Original subtitles

something. The same to you, and I don't mean fish.

Oh, hello, Mabel.

Why, Muriel, what's the trouble? Well, it looks as if I can't come to your

party. Arthur's gone on another one of his famous fishing trips, and I won't

have an escort.

Why don't you call the Escort Bureau and have them send over a nice young man?

Well, what do you mean?

Well, from what I understand, the Acme Escort Bureau is thoroughly reliable,

mostly college boys from Harvard and Yale.

Perfect gentlemen. Why don't you try it?

Oh, I don't think that I... Well, you don't want to miss the opportunity of

meeting Lord Walsh, do you?

No. I must run along, dear. I'll be expecting you.

You're going out tonight, Miss Van Twitcher?

Yes. Get me the Acme Escort Bureau on the telephone.

Yes, ma 'am.

I do hope they're discriminating.

Discriminating?

Yes, Mandy.

Scrimine.

Acamy. E -H. I guess this must be it.

Well, that's it.

That's what?

What's the idea?

That's my new invention, the Simplex Rotent Exterminator. I thought we were

supposed to catch a mouse.

Listen, you jughead.

When the mouse comes out of there, he's bound to touch one of those strings.

When he does, the cannon goes off.

Oh, I get it. The noise wakes up the cat, and the cat catches the mouse.

See that?

Wait a minute.

The old -fashioned way is good enough for me.

He ain't progressive.

Now listen, if we don't get him with the strings... We get him with the

hangman's noose. Right around the neck till he's dead.

Oh, come on, come on.

Oh, I wish I had my pretty blower here. I'd get him. If he sees you, he'll never

come out.

That's the old -fashioned way. That's why I lay to wait nights figuring out

safe plan.

I'll show you how to get one.

Now, if I only had a mouse.

Why didn't you say so? That's a cinch.

What's the idea?

I've been reading up on it. See?

So what?

If a pie -eyed piper can call him out, I guess I can sober.

That's a swell idea.

For the mouse.

I know. The strings are too loose. We'll get down there and tighten them and get

them on the way back.

I don't know if I can play that twibble, that tune.

See, that's what got me.

Get me out of here!

Help me out!

Answer the phone.

You want to go home? You just got here.

No.

You'll have to talk a little louder, lady.

I want to engage one of your best men.

We're all best men.

You see, a friend of mine is giving a dinner dance.

Dance?

She's got dance.

By the way, what are your fees?

Fleas? She's got fleas, too, boys.

What else you got, lady?

What?

What's the address, lady?

Meet me at Mrs. Sturgeon's home at 1320 Laurel Canyon Drive.

It's semi -formal.

Tails!

All right.

Has she got snails, too?

No, you lunkhead.

You don't expect to go to a classy joint and catch pets in those dirty overalls,

do you? Come on.

I've got my pickle all here. I can get anything.

Come on.

How do you do, Mrs. Van Twitcher?

Get that thing out of there.

Right. Quite the very idea. Get this disgraceful thing out of here.

Get your shirt on, big boy. We were sent for.

Oh, Clayhammer. It's quite all right.

We're expecting them.

Oh, very well, Mrs. Van Twitchit.

Hold this, Sledgehammer.

Hello, Mabel. Oh, Muriel, I'm so happy to see you. May I present Howard.

Fine, I'm Howard.

Act your service day and night. We do the job and do it right.

Act me.

I say, what now?

Oh, it's their college, yeah.

College?

Dinner is served.

Dinner? Dinner?

Certainly. They always feed you in these high -class joints. You don't want to

wake on an empty stomach, do you? Oh, I should say not. All right, go ahead.

Cut it out.

Get rid of that heater.

Look at all that silver. What do we do with them?

I'll show you what to do with it.

No, you don't.

You eat with them. But why so many? All we need is a knife.

Can't you see how they're laid out? You start at the far end and work your way

down. Ready?

Go!

Go,

crowd boasters! Go for everybody!

Sit down, shorty. Stuff's here and it's mellow. Thank you, thank you.

Oh, dear.

Hey, I ain't got no server yet.

Take part of mine.

Thanks. I say, look here, my dear.

This is my first visit to America, you see, and I want to be very sure that I

observe the proper tabling.

Now, what shall I... Oh, I have it.

I shall keep my eye on those college chaps.

No shoes.

Hey,

buddy.

You ain't gonna get any mice with that tune. You gotta swing it.

Wait a minute, you big chump. You gotta wait till the guests are all gone.

But I'm a pizzicato. Oh, do you boys play, too?

Well... Oh, we'd love to have you play for us.

Hey. You'll play something for us, won't you?

Sometimes I think you've got part of a brain. Thanks. Don't mention it.

Yeah.

Hey, I got a tune of B flat.

Hey, Maestro.

You blow the gas pipe. You get the little fiddle. I'll take the overstuffed

All right, fellas.

Slam. Hey, piano player. You stay and take the tempo from my buddy.

Don't shove.

Man the instruments, boys.

We will now play Romani's Sigmundines by Liederkranz.

Thank you.

Hey,

hey, hey!

Come on up here!

The place is a mess.

We better forget society and get to work.

You guys handle the terminus, I'll handle the boss.

Do you hear anything?

disgraceful. They should be put out of the house.

Yes, madam. Take this thing out of here immediately.

But, madam.

Oh,

lady.

Try

here.

A blooming hole.

What the... Are we a shower bath over here?

It's those escorts. I shall call the Acme and report this. By all means,

the Acme immediately.

Oh,

Arthur!

Muriel!

Oh, Arthur, I'm so glad you're back.

Forgive me, honey. I'll never go fishing again.

Oh, it's terrible.

Did you see a female moth fly through here? Was it a white one? Yeah. No, I

didn't see it.

I know where three moths are going. Where?