Original subtitles

Oh, where is Mirabelle, Mirabelle? Do you hear? Where is she? How do I know?

not her husband. I'm only her director. Well, she knows we're waiting for her.

Where is Mirabelle, Mirabelle?

Here I am, B .L. Why all the huff?

Oh, my darling. You know we leave within a week for Africa to make jilted in the

jungles. Why, you've got to get ready, my dear.

Well, while I go clear to Africa, the studio alone looks like a jungle. Yeah.

can't leave until you get me a leading man. Leading man? But in this picture,

darling, you work opposite a gorilla.

Haven't we got anyone under contract that looks like an ape? No, not even

relatives. You look... Oh, pretty fresh, huh?

But we'll find one.

Get that script. I want to go over it. Come on, we'll sit over here. We've got

lot of work to do.

Hiya, Mr. Boswell. Can we clean up now?

We'll be as quiet as a mouse. Yeah, a deaf and dumb mouse.

Okay,

but don't disturb us.

Now, Mr. Boswell... Quiet!

Come on.

I'll knock your brains out.

Hold

it.

What'd you duck for? See what you made me do?

It'll cost us a month's salary.

Oh, no, it won't. Oh, it won't.

You're fired.

Wait a minute.

Please give us another chance. We're not really janitors. We're actors.

Why, Mr. Herbert, we're the greatest animal impersonators in the world. We're

terrific. We're colossal. We're even mediocre.

Here's an impersonation of a chicken with its head cut off.

Let me kill him. Just once. It won't cost much. Oh, ungratefully.

Do you see the same thing I do? The fat one.

Fate must have sent him.

He's the dead image of the missing link.

Oh, thank you.

I think you're right. And look at the other two.

Neanderthal men straight from the Stone Age.

We've found our leading man. Now we can start our picture at once.

You men are hired.

To our success in Africa.

To Africa.

Darkest Africa.

Good. Cordial.

Yeah.

Well,

I wonder where that safari is. We ought to be up in the...

Maybe they're so far away we'll never catch them.

There's our equipment.

Come on.

Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.

I told B .O. not to pay those porters in advance.

Now they've deserted us.

You mean they... Yes, they... I knew it all the time. It'll be dark pretty soon.

We're going to pitch camp right here.

You fellas see if you can find some water. Come on, darling. I'll make you

comfortable. We've got to find some water.

Why, there's water everywhere.

There's water here.

Where? Up there.

I didn't think there was that much water. Oh, no, you didn't think.

Water everywhere, huh?

I didn't mean that, kid.

Are you going to start that again?

Got ducks for the bueno.

Buona, welcome. Buona, welcome.

Come eat, buona.

Got nice supper.

What are we waiting for? Let's go.

Come on.

Oh, boy, am I hungry. What do we got for supper? Nice fat missionary.

Yes.

Make nice big stew. And I do mean stew.

I'd rather have some pelican, and I do mean pelican.

Here's some wild muskrat for you.

Hey, what's this?

Him? Love candy.

Make big, strong love.

Love candy?

Oh, boy.

Mirabelle, maybe you'll make her love me.

Big thanks, customer.

He give you love candy, you give me nice big bone.

Make good soup!

Where are you going?

I'm going to give Mirabelle some love candy.

Get back there and get to work. Oh, stop it now. Stop it.

Oh!

not for revenge, are you? No, I wouldn't hit you. I've never hit anybody in my

life. Well, just watch your P's and Q's.

Where are they?

Oh.

Yeah.

Sorry, Mo. I couldn't help it.

It's in each of them.

I'm sorry, pal. You must have moved.

Yeah, that's all right, kid. Forget about it. Thank you.

Take this hammer and drive those stakes. You help him.

I'll show you how to drive them. Get this off my face and I'll come back and

murder you.

I don't know how to do nothing.

Get that rope on.

Tell him first.

Quit snoring, will you? I ain't snoring. It's him.

What's the matter?

Wake up and go to sleep.

What'd you wake me up for?

You snore like a roaring lion.

I do not. I stayed awake all last night to see if I snored, and I didn't.

That's different.

I wish I was playing the gorilla part.

Are you lucky you get to make love to Mirabelle?

Well, I'm the Robert Taylor type.

Go on.

Don't you growl at me.

How are you guys?

Hey, come on, hurry up. He's waiting for us.

Here we are.

Did we kiss her in this scene? Now, wait a minute. Not so much of a hurry. Let

me look at you.

Where? Where did I get my Mirabelle?

Where's my love candy?

of that suit.

Now you're in character, bubble brain.

In character? Why, he looks positively real.

Now pay attention or I'll whack you over the head with this club.

Now you pay attention too. As the scene opens, you're kneeling at her feet. Yes.

That's where Curly comes in. You grab your clubs and you fight him. Yes.

He knocks you down.

Yes. You understand?

No.

Well, try it anyway.

Hey, Curly, you understand?

He understands.

Well, that'll help some.

All ready?

Action. Oh, fair princess, in this gorgeous jungle setting, I throw my

your feet.

I love you.

That foul beast.

No harm shall come to you, my love.

That's marvelous.

Keep it up, my boys.

You bonehead, you don't have to overdo it. After all, we're only acting.

I like that.

he comes out, we'll shoot him.

Hey, my gun's jammed. So is mine.

I'm going to get this skin off. It got me in plenty of trouble.

Fine guns.

I've got to get it in that cage.

Yep.

Hey,

quit breathing on me, will you?

That's fine grammar for you. I'm not me.

I know.

Here I am.

Maybe it'll go away. Okay.

Take this head off before something else happens.

You know, if you hadn't let me in, I... Oh, let me in! Oh,

please, go away, go away!

Please, here.

Some love candy.

See? You know.

a little kiss, baby.