Original subtitles

Order those immediately.

Aye, aye, sir.

Telegram, sir.

Please wire my acceptance, Lieutenant.

But, Admiral, Count Garrow was suspected of being a spy.

Exactly.

That's why I'm going there.

Perhaps I can trip him up.

I see, sir. Here, take my uniforms down and have them pressed.

And tell those dumb tailors not to burn holes in them this time.

Aye, aye, sir.

You know, I'm getting sick and tired of this business.

It was your bright idea.

Join the Navy and see the world. No more smelly sweatshops. Beautiful girls in

every port. Woo -woo, I got a good mind to punch her right in the nose.

Yeah, we'd still been all right if you hadn't blabbed off about us being

tailors. Well, don't tailors sound like sailor? I got a good mind to bust this

iron over your head.

Hey, remember you had to pay for the last iron. Look!

Look what you made me do to the captain's pants.

Fix that hole.

You

know,

gasoline don't taste so good since prohibition.

What do you mean?

Because they ain't so careful like when they use it for making gin.

But it ain't bad. Here, taste it.

Go on, scram and get to work.

Hey, fellas, it's 12 o 'clock. Come on, we got the afternoon off. Stay away from

town, girls.

I'm going to get 18 gloves and 12 redheads. I'm going rolling in the park.

Hey, clean and press for the admiral in a hurry.

Clean and press for the admiral in a hurry.

Clean and press in a hurry. Clean and press in a...

Boy, when they see the Danes go for me.

You should see that bearded lady in the circus.

Is she a beaut when she gets a shave?

When I get through rowing a boat, boy, I'm going to spend a hot weekend on a

roller coaster.

Now I'm going to change my socks.

What an experience.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I always want to see how you look with a point and a wave.

Why aren't you men at work? Well, you see, Admiral, he and I were just

standing... Oh, look, there's an admiral.

Get him!

Hey, you.

Salute your superior officer.

How dare you strike an officer?

Certainly. How dare you?

What do you mean, officer?

Man?

You know, I was thinking...

How dare you wear my uniform?

I was taken out for an errand.

You were.

I'll press them right away.

Is there anything wrong, sir? Yeah, there's a guy... Everything's all right.

wish to talk to those men alone.

Aye, aye, sir.

You know, for five bucks a piece, I'll get you birds out.

I'll bust your skull in five pieces. Get us out, you bubble brain.

Say, guard!

Put these men on rations of bread and water. I'll get you for this. On second

thought, plain water.

Salt water.

Hey, you. Oh, Admiral.

Yes?

All right, you win.

You know, I was thinking, there's no sense in getting you guys out of here.

need a pass for the other game.

You chucklehead. Yours ain't the only officer's uniform in the tailor shop.

You're right.

Gone? Release these men.

Watch how these men are in here for kicking an officer. Oh, kicking an

eh? Yes, sir. So you're kicking an officer, eh? You're kicking an officer,

Attention!

Right face!

Forward march!

My dear Count Gerald, your admiral is late.

Admiral Taylor and his staff.

Let him know.

That's not Admiral Taylor.

Be careful, it may be a trap.

Don't worry, I'll get the information if it's womanly possible.

Admiral Taylor, I believe.

How did you know I was a Taylor? Why, everyone knows the Taylors of Kentucky,

one of the oldest families in America.

Sure, everybody knows old Taylor, under proof.

Would you introduce your friends?

Why, certainly, this is... Commander Button, Captain Presser. That's them.

Miss Auger, may I present Admiral Taylor, Commander Button, and Captain

Say, when do we eat?

Oh!

It's a nice hunk of goods there, buddy.

Oh, Admiral.

Wouldn't you like to come and sit down?

Would I?

Let's go over and find a dark corner.

No, no, no, no, no. It's the kid.

The Admiral threads a fast needle. He's an old so -and -so.

Oh, girls, did you see my tattoo?

There.

Do you care for a cigar?

Oh, allow me.

Certainly, certainly.

Won't you tell me about the Navy?

Sure.

You see, they feed you beans every day, except on Sunday. That's when you get

bean soup.

And beans.

Oh, Admiral, you're such a sturdy old man.

And I'm your clinging vine.

Won't you tell me about your submarines? I don't know anything about submarines.

I'm a tailor.

I mean... Oh, Admiral, don't you trust me?

Sure, but I don't trust myself.

You foolish boy.

Please,

sir. Come on, Toots. Don't mind him.

Do you smell rubbish, Bernie?

Smells like somebody's frying onions.

Get up.

Am I as heavy as all that?

No, but I'm pointing up. Get up.

What,

is that nice?

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.

Oh, please, give me another chance.

Will you please? I didn't... Listen, honey, I did not... I did not...

I think I've got spring fever. Spring fever or hay fever. You've got to get

off before anybody sees you. Get out there and I'll help.

Oh!

Why,

you ought to... Show me!

I tell you, I am Admiral Taylor.

I beg your pardon. There must be some mistake.

The Admiral has been here for quite some time.

I thought this guy was a phony when I caught him snooping around outside the

window. Now, just a minute, gentlemen.

Those three imposters can identify me.

They're enlisted men.

Tell these men who I am.

How should we know?

We never saw you before in our lives. What? Just as I thought. Come on, Bozo,

let's go. No, officer, please.

We'll be shot at sunrise for this. Maybe the sun won't come out tomorrow. It

might rain.

We've got to find a place to hide.

This plays right into our hands.

How about that submarine, Admiral?

Oh, it's big enough.

Submarine? Well, certainly.

That's perfect.

That is, I mean, what are we waiting for?

Calling all

patrol boats.

Calling all patrol boats.

Submarine M9 has left port unauthorized.

Last seen headed out to sea.

Stop her.

That is all.

Hmm, see?

I told you I couldn't get away with it. My government needs this submarine, and

I'll either get it to them or stick in the attempt.

But what about us?

One move out of you and I'll kill you. If you do, I'll never talk to you again.

You can't get away with it. No, I can't get away with it.

No, I must leave.

We're sunk. We're lost.

Hey, what's the

matter with you?

I'm practicing for when we run out of air.

What, you think you're in the movies?

We're trapped like rats.

Speak for yourself.

Oh, a microscope.

Fish just went by.

Hey,

bloodhound. Get to your post.

What post? I don't see no post. I'll leave a street lamp.

I'll put both your lamps out.

Calling all battleships.

Calling all Navy planes. Calling all bombers.

Calling all naval craft.

Submarine M9 stolen by enemy spies.

Sink her at all cost. That is all.

That is all?

Ain't that enough?

We better get this thing back before they find us. Right. And the wheels.

What wheels?

And the wheels.

Sir, submarine M9 was sighted just off the breakwater.

Order batteries one and six to open fire at once. Yes, sir.

She's firing in order of my gig.

I'm going aboard that sub. Yes, sir.

Look what they did to the flat.

Look, they were shooting at me.

What'd you catch, kid? A pelican.

That's an aerial bomb, you sack.

Wait a minute. This can't hurt any of us. It's a dud.

Oh.

A dud, eh?

Wait a minute. What are you trying to do?

I'll fix it so it don't hurt anybody. I'll beat its brains out.

Halt!

You'll be court -martialed for this.

Arrest these traitors.

Oh, now, wait a minute, sir. We're no traitors. We captured those spies.

We did it for you, sir.

Oh, remarkable.

You'll be rewarded for this. How did you do it? It was a sin, General. I took a

piece of pipe and clowned him like this.