Original subtitles

Things are pretty perfect.

Yeah, pretty good.

Pretty good?

A few months ago, you were watching Craig Brooks' movies.

But in a few weeks, you'll be marrying Craig Brooks.

Yeah, but... No, but.

Seriously? I say but and you laugh? Grow up. Hey, I am a grown -up. Then act

like it.

Life is great for all of us.

I'm going to have a new sister who is totes awesome.

A little help?

You were saying?

An awesome sister who's not great at throwing.

And two great new brothers.

One great new brother.

Let's just say new brothers.

You know, you're right. Things are kind of perfect. I guess that's what feels...

Ah, demo, demo!

I can't believe I'm too short for the paintball tournament.

Too short?

Yeah, hair doesn't count.

Lame. But I don't want you to feel left out, little brother, so I'm making you

the center of my training regimen.

And you like hitting me with paintballs.

Oh, so true.

But hey, I gave you goggles.

Did you see that? I almost caught you once.

Definite improvement.

And we should probably get home so we can scrub down Bo.

But he's my target dummy.

No buts.

Seriously?

This paint comes off, right?

Maybe with a power washer.

Uh, what exactly is... Hey, where do you keep the chopsticks?

That's an odd question for a burglar.

Burglar? I'm just looking to eat some kung pao here.

What do you want me to use, a fork?

Speedmire!

The burglar's name is Speedmire?

That's not a burglar. That's Dad's agent, Barry K. Speedmire. He's part of

whole family of agents. They're awesome.

Speedmire, what are you doing here?

If you wanted to talk, you just could have called.

I have a surprise that's way too big for the phone.

Craig, baby!

You're gonna be the next Sat -Man!

Who's Sat -Man?

You don't know Sat -Man?

The Avenger of the Airwaves? Lame.

And no one answered my question.

Mom, Sat -Man is one of the biggest comic book superheroes of all time.

During a frequent flash solar storm, mild -mannered cable repairman Dirk

Drummond was stricken to head by a satellite dish. But he soon realized

satellite dish had given him a superpower.

His brain is plugged into the internet 24 hours a day.

With the power of information, he fights evil, making the world a safe place for

web users everywhere.

All the top actors in Hollywood wanted this role. It means at least three

sequels, plus crossover movies, plus I get to drive the Satmobile.

I can't believe it!

Exactly! Come on, let's go pack!

Pack? Yeah.

The movie starts shooting on Monday in London.

You'll be gone for six months.

Six months?

Or eight or ten. Who cares? This guy is Batman.

But what about the wedding?

No. No chopsticks.

You kids got pencils? I could use two pencils.

He takes the part.

You'll have to post home the wedding.

Looks that way.

But I schemed so hard to get you together.

I've never schemed so hard in my life. All my scheming, ruined.

Way to make it all about you.

I know that you don't want to wait.

You want to marry Craig now.

Maybe, but it's a really big opportunity for him.

I'm going to tell him to take it.

I'm not going to get in his way.

No!

You have to tell Speedmire you'll take it. I can't. Beth is more important to

me. I don't want to wait a year to marry her.

Sure, Beth is awesome, and I totes want you to get married.

But I also want you to take the part. It would be amazing.

Why can't everything just be perfect and nothing ever go wrong? Diamond, I

appreciate it. I do.

But I'm going to turn it down.

Satman, your archenemy, Dialup, is headed this way. Watch out!

Stand back.

I'll protect you.

See? You are a satman.

Diamond, I'm not taking the part.

And he's gonna tell her he's not taking it.

Really? That's great!

I know, but it's also not great. This isn't just another movie part for him.

It's such a big thing and he really wants it.

Really? Really, really.

I mean, I wish they could have the wedding and he could take the part.

Well, why not?

Um, because the movie is filming when they're gonna have the wedding.

Seriously, Soph? You need to keep up. No, I mean, I have an idea.

Are you scheming?

Totally scheming. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Well, tonight is Friday night.

Your dad doesn't have to leave until Monday.

That gives us two days to throw the most awesome, incredible, we've been

meddling for months now, wedding.

Yes!

But if we're going to make this happen, we'll need some help.

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend. Her dad, huge movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

Welcome to our first ever family meeting.

Um, to be clear, we're not officially family yet.

Whatever. Welcome to our almost family family meeting.

Gotcha. We have something very important to talk about. Monster?

Alien macaroni?

Are we getting an in -house composting site? If so, I vote for the kitchen

counter. Ew.

And no to all of that.

We're talking about the wedding.

Girls, that's already been decided. I'm not taking the part.

Craig, I told you already. You have to take the part.

Adults, relax.

We got the... How?

We're going to throw you a wedding tomorrow!

Did you not hear us? Because we can probably yell louder.

We heard you. Pittsburgh heard you.

And how are you going to pull off a wedding by tomorrow?

Well, we're going to need help.

But if we can get this done... Are you in?

Come on, you'll have your cake and you get to eat it too.

Why not?

Yes.

I'm in charge of the cake.

No, you're not.

Okay, now, we're giving everyone a job.

And you two are building the gazebo.

Phoenix, we can't do this. We have to practice for the paintball tournament.

Tomorrow.

That's right. I knew I was forgetting something.

This is quite the conundrum. I don't think you understand just how unhappy

and I are going to be if you don't help. And if we're unhappy, you two are going

to be very unhappy.

Get it?

Then, for the sake of true love, I accept the challenge.

That and we're totally scared of you guys.

What was that?

Nothing. Okay, so this is where the wedding's going to happen.

We'd like the gazebo to be white lattice with a super cute swinging loveseat.

And if you could grow some beautiful flowers at both sides, that'd be

Amazing or impossible? Oh, and the correct answer's impossible.

We just need a platform and maybe a place for flowers.

Come on, you guys can do it.

I mean, Nate, you are the handiest guy I know.

Well, I am handy.

And Phoenix, you're, like, so creative.

I am so creative.

Great. Now get to work and just make sure it's ready to go by tomorrow.

They just did that thing where they flatter us and then we do what they

didn't they?

Oh, yeah.

There's got to be a way to build this and make the tournament.

I know.

What if we build it fast?

Yeah. Fast.

You don't know what I was going to ask.

I heard you say need.

Don't know.

Fine. I would like you to be the DJ at the wedding.

Why would I want to?

And you can be as loud as you want.

I've waited my whole life for someone to say that to me.

Sure, I can cater the wedding.

So? I guess the apps will be some sort of lunch meat, white bread, any chance

can get a fancy mustard.

Actually, I was thinking toasted brioche rounds with creme fraiche, caviar,

maybe a lobster salad on endive, Pierce.

What?

I'm taking an online cooking class.

I need to practice on someone.

Thank you.

Never do that.

Okay, so food taken care of. This is amazing. We're almost done.

Yeah, but hearing all that kind of makes me wish we were doing a big fancy event

wedding. What? Why?

Did you not hear the words big, fancy, and event? I mean, that's totally up my

boulevard. I think you mean up my alley.

Alley? Ew.

But we still need someone to actually marry them.

And on short notice.

Ooh.

And I know who.

Lou? You can marry people?

Well, I went in to renew my fishing license, got in a dispute with that

-pants Martha.

Who he has a crush on. Do not.

Uh -huh.

Got distracted, ended up filling out the wrong form.

Long story short, since then I've done a lot of illegal fishing, but I'd be

happy to officiate my daughter's wedding.

Really? You did it?

Yep, we got everyone to help. Even Bo?

DJ. Ah.

We're all set.

Tomorrow you'll be married.

I can't believe it. Me either.

Hey, Speedmire. I was just going to call you. You're kidding, right?

I love this guy.

Comedy, drama, he does it all.

Okay. So why can't you believe?

You didn't call me first.

Craig, buddy, you're a gigantic celeb. And celeb weddings, big deal. We're

to need PR people.

We're going to need other celebs. Maybe some royals.

When you decide to get married, the first person you call is your agent.

He has a point. He has no point.

When you decide to get married, you call your family.

Then your extended family.

Then the family you don't really like.

And then maybe if you even have an agent, you call them.

You're adorable.

And wrong. But no worries.

We're going to take this small -town wedding and make it huge.

But that's the exact opposite of everything we're doing. I know, right?

going to Hollywood the Egg Rolls out of this thing.

Hollywood the Egg Rolls? What? I'm hungry.

Come on in, people.

Come on, let's go.

Ah, perfect.

I

can't.

Nay, I won't believe our wedding plans are getting hijacked. I'm conscionable.

Isn't that a show?

But hey, I'm sure we can scheme our way out of this.

Put on your thinking PJs.

Okay, first of all, not sure I have pajamas that help me think.

And second, all these experienced professionals taking over the wedding.

I mean, would that be the worst thing that ever happened?

Diamond! Sophia!

We already planned the perfect wedding. A version of the perfect wedding. Maybe

this could be better.

So a wedding with a bunch of strangers and cameras and food that's too pretty

eat? Yeah, exactly. See, you get it. And you don't.

Our plan was cute and adorable and small. But if we let Speedmire's crew

over, we can kick back, relax, and just enjoy a big, huge, awesome wedding.

Okay, how is it that we spend so much time together, but we're still so

different?

You know, what if all this... All this what?

You and me.

As sisters. What if it doesn't work?

Maybe it won't.

I mean, we are...

Totally different.

Well, I'm gonna go sleep in the guest room.

I'm gonna go sleep on the couch.

Let's build a platform.

Miami, Florida!

That was odd.

Where is Nate?

We're never going to get this done if he doesn't... Ow!

And unfair.

Dude, it's painful.

Fair? Not a thing.

How long were you hiding there?

Since three in the morning. What? If you were out here, why didn't you help me

finish the platform?

I thought lulling you into a false sense of security would teach you to always

be aware of your surroundings.

Plus, I fell asleep.

Well, here's what I'm aware of. This thing is junk. I don't know about that.

Wow. Yep, we got work to do.

But there's no way we can finish this and make the tournament.

Let's just get this done.

So, where do we start?

Uh, how about we start with the stairs?

Yeah.

an emotional time and I need a sympathetic ear and or shoulder to cry

listen to me. Have you met me?

Well, everyone else is way busy and you're the only one I could find. And

me, you're totally my last resort.

Whatever. It's just, you know how Sophia has become like my best friend?

Uh -huh. Well, we're totally not best friends now. We're so different. We

be on anything. I mean, how are we going to be sisters?

Sisters are like double best friends. And so now I'm thinking that maybe this

whole thing isn't going to work.

And your foundation is listing.

You got some rotten boards here.

And you're using the wrong kind of screws.

Lou, not helping.

Not trying to help. Just telling you everything that's wrong with your

Thank you.

Oh, and another thing.

Haven't you heard? A whole bunch of Hollywood crazies are going to hijack

wedding. So they're not even going to use this thing.

Really? No way.

Yes way.

Oh, paintball.

We can just make it on time.

your last resort?

It's Diamond.

I mean, I thought we were best friends, but we're just so different.

How can we be sisters?

We can't agree on anything, and... Um, okay.

Why? You both did it to me, so I thought I'd give it a try.

Wait, both?

Yeah. Diamond was in here, too, blabbing about the same stuff.

And I got things to do, so come on.

This is peanut butter.

You have peanut butter in your...

This is jelly.

I have so many questions. How do you sit? How long has that been in there?

did you get it in there? Isn't your butt wet? Isn't your butt gross? Ladies, you

could ask questions or hear what I have to say.

Fine. Go ahead.

Peanut butter, awesome.

Jelly, also awesome.

Together.

Totally awesome.

You're welcome.

And now we need new carpet.

But he's got a point.

Yeah. I mean, just because we're different doesn't mean... We're not

together.

Aw. We do make a pretty awesome sandwich.

True. And I guess we could get Speedmire to keep the wedding in the backyard.

Where were they going to have it? On a solid gold yacht in the harbor.

Oh, you're serious?

Well, the food those L .A. caterers were making looked pretty good.

Let's make sure they keep those.

I'm glad you're gonna be my sister.

Back at ya.

And I don't know about you, but I totally want a peanut butter and jelly

sandwich now.

Me too!

Does Bo always keep peanut butter and jelly in his pockets? Just be happy it's

not egg salad.

Speedmire? What's wrong?

You didn't hear?

Your parents called off the wedding.

But, what?

You want some chop suey?

Really takes the edge off.

What do you mean they canceled the wedding?

Or postponed or whatever.

Wait, so they're still getting married?

Yeah, but a year from now, whenever the movie's done.

Do you know how much it cost me to fly in all those designers and PR people?

A lot.

Befire, you're still... Um, hello?

When were you going to tell us you're not getting married?

We are. In a year, which is crazy. You're in love.

Totes in love, and we had it all figured out. Get married tomorrow and start the

movie on... Hey, look at the time.

Yes. The time.

Speedmine, don't you have a plane to catch?

Or a bus.

Or some other form of conveyance?

Yeah, I guess I should get going.

Just promise me, whenever you do get married, you'll make it the biggest,

craziest, most gold yacht wedding ever.

You got it.

Sure. All right, I'm out. I'll see you on set, buddy.

Later.

Okay, were you guys scheming? What is going on?

Don't worry.

The wedding's still on. Craig and I were talking, and... We never would have

gotten together if it weren't for you kids.

So we decided to get married.

With just you kids.

Our new family.

I'm tearing up happy.

But you can still make it happen, right? Yeah.

We got this. Like peanut butter without jelly.

So, you know all that fancy food we ordered and then canceled?

We need to uncancel the order.

Too late. Fancy food was today's special, and we sold out.

Can we just get some non -fancy food, then?

Anything.

Yes, I can. Great! See you in an hour!

Serial it is.

Dad's getting old.

Good news, we're in charge of the wedding again.

So get your stuff outside.

Whatever. We did it. We are the paintball victors.

Don't care. You guys finished the platform, right?

Who told you to stop building it? Lou. He said a bunch of crazy L .A. people

took over it. Well, they did. But then Mom and Craig started scheming and speed

my rates of noodles and fingers were crossed and... Grandpa?

You finished it.

I sure did.

Oh, you hoped Beth and Dad would still want a small family wedding until you

decided to go ahead and build a platform just in case.

Sure. Grandpa.

Yeah, yeah, I didn't know about any of that. I just can't stand poor

construction.

Makes me itch.

To be your lawful wedded wife as long as you both shall live.

I do.

Do you, Beth Miller, take Craig Brian Brooke to be your lawful wedded husband?

Do you think it's weird that he's the only guest? Well, he's the reason our

parents met.

I do.

And so, as we're gathered here on this beautiful day, we celebrate the love of

these two...

So, you think your lives are going to change much?

Uh, trips to L .A., red carpet parties, paparazzi everywhere.

Yeah, probably going to change.

And you're okay with that?

As long as I have you.

Um,

did you hear that? Is this platform safe?

No sudden moves.

Stupid people. Slowly.

Whoa!