Original subtitles

There, you see, Professor Hicks, the school is in desperate need of athletic

equipment. The girls need sports, they want sports, and besides, it's good for

them. I know what's good for the girls. Oh, Mother.

Yes, in my day, we kept our noses in books and didn't run around dressed

fan dancers.

It's useless to argue, Benson.

Mrs. Catesby's generous donation will be used for the salaries of the three

European professors who arrived today to join our festival. Oh, that reminds me.

We'd better start preparing for their arrival.

That's mother for you.

I'm going across the street, men, for a sandwich. Now listen, when the customers

come in, give them service.

Now this is your first day on the job, so show me that you've got what it

Don't be afraid to push those sponges around.

Use a little elbow grease.

Suppose it's knee action.

What's the idea?

Mistaken identity.

Hiya, pal.

Okay, boss, you can trust us.

Carry on.

I heard what the boss said. He's a pretty nice guy.

Now we'll grease their elbows and they'll grease their palms.

Carry on. Carry on.

What'll it be, stranger?

Put in ten gallons of gas. I'm going to cross the street for a sandwich.

Okay, boys, super service.

Carry on. Right, right, right, right.

Well, I guess we might as well have lunch here, gentlemen.

Right? Right.

Swing it!

Elbow grease, eh?

Thank you.

Hey!

Throw me that poly! Right.

That's what you call... What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Poly!

What's all the rubbish here? Take it easy, Field Marshal.

Sit down. You don't know what you're doing. Go around there and help him.

finish this. Right.

Hey, we've got to clean the spark plugs. Get the tools.

Okay, finish this. Right.

Don't you men know you're not supposed to open a body unless you sterilize your

hands?

Hey,

can you guys give me a little help? I need some repairs.

We're pretty busy, pal, but we'll be glad to let you use the tools.

Save us from working on the job.

All right, men. A little super service. You check the battery, you check the

tires. What are you going to check? I'm going to check you guys.

Right. Right.

Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right.

What are you doing? Take it easy now.

What kind of a place is this?

Let go of my leg. Hey, what are you trying to do? I'm going to press his

Well, leave him alone and check the tires like I told you.

Right.

Don't do anything.

Only one ahead of you. You're next.

Larry? Here.

Hey,

what's the matter with you? I just got this summer cleaned up.

Shut it off!

Larry, shut it off!

Stop it! Stop it!

Are you hurt? Are you all right?

Get up out of there.

You see what you did, Hat? Now I've got to clean those guys up again.

Don't stand around idle. You put in the water, you put in the gas. Get moving.

Right, right, right.

Sorry, gents, but this can happen in the best of places. Have you all cleaned up

the gym? Yeah, of course.

Take it easy now, boys.

It's all right.

It's all right now.

Now, hold still now. In just a minute, I'll have a towel right away.

Just take it easy, fellas.

Hey, did you put the water in?

You never do anything right.

What happened? It's murder. It's awesome. Let's get out of here.

Hey, Carly, come on.

We're out of gas.

Out of gas?

What do you think this thing is, a camel? We've been going for over three

Let's get out of here.

Hey, wait a minute. Didn't we forget something?

I can't think of anything.

How about Curly?

Curly?

He's in the car.

Curly.

Hey, Curly.

Open the door.

Hey, Curly.

He's frozen.

Get him out of there.

a frozen baby, eh? He's as stiff as a plank. What are you going to do with

We'll build a fire under him and thaw him out. Come on, get him into the

Get your arm under here.

Okay. Up he goes.

He's done on this side. Turn him over.

Twenty minutes to a pound.

We'll be here a month.

All right, he's done.

Easy now, kid.

Easy.

Easy, kid. I'll get you.

Easy, kid. Easy.

Are you all right?

Easy, kid. Come here. Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.

Look at the mess you've got to center.

Wait a minute. What about those suitcases I put in that ice cream truck?

might be some dry clothes in them.

That's a good idea. Let's go and look.

I ought to beat your brains, and I think I will.

They've stopped.

Look, they must be our three professors.

Yes, yes, indeed.

Welcome to Mildew.

I guess she means us. Let's go.

Oh, Professor Von Stupor. Stupid, I guess you mean him.

We have a grand day planned.

First a visit to the classroom, then a reception and a buffet luncheon. I never

ate a buffet, but I bet you got something there. Look out, let me get in

will you?

Oh, you'll just love it.

Mildew has a lovely student body.

Yours wouldn't be so bad either if you took off about 20 pounds.

Come on, sister, let's go.

Thank you, dear.

Henceforth, Mildew College will take its place among the world's greatest

institutions of learning.

No other school can boast of having such distinguished educators as Professors

Feinstein, Frankfurter, and von Stupor.

And now, I'm going to call on Professor Feinstein to tell you something of his

famous theory.

Any questions?

are calculated by the direct ratio of interplanetary magnetism to solar

radiation...

What

do you think?

I think we're going to have trouble with this, Dame.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to... Sit down. I'm going to test your

Sit down. I'm going to test your mental coordination with a little... Sit down!

With a little number called... Swing it, brother.

Swing it. Right.

Right up.

I'll explain it so even you can understand. My colleagues will assist.

Ready, sister?

Get that junk out of here. Come on, boys. Scram.

I'll give you the idea in a nutshell.

B -A -B -E -B -I -B -I -B -O -B -O.

I'll give you the correct demonstration.

Cutie pie, pound those horse teeth.

B -A -B -E -B -I -B -I -B -I -B -O -B -I -B -O -B -U -B

-I -B -O -B.

C -A -J -C -E -C -C -I -C -E -C -I -C -O -O -C -U -C -I -C -O -C -U -C

-I -C -O -C -U.

Get the idea, girls? Now we'll all join together on the letter D.

D -A -J -D -E -D -D -I -D -I -D -O -D -I -D -O -D -U

-D -I -D -O -D.

F -A -F -A -F -B -B -F -I -F -I -F -O -F.

J -A -J -G -E -G J -I -J -K -I -J -O J

-I

-J

-K -I -J -O

K -A -K, K -E -T, K -I -K -I -K -I, K -O -K, K -I -K -I -K -O, K -U -K, K

-I -K -I -K -O -K -O.

L -A -L -A, L -E -L -E, L -I -L -E -L -O -L -O, L -E -L -I -L -O, L -U -L -O. L

-A -L -A,

M -E -E, M -I -M -I, M -O -M -I -M -I -M -O, M -U -M

-I -M -I -M -O.

You said to announce luncheon as soon as it's ready. I shall do so at once,

miss.

Luncheon is served.

Oh, Super Saiyan! All right, easy now, fellas. Take it, Tony. There's enough

every... Don't you know it's bad etiquette to reach in front of a person

said person is trying to snag a morsel of food?

I'll get you.

I can't do a thing with him. You try something.

Oh, a wise guy, eh?

From now on, you're on your own.

That's gratitude for you. Do you think we'd better call a doctor?

No, if he had a nose of an e -shiver, he'd swallow the thing.

Oh, Mrs. Ketsby?

Yes? May I see you? Certainly.

There.

Some terrible mistake.

A mistake?

I am Professor Van Stouffer. I beg your pardon. Hurry.

Go.

A bullseye.

This is the last straw.

Tonight, we return to Hamburg and the clipper.

I never heard of such a thing.

You never heard of what?

He's going to get a hamburger with a zipper.

He'll mix them a formula they will never forget. Good.

Gentlemen, I demand an explanation.

Oh, don't worry, lady. Let him go. What this college needs anyway is athletics.

Football. And basketball.

I can do very nicely with a high ball. What do you mean?

Come on outside, lady. We'll demonstrate.

Come on, Toots. Come on, girls.

And just try and visualize, lady, a beautiful spring afternoon.

The flowers are in bloom.

The bees are making honey. And Seabiscuit is making six furlongs and

-flat.

Quiet.

The grandstands are filled to capacity.

And look.

I see a diamond.

Where?

Just old -time prospectors.

All right, break it up. Now, Mrs. Katz. Katz be.

All right, Katz be. Suffering Katz be.

Suffering. Hey, will you quit heckling me?

Come on, men. Break it up.

Any luck?

He gets all the breaks. Yeah, for the corona.

A corona?

It was a corona corona, but I only found half of it.

Can I put in a little of this?

Just a little. About one quart. Good.

You see, basketball is very difficult to explain without a basketball.

Has anyone a basketball handy?

Any kind will do.

Pro -flight, baby dimples.

Oh, thank you. That's what I call super service.

Come on, men, we'll demonstrate.

Oh, Pat.

What's the meaning of this? Don't worry, Mother.

so humiliated in my life.

But I'll forgive everything and give the school an athletic fun if you'll just

get those three poor professors back.

Hey,

fellas, get rid of that ball. The lady's got a proposition.

Hey,

lady, that's what I call super service.

Oh, that's all right. We'll have them cleaned up in a minute. Carry on, men.