Original subtitles

Nobody has ever caught him, AJ.

That's how good he is.

Go get him!

Yeah, that's right.

We're going for it.

10 -34.

Mark, check.

Okay. We're in at 10 -40.

Get what we came for.

Out at 10 -45.

Right.

Don't use these unless it's absolutely necessary.

All right, go around the back.

Everybody stay where you are.

Put your hands in the air and don't move.

This is a robbery.

Do exactly as you're told and no one will get hurt.

You, face down on the floor.

Now, why don't you take me to Miss Carlisle's bichon?

Let's go!

I hope you misunderstood.

I said Miss Carlisle's bitch, and then tuck it. Take a look. That's not even a

bitch.

Come on.

Come on.

Now, that's a champion.

Open it.

Hurry up.

Come on, baby. Come to daddy.

As we get back, she gets clipped.

Lose that show quality, make her look like any other pet.

All right, let's go.

Well, the Lakers and the Sixers both cheers the ball to Jamal Wilkes. Wilkes

likes to put up that 20 -foot layup, as Chick calls it, but he goes to the

dribble drive along the baseline. He rams into a defender, and it's called

charging. Charging, you're nuts.

The 76ers with possession.

Defensive play by Nixon. Nixon to Hudson.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a great NBA contest.

Kareem Abdul -Jabbar. Defense!

Defense! As the 76ers do a little bit of a weave outside.

They get to number six, Dr. J. Q deserving passes down the middle of

pass. Intercepted by Kareem Abdul -Jabbar. He throws to midcourt to

Hudson further down the floor to Nixon. He's got a layup. He's on the breakaway

doors. A beautiful play.

The Lakers still frail by six points. Answer the door!

Why should I answer the door? Why can't you answer the door? Because I'm

watching history in the making here. We can just go get the door.

History until the game of next week.

And they call goaltending.

Goaltending!

It was not goaltending. The ball's going to be turned down for it because the

ball's still on it upward, are you? It was not goaltending.

with this dog.

Rick, do you know how long it takes for asparagus to come up?

Three years. Three years I've waited for my asparagus to come up and your dog

decided to tear it all up just so he could bury these.

Those are my slippers, Mr. Gorman, next to my brother. I'm sorry about... My

poor asparagus.

Sorry...

Well, AJ, it's asparagus. I'll get him a package of frozen asparagus.

I'll get you a package of frozen slippers.

Come on, Marlowe.

Come on.

Kill, Marlowe.

Oh, yes, what a good dog.

You don't seriously believe that a...

Jealous dog owner did this.

Just climbing the road till the blue ribbon is littered with broken hearts.

Well, the guy sure knew about dogs.

When they tried to give him the mail, he said, no, I don't want the dog, I want

the bitch. He knew the right terminology.

Come on, this has all the earmarks of a pro. The guy didn't leave anything

traceable behind him. He knows a lot more than just dogs.

Yeah. The police and I have a difference of opinion.

They don't think I should pay the ransom.

They don't seem to understand the value of a champion.

Ms. Carlisle.

If you want us to help you pay the ransom, we certainly will.

But the police are right.

I mean, just paying him $50 ,000 doesn't guarantee you're going to get the dog

back. They told me he might kill her anyway.

My father gave Nantucket to me for my 25th birthday.

We had a wonderful party.

A lot of my friends were there.

It was the last time I was ever lonely.

I know how you feel. I've got a dog, too.

I have to pay.

Well, we'll do everything we can to get it back to you safely.

Hey, Tom.

Hey, Tom, can I have lunch?

Hey, I do respect to Marlowe.

Wait, there is no respect to Marlowe.

Keep it, boy.

Come on, it takes a thief to catch a thief. It takes a dog to catch a dog, or

dog napper.

Where's the evidence you got? Yeah, we were just over at Beth Carlisle's, and

got the sniff all in their tickets, toys, and blankets and stuff.

Where do you hope to pick up the scent?

Well, our guy's a dog fancier. I figure he'll be at the show tomorrow.

I'm gonna go with Beth and the groomer from the Royal Pet Products.

Yeah, Marlowe's gonna go with me, undercover.

Marlowe's going undercover at the dog show?

Yeah, he's gonna pose as a dog.

Oh, Rick, I can't go through with this.

Come on, A .J. Marlowe is a trained sniffer. You remember I worked with him

myself for a whole week.

With hamburger.

Any dog can smell hamburger.

That's not true. Took him two or three tries, but he finally got the hang of

Rick, they only allow registered breeds in a dog show.

Sid, a lot of them are champions.

I mean, they only claim the fame Marlowe has. He chased a mailman up a telephone

pole. Kept him there for five hours, too. Yeah, but he won't get in that dog

show.

Trust me, it's all taken care of.

You sure we're in the right place?

Yep.

You wrote it down?

Ricky, how could you do that? That's evidence. You've been around long

Reno, where have you been? We have been waiting here for an hour and a half.

I put together some backup documents just to be safe.

All we needed was a pass to get Marlowe into the arena. We're dealing with the

AKC here. I have a reputation to protect.

Nowadays, any bimbo with a home copier thinks he's an expert. Okay, okay.

Name, Simon C.

Marlowe.

Breed, Anatolian Shepherd.

What's an Anatolian Shepherd look like?

Marlowe.

Hurdles champion, Atlanta, 1982.

Good boy.

Sire... Lord Buckley.

Boy, Marlowe must be the skeleton in Lord Buckley's closet.

Thank you. Please return to your dog.

Thank you very much. The next exercise will begin immediately. You're our best

bet, Tina.

You're the only one who's gotten a good look at our dog, Napper.

There you go, yeah.

Think of him as a dog.

Try to describe him.

His eyes had a definite Doberman quality.

Only they were blue.

That's a help.

Very fast gait, good reach and drive, like an afghan or a German shepherd.

Tina, how was he built?

Number 146. Very well sprung in the chest.

Number 146 to the ring. Okay, we're...

Looking for a cross between Rin Tin Tin and my brother.

Get over here. Sit down.

Sit.

Sit. Would you sit down?

What

an

unusual thing.

I don't think we've seen you before on the local dog circuit, have we? No,

probably not. We've been in big apple training for the main event at Madison

Square Garden.

I'll bet you were the toast of the town.

Number 147, the ring, please.

Number 147, the ring, please. Pay attention here.

This is just like the hamburger game, all right? Keep your nose on business.

Last call. Number 147. Call.

Well, I guess it's too late now, huh? Double now.

It's 147. You're up.

Okay.

Hello.

Every month, if you ever wanted a shot at the titles, pull them for you, pal.

Let's go. Come on.

Come on.

This is the healing off -leash exercise.

If you have any questions, as soon as you're ready, sir.

Okay.

Could I help you with that? Come on, Marlowe.

It is a dog, isn't it? I don't know.

Right turn.

Right turn.

Slow and halt.

Exercise.

Thank you very much. Next dog.

That's a way to show him. Let's go now.

This exercise is finished, sir. You can just move right along. Are you treating

now? You be quiet. Easy.

Come on, let's go.

Could you, um, move it along?

Sometimes he just likes to have his tummy scratched after a workout, you

so... Doggy biscuit, Marlowe.

Please clear the room.

Come. Will you please clear the room? Marlowe, give me a break here, would you

please? Come on. All right, come on. Good boy, good boy, good boy.

Marlowe, Marlowe.

I went the distance out there.

Got a lot of heart in the ring.

Yeah.

He's not winning any merit badges in the sniffing department, though, is he?

Well, maybe the guy didn't show up.

I'm just gonna have to wait and try and pick up some more leads when the ransom

instructions come in. Yeah.

I say we give it one more time around the arena.

Did you control your dog, mister?

I'm sorry. Marlowe!

Richard Simon.

That boy, it's that man.

Okay, we'll follow in the power wagon.

You take the Camaro and we'll call you if we can.

Put your feet up. Put your feet up.

One, two, six, seven, eight, three, three, one.

Can you read the dealership?

Yeah, there's more RVs.

I'll get

a

little ways ahead and pull over around the bend.

Don't even think about it.

Throw your guns right over here.

Now, come on. I know you love your dog.

You too.

Have the keys, please.

They're in it.

You boys want to get against the tree for me?

Come on, come on.

Thanks for the ride, Mom. All right.

Nixon, let me talk to town.

A haircut?

You don't wear a dog? Your hat?

Oh, jeez, my hat was in here, too.

You must have another hat somewhere.

No, we traded one to Bruno for Count Carlos carried the Olympic torch.

He hasn't changed a bit.

It was the same with Maxine.

Maxine? His goldfish.

She died when he was six years old.

I told him Maxine was swimming up a beautiful river to heaven.

So he went off looking for her, and we finally found him searching the swamp

behind the Krellman's house.

Hello, A .J. Simon.

I ought to kill both dogs right now.

Well, wait, look, Miss Carlisle has agreed to pay the $50 ,000.

No, no. Those are the old terms.

It's 75 now.

75? That's what your interference is going to cost.

We're not going to pay a dime until I hear his voice. I want to make sure he's

all right. Listen, from now on, it's your responsibility. Anything else goes

wrong, and your dog dies first.

Now, you tell Miss Carlisle to be at the phone booth at the golf driving range

in Balboa Park tomorrow, 5 p .m., alone, with the money.

Do not include...

A transmitter.

That is, if you ever want to see these dogs alive again.

Why don't you say goodbye to your doggie?

Marlowe?

Marlowe?

Can't ask Beth. Come up with another $25 ,000. Where am I going to get that kind

of money?

I'll get it.

I can help.

Look, I know I gripe about the hair on the furniture, the fleas, the

mud that he tracks in.

But I could say a lot worse about you. In fact, I usually do.

The point is, we've all logged a lot of miles together, and Marlowe's part of

the team.

He's part of the family.

the details right now. It's a serious crisis.

Yeah, that's what he said.

And he's on his way down right now.

No. Go away. Whatever it is, we don't have time for it right now. But town.

Don't but town me. Chief Markoff has a serious crisis. He'll be down any

Out. But town.

We agreed we weren't going to say that. Chief Markoff, serious crisis?

Did you get that message from Nixon by any chance?

Yeah, he said the chief... How'd you know that?

You?

You called?

It was you and not the chief?

I thought he knew my voice.

Nixon!

What's up, Lieutenant?

A little closer, please.

Yes, sir.

Page one of the training manual. Find out who called first.

Yes, sir.

Would you be so kind as to release the shift and take the SWAT team off alert?

Be my pleasure, sir. Wait a minute. I've still got a serious crisis here.

Somebody stole my dog.

I'm sorry about Marlowe.

Why are you wearing that?

Oh, along with a wagon that stole my hat.

Sounds like a personal vendetta against Rick Simon.

We got close to the Carlisle dog nappers.

They took Marlowe as a hostage.

Got the license plate. It's a blue Chevy van, bought at Miller RVs up in La

Jolla. Run through the computer for us?

Yeah.

You holding up okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

There's going to be a ransom exchange tomorrow afternoon at 5.

You know I'll be there to back you up.

Let's try it one more time.

Here, come on.

Come on.

All right. Sit.

Sit.

Not till we get the money.

Arthur Caden.

Are you sure you've got the right name?

That's what the police computer told us.

Well, I checked.

I can't find any sales receipt to anybody named Caden.

It's been misfiled or something.

Yeah.

Perhaps Motor Vehicles has an address for your guy.

Well, they do. An ocean side. My partner checked it out this morning.

Caden is not there anymore.

Receipt turns up. I'll let you know.

Who's that you're talking to?

Kirk Miller, the owner.

And he doesn't remember selling a blue van to this Arthur Caden.

Mister, you're tiptoeing around crimes like extortion.

Grand theft auto, grand theft dog. You withhold information, you could be

looking at an accessory charge.

Look, I'm just doing my job.

You could just be doing time.

Look, I've got a wife and kids.

If I could help you, I would.

Pretty smart little dog here.

For a half -breed.

Too bad. We were just coming to feed you.

Come on. Come on.

Why don't you get out of here, huh? This is concrete.

I bet your two detective friends told you to say that, huh?

Are they with you?

No, I'm alone.

Where's Carlisle?

I don't believe you're dealing in good faith here.

Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to save Nantucket's life.

You've got five minutes to be at the phone booth at 26th and Pershing.

That's at the other end of the park. I can't get there in five minutes.

Four minutes and 40 seconds.

It'll ring three times before I hang up and call it a day.

And come alone.

Five minutes to get to the phone booth at the corner of 26th and Pershing.

All he's trying to do is make surveillance difficult for us. It's a

-4. I just got a call from the station about Caden. He's got a record.

He pulls some soft time of the federal pen for fraud.

Miss Carlisle. Yes.

You have five minutes to get to the phone booth at the refreshment stand

the Museum of Man. Wait.

The refreshment stand behind the Museum of Man.

We're right behind you, Miss Carlisle.

Well, for a minute there, I didn't think you were going to make it.

Are you alone this time?

Yes. You're sure?

Damn it! Do you want the money or not?

Don't threaten me.

You've gone to too much trouble to call this off now.

How very spunky of you.

Do you understand?

Walk south for five minutes, pass the barrier to the gully, throw the bag in

gully. What about the dogs?

When I have the money, I'll tell you where you can find the dogs.

He said he won't release the dogs until he has the money.

Speed it to the overpass. We're trying to get in some kind of position.

Town, do you copy, Beth? 10 -4.

We better get a move on. We've only got a half hour of daylight left.

It'll be hard to kill him in the dark.

It's okay.

I'm approaching the paved road.

We're about three minutes from the barricade.

We're coming in from the south.

We do not have visual contact yet.

Hi, Town. We're at the barricade about a...

Minute. On the bat.

I just passed the barricade.

Forget it. We'll never find him in there. We gotta track him.

Track him? Track him.

It's gonna be dark in ten minutes.

I'll have to find him in seven. Come on.

We'll send scouts for you in the morning.

Even the great Indian scouts wouldn't try and track a dog by moonlight. A

oak could go where the trail leads you.

Yeah, well, your trail led us within 200 yards of an angry mama coyote. Well,

the tracks were pretty much the same in the dark.

Find him.

There's got to be something about Caden in here. I don't care what the manager

said.

of the ordinary.

Except, boy, he got a good deal.

Got an incredible deal.

Miller couldn't have made a dime on this.

He's legendary. How come I never heard of him? See what I mean?

No.

I mean, the guy can't be legendary and anonymous at the same time. Nobody has

ever caught him, A .J. That's how good he is.

Kurt Miller must be his son.

And you think Dorian Miller is the brains behind the dog napping?

No. Why not? Because he's in the joint.

You just said he'd never been caught. Nobody has ever... All right, the IRS

him on some tax technicality. That doesn't count. Ah, income tax. That

federal pen.

Usually. Just like Arthur Caden.

You don't suppose they ever share a cell.

Got another one of those nets?

This isn't even gonna hurt.

Our tax dollars at work. Some of them are public breakouts.

Break -ins, maybe.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Are you here to see one of your inmates?

One of our... He's playing in the annual Watergate celebrity golf tournament

this morning.

Sorry, my mistake.

He doesn't tee off until one.

So you'll probably be able to find him in the health club down the corridor.

Go right in.

Thank you.

Senator, we've been expecting you.

Do whatever happened to talking between class petition over a telephone?

Guard for Tomica.

Must need a space for a racquetball court. Thank you.

That's right.

Hi.

Rick Simon.

Hi. My brother, A .J. How do you do?

How are you?

We're private investigators.

I'd like to ask you a few questions about Arthur Caden.

Don't tell me you are in some trouble again.

Can I fix you boys a drink?

It's straight fruit juice.

Hope you don't mind.

There's no alcohol out around here.

That's just one of the hard facts of life in a big house. It's really not as

as it looks.

So tell me about Art.

Well, he kidnapped a couple of very valuable dogs using a few of your old

tricks. My tricks?

Hey, I'm just a simple country boy who got a little sloppy with his income tax.

Ah, yeah, and I'm the Bobber Seville.

Hey, you fellas don't think that I had anything to do with this.

Art and I were just doubles partners in the tennis court here.

Well, and after a tough match, came back here, had a few fruit juices, maybe

chatted about your adventures.

I've got a couple stories to tell.

Look, I'm sorry if I gave Art any ideas.

That doesn't make me responsible.

Well, your son sold him the van used in the job for no profit.

We owed each other a favor.

If you want the same deal, I'll take care of it.

What was the favor?

Kurt was having a lot of trouble with vandals.

Art has a friend who trains dogs.

I got him a van at cost.

Kurt got a free guard dog to watch the place at night.

Thinking about getting the family into camping.

Well, this baby's got everything you need.

Camping with all the comforts of home.

It isn't the same as when I was a kid, you know? I mean, there's so much crime

in the camp parks these days. I mean, it's getting to be just like the city.

Well, I understand the park ranger's on with me.

Could you tell me where you got them?

I'll do better than that. I'll sell them to you. Make it a package deal.

That sounds wonderful. That's, uh, this very dog.

I mean, this very, this particular, why? What's wrong with him?

Nothing. We just decided to invest in an electronic security system. We've been

having some break -ins lately.

I'm peppered here this morning. He's wearing one leg of an old pair of jeans

an old Marine fatigue cap, which he won't let out of his sight.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll bring the family in to meet him, okay?

No, I got a better idea.

I think I'd like to get two guard dogs.

One for each of the twins, you know? I mean, that's how kids are, and it's

birthday.

No problem.

I'll send you over to the dog trainer who sold us Pepper.

Now, you get his best price on the first dog.

And I'll cut it in half on this one, and you take the camper.

You're quite a salesman. You got a deal.

Great. Hang on. I'll get you his address.

Thank you.

Here's the wagon.

Might almost be in the kennel.

Bill.

You get new tenants, they can keep it.

Just in case something like this ever happened to us. Oh, wonderful, Rick. You

bought a transistor radio in case we ever get... This is not a transistor

It's an ultrasonic rodent ridder. It gets rid of mice in your house with

waves. I don't know how to break this to you, Rick.

Dogs are not rodents. I know that. Sammy and I tweaked the oscillator.

We were kind of hoping it would...

Put your hands on top of your head.

Grab it.

I mean, he got away. You didn't see him?

Look, you got the wrong guy. He shot your dog. Let me... You keep your mouth

shut till we get to the police station. Otherwise, you might not make it in one

piece.

No, Carla.

No sign of either dog yet.

Minutes.

He'd be anywhere by now.

Where am I going to find him?

Maybe somebody picked him up.

We could put an ad in the paper and put signs on street corners.

If somebody had picked him up, Mom, they'd have taken Marlowe to the vet or

up signs in one of the shelters.

You know what keeps going through my head?

It's dumb.

Well, he licks my face to wake me up in the morning.

Hello?

Yes, Liz.

Oh, well, backtrack to Linda Vista.

Yes, they just came in.

Here's A .J.

I heard what happened to your dog, and I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't mean what I said the other day. I mean, I did, actually, but

didn't want any harm to come to the dog.

Bye -bye.

Look, I thought if you'd let me, I could help you look for him.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Gorman. We could use all the help we can get.

Hi. I got a few more follow -up views for the party.

These friends of yours?

Well, I convinced the county stockade to give us a few of their best paper

figures.

They've agreed to be on their best behavior.

Didn't you guys?

Sure. Oh, yeah.

Don't you just love them? When do we get the beer?

Hey, Susie. Hello?

Bruno.

Nothing at North Park?

Well, then I guess you can join Carlos and me in the South Quadrant.

I know it's dark out there, but you'll just have to do the best you can.

We're running out of alternatives.

Bruno!

Never mind.

AJ, give me a first date dad to see you too.