

Oh, I have a cart, guys. You name a
cart, I can get it.

Shopping cart, golf cart, go cart. Why'd
you bring all those clothes?

We're camping.

Which is why I came prepared.

I've got rugged, outdoorsy, fierce, who
knows how many looks I'll need on my

wilderness adventure.

I do.

One look.

This.

Ooh, I can fix that.

Starting with your shorts. Why so many
pockets? I mean, you're not a kangaroo.

Wait. There aren't any kangaroos around
here, are there?

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend. Her dad, huge
movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

These are so dirty. I can't find any
clean ones.

They're sticks from the ground, which is
made of dirt.

How's lunch coming, Diamond?

Oh, right, that's my job. On it.

Ow.

So what do you guys feel like? Pizza,
Thai, tacos?

Oh, Johnny Buffet's, they have
everything. Diamond, you can't order

the middle of nowhere. Or twine pizza,
pad thai, and cauliflower tacos with

extra guac. What's your address?

Address? Hmm, there's a lot of trees,
some bushes, and rocks.

Oh, and a creek.

So 30 minutes are free, right?

He hung up. Can you believe it? Yes. He
is so getting two stars.

I guess we can eat the burgers I brought
for dinner.

Then what are we going to eat for
dinner?

Vogel fishing.

Yes. Another new experience.

I've never been fishing before.

I've played. A crab fisherman who got
lost at sea during a big storm.

You won an award, we know.

And a fisherman who gets terrorized by a
government engineered dinosaur slash

barracuda. Oh, yeah, right.

Yeah,

you did not win an award for that. I did
not.

Here, Lou, have some milk. It will help
your brittle bones.

My bones are not brittle.

Would you please?

I'm fine.

I just want you to feel comfortable.

I was comfortable until you... Can you
hear that, Lou?

Is it loud enough for you?

Yeah. I could probably hear it in the
other house.

What? I said I could probably... I'm
hungry.

What? I'm hungry.

What about rugby?

Oh, for the love of... I think that was
a bit too loud.

You think?

And in conclusion, the great outdoors
consists of the sky, the ground, and a

of living stuff in between, all of which
wants to bite you.

Ow!

Impressed how quickly you caught on, get
it?

Caught on. Nice fishing joke.

You're a real natural.

Well, I'm hooked on fishing because of
my great teacher.

Fishing puns, so lame.

Yeah, puns aren't for everyone. But it's
nice to see them having so much fun,

right? Uh, yeah, totally.

Super nice.

We should be having fun, too. Why aren't
we having fun? Let's have some fun!

Uh... I was about to hang this hammock.
Could that be fun?

Don't let the fun begin!

Sorry, I didn't think this would be so
complicated.

What? This is super comfy. Totally fun.

Ah, you're right.

I do need to rest.

Yes, you do.

While we're here, let's cherish this
time together.

Sounds great.

Tell me a story from the old days. Did
you travel by horse, wagon, or both?

How old do you think I am?

I mean, I'd be happy to tell you some
stories, but, um... Hey, could you do me

a favor first? Anything, name it. Run me
an Epsom salt bath.

Love to.

Wait, what are Epsom salts?

Oh, they're for a very...

Very geriatric people.

They help to soothe our tired and weary
bones.

Perfect. I'm on it.

Hello. Hi,

Bo.

What are you up to?

Leaving soon?

Nope. I'm going to sit here all day.

Great.

So, Bo, got anything weird hidden under
your bed?

Always. Be right back.

Wow, Diamond.

You really got yourself wrapped up in
there.

How did this even happen?

It happened because of all the fun we
were having right, Beth. So much fun.

Yeah, tons of fun.

Okay, hold still. I'm going to cut you
out. Cut me out?

Cut the hammock.

Totally knew that.

Check it out, Lou. It's full of nails,
and they're not the hammering kind.

Hey, Lou, your Epsom salt bath is ready.

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

We've got to find him. Wait, what's the
Epsom stuff?

Sounds like a space bath.

Can I try it? No, we've got to find
poor, frail old Lou.

He's probably headed to the campsite.
But I want a space bath.

Ugh, fine.

I bet you worked up an appetite after
all that struggling.

How about some dinner? Hey, Sophia,
let's prep the fish we caught.

Oh, sure.

Okay, what should I be doing?

Well, you could... Help with the napkin.

Yeah. You can put out the napkin. And
make sure they don't blow away.

Great.

Napkin.

Hey, Nick, pick up, pick up.

Namaste. Oh, voicemail.

Oh, good. Nate, I need your help.

You need my help?

I mean, Sophia and I need your help.
It's an emergency.

Why? What's wrong?

Well, it's not a real emergency, but we
have a plan.

Choose what I need you to do.

Oh, no, napkins!

Do you need napkins?

No, I'll call you back.

Everything tastes better outside.

My compliments to the chef. And my
compliments to the fisherman and fisher

And great job on the napkins.

So, we should head on our hike soon.

Hike? What hike?

Just around the campsite sounds fun.

That was a good hike.

No, that was walking in a circle.

I meant our hike to the bubbling
springs.

You guys will love it. Of course I will,
because I love water and I love

bubbles. Yeah, it's like nature's club
soda.

Toast! But, uh, shouldn't we wait a
while?

Heard you're not supposed to go hiking
for 30 minutes after eating.

That's swimming.

Nope, pretty sure it's hiking.

But... Oh, no!

We've got to find Lou.

Do you even know how to read a map?

Yes.

Maybe.

I don't know. I always use my phone for
directions, and when I typed in Beth's

campsite, I got no results.

Well, there's no X on here for treasure.

Yeah, I'm out.

What are we going to do?

How many bugs?

Let's just give up.

Oh, well.

So long, Lou.

Nice knowing you. No!

I know. To track Lou, I need to think
like him.

Now, what does he think about?

Ham, radios, ham radios.

That's no help. Come on, think, Phoenix,
think.

Aha! I'll let the wilderness guide me to
Lou.

I'll listen to the leaves, follow the
scents, become one with nature.

Yeah, that should work.

Girls, stay back.

That's all I got.

Don't worry, everyone. I know how to
deal with bears like Toad.

You do?

Yeah, I saw a bear movie once.

Plus, I had a stuffed bear growing up.
We just need to make ourselves look as

big as possible.

Why are you smiling?

I'm smiling because the bear's wearing
sneakers.

You think I know how to spot a bear
double by now?

What is Diamond doing?

Back to the woods with you, bear!

You're the adult.

We're bear -sized snacks.

Sneakers. Yes.

Sneakers can be a snack.

I get it.

That's not a real bear.

That was quite a bear fight.

See, I'm just as wildernessy as you
guys. Maybe more. Anyway, you're

Okay, what's going on? What's going on
is I just risked my life and fought a

bear for you. The bear was wearing
sneakers.

So?

A fashion -forward bear.

Fine, it wasn't a real bear.

But I did fight him. Nate, are you okay?

Not really.

You guys... were bonding with all your
wildernessy fishing jokes and fires

starting, and all I could do was get
trapped in a hammock.

You don't have to be good at camping to
be a part of this family.

So what if you ordered delivery to a
campsite, became a hammock burrito? Not

really making me feel better. You're
Diamond Brooks, and you're awesome for

other reasons.

Would you feel better if you listed some
of them?

Well, you're kind, thoughtful, and my
very favorite daughter.

Dad!

But continue.

You're funny and talented.

Those are both true.

And you're a really great friend.

Aww.

Can I come out now?

Yes.

Hey, I know I probably shouldn't have
gone along with this, but Diamond said

was an emergency and she can be very
convincing.

Oh, neat.

I am convincing.

I hear the leaves, feel the air.

What's that smell?

I know, crushed moss.

Someone walked through here recently.

Yeah, us.

We've passed that big rock like three
times.

What? My sense of smell has failed us.
I'm not one with nature after all.

So you mean we're lost?

That's another way of putting it.

I think I just saw a bear.

Hiking selfies.

I'm documenting our adventure with
selfies.

This is diamond style at Georgina.

It's good to have our diamond back. And
the bubbling springs could be close.

I can't wait. Can we swim in it?

You could.

It's a bit muddy and a little bit
stinky.

But there are bubbles.

Muddy and stinky bubbles.

That's less appealing.

Slightly disappointed selfie.

So where do we go from here, Soph?

Huh? I thought you knew the way. I was
following you.

Wait, I guess grandpa usually leads the
way.

So neither of you know where we're
going?

Uh -oh.

We're lost?

A little bit. Totally.

Lost selfie.

What was that?

Maybe it was Nate.

Well, he left two hours ago, so probably
not.

But maybe...

We want the bear to think we're big so
he'll leave us alone, right?

Yeah.

I think.

I hope.

Okay, I never actually saw a bear movie.

I saw one about a bank robbing raccoon.
You know how they have that cute little

mask. So we might be doing the opposite
of what we're supposed to be doing?

Possibly. Diamond!

What? We just established that I'm not a
doozy. Would you too?

We'll face whatever's in there as a
family.

How did you guys end up out here?

Let me guess. My dad escaped.

Yep. Told you we should have locked him
up. I'm impressed you kept him inside at

all. He's probably at the campsite by
now. I'll text him.

No service.

No bars? I have no bars? Where are we?
The Industrial Revolution?

Not according to this map.

Don't care. I'm hungry.

Me too.

Who knew getting lost, fearing for your
life, and then getting lost again would

work up such an appetite?

I call this one desperate and lost.

the log in the background really adds...
Wait, I know how to find our way back

to the campsite.

Make a nest in the west side and wait
for a bloom to spawn us.

Or we go through the selfies I took on
our hike and use the landmarks to find

our way back.

That's actually pretty brilliant.

Thanks. Oh, brilliant selfie.

And there's the fallen tree I had to
jump over in my action selfie.

And there's the rocky pass in my...

I'm totes bored of this hike already,
selfie.

And... Here we are!

Yes, I have cell reception back in the
land of the living!

Dad's not here. I'll text and see where
he is. I'm starving.

Ooh, what's the rummage?

Wow.

Gotta hand it to you. Your obsessive
selfies finally paid off.

Guess I'm out to a see after all.

Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.

Turns out...

Grandpa's at home.

Toby hasn't been in the bath this whole
time.

Toby's so wrinkly.

What was that? Oh, no. Not again.

Got an order for Diamond Brooks.

Yeah, food.

I'm a wilderness hero again.

Like a heroic tip.

Yeah. I can't believe you found us out
here.

Is it cool if I hang out with you till
you leave?

No idea how to get back.

Dad,

what happened? Your ankle looked worse.

Well, I was trying to escape.

I made it to the edge of the driveway,
stepped in a gopher hole.

Fortunately, Charlie was passing by and
he took me to the clinic.

Doctor says I'm supposed to rest and
heal.

Quack. Okay, this time you're not going
anywhere.

Ooh, can I guard him? Yes.

Yes?

Yes!

Okay, I'll need handcuffs, a siren, and
three giant spotlights.

I can't believe I missed my first
camping trip.

You know, maybe you don't have to.

Wow, girls.

Looks great.

Nice work, you two.

We wanted you to have a family camping
trip too, Grandpa.

Thanks. And you made my favorite beans.

Oh, oh, group selfie.

You know, just in case we get lost
again.

Hey, Lou, can you tell us an old -timey
ghost story?

Oh, me first, me first. I have a super
scary story.

It all started with a box full of nails.

And they're not the hammering kind.

They're toenails.

Oh, I'm eating.

Bye.