All language subtitles for star_falls_s01e02_the_everything_wash

I'm like five feet away. How much
quicker? Quick!

Everything okay?

Totes. And it's going to get so much
better once I buy this.

Can't figure out what I'm looking at.

Wait. Is that a rock hat?

Uh, yeah.

And it's not just a rock hat. It's a
statement.

Is that statement, this hat is made of
rock?

It's made with hand -gathered rocks and
rock shavings that glimmer in the sun as

you walk.

Well, that sounds... What's the word?

Totally frivolous. That's two words. The
point is, why would anyone need a raw

cat?

If you don't know, then I really think
you're the one who's missing the point.

No, actually, I'm... Wait, was that...
Did you just see a cupcake fly by the

window? Cupcake?

Yep.

Flying cupcake.

FYI, Bo got a slingshot.

Ooh, red velvet!

A big slingshot.

Not a great color for you.

So, I gotta go get $500 from Dad.

$500 what?

Dollars, duh, for the hat.

The hat cost $500?

He'll never give you $500 for a hat.

Thanks, Dad.

You know the pin, right, honey?

Of course.

So, wow, he just gave you his credit
card? I don't understand the question.

My mom would never do that. Really?

But why not?

Because I live in the real world, where
when kids want money for dumb stuff,

their parents say, that's dumb, we live
in the real world, you can't have money

for it.

That's so super sad.

Like, I'm tearing up sad.

Okay, I'll better. Sorry, I get
emotional sometimes.

I'm kind of learning that.

So talk to me.

If your mom gave you her credit card,
what would you buy? And don't say raw

it's my statement piece.

No worries there.

But if my mom just handed out money,
there are so many things I'd buy. A

a barn for the horse, a saddle for the
horse, a greener jacket.

Greener jacket?

For the whore. No, for me. I bought this
other one online, and it looked like a

forest green, but it's more chartreuse.

Have you seen chartreuse?

Not a good green. A better shade of
green jacket. That I totally get. And

should also get it.

From your mom.

No way. If I ask her, she'll just laugh
at me. Oh, please. I am sure. That's not

true.

$500?

Glad you're enjoying this so much.

I'm sorry, but why would I give you
money for a slightly greener jacket?

The one you had is perfectly fine, and
it's a lovely chartreuse. There's no

thing as a lovely chartreuse.

And it's not fair.

Craig gave Diamond $500.

For a rock hat.

A hat made of rock.

Well, in that case, maybe we should ask
Craig to adopt you.

Maybe he can adopt me, too. I could use
$500.

Maybe buy myself a pair of bluer jeans.

Or a sneakier sneaker.

Okay, now you're just being annoying.

You're not going to let this go, are
you?

Oh, no.

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend, her dad, huge
movie star.

And things might get a little crazy,
okay, a lot crazy, but that's just life

Starfall.

Could you pass the roll, please?

Oh, you want a roll, do you?

So when you want something, you expect
me to give it to you, but then when I

want something, you're all, no, that's
ridiculous, you can't have it.

That last part was you laughing.

How about I pass the rules?

So, just reading between the lines here.

Still mad, huh? Not mad. More
disappointed.

Nip. Peeved.

Irked. Actually, mad worked.

Bone. What? I was trying to hit Phoenix.

Spoon.

And your backup spoon.

Anyway, Sophia, we have different rules
in our house.

Oh, you have rules.

And I'd rather not discuss this at
the... Diamond asked her dad for money,

he totally just gave it to her. But when
I asked Mom for money, she laughed at

my face.

Table.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have to
go blow the mashed potatoes out of my

nose.

Listen, I've been a parent longer than
you two combined, so let me give you

some... Dad, got this.

And since now we are discussing it, in
our house you have to earn your own

spending money.

Oh. I'm serious.

But think about it.

Earning is just learning without the L.

I just want Sophia to be sensible,
responsible, not, um... Are you judging

parenting? No. We just have different
styles.

Look, my kids are just used to...
Getting whatever they want whenever they

Exactly. No, that is so not true.

Oh, that must be my slingshot pies.

Slingshot pies?

I have to play with my slingshot.

Not hard to understand.

Credit card?

Just to be clear, you gave him a credit
card to buy pies.

To fling.

With a slingshot.

Well, I, um... Here's your card back.

Dad, need your card next. I saw an
amazing new bongo drum that has onboard

Okay, that cannot be a thing. A lot of
drummers get lost after drum circles.

The need is there.

You know what?

Maybe you're right.

Right about wanting a delicious roll.

Because rolls are delicious.

Maybe it is important for my kids to
earn their own money.

He canceled my rock hat. Do you see how
my head is not glimmering? It should be

glimmering. I can mug your head. You
might shimmer a little. Not helping.

I know.

The whole thing with my mom totally
backfired.

It's a nightmare.

A living nightmare. A living horrible
nightmare. I'm sorry, okay?

Mom has this thing about teaching
lessons and a bunch of other annoying

You're a bunch of other annoying stuff.

It's not my fault.

You said ask my mom for money, which
made her laugh in my face, which made me

not pass the rolls, which made her look
to your dad.

Okay, maybe I had something to do with
it.

But I still say a raw cat is silly.

What, a slightly greener jacket girl?

Point taken.

But Diamond, there are other ways to
make money.

If you mean call my mother, I already
did. She's climbing Mount Fuji and the

cell service up there is so bad. Our
convo was all, I, my, ha, n, what?

You get the idea.

I mean ways that aren't asking your
parents.

You mean cat burgling?

Hey, why do people steal cats anyway?

You don't steal cats.

Oh, I'm sure some people steal cats.

But I'm talking about making your own
money. Doing what? I don't know, like, I

could babysit or you could get a job. Or
sell things you don't use. Okay, job,

eh, but... Selling things?

Gooseberry pie is gonna get air.

Look at that goose fly.

Okay, so your money advice?

Bang on.

Got any tips for a destructive kid with
a giant slingshot?

Hmm. Well, what if we work on limit
setting?

Yes, limit setting.

Genius. Oh, well, I wouldn't say genius.

I wouldn't either.

Dad, got this.

Bo, you need limits.

Okay.

From now on, don't aim at the mailman.

Well, we couldn't hit him anywhere.

That guy can move in those shorts.

Oh, what about that little old lady?

Trees. Aim only for the trees.

Fine. Let's see what Key Lime can do.

For sale, one bed. Done. No, no, no, no.

You want people to need the bed, crave
the bed.

So instead put, for sale, handcrafted
bed made of the finest wood from the

napula pula tree.

Yeah, that's not a tree. It could be a
tree. But it's not a tree.

Boom, babysitting job got.

I am that much closer to my greener
jacket. What about you?

I've started neck exercises in
preparation for my rock hat. It weighs

pounds.

That totally makes it stronger.

Try it, Nate.

Yeah, that's never going to happen.

Yeah, I was talking about your money
-making plan.

Oh, that.

Well, I'm selling stuff I don't use,
just like you said.

Nice. That's great.

Wait, is that my bed?

Actually, it's a handcrafted bed made
from the rare... I'm in the picture,

sleeping.

In the bed!

Okay, I am so confused.

You told me to sell something I don't
use. But I use it!

Fine! How about I let you buy it back?

That'll be $500, please.

$300?

I can't go any lower!

Take my bed off there.

Now!

So, think we can still sell her sheets
and pillows?

Is that a no?

Took all of Sophia's stuff down from
your ad.

Even her toothbrush?

Yeah, because disgusting.

And why would you sell her toothbrush?

Well, I get a lot for my toothbrush.

You know, Webstar.

Wait, you have your own channel.

Don't you make a ridiculous amount of
money?

Isn't that how those things work?

Because I really don't know how those
things work.

Yes, that's how it works. And yes, I
make a ridiculous amount.

Then what's the problem?

Dad won't let me touch it until I'm 21.

But you can't come fast enough.

I'm going to buy so many frivolous
things.

Good for you. Okay, bye.

You're not going anywhere.

Those paths are limited edition.

Limited.

Understood.

Bye. No!

Think, think.

I need money -making ideas.

Now.

I don't know. A job you could do?

Paper route, bottle collecting, lemonade
stand, lumberjack.

Yeah, that's it. Later.

Hey, I was kidding about a lumberjack.

You need a chainsaw.

And a chainsaw safety course.

She's not going to take that course.

Marble Rye, buh -bye.

Okay, so next, wait until Bo does
something good and then praise him.

Okay, but it better happen soon. The
yard looks like a bakery.

No worries, he'll get bored. He can't
keep this up much longer.

I could do this forever and never get
bored.

Okay, parenting geniuses, I'll take it
from here.

Dad, we've got this.

Yeah, we don't got this.

Okay, kid. Come with me and bring the
slingshot.

What are we doing here?

That is grade A manure you're smelling.

Well, a grade A stink.

This pile needs to go on that field and
you're going to do it. Nope.

I'm gonna go order more slingy pies. See
ya.

You can use your slingshot.

Really? Mm -hmm.

This is gonna be awesome!

You can't have a lemonade stand inside
the cafe.

But it looks like it might get chilly
outside.

I can't be chilly.

Oh, well then, I wouldn't want you to be
chilly.

Thanks for understanding.

Lemonade isn't bad.

You mean delicious, right?

It's a flavor explosion, like a lemon
blow up in your mouth.

And then someone opened your mouth and
added in sugar and water.

Sure. I used the highest quality
imported lemons, raw sugar, and hand

water from the French Alps.

Plus, everything tastes better in
crystal glasses, right?

Sure.

Well, well.

So when life gave you lemons, you
actually made lemonade.

Poetic. One glass, please.

Coming up.

That'll be $35.

Is there a friends and family rate? That
is the friends and family rate. Regular

price is $70.

You might have mentioned that before you
gave me the glass.

All I've got is $2.

Actually, $175, some twine, and used
gum.

Fine, I'll take the $175 and the twine.
You can keep the gum.

So, how much did the stand cost?

Well, the ingredients are pricey, and
there's my custom -made table. You paid

someone to make you a table.

That you covered with a cloth.

Oh, and my crystal glasses!

The stand cost a lot.

I'm going to have to raise my prices.

In other glass?

Depends. You take already chewed gum.

So, peep, I'm drowning my sorrows with,
well, lemonade.

Anyway, gotta jet. Later.

So, how was babysitting?

We played beauty salon.

Those kids are not good at beauty salon.

You look horrible.

You sound just like the parrot.

I'm sorry, what?

The tiny demons I was babysitting locked
me in a closet with their insult

-hurling parrot.

I kicked down the closet door to escape,
and now I have to pay for it. I'm in

debt. Have a glass of lemonade.

It'll make you feel better.

Oh, thanks.

That'll be $70.

Seventy dollars?

Yeah, I did a lemonade stand to make
money.

Didn't go well.

I'm in debt, too.

How could you screw up a lemonade stand?

And how could your mom make my dad
cancel my rock hat? Because that totally

completely ruined my life.

Dramatic much?

I'm so sorry you can't get your precious
stone hat.

Semi -precious.

Stay out of my pacing lane. Your pacing
lane? Oh, you're such a princess. And

you're such a... The opposite of a
princess.

You need to work on your insults. Oh,
yeah? Well... Oh, no! Look out! The

parrot!

Yeah,

there was no parrot.

I just said that. I can't...

The opposite of a princess.

You're a duchess.

Actually, the opposite of a princess is
a commoner.

Wait, why am I helping you with
anything?

Good luck getting out of death.

Thanks. And I totally know you're being
sarcastic, but I'm going to pretend to

mean it anyway.

Whatever. I'm going to go drink orange
juice that my mom bought for less than

three dollars.

Well, enjoy your cheap pulpy juice. I
will. Great.

Oh, Sophia, wait.

What?

You're my friend, and friends don't let
friends drink discount orange juice.

You can have some of my lemonade. For
free.

I'm not drinking out of my thick cup. I
know.

I'm not good at doing normal people
stuff, you know?

I guess maybe I've been a tiny bit
spoiled.

I know this wasn't all your fault.

It's okay.

I'm sorry, too.

Okay, now that the mushy stuff's done,
what are we gonna do?

I don't even care about the jacket. I
just want to get out of debt.

Me too. Plus, that rock hat will be out
of style by next week.

Okay, hear me out.

If we work together, we can make more
money more faster. Terrible grammar, but

maybe not the worst plan. So, got any
ideas?

Okay, off the top of my head, we could
build a skyscraper and rent out the

Or design a super popular line of
clothing. Or build a space shuttle for

celebrities. Rich people will pay a lot
to go to space.

Those are all ideas.

But wait, I know.

We'll raise money the way we do for the
rescue.

A little help?

Sure. You missed a spot.

Think maybe you can do a little
scrubbing?

A coupon for the chili hut.

A sub -stamp card.

No stamp.

And 96 .97.

Sweet! I call the chili coupon.

But we're still going to need to wash a
lot more cars.

Ladies!

I know your sign says car wash, but, um,
can you take care of this?

I guess.

How'd you get all that mud on you?

Oh, it's not mud.

That would explain the smell.

Eww!

I'll pay double.

Make a triple.

Deal.

did you do that?

The thing with kids is you don't need
any positive re and whatever.

Or any of that nonsense.

You just need to tire them out.

Works every time.

Huh.

Good night.

Well, we have enough to fix the closet
door and to pay for your stand.

And I learned my lesson.

I'll use cheaper lemons next time.
That's the lesson you learned?

Because you sold my bed.

Now, to be fair, I...

Yes, I sold your bed. If it makes you
feel better, I didn't get much for it.

You need a better bed.

So actually, I did you a favor?

Until I can get a new bed, I'm taking
yours.

Dad, I need your credit card!

Nice bed.

It's being delivered today.

Craig's buying it, but Diamond has to
pay him back.

That explains why she asked if I wanted
to buy a unit of her new skyscraper.

So, question.

Are my arms too long for my body?

That is a question I did not expect to
hear today.

It's something that horrible parrot said
to me.

Now every time I look in the mirror, I
feel like a cavewoman. I think your arms

are perfectly proportioned to your body.

Aw, thanks.

And you really shouldn't let a mean
parrot get in your head like that.

True. Oh, and for the record, I still
think your jacket is a lovely

And I still think there's no such thing
as a lovely chartreuse.

Hey, nice barf green jacket.

How'd you get covered in mud?

Oh, it's not mud.

And that would explain the smell.

Again? Ow!

You don't want to know.