All language subtitles for simon_simon_s05e03_the_third_eye

Trevor! I must have dropped off.

Go back to sleep, Joan.

I'm... I'm sure you're tired of hearing
this, but... I love you,

Trevor.

I love you, too.

Joan, I need another 50 ,000.

There's some loose ends.

After all that money I put up for the
deposit.

That was for the finder's fee and
expenses.

We need the deposit now, or else we'll
lose all the money that they spent on

property. I sold my stock for this.

And what if the whole thing is a fraud?

Joan, if you think I'm that dumb... Oh,
don't.

You're the only thing I care about.

She thinks I'm being swindled.

Can you believe it?

What's she going to do about it?

I told her I had some papers. She wants
her lawyer to look at them.

We can't fool a lawyer with forgeries.

How could you tell her that?

It bought us the weekend.

But that means we have to handle it by
Monday.

You know, there's this guy I still have
a score to settle with.

He'd be perfect to take the heat off us.

Hey, I hope I'm hallucinating. I thought
I just saw a kid walking away with Bud.

Who's Bud?

Bud, my lucky spider.

Bud's luck just ran out.

Just because I saw that stupid picture.

A 19th century etching of Andrew Jackson
is not just a stupid picture, and it's

not exactly Mr. Gorman's toaster, which
you also sold.

This, this is Andrew Jackson. What you
had was a picture of an old drunk in a

fireman's uniform.

Excuse me. What? What are you asking for
this book?

I don't know. How much do you like this?
That actually is a mistake. It's not

supposed to be out here, Mr. Peel. Rick,
this is the author of the book,

Marshall Peel. Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

I just wondered what they were going for
these days.

I've been reading your books and
articles for years now.

So you're the one.

Oh, yeah, you're the guy that writes
about Southern California careers and

that. It's more than just that, Rick. I
mean, it's participatory journalism.

Before he wrote about the orchestra, he
conducted it. I almost got killed doing

that. But you're right.

I don't write about anything without
trying it myself first.

And before I write about private
detectives, I'd like to be one.

I'll pay your normal rates, and it's
just for a week.

Excuse us a minute.

Just per week, he's going to pay us our
normal rate. What could we possibly

lose? Our reputations, for one thing.
You want people to think we're running

of those private high schools, give us
your money and we'll send you at the

of ring?

No, let's go for it.

All right, but I don't like it.

Okay,

but look, understand, being a private
detective is not just putting on some

shoulder pads or getting into a costume
and cavorting around in front of a

friendly audience, you know? I once lost
a territorial dispute to a 300 -pound

tackle. Though it's not usually
dangerous, either. No, most of the time

just boring. I mean, it's sitting in a
parked car, an eight -hour shift.

I heard you were the best.

That's what the best do?

I'm willing to do it.

Journal entry, Monday.

The three largest detective agencies in
San Diego have turned me down.

All I could find was a pair of brothers
who work out of a loft in the Gaslamp

District. I'm ready for a week of
keyhole peeping and stolen auto parts.

I thought that stuff was no longer with
us.

Didn't sell.

Come in.

Sorry I'm late. My publisher forgot to
tell me you moved your office.

I hope you didn't have any trouble
finding us. No, I didn't. Left his

at 915, went to the Donut Hacienda. You
followed me.

Yeah. That's the first habit you have to
break, seeing only those things that

you expect to see.

Learn to notice the things that don't
fit.

He just went into Simon & Simon
Investigations.

Then you better find someone else. No,
this is perfect.

Those detectives will be a big help to
us.

Are you being practical, or is it that
article he wrote?

Both.

up, you're dead.

The tumbler plug won't rotate until
you've got the pins in line.

You just rake the tension bar with the
pick.

This is hard to do in the dark.

It's not the sort of thing you do during
the day. Let's try it again.

Again. What'd you do with the little
flashlight I gave you?

You just hold it in your mouth and you
can work with both hands.

It's amazing how the skills they taught
me are similar to the skills of

criminals.

The big difference between a detective
and a criminal is that one of them comes

to the police station in his own car.

Morning. Mike.

All right, where do you want to start?
Corner domestic, assisted or unassisted,

with gunplay or without, singles or
groups?

Groups. We'll start with an easy one.

To those outside of law enforcement, it
might seem strange, but I was once

disguised as a red overstuffed sofa.

You get the suspect to assume the
position.

Come on, Lieutenant. Lieutenant Brown, a
friend of Rick and AJ's, is an expert

at arresting people.

Okay. Criskin.

Ah!

Stepped in front of the gun. Next move,
you get shot.

Okay.

You hold the gun.

This pup could be loaded.

Okay.

How's that?

Not bad.

However, one minor detail.

Nixon, these things are illegal.

I'm a cop.

Simon, Simon, investigations.

Yes?

What?

Could you hold on just a moment, please?

Rick, I thought we agreed never to do
another repo on a hearse.

This is just bad luck, A .J.

Rick?

Yeah.

Yes.

We'll be right over.

Listen, Marshall, you're getting real
good at this and everything, but I think

maybe you'll want to just, you know, sit
this one out. I've always wanted to

repossess a car.

Not this car, Marshall. Trust me.

Rick?

Like those books where the detective
gets the girl.

There is no girl.

I was alone in the office. It was a
bleak, foggy night.

No, that's no good.

It was another sultry afternoon in San
Diego.

The sun was hot and bright and
merciless.

Then she walked in.

Mr. Simon?

I need your help right away.

I'm not Mr. Simon. My name is Peele.

I'm an associate of the firm.

It's my mother. She's disappeared.

Please, don't cry. Let me take your name
and your mother's name.

Mary McKenzie.

My mother's name is Joan.

I haven't seen her for two days.

Just calm down.

When and where was she last seen? Two
days ago, at her house.

I've been calling and calling, but there
hasn't been any answer.

I have a terrible feeling about this.

I think it best that we call the police.
I did, but they won't get involved

until it's too late.

Please. I'm so frightened.

Well, frankly, I'm not a detective.

You mean you won't help me?

I just don't know what I can do.

Just go with me to her house.

It's not much to ask.

Please.

I just know something's happened to her.
Relax. Most missing persons show up on

their own.

But it's worth a thorough check anyway.

Oh, no. I can't find the key.

Not to worry.

Excuse me.

To Joan with love, from me.

Miss McKenzie?

Miss McKenzie?

Miss McKenzie?

Miss McKenzie?

You check around back.

We'll take a look up there.

Still no answer.

Forget it, AJ. Guy's not serious.

You guys really know how to pick them.

Okay, I'm up for 20 questions. Animal,
vegetable, or mineral?

Perpetrator. A wealthy widow, Joan
McKenzie, was murdered today in La

Peel left everything but a confession.

Peel? Yeah.

That's nuts.

The lady was strangled with a towel from
the Villa Erotica.

We know that Peele did some research
there.

Uh, correct in the assumption that this
is not an Italian restaurant?

A private club.

Social club?

Very social. They believe the best
things in life are kinky.

How hard are you looking for him? Well,
we don't want to ruin his reputation, so

we're keeping it quiet for now. But if
he doesn't turn himself in soon, he's

going to be very much in demand.

Because of a towel?

Come on, town.

His fingerprints were all over the
place, especially on the lock he picked.

Now, I've warned you, too.

You don't want people to think you're
running a black bag school here.

I don't believe it.

He's not the type.

You and I know there is no type.

Well, we better start checking it out.
Come on down, show us what you got.

Things stinks out loud.

For once, things can be as bad as they
look, you know.

The police have already gotten to Rick
and AJ.

I'm on my own.

The towel.

Either Joan McKenzie was here or the
murderer was. But I'll settle for the

that set me up.

If you have trouble connecting the right
name with the right face, at Villa

Erotica, you might be interested in this
afternoon's seminar on sharpening your

memory. Remember to sign up in advance.

Hi. Excuse me, I'm looking for the
manager. Can you help me?

That's a help.

Here at the Villa Erotica, we don't need
to be managed.

Just introduced.

Jake is our master of ceremonies.

Well, that would be great.

To meet Jake, I mean.

Right through the door, just before the
group encounter area.

Thank you.

Horst?

Horst?

This way.

Ambrosia.

All right, send them in.

Thank you, Ambrosia. Thank you,
Ambrosia.

Welcome to the Villa Erotica, gentlemen.

I'm afraid Ambrosia forgot to announce
you, or are you interested in our

anonymous memberships? No way, Jake. How
do you do? I'm Bob Bakersfield, and

this man obviously needs no
introduction.

Or perhaps he does. Let me introduce
Horst Der Spiegel, monsieur

Fitness expert and the first European to
experiment with glandular body

products. We have all the messieurs we
need.

You don't seem to understand, Jake. Now,
although we do not accept endorsements,

we are willing to expand the
distribution of our exclusive line of

products. This is a private consortium
dedicated to psychosocial fulfillment.

Horst would like you to explain.

A country club for people that don't
play golf, Worst.

Horse, Schweinhund.

Ah, well, we would like to do you and
your club a favor. Now, Jake, just close

your eyes and allow Horst here to
introduce you to a product that will

your socks off.

That's luscious. What is it?

Luscious? What does luscious mean? It's
good. This is Horst's latest innovation,

aerobic musk. Now, Jake, we make no
claims about healing powers. You

that. What's your proposition?

We will send absolutely free and at no
obligation a complete selection of our

health products to all your members.

Our membership list is private.

You will also receive a complete line of
our innovative and imaginative health

aids for your establishment.

Plus discounts on future purchases.

This includes a rebate.

Rebate? All right, a kickback, 5%. A lot
of people want our mailing list.

You don't seem to understand, Jake.
These are very special health products.

Horst here is over 60 years old. This
man represented the fatherland in the 36

Olympics. All right, 10%. I'll get
Ambrosia to make you a coffee. Thank

Jake.

I'll be right back.

Try and keep Jake busy. You get a look
at the books.

Well, membership records should do it. I
mean, it's members only. You pay

monthly.

How do you know that?

I just happened to read Marshall's
article on the place, that's all.

Just out of curiosity, did you happen to
read any of the other articles? Not

yet. I haven't had time.

It'll be a few minutes. You can go over
to one of the other buildings.

Ah, lovely.

How's my McGinn?

Horace here was wondering what your
facilities are like.

Well, I'd be happy to show him around
and get your ideas.

Well, you two go ahead. Horst is, after
all, the expert. I'll just stay here and

wait for Ambrosia.

Oh, you're a sly dog, Bob, but she's
heard it all.

Down there is the massage area.

Rubdowns.

Massage.

I'd better get your pal to translate.

Uh -huh.

Massage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go.

Massage. Wonderful.

You can't go down there. That's price.

Uh -huh.

Massage.

Hey, cut that out.

That feels weird. What are you doing?

This is horse to Spiegel. He gives the
very best massage in the world.

Massage? I'm paying 800 bucks a month
for a massage?

When you invite guests, please be sure
to register them at the main office.

At Villa Erotica, you can have
refreshments delivered to you at any

pick up the nearest white courtesy
phone.

Ah, thank you, Ambrosia.

Listen, I was just wondering if perhaps
you would... No, no, no, I just work

here. Won't you take a hike, Romeo?

Yeah, San Diego Police Department,
please.

Emergency line.

Yeah, I've just seen Marshall Peel.

The man you called about.

Well, he's at the Villa Erotica.

In the parking lot, there are four
Washington, D .C. plates out there. Do

know, this place has got nude beach, hot
tub rooms. Any sign of the police? None

that are on duty.

Horse. Oh, horse.

Woo.

Just don't ask, all right?

I'd kind of like to check around a
little bit more. Okay, good for you.

meet you in the car.

Fine, but...

That must be him.

Why are you running? Because they're
chasing me. Oh.

Rick and A .J. told me to notice what
doesn't fit.

Okay. Joan McKenzie was never here.

She wasn't big enough to strangle anyone
with a towel, so it's a man, and he

knew John McKenzie, and he must know me.

Rick and AJ also taught me that you
never draw attention to yourself.

Take your time.

Obey traffic law.

and your brakes don't work, at least
scream.

There

you

go. Thank you.

Welcome.

There was...

There was resistance from some
surprising places, but the warrant for

Erotica came through. If you want a
sneak preview, there it is. That is a

different Cecilia Simon. I know that.

Yeah, and Joan McKenzie's never been to
the place.

Okay, here's one for you.

Marshal Peel was seen on the premises
yesterday by someone named Ambrosia

Kowalski.

Has anybody actually ever seen Peel with
Joan McKenzie?

No. If they were having an affair, they
were quiet until the end.

The thing that really makes this bad,
guys, is that he hasn't turned himself

Yeah, but he took a big chance going
back to the sex farm.

I mean, if he's guilty, what'd he go
there for, to get another towel?

I'm going to make a copy of this list.

I'll take your mother's name off of it.
That's a different Cecilia Simon.

Of course it is.

He's not running. Nope.

Not turning himself in.

He's trying to find the killer on his
own.

Must have been him in Jake's office
yesterday.

I was within five feet of the guy.

Well, he knows John McKenzie was never
there.

Yeah. Who is he looking for?

A person who would like to see him take
the fall for a murder.

The only place we can look has been his
life.

Only his life is being other people.

I tell you, I never knew the guy wrote
so much.

So far, I got him playing with the
Chargers, being a sushi chef, fighting

bulls, and working as a hairstylist.

Well, I've got him training for the
space shuttle, designing sports cars,

conducting the Philharmonic, playing for
the Dodgers, spring training, working

as a stand -up comedian.

Well, he already knows everything he's
done, so he's going to have a big head

start on us.

Okay, well, where do you want to start?

Okay.

A guy who said he was from the IRS spent
the morning going over their old

reservation lists.

Got me. We're closing out.

Okay, I got some of this for you, by the
way. Hope you fell.

No, I don't eat food with faces.

Maybe baseball is the connection.

Joan McKenzie could have been in Florida
last spring when I was at the Dodgers

training camp, but how am I supposed to
remember all of my fans or each book I

ever autographed?

Look at that jerk.

How does a guy like that avoid the cops
for three days?

Can't we make another anonymous call?

We did it at the house.

One more time, they'd know it's a frame.

What about the detectives?

You said we could use them.

Holmes and Watson?

They get a bad case of the slows.

They had their chance at Villa Erotica.

Are we going to kill him?

No. He's going to kill himself.

Come on. We've got to track this guy a
little longer.

What is this, a painting?

I'm telling you, I get no respect. I
don't need this. I used to open for

in Vegas.

I'll never forget one thing he said to
me. He said, Jackie, get out of the way.

Did you hear about my girlfriend?

Boy, is she fat.

How fat is she? She is so fat, she's got
turn signals on her jeans.

Guy goes to his doctor.

Doctor says, well, we've got the test
results back. I've got bad news and

bad news. The bad news is you've got 24
hours to live.

The really bad news is I've been trying
to call you for two days.

So what do you think? What do you think
of my kid, Jackie?

Kid? What did he do, bring his grandson?

Come on, what do you think, huh?

You think he's ready for the holiday
house to put down boy?

Yeah, sure, it's probably ready for him.
It burned down a couple of years ago.

No, not that one.

I'm talking about the big new one they
built across the river, huh?

What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.

Get it?

Lean beef.

You can level.

What do you think? I think that you
might break even on him if he doesn't

lot.

Okay.

Okay. I got some other talent you like.

I got a... Oh, I just remembered.

You know one of my kids?

Marshall Peale. Yeah, he got his start
right here a couple months ago.

You mean he decided to do this for a
living? Yeah.

No wonder he was hanging around here
today.

Two elephants are sitting in a tree.

All of a sudden, a cow flies by. They
ignore it. Why make a big deal of it?

Then another cow flies by, and then
another, and then another one. Finally,

elephant turns to the other and says,
there must be a nest.

He doesn't need an agent. He needs a
bodyguard.

Who? Marshall or Jackie?

Take your pick. They both stink.

As a matter of fact, I got Marshall
booked three nights next week.

That's funny.

You mentioned that.

Yeah, well, that's because I haven't
been able to reach him on the phone.

Did he say anything to you about where
he was going when he left here?

What am I?

My brother's keeper?

Guy falls out of a third -story window.
A cop walks up to him and says, hey,

buddy, what happened?

Guy says, I don't know. I just got here.

Swing at that, son.

Keep your eye on the ball.

You've got to believe there's no pitcher
alive.

and get you out.

Nice swing, son.

Nice little swing.

Of course, it must have looked like the
full moon floating up there.

Mr. Lasorda?

I want to see some smoke, son. Blow that
ball by him.

Tommy. Hi.

He's Rick Simon. Rick Simon. This is my
brother, AJ. We're private investigators

from San Diego.

Padre fans, huh?

Yeah, well, somebody's got to do it.

Actually, we were here to talk to you
about Marshall Peel.

Oh, yeah, that writer.

Good pencil, but no glove. What about
him?

You seen him lately?

As a matter of fact, somebody said they
saw him around here yesterday.

That's it, son. Keep the ball down.

Do you know who he talked to? Yeah, a
couple of scouts who were here looking

over the talent.

What's this all about? Is Peel in
trouble?

He was trying to play out Peel for you,
right?

Well, he's trying to be a detective for
us.

I can see your problem.

You know, last spring...

He lost a grounder in the sun.

Well, thank you very much for your time.
Tommy, I think this guy's got a little

problem with his release. Oh, jeez.
Rick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could hit him.

Even A .J. could hit him. Think so?
Yeah.

See those bats?

Get one.

Let's see what you can do.

Move over. We got another Ted Williams.

Hey, hot shot. Try to hit it with the
big end of the bat.

has to be it.

Joan McKenzie could pay a quarter of a
million for a car.

If she bought one while I worked here,
then maybe the killer was around to see

it.

Each car handmade like a piece of
jewelry, made to order, made for

Martin, Manning, McCafferty, McAuliffe,
McDougal, McMahon, McNelson.

It's got to be here someplace.

Where is it?

You. I'm sorry I ran away.

I'm so upset and frightened.

Who are you? Why did you do this to me?

marshal what are you a deranged fan it's
where they bake the paint on the cars

isn't it just like an oven certainly is
have you found the gun

yes it's loaded all

right now i'm armed to the teeth but i'm
in an empty room with nothing to shoot

it you'll think of something

Hi, town.

A .J., where have you guys been? They
found your friend's rented car about an

hour ago.

Where was it?

Can you meet us there?

No, no, I can't. I got something going
down here in about ten minutes. I'll

to talk to you later, okay?

Yeah. Bye.

All right, you clowns.

Now, remember, no one enters the tent
until the tear gas has had a chance to

work. Is that clear?

Let's go, Nick.

What if he doesn't pull the trigger?

Who cares? It'll be an accident instead
of a suicide.

Rick yeah drawers been forced

There's

no McKenzie on the billing list

I'm telling you, I don't know the woman.

Well, whoever framed you knew exactly
where you and Mrs. McKenzie crossed

I've got your donuts right here. All
right.

You guys do any good? No.

All right, let's get this credit report.

Beginning with personals.

Mm -hmm.

Mm, good donut.

Well, I have no personal life, just my
job.

Okay.

Organizations? The Sierra Club and the
Audubon Society.

No. Nothing here.

Vacations from last year?

None. These maple ones are my favorite.

I don't like that.

Did you ever visit a dentist named
Evanston?

No. First week of August, he was with
San Diego Chargers.

August, August, August.

She's in the Bahamas.

Anybody want that last peanut butter
one?

Go for it. Couldn't you fellas just help
me disappear with a new identity?

This is murder, Marshall.

It's a felony.

I never stop looking.

Okay, before the San Diego charges,
worked as a hairstylist.

It's not a salon.

Gerard, Gerard.

Before that, I was... Save it.

We got a match.

Don't worry, Mom.

Marshall did a great Gerard, Gerard
imitation on the phone. It's all set.

And what if the real Gerard happens to
show up? He's in France, celebrating

Bastille Day.

Just remember what Bastille Day is all
about.

Prisons.

Hello. Can I help you?

This is Simone and Tiguerre for their
appointment with Richard.

Richard.

I don't believe we have a Richard.

Perhaps at one of the other... The
appointment was made over a month ago.

Here? Of course not. In Paris.

Gerard promised that he would have...
Oh, Mrs.

Simone, I am so sorry, but I had
turbulence over Hong Kong and then again

Honolulu. Oh, I often wonder about those
airplanes.

Oh, no, the flight was fine. I had the
turbulence.

Oh, I'm all over that now, and I'm ready
to go to work.

You promised that you would come with
me, Trevor.

Now what's going on that's more
important?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Bradley, but I'm loaded
down with appointments that day.

Break your other appointments, Mr. Bath.

I'm afraid I can't do that, Mrs.
Bradley.

Tika, good dog.

Good dog.

Sorry.

Tika doesn't like shampoo.

Mrs. Bradley, why don't you step over
here for a manicure?

Let's see. Nails, nails, right over
here.

Right here, dear. Thank you.

What have you got? What have you got so
far?

Nothing. The only thing that's weird
around here is you.

Nicole, the two detectives are here.

That's right.

Now try to get to all three banks and
don't forget the safe deposit boxes.

Don't worry.

I know them.

They don't know me.

What about Joan McKenzie?

She was his regular client.

That's great.

That's wonderful. Thank you.

Look, can you take Tiger back to Carlos?

It's Rick. And we're over at Gerard
Gerard's. Get over here. We'll meet you

the background.

Right.

Ah, good.

Got the article. Right here.

Okay.

That's... I wondered why such adult was

the favorite of the ladies.

But as Tarzan proved for all time, a
five -word vocabulary is no drawback

you have a flat stomach and a great deal
of hair.

I've always thought that myself.

You actually said that about him?

That's why I write. Why should he be any
different?

Because he's vengeful.

You aware that Joan McKenzie was one of
his regular clients?

You're saying he framed me because I
insulted him in a magazine article?

Well, a little insult, a lot of injury.

If you were getting money from these
women, you may have blown it for him.

you'd make a great ball guy.

I just don't think this klutz has the
imagination to do this to me.

Well, that's one way to find out. See if
he leads us to the girl. Wait, you're

still just a little wet.

Well, you're wet.

Roger.

Roger, get the roll.

That's her, Rick. That's the girl who
tried to kill me.

Are you sure about that?

Absolutely. I've got a very good memory
for that sort of thing.

The box has been in the bank. I've got
everything in the car. What do you have

to pack up?

Party's over, Mr. Bass.

Go to the police. Hold it.

How many times do we have to tell you?

Over and over and over again, we told
you. Never, never, never step in front

a gun. It's just stupid.

It's okay, folks. Everything's under
control. Okay, Marshall, now call the

police. Not in front of the gun.

Don't move around.

In my time with Rick and A .J., I made a
few minor mistakes.

But I learned they had something they
couldn't teach anyone.

Instinct and insight about people.

Well, thank you, Marshall.

That's very nice.

That's very nice.

Minor mistakes?

I would hardly call your mistakes minor.

We'll meet

you downstairs in the bar.

Mr.

Simon, I need your help right away and I
was just... I'm not Mr. Simon. My name

is Peel.

Marshall Peel.

But I'm an associate of the firm.

How can I help you?