All language subtitles for simon_simon_s02e20_the_secret_of_the_chrome_eagle

Simon and Simon Investigations will
guarantee the safe delivery of this

even if the hounds of hell are after us.

Tonight on Simon and Simon.

Sergeant, who is this woman?

A thief and a killer.

Boy, that's a great old car, isn't it?
First they want to steal her, then they

want to destroy her. Makes perfect
sense.

According to this map, he did almost 100
pounds of pure gold.

AJ, I'm in a terrific mood, just don't
spoil it, okay?

Brown, B.

Meisel.

Now, what do we got here?

Newspaper.

I wonder who it could be for.

Swayze.

He.

You don't budge an inch.

Do you?

Princess.

Sir?

Inmate Swayze requests permission to
approach.

Well, haul it on over, sweet babe.

I think it's about time that you and I
got to be friends.

You bet.

How's come it took all these many years
for you to give old Ernie a tumble? Huh,

sweet thing? How's come?

You know, I can arrange for special
delivery on that newspaper of yours.

Thank you.

It's more fun when you take your time.

Mom, it's not that we don't appreciate
your trying to drum up the business for

us. Sophie Chalfan is a dear friend of
mine, and she needs our help.

We already gave.

This isn't a charity case, Rick. She's
perfectly capable of paying your fee.

But, Mom, we are not in the automobile
delivery business.

We're private investigators, remember?

Now, don't get smart with me, young man.
I know this isn't the sort of thing you

do, but someone tried to steal that car
last night, and Sophie's worried it

might never get to San Francisco.

Would you at least talk to her?

Yes, ma 'am.

I never did see who tried to steal the
car. When the alarm went off, I ran

outside, but the thief had gone.

What kind of car is it?

It's a very old Cadillac that my late
husband had for years.

Howard, may he rest in peace, just loved
that car.

He always said to me, Sophie, never sell
that car.

Never.

And I wouldn't have, except that Howard
died of a heart attack two weeks ago.

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

It was so sudden and unexpected that he
didn't get a chance to put his estate in

order. He had made some investments
that... That's dunk. That's what they

Howard, may he rest in peace, was a very
considerate man.

But he left me practically penniless.

So I took an ad in the paper, and I got
a very nice phone call from a Mr.

Paxley in San Francisco.

He said that if I delivered the car up
there, he'd give me a check.

Now, Howard always said that the car
should never go more than 50 miles an

so I was going to hire one of those
driving services until somebody tried to

steal the car, and I realized how
dangerous it would be to deliver it.

you two would get that car safely to San
Francisco, I'd be happy to give you 10

% of anything Mr. Paxley gives me.

Mrs. Chauvin, that's very kind, and we
appreciate it. That's an old Cadillac. I

mean, how much could it be worth?

Oh, well, not very much generally, but
this one happens to be worth $95 ,000.

It's in my house right now, if you'd
like to see it.

I asked Myron to keep an eye on it.

Good thinking.

$95 ,000.

Good Lord.

It's a chrome eagle.

It's a what? It's a... Chrome Eagle.

I didn't think there were any of these
left.

You know that car.

Do I know this car?

What we have here is a 1935 Cadillac
Chrome Eagle Sports Phaeton V12 engine,

horses, one -shot lube system. And a
partridge in a pear tree.

There are only six of these cars ever
made.

I don't know who this guy Paxley is, but
he's giving you a fair price.

Now let's see, 10 % of $95 ,000. Rick!
Move it what?

In the presence of a work of art, we do
not discuss commerce that is tacky.

Mrs. Chauvin, I think I speak for my
brother when I say that Simon & Simon

Investigations will guarantee the safe
delivery of this vehicle even if the

hounds of hell are after us.

All right, if I take her out for a
little spin? I wouldn't mind at all.

No, no, no.

It's nothing like that.

It's just one of those last -minute
things.

I am driving up there with my brother
and spare me the cutesy remarks.

No, there's no girl.

Look... I'll call you when I get back,
okay?

Yeah. Bye.

Mr. Simon?

Uh... Yeah?

My name's Rick.

I'm Eleanor Swanson, Rick.

Hi. My friends call me Ellie.

Well, Ellie.

What can I do for you?

You can take me with you to San
Francisco.

I heard about the Chrome Eagle.

Oh, you're an old car buff, huh?

An old car rider.

I freelance for Autotrend, Road & Tire,
and I think I could sell either one of

them an article about the journey of the
Chrome Eagle.

Uh -huh.

If you'd let me come with you, I'd be
happy to pay all the expenses.

Well, I really would have to talk to my
brother about that, and right now he's

out getting the car gassed and oiled.

And the trip, I mean, we're going to
take our time, you know,

going up there. It could be two or three
days.

I'm sure we could work out some sort of
sleeping arrangement.

Probably. Well, of course, you said she
could come along. Of course I did.

I think if you refuse an approach like
that, you're supposed to meet us here.

What do you fear? You'll understand.

I'm thirsty, fellas.

Myron, you're supposed to be watching
the car.

Hey, lighten up, AJ. I got my camper
blocking and it's going nowhere.

And there's also some foxy -looking
blonde out there that says she's going

you.

Well, if that's what she says.

Excuse me, Myron.

You're taking golf clubs?

Certainly.

I know when you might want to do a
little shooting.

Broads?

Golf clubs?

Hey, Jay, is that the way I taught you
how to handle a case?

Mm -hmm.

Broads and golf clubs.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Mrs. Jalvin?

Yes.

Sergeant Dornigan, police officer.

You're from New Orleans?

Yes, I just transferred out here. They
haven't issued me a new badge yet. My

husband and I used to live in New
Orleans.

Oh, did you now?

Sergeant, haven't we met before?

Perhaps. In New Orleans about three
years ago, after that trouble where my

husband worked?

Yes, that's... It's possible.

I think you're the one who searched our
house.

With Howard's permission, of course.

He was never actually a suspect. At
least he told me he wasn't, but...

what do you want?

I told the police everything I know
about the break -in last night.

Could this be the person that tried to
steal your car?

I'm sorry, but I didn't see who it was.

Miss Johnson, is it possible for me to
see that old car of yours?

You'll have to hurry.

It's on Highway 23 right now, en route
to San Francisco.

Sergeant, who is this woman?

A thief and a killer.

AJ, does Baby drive as good as she
rides?

Well, aside from the fact that she seems
to be missing on one cylinder, she is

superlative.

Okay. Hit stop.

Ellie? That's okay, AJ. I'm fine.

Okay.

Go ahead, Rick. I'll watch the car.

It's all right.

I can wait.

Boy, this is a great old car, isn't it?

Yeah, great.

I'm sorry, Rick.

About what?

That you and I don't have more time
together.

That didn't take long, did it?

What? You ripped the seat.

I did not. You did.

Oh, come on. Look at that. What are you
talking about? Look.

Well, I didn't do that.

Yeah, well, it certainly wasn't ripped
when I left to go to the bathroom. It

to be ripped when you went to the
bathroom because I didn't do it. I know

well I didn't do it.

I heard it ripped when you moved over.
Maybe it just got caught on something.

Maybe I didn't.

I gotta go to the head.

Ignore him.

Huh?

Hey!

Boy, you don't fool around.

Define fool around.

Yeah, well, I mean... I know what you
mean.

When I see something I like, I go after
it.

Yeah, well, a moment ago, I saw you
going after my brother.

Yeah, well, it didn't work out with us.

But I would really like to go someplace
where you and I could be alone together.

Well, maybe some other time.

Whenever you say.

Oh, you write for Photo Trends magazine,
huh?

Every chance I get.

That's funny. You know, I read that
magazine all the time. I don't recall

seeing your name on any of the articles.

Oh, that's because I write under the
name of Warren Pike.

Car magazine readers aren't supposed to
like women writers.

Ah.

You get along okay with Pete Chambers?

Sure.

Well, you know, I've just heard he's a
tough editor.

He was, until he got to be publisher.

You ever show you his car?

Which one?

He's got quite a collection.

No, yeah, I know. But I mean the Pope
Toledo. That's my favorite anyway.

Oh, yeah. I love that one, too.

Yeah. Oh, God. Isn't that a beauty?

Wow. What is that? Is that a 1916 or a
1917?

Oh, I don't remember.

Probably a 17.

Lady, they made the last Pope Toledo.

In 1909.

They never made a 1916 or 1917, and
anybody who knows anything about

knows that.

Now, I don't know who you are or what
you want, and I haven't got time to find

out. I've got a very expensive car to
deliver.

But there is something definitely scary
about you.

Something that smells like trouble.

You can get out right now.

There's a little town half a mile down
the road, so it's not like we're

abandoning you in the middle of nowhere.

Out.

Rick?

Let's do a lunch.

Now what do we do for entertainment?

Sing

Come on now, Eleanor. Put that toad
sticker away.

Since when did you get to be a killer?

That's not your style.

You're not taking me back, Donegan.

Okay.

I'm not taking you back.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing out here? This isn't
your turf.

I've retired.

I come out here for the sunshine.

I knew the old geezer Chalfin was in on
it. I don't know what you're talking

about. You help me get the car, Eleanor,
and I'll split 60 -40 with you.

And maybe we can mix a little pleasure
with the business.

Done again.

You always were the crookedest cop on
the go.

Well, I try.

That was you trying to steal the car the
other night, wasn't it?

We split 50 -50.

Thank you. Thank you.

Any idea what kind of an alarm?

Yeah, it's an auto -worn Model 20.

Would be the cake.

Just keep the engine running.

Looks like Eagle's got another admirer.

Ugly one, too.

Yeah, I better go warn him before he
touches it. Wait a minute, wait a

Don't see what happens when he sets it
on.

It's a terrific alarm system.

Watch this, watch this.

That ugly son of a gun's gonna jump a
mile.

Everything looks okay. I don't think he
hurt anything.

Was that Ellie driving?

Yeah, I think so.

Who was the guy?

I don't know.

Somebody wants the chrome eagle off the
bat.

Even badder than you think.

Say, look at this. You remember this?
Yes, I remember that. That's the rip you

made. The rip you accused me of making.
Yeah, well, all I know is... Just knock

it off for a minute, will ya?

Not a rip at all.

This thing goes all the way through to
the back seat.

What?

Look.

Like somebody sitting in the back seat
made it.

Maybe somebody with something like a
knife.

What are you trying to tell me?

Do I have to spell this out for you?

You mean... Yeah, I mean...

Go ahead and pass her.

She's got plenty of power. Just keep it
under 50.

Okay.

I see what you mean about missing on one
cylinder. It's a good thing she's got

11 more. Yep.

Thought they'd never leave.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Doesn't it seem to you like they're
trying to destroy the Chrome Eagle?

Oh, destroy might be too mild a word.
Try annihilate.

Doesn't make any sense.

First they want to steal her, then they
want to destroy her. Makes perfect

sense. Not to me, it doesn't. They don't
want the car. They want something

that's in the car, something hidden.

Oh, come on. Gold,

cash, diamonds.

Whatever it is, you can bet that it is
spectacularly valuable.

And it's all ours.

Rick. And Sophie's.

Satisfied? We've been searching for two
hours and we haven't found a thing. What

do you mean searching? We haven't even
started searching this thing yet. What

are you talking about? I'm talking about
113 miles at 22 cents a mile plus 50

bucks. Myron, you can talk about that
later. Will somebody tell me what all

is about?

Yeah.

Be glad to.

And that's why we think there's
something valuable hidden in the car.

Well, what do you want of me?

Sophie, when you lived in New Orleans,
what did your husband do?

What are we playing here? This is your
life? Howard was a bookkeeper for a

company called Oriental Traders.

They were very big importers.

They did a great deal of importing rare
books, antique furniture, jade,

emeralds, gold, diamonds.

While he was there, was there ever an
unsolved theft?

Yes. Yes, there was. A big robbery.

But it was kept very secret. Howard
didn't even tell me what was taken. But

know somebody was sent to jail for it.

All right, now, look, don't get me wrong
about this, but is there any way that

maybe Howard was, you know... That
Howard was involved?

Uh -huh. To my knowledge, he was never a
suspect.

But that man was such a rascal. It
wouldn't surprise me if he was involved.

Wait a minute.

And you figure that whatever was stolen,
he hid in the old car?

Yeah.

Maybe. Well, that settles it. We're
going to have to tear it apart.

Tear this car apart?

Hey, look, if we're going to find what's
in there, we're going to have to go all

the way with this thing with a cutting
torch if necessary. A cutting torch on a

chrome eagle? Are you out of your mind?
What's the problem? It's just an old

car. Just... Myron, this is not just
some

bucket of bolts that falls off the
assembly line by the gross. No way.

This... is a 1935 Cadillac Chrome Eagle
Phaeton.

This is a precision system lovingly
assembled by old

world craftsmen. And if we take it
apart, no

one, no one will ever be able to put it
back together again.

Billy Bob Bayshore.

What? Billy Bob Bayshore, an old Marine
buddy of mine, had the motor pool in

tonight. You met him. He's got a little
chop shop down in National City.

No matter what we do to this baby, Billy
Bob will get her back together again.

I don't believe a word of that, and
neither do you. All right, then, fine.

just leave it up to Sophie. It's her
car, after all. Sophie, do you want to

for the gold or no? All right, now, Mrs.

Chalfant, forgetting entirely that the
Chrome Eagle is an artistic creation.

The car, as she stands, is worth almost
$100 ,000.

thousand dollars to you now do you want
to risk your entire life saving not to

mention destroying a work of art on some
harebrained off the wall treasure hunt

where you will probably find nothing

Doesn't seem to be.

Anything here?

What have we done?

What am I going to tell Mr.

Paxley? This is Sophie.

We'll look around. Maybe we can find
another old car we could sell him. Rick,

are you sure your friend can put this
car together again?

Positive.

Why don't you take the engine apart?

What? What?

Well, go ahead. It's the only thing
left. Take the engine apart.

Besides, I've never seen the insides of
a V12.

Why didn't I see that?

Why didn't you see what?

It's in the engine.

Rick, there is nothing in the engine but
the engine. Get there, AJ. There's too

many moving parts. I don't care for
moving parts. There's too much heat and

would be destroyed. AJ, you said it. I
said it, but it wasn't quite right. This

engine is not missing on a cylinder.
It's missing a cylinder completely.

There's a piston gone. That's got to be
it.

You!

All right, get out of the way. Come on,
get out of the way. You've got to be

able to take this off, don't you?

Okay.

Here we go.

Hold that.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

It's got to be diamonds, right?

Emeralds, at the very least. Well, maybe
pearls, huh?

I hope it's not some controlled
substance.

Here, here, here, here. Give me that.

We got it now.

Okay, okay.

We got it now. Hold your hands out.
Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait

minute. Hold your hands out. Okay.

We don't got it.

What is that?

Give me that.

Some kind of a map.

And he had it right at the beginning.

Certain in Chinese.

Sophie, you got any idea what this is?

No. Where are we going to get that thing
translated?

U of L. U of what?

University of Lompoc. There is no
University of Lompoc. Oh, yes, there is.

what's more, it's very close.

Our friends are back.

Is there a back door to this place?

Yeah, right back there.

Do you have a car we could rent or
something?

No, but I'll drive you wherever you want
to go.

Terrific. Come on, let's go.

They've been in there over four hours.

You've got to learn patience.

I ran out of patience in prison.

They found it.

I know they found it.

I told you we shouldn't have waited.

Take it easy, Eleanor.

Incredible. What?

Absolutely incredible.

And what is it?

It's a 17th century treasure map.

I'm almost positive this map was drawn
by Hobson Lee.

Hobson Lee?

Not many people know about him.

He was thought of a Chinese Marco Polo.
He explored the Pacific about 300 years

ago.

According to this map, in a natural cave
somewhere along the California

coastline, he hid almost 100 pounds of
pure gold.

Be still, my heart.

100 pounds? What, was it ever found?

Not to my knowledge.

100 pounds of gold, that's 14... No, A
.J., that's a million dollars worth of

gold.

Can you tell from that map exactly where
it is?

Yes, I think I can.

She thinks she can.

There we are, right there.

The cave is only about 45 miles from
here. 45 miles.

Yeah, Rick, that is in an area labeled
Mid -California Water District to no

trespassing. There's no sweat. We'll
figure out a way in there. This is the

wackiest story I've ever heard in my
life.

Miss Chen, couldn't the coordinates have
changed in 300 years?

This is Hobson Lee we're dealing with,
and his coordinates wouldn't change in

300 million years.

So there.

Have a good trip now.

Thank you.

You guys are crazy. You know that, don't
you?

Hey,

look. Looks like our friends are gone.

Yeah, what makes me think they'll be
back?

Thank you.

Well, let's go.

Your buddy Billy Bob Bayshore is rushing
up, I presume.

Do you know any good motels here?

Oh, yeah, sure. Over to the... Hold it!

Rick?

I want you to tell me why Billy Bob is
not coming up.

Well, see, he... Rick!

Don't pick at it. Just yank the bandage
off. Okay, okay.

Billy Bob was busted with a shop full of
hot Porsches, and he's doing 15 to 20

in Quentin.

You wanted it brutal.

The one person who could reassemble the
Chrome Eagle is completely out of reach.

Wait a minute.

Got an idea.

See, what we do is we just take all of
this stuff, we crate it up, and we ship

it right in there to Billy Bob.

They got this great occupational therapy
program at Quentin's, and he can start

to... Cab's here. Cab's here.

Thank you very much. This should cover
everything, I think.

We'll be back for her.

Now, I just want you to know that I am
violently opposed to this whole cockeyed

treasure hunt.

You're going to fool me.

Mr. Burns, I just hate to see those pink
Okami agitators, you know, telling the

mid -California water district how to
run its business. You guys have been

a terrific job all these years.

Well, thank you, sir.

So let's just not give them any more
ammo for their slander. You know what I

mean? Let's just make sure that there's
no water coming out of that Tioga

outfall for at least the next two days.

Well, we hadn't planned on it, sir.

But I'll make total sure it doesn't
happen.

All right. Terrific, Mr. Burns. That's
wonderful. I'll be sure to mention your

name.

Who was that on the phone, Burns?

A TV reporter, sir.

He's going to be covering some
demonstration by those pure water

Demonstration?

I don't know about any demonstration.

It's supposed to be this morning, sir.

At the Tioga outfall.

The Tioga outfall, huh?

Yes, sir.

How long have you been working for us,
Burns?

Eight months, sir. That figures.

Get on the phone, call the police. Have
them send an off -road unit to the Tioga

outfall. The police.

Just do it, Burns, please.

Yes, sir.

Hello, Ben.

Ben, this is Al Colley over at Central.

All your valves working today?

looking place I've ever seen.

That's got to be the cave right up
there, right where those bushes are.

100 pounds. Now that's 1 ,400.

Troy, I'm supposed to go.

Don't get your hopes up. Hey, it's got
to still be here. Otherwise, why would

those people be after it? Hey, hey, are
you sure they're not planning to pump

any water? I'm sure, I'm sure. Well, I
mean, just because they said that, AJ,

I'm in a terrific mood. Just don't spoil
it, okay?

There it is.

The cave entrance.

The gold's got to be inside, just like
Hopson Lee said.

Rick, that was 300 years ago. Josh, shut
up and let me enjoy this moment.

AJ, get in here.

It's here.

I can feel it.

I can smell it. A hundred pounds of
gold. You got any idea how many grams

is? Oh!

Don't ever let me talk me into this.

All right, pick a spot. Any spot.

You get to choose where we start digging
first, okay?

Rick, can we just please get the
several... All right, right here. We'll

digging here.

Hang on to that.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What?

What's that sound?

That's just the echo from the digging.

No, no.

Something else.

Earthquake?

No, no, no. It's not an earthquake. It's
more like a raging time.

Sure there was gold there.

It was discovered about 50 years ago by
the Army Corps of Engineers when they

laid out the water district.

The Army found a million dollars in
gold?

Nah. It was less than 30 ,000. You know,
in 1933, gold was only worth about

what? $20 an ounce.

Oh. It never fails.

At least once a year, somebody gets a
copy of that old Chinese map and catches

gold fever.

And you get to drench them, huh?

Yeah.

But nobody ever gets hurt.

I want to bet.

Mr. Burns?

Yes, ma 'am.

I'm the attorney for Rick and A .J.
Simon, and you're holding some evidence

need to study. It's a map, a rather old
map.

You mean this?

Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, ma 'am, but
I'm inventorying this evidence for the

police, and I can't release anything
without proper authorization.

Of course. I brought some authorization
with me.

Will this do?

Yeah. That's the guy who tried to rip
off our car.

And run us off the road.

Supposed to be suspects?

Nope, the garage owner cleared you. The
only thing you can be held for is

trespassing on government property. Oh,
come on. Pauly, some woman just held me

up at gunpoint. She said she was their
attorney.

What? Was she beautiful?

Blonde? Yeah.

You know her?

Yeah, we know her. She took that old map
of yours. Oh, good.

Joke's on her when she gets here and
finds out there ain't no goal, right, A

.J.?

Right, A .J.? Oh, no.

I get real nervous when he acts like
this. A .J., what's wrong?

It wasn't the car they were after.

It wasn't the car they were after. It
wasn't the gold they were after.

It wasn't the gold they were after. All
along, all they ever wanted was the map.

Are you kidding me?

Authentic 17th century calligraphy.
Handwritten by Hopps. Sun Li. The

Marco Pal. That thing must be worth a
fortune. All the time we had it right

there in our hands. Now it's gone. And
we don't have a clue as to where it

That's wrong.

We have a clue. What clue? We have a
name.

Can we get out of here?

I see.

Thank you.

Yes. Thank you very much.

Mr. Paxley is not a classic car dealer.

No. Mr. Paxley is not even a classic car
collector.

Uh -huh.

Would you believe Mr. Paxley is a
philographer?

Shame on him.

No, a philographer happens to be a
person who sells rare handwritten

parchments, scrolls, maps.

Isn't that interesting?

Uh -huh.

And Mr. Paxley is presently out of town,
but he is due back early this evening.

Mm -hmm.

Well, he's got a good head start on it.

Probably going to get to him first.

Oh, not necessarily.

Hi.

My name is AJ Simon. I'd like to charter
a plane to San Francisco, please. Oh,

what?

You were going to cut me out of the deal
completely, weren't you? Of course not.

You'd have gotten your share.

I swear you would. We agreed to wait
until I got out. I took the fall for

caper, remember?

Eleanor, please, try to understand.

When I heard that Chalfant had died and
his wife was going to sell the car, I

had to move fast.

I mean, you were still in prison.

What else could I do?

Give me the money and let me get out of
here.

The money!

You don't have to count it.

Sure I don't.

Who is it?

I didn't order a pizza.

Put it down! Put it down!

Drop it!

Step away from it.

Eleanor, how nice to see you again.

Mr. Pax, I presume?

I should have killed you both when I had
the chance.

Does this mean our lunch is off?

Well, the map belongs to this museum in
Boston and there's a $50 ,000 reward for

the return of it. So you ought to be
getting a check in a couple of weeks.

Well, 10 % of it belongs to you and your
brother, dear.

Not this time, Sophie. We want you to
keep all of it. If I hadn't gotten cute

with a chrome eagle, you'd have a lot
more money.

Well, your friend Billy Bob can put the
car together again, can't he?

But... It might take a little while.

Well, when he does, and when I get
another buyer, you and your brother will

in for 20%. Well, thank you, Your Honor.

Bye -bye.

Sure ain't bare to go look at all those
pieces.

I tell you what, you go grab yourself a
brew and I'll load the truck. No, no,

I'll do it with you. It's just... I feel
like we desecrated a shrine.

Howdy.

Oh.

Went together easier than I thought.

They sure don't make them like they used
to.