All language subtitles for star_falls_s01e01_the_celebrity_setup

Yes, this LA sun isn't going to soak up
itself.

Later.

Ah, the sun. The origin of life itself.

Yet no place for life to live.

Hey, can I get the sunscreen?

Sure.

Thank you.

Don't look at your phone.

I have something to tell you before you
read it online.

And that is?

I just signed to star in a new movie.

So? Dad, you've been in a million
movies. Why would we care?

This one's shooting in a small town, and
I'm taking you kids there with me for

the summer.

Um, by small town, you mean a small town
in L .A., right?

A rock, paper, scissorsy for it.

Hey, you're the one who wanted to start
an animal rescue.

Yeah, but meant like give a great home
to not literally rescuing them. How did

dog even get in here?

That crawl space does not look safe. Oh,
it isn't. Lots of creatures living in

there. Snakes, rats, snake rats.

What's a snake rat? No idea.

Those other janitors are going to get a
kick out of seeing this one.

Totally right. I mean, not a lot of moms
would gross it up like that just to

help out.

That's why she's my best friend.

Um, hi.

I'm Nate, the dude you usually call your
best friend. She's my best mom friend.

You're my best friend friend.

Friend friend? It's a thing.

Now come on, help me figure out
something nice I can do for her.

Trust me, I already thought about that,
but it's not gonna happen. Okay, two

things. One, you know you can't actually
talk to animals, right? Because no one

can, unless they know magic or
something.

And even then, it would have to be a
certain type of magic, like animal

or... Then two... What's not going to
happen?

You know how they're shooting that new
Craig Brooks movie here in Star Falls?

Let me guess.

You want to set your mom up with Craig
Brooks?

Gigantic movie star Craig Brooks. Every
award winner ever, Craig... Stop saying

Craig Brooks!

Brooks... Sorry. I already started that
one, so I thought I should finish. Look,

I know it's crazy, but my mom has seen
all of his movies a million times.

She loves him. Yeah, good luck.

You'll never get near that dude.

Ew. I really hope we have more towels.

Movie time! I made popcorn.

Me too.

And candy and juice and water and 3D
glasses and... Uh, we don't have 3D

No one does.

So true.

But, Mom, seriously, don't change the
subject.

We had a subject.

You and Craig Brooks.

He's actually in Star Falls.

You can meet him. We just have to find
out where he's staying, get our hands on

some pizza delivery outfits, then bake a
lot of pizzas. Sophia, I appreciate

what you're doing, but I'm not like you.
I'm just not... Bald.

Did you say loud? What? No.

I said bold. Totally said bold.

Anyway, even if I did meet him, I'm sure
he'd never go out with me. I mean, he's

a huge movie star and I'm... Completely
awesome!

With a confidence problem that we really
need to work on.

Aww.

I think.

I just want you to be happy.

I am happy.

And I love that you look out for me. I
do. So, tell you what.

How about instead of meeting Craig
Brooks, we watch a Craig Brooks movie?

We didn't have enough clean towels for
him at the rescue. So you used our clean

towels? Yeah.

Oh, and we're out of clean towels.

And I'll go start the wash.

Hey, Nate, what's... Okay, you're going
to owe me big time for this.

Owe you? Why would I owe... I know how
you can meet Craig Brooks.

What? Turn on Channel 6, and you're
welcome.

That's right. Baxter, our family's dog,
ran away this morning.

He's sort of a light khaki color, or
maybe it doesn't stand.

Either way, Toad's adorable.

He's a friend to all, and to all, a
friend.

And he loves hamburgers. Don't give him
any, because it makes him feel... So if

anyone has seen him, please let us know.

So what movie were you thinking?

Maybe... What?

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend, her dad, huge
movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

But I want to see what's going to
happen.

I don't know what. Nothing.

Nate's just talking about, you know, a
whole lot of nothing.

You need to learn how to whisper. Now
go.

Fine, I'll go.

Where are you going?

Seriously, whisper school. I'm signing
you up.

Whisper school?

Pretty sure that's not... Okay, great
seeing you, Nate. Bye now. Take care.

Sorry you have to go. We're not talking
anymore.

Okay, you were acting weirder than
usual.

Well, that's because I'm a teen... And
teenagers are weird. You know, the

bursts, mood swings, social media
outlets that we're besieged with in

modern times.

Yep. Seriously weird.

Hi.

I'm, uh, looking for my dog.

Of course. Wait.

Whoa. Huh.

Do you know who you are?

Craig Brooks.

Last time I checked.

Of course.

Because you're he.

Him.

I talk.

Can talk. I can talk. Pull it together.

Sorry.

Hi. Um, I'm Beth. It's nice to meet you.
And I, uh, I got a call that my dog was

here, and for some reason I had to pick
him up in person.

Now, only me. No one else.

The girl on the phone said it was some
sort of town law.

Wait, what?

That's right.

Dark Falls is a nutty, nutty place. And
I'm not just talking about the annual

Chestnut Festival MRA.

Anyhoo, here he is.

Oh, Baxter.

Good boy.

Oh, seriously, I can't thank you enough.

Can't thank her enough. She saved my
mom.

She's a veterinarian. Esther says it's
three times the weight. She's never had

cavity. And hold on to your bad self.
She's single. What? I know. Crazy,

And now I understand what's happening
here.

I am so sorry.

No, it's okay.

Actually, it's nice to get away from
set.

Things have been a little stressful.

Stressful? Well, my kids are staying
with me while the movie's shooting, and

they're not loving it.

Especially my daughter.

Small town living isn't exactly her
thing.

She's already made us move houses three
times because none of them were adorbs

enough. Teenage girls.

Not easy.

Exactly. Totally.

Wait. Anyway, I've got to get back.

Thanks so much.

I hope I see you around.

I hope I see you around.

I hope I see you around. Do you know
what that means? That he hopes to see me

around. There were sparks.

Major, major sparks.

I'm so glad I didn't get burned because
of those sparks.

Sophia, I appreciate what you're trying
to do, but dating a movie star, that is

so not me.

But I want to help you. If it's meant to
happen, it'll happen on its own. Yeah,

but... Sophia.

Hey, no more helping. Got it.

you do if you want to help someone but
they don't want to be helped?

How long you been there? Ten minutes.

And Grandpa, why do you still read the
newspaper?

You know you can get all that stuff on
your phone.

Phones are for calling.

Newspapers are for news -ing.

Uh -huh. Yeah, now that we got that
cleared up, who are you trying to help?

Oh, you don't know her. She's my friend
from two towns over.

We met at Crafts Camp.

Crafts Camp.

Okay, okay, you don't have to tell me.

I'm still going to give you advice.

You know why?

Because I'm swell that way.

I say, help your friend.

Sometimes people need a push in the
right direction because they don't

know what's good for them.

Where's my bacon and eggs?

You know bacon and eggs aren't good for
you, right? This whole helping thing

does not apply to me. Got it? Totally.
Not you. Yep.

Love you.

You too, Grandpa.

So as far as Sophia's schemes go, this
is a big one. Maybe the biggest.

Thank you.

Not a compliment. Your mom's going to
freak when she finds out you're renting

out the house.

And that's why this is a fun surprise,
Nate.

One that she will thank me for when she
is dating Craig Brooks.

Yeah, I do not want to be here when that
fun surprise happens.

Relax. You worry too much.

Well, one of us should.

Just saying, you might want to take a
step back, give it a little more

And listed.

And I was never here. See ya.

But why is one called a burrito and the
other an enchilada? They're totally the

same thing.

I think it has to do with the
possibility of rice being involved.

You just made that up, didn't you? Yeah,
pretty much. So where do you want this

stuff?

Uh, not in my house. Who are you?

Mover. And I was talking to him.

Well, if you want to put my clothes up
in the master bedroom, that'd be great.

And... Oh, hi.

Again.

Oh, wait. You own the rental house?

Rental house?

Well, Mom, remember the time you said we
could rent out rooms and it'd be super

awesome and cool and, like, the best
thing ever?

Not really.

Well, I do. And I thought, hey, Craig's
looking for a totally adorbs place, and

our place is pretty adorbs.

And, well, your birthday is coming up
someday, so surprise!

One sec.

Sophia, this is bad helping. Bad
helping.

Really? Because no cuz. He cannot stay
at our house.

Well, you know, it's not just him.

Um... Did

you hear me say surprise?

You did. Got it? Just making sure.

But seriously, his daughter, Diamond, is
super famous, too. She has her own

online channel, Diamond Life. I mean,
how cool is that? She has her own

Well, that changes everything.

Really? No, that was sarcasm.

Look, I'm sorry, but we're not renting
the house.

Let me guess.

Teenage Girls Strikes Again?

They're not easy.

So not easy. Okay, the stereotyping?
Verging on uncool.

I love this place.

It's earthy.

It's real.

It's like the essence of everything, yet
nothing at all.

My son, Phoenix, he's deep.

Hey, how do I get on the roof? Why? No
worries. I'll figure it out.

And that's Beau.

He's challenging.

Look, I'm sorry about this.

You're sorry?

You're not the one who'll be grounded
until she's 90. I should head back to

production office so they can find us a
new place to stay.

And I'll come with you so I can
apologize to everyone.

And don't go diving to her room in case
you change your...

Grounded till I'm 90. Yep, got it.

And so that's my bed.

You'll sleep on the air mattress.

It's really comfy.

Oh, that's okay. I'll just take this bed
and you can have the... What did you

call it?

You've never heard of an air mattress?

No. Ooh, is that French?

I don't see how it could be.

Are you live streaming this?

Of course.

Only two million followers.

Slow day.

Hey, everyone. I want you to meet my new
bestie, Susan.

It's Sophia and I really don't want to
be your...

Hello, two million people.

Isn't she just amazing?

Okay, loves, gotta jet. See you in the
AM.

So, gotta admit, still trying to wrap my
head around all... this.

You actually lied about your house being
for rent just so you could lure my

family here? I don't know if I'd say
lure.

Luring is never really a good thing, is
it? I mean, when fishing, sure. Although

not if you're the fish. Wow.

We've had intense fans before, but
you've booked the intense hotel.

And the penthouse.

The penthouse is also intense? Yeah, no,
I got that. But I'm not a fan. I just

think our parents would be awesome
together.

Wait, you did all this because you want
them to date? Yep.

Ever think about, oh, I don't know,
setting them up on a date? I tried, but

that didn't work, I thought this is the
next best option.

Luring us here. Seriously, not a great
word.

But if you had seen them at the rescue,
there were sparks.

Big, sparkling, sparking sparks.

Sarah! Sophia!

Uh -huh? As soon as I can, I'm getting
me, my dad, and my brother out of here.

You have two brothers.

You can keep Bo.

Oh, and if there isn't a decent sushi
place within a two -mile radius, I'm

holding you totally responsible for my
seaweed deficiency.

If there's a barbecue place just up the
street, there's a cute sign with a pig

and a chef's hat, and maybe they have
ham sushi!

Yeah, that's probably not a thing.

Sirius and Diamond!

Starfall is so great!

Pass it to me!

Sausage! Sausage! Hands up! What is
happening?

Duck! Watch out!

I got it!

Sausage me!

Nice reflexes. Do you want to play?

Play? This is a game?

Sausage ball. I just made it up. Where
do all these people come from? Friends.

What was yours? Fan.

Name? What?

It's a game?

Enemy product.

Hey, no sausage back!

You sure you want my family living here?
Yes, and see?

That's how much I want my mom to meet a
great guy I'm willing to put up with.

Dad!

You know, the fact that you deal with Bo
just to make your mom happy?

Pretty sweet.

Really? Yeah.

But I'm still getting a fat beer.

I admire what you're doing.

I do.

True love?

Only two words, but so much power, so
much beauty.

Really? So you'll help me get our
parents together?

You want our parents together?

Oh, I was talking about something else.

Heads up!

You got it!

Come on, I'm telling you.

Starfold is awesome.

I mean, if you want celebrities,
Starfold is full of them.

Really? Oh, yeah.

This bench was donated by the backup
keyboardist for... Some band my mom

to that I can never remember the name
of. Yeah, so not LA.

And this is the Falling Owl Cafe.

Anyone who is anyone hangs out here.
Falling Owl? Yeah, there's this

owl on Starfall.

Fall to sleep while it's flying.

Big Mac.

But hey, just like all trendy
restaurants, this place has a secret

Really? Well, sort of. They'll put
cheese on anything if you ask.

So, not LA.

And this is where the magic happens.

Whoa, that is a huge magic shop.

Oh, no, not that kind of magic.

This is the Star Falls City Hall.

I meant, like, lawmaking magic.

Gross. They actually just passed a bill
banning street magic.

There was a dove incident.

It was a whole thing.

Definitely not L .A.

And this is Cottonball, the cutest
animal here in the rescue.

I mean, come on.

I bet you guys never get to be around
adorbs animals like this in L .A.

Well, he is pretty cute.

And he peed on me. Cottonball!

That bunny's all right.

Hey, you know what, Stephanie?

No, Sophia.

There's a place where I don't get peed
on by animals. It's the happy, wonderful

place that I'd give just about anything
to be at right now. Know what it's

called? L .A.

Exactly.

You couldn't hold it for ten seconds?

Smell my hand.

Not falling for that again.

Oh, I need to know if I still smell like
bunny pee. You do.

Oh! I mean, Cottonball was just trying
to say he likes you. He's comfortable

enough to release his blood.

I just want to get out of here.

Okay, so the production office found us
another house, and yes, it's definitely

totes adorbs.

Perfection. Now we just have to get out
of here before... Wait, you can't go

yet. Got it.

Okay, Sophia, that's it.

Mom, listen.

This isn't about getting you and Craig
together.

Or trying to get you to stay at our
house.

It's just... Well, I kind of got to show
you.

I'm throwing you and everything about L
.A. I know from watching movies and TV

parties. Of course, this is Star Falls,
so I had to make some compromises. But

check it out!

A fancy Hollywood pool.

A make -your -own beach volleyball
court.

Complete with bags of sand.

And a red carpet with paparazzi.

Want to get a picture of the big celebs,
huh?

Not really.

Can I go now?

So?

Pretty great, right?

All right.

Best two out of three?

Okay, then we'll hit the pool.

I mean, she set up a whole red carpet.

We should probably, you know, walk it.

Probably should.

Serious? You thought all this would
change my mind? No. Because it won't,

Wait.

You knew it wouldn't work?

Then why do it? I did all this.

I wanted to say I'm sorry.

What I did wasn't right.

I shouldn't have tricked your family
into staying in our house.

And I know how much you miss L .A., so I
thought I'd try to bring a little L .A.

to you.

Or at least have a cliche about L .A. to
think of.

Well, our palm trees aren't, you know,
inflatable.

Yeah, I kind of get that.

But the red carpet is, you know, pretty
close to red.

Thanks. I borrowed it from the bowling
alley.

Look, Diamond, my mom is my best friend.

I just wanted her to meet someone.

You know, be happy.

Well, maybe, maybe I could talk to my
dad.

See if we could stay at your house just
while the movie's filming.

Really? The party changed your mind?

Oh, you're serious? No, no, it wasn't
the party.

Then what was it?

That.

You weren't wrong. Major sparks.

You think?

Oh, yeah.

Aw, actually not, you know, terrible.

Um, I think...

He's super cute.

Well, he was named handsomest man alive
three years in a row, so sure, I admit

it. He's cute.

But just because you're staying with us
doesn't mean that Craig and I are

getting together. You know that, right?

Oh, I know.

See, the way you said that makes me
think that you don't know.

It's all good, Mom.

I get it.

Or mom -daughter moment means I'm not
grounded?

Nope. Still very, very grounded. Till
90.

Yeah, make it 85.

Aw, you're the best.