Original subtitles

A cactus haiku.

So prickly.

So waterless.

Why did I touch you?

Hey, Phoenix. Your dad fell asleep on my couch.

Again. No, I didn't. I was just resting my eyes.

Ah, really?

Because my drool -soaked couch cushion would indicate otherwise.

At least he was on the couch.

I found him curled up in a puddle of drool on the kitchen counter yesterday.

I put my bagel right in it. Hey, I've been working a lot of night shoots

I'm too tired to sleep with my mouth closed.

But only one more night till my movie wraps.

Well, don't push yourself too hard. Push myself too hard? Come on.

I jump off buildings, race motorcycles, and fight cheetahs for a living.

Actually, your stunt double does all that.

What? Trevor's way tougher than you.

Anyway, being a little bit tired is no problem. You don't need to worry about

me. I'm Craig Brooks.

I can handle anything.

Oh, right. You're Craig Brooks.

Superhuman movie star who doesn't sleep drools everywhere and owes me a new

couch cushion.

See you later.

Hey, Dad. Want to hear my new poem? It's about how a triangle's three lines

joined in infinity.

Love to, but I gotta sleep.

Some people have told me that my poetry puts them to sleep.

I promise you, there'll be lots of time for poetry once my movie wraps.

Good night.

Or day.

I don't know what time it is.

Stupid laugh.

Ladies, little ladies.

You were looking at a wedding dress magazine, weren't you? What? No.

She was?

You were?

No, I was reading a magazine on rodent health.

I'm a vet, you know.

Oh, yeah? What's the magazine called?

Uh, Rat Wellness Weekly.

So boring. It's all about rat diets and exercises. You know, that spinning

wheel.

It's totally a wedding dress magazine.

Fine. I was looking at dresses.

But I hid it because I didn't want you to make that noise and get way too

excited. Anyway, I'm just looking.

There's no rush to pick one out. We can go shopping tomorrow.

In the future.

You've got to let me finish my sentences.

Here's a sentence.

There's no time like the present.

Well, I have that thing.

At that place.

The thing at the place is canceled. And wow, you're a bad liar. We're going

dress shopping tomorrow.

What

are

you doing?

The film is that loose.

You can't expect me not to use it.

Whoa, be quiet. Dad's sleeping.

Why? Did you read him your poetry?

You say it like being lulled to sleep with beautiful words is a bad thing. I

just had a lovely nap.

I can't be quiet. Not this bad boy.

Save it for tomorrow.

Dad wraps the movie tonight, and I was thinking we should celebrate and have a

boys' day together.

Boys' day? You mean a day of burping content?

I'm in.

No, I meant like... Go -kart?

Yeah, and maybe mini -golf. And laser tag.

We'll eat foods that shouldn't be combined or fried but are anyway.

Yes. And then we'll have a perfect contest.

Boys Day!

Guys, I'm trying to sleep here.

Sorry, but we had an idea.

Boys Day. Yeah, I heard.

Sounds fun.

I'm only working two hours tonight. I'll probably crash in my trailer, but then

you can pick me up in the morning and then... Boys Day!

Oh, dude, we'll stop doing that. See you in the morning.

about this place that has deep -fried chocolate -covered mayonnaise.

Okay, that's definitely lunch.

Wait, where are the trailers and the sets and the stuff?

Also, where's the dad?

Oh, wow.

It's flipped in.

I really slept in.

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend, her dad, huge movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Star Falls.

Maybe we're at the wrong place.

Here's a page from the script.

I won't stop until the jewel thieves, fake nuns, and electric eels are caught.

Yep, that's that movie, all right.

It's creepy quiet around here.

Scary quiet.

Eerily quiet.

Who are you?

Sorry, we're just looking for our dad.

Well, your dad's not here, is he? So beat it. Hey, don't you know who we are?

don't care if you're the Queen of England.

It's just our dad, Craig Brooks, was filming a movie here, and we were

to pick him... Here's the thing.

It's my job to carry around this folding chair, occasionally unfold it, and

watch this lot.

So hit the brick.

Beat it.

Something's not right.

Like what? A scary movie?

Set in a small town.

Or an abandoned carnival. Where creepy things happen.

Like alien abduction.

What if aliens abduct a dad?

What if he's an alien?

I love the smell of fresh dresses.

You're right. It's nice.

That smell of the dress hair. Smell it.

Yep. Smells like a store.

Ladies, welcome.

Now, I know it's a little overwhelming, but we'll find you the perfect dress.

Yeah, we will. We'll toast to get something amazing.

We've got this.

Thanks, but I... I'm thinking a one -of -a -kind designer dress.

Ooh, what about a vintage one -of -a -kind designer dress?

Vintage? I was thinking... Yes, vintage, totally!

Love it.

Ooh, so, look at this one.

Love it. The sleeves on it are, as you say, totes adorbs.

Leave, but I... Check it out. Look at this fabric. Ooh, and this one.

And this one.

And this one.

Okay. Girls, do you maybe want to know what I think?

Yep. This one. Yeah. Guess not.

If Dad was abducted by aliens, he could be on Mars by now. Or in a whole other

galaxy that we don't even know exists.

What if they're probing him?

It's the aliens!

No, it's that.

Are you calling from outer space? Are you being probed right now?

Probed? What are you...

What do you see outside the window? Do you see planets and stars?

No, I see grass and a whole lot of nothing.

There's grass on the moon?

Okay, I'm not in space.

Look,

I fell asleep after the shoot and I was so zonked I didn't wake up when they

moved my trailer.

So then where are you?

No idea.

But I'll send my GPS location.

You can come and get me.

Okay, we're on our way.

What's wrong?

I'm not saying I wanted Dad to get probed, but...

You know, I've always wanted to meet aliens.

I know, bud.

But this way, we still get to have Boys Day.

Right! Laser tank!

Boys Day! Boys Day! Boys Day!

How's it going?

You seem to have made a number of choices.

Yeah, choices.

Made them.

We have more dresses!

Lots more. Mom, you're going to look gorgeous.

Great. Ooh, I bet you'll end up in one of those wedding magazines.

Yeah, because newsflash, you're going to be Craig Bookfly.

And then the magazine will interview us and find out we were totally different

but became best friends and picked out the dress together. And then everyone

will love us and say we're the best bridesmaids ever. The best.

Bridesmaids' dresses.

Yeah, bridesmaids' dresses.

Hey, girls.

You need dresses, too.

Yes, we totally need dresses.

Oh, don't!

No need to look. I know the perfect one.

Boys! Dad!

I can't tell you how glad I am to see you guys.

I think that hawk's been circling me.

Come on, if we leave now, we can still do all our boys' day stuff.

Right. Gold card, stem, mini putt, and then laser tag.

All right.

Boys Day, here we come.

Boys Day. Boys Day. Boys Day. Boys Day. Boys Day. Boys Day. Boys

Day. Boys Day.

Go faster.

Something's wrong.

Oh, no.

Aliens!

She's kidding about the dress, right?

I don't know. She's your mom.

Does she make horrible, ugly dress, too?

Tell me you have another, and in there five, let me go check.

Or don't. I mean, come on. Checking for sizes is so overrated, am I right?

Not really.

It's my job.

So you love it too, right?

I mean, it's super made of Chinese fabric. And very color.

And ruffle.

I knew you'd love it.

Good news.

These are the last two. And they're in your sizes.

Yay!

You two are going to look so cute.

we gonna do?

My mom loves these dresses. How is that possible?

Do you see all these ruffles?

Why so many ruffles? Why any ruffles? I know, and the puffy sleeves are so, so

very puffed and puffy.

Wait, has your mom had her eyes checked lately? Because I don't think she can

see. So first step, get her an eye appointment.

Second step, get her a seeing eye dog.

Third step, feed the dresses to the dog.

Starfall eye doctor.

My mom can see fine.

Is it the fan belt?

Spark plugs?

Radiator?

Those are all the car thingies I know.

I'm not sure.

I mean, I played a mechanic in a movie.

But all I had to do was hold a wrench and act surly.

Uh, does Eon the gas gauge mean extremely full?

Phoenix.

What? I don't believe in supporting evil oil corporations, so I refuse to stop

for gas.

Also, I may not have looked at the gas gauge.

Sorry, Dad.

Can we use lemonade for gas?

No.

Water? No.

Spit? No.

Good, because it'd take me a long time to collect enough spit.

Well, I have no idea what I'm looking at here, so I should probably close this.

Is it called a hood?

I know. We can drive your trailer.

Are you kidding me?

That'd be like driving a school bus or a transport truck for a caboose.

I can drive it. No, you can't.

Plus... I don't have the keys.

Then let's just call Beth to pick us up. No way.

She never let me live it down after I said I'm Craig Brooks. I can handle

anything. Wow.

You were wrong about that.

Thanks. I'm aware.

Anyway, we can figure this out.

We're smart.

He's right.

We are smart.

How do you get this hood to close?

Like that.

Now, through the power of collective brainstorming, we'll find the answer we

need.

Let's think.

We could try my spit in the gas tank idea.

Or we could tame wild horses and ride them back to Starfall.

Or we could just give up and start a new life here in the trailer.

Yes, it does have everything we need.

Shelter, a tiny table, a bathroom with a folding door.

I call Top Bunk. Hey, I'm older. I get it. I'm smaller.

Or we could call it Tow Truck.

That could also work.

I won't.

Look, yes, we absolutely hate the dresses, but we can't just hurt my mom's

feelings. We have to be supportive.

I will support her, but I will never support that dress. It stands for

everything that's awful and satiny.

Well, then we'll just have to find a way out of wearing them.

You mean sabotage the wedding for our parents to call it off? Sophia, that's

horrible.

Not what I meant.

Right, sabotage the dresses.

If they ruin them, Beth will never know how we really feel.

Ooh, we could use them to start a bonfire.

This interior looks seriously flammable.

That bonfire might turn into a wildfire.

Good point.

Well, we could put them through a paper shredder. Or a wood chipper. Or... My

mom did pay for them, so maybe we don't destroy them?

Fine.

Hey, what if the dresses got lost?

Yes! In an unfortunate dress -losing incident.

Only to show up days after the wedding. When they could be returned to the store

with the tag still on.

Tediousness!

Queen Bee.

It won't balance.

Rock Checkers is the worst.

Better than Rock Soccer.

My foot still really hurts.

The tow truck is taking forever.

It's been 16 minutes.

Yeah, exactly.

Forever.

There's no way we can do everything for Boys Day now.

We'll have to forget about go -karting.

Which is fine, because I'm a little annoyed with automobiles right now.

Don't worry. We can still make mini -putt and laser tag.

Right, boys?

Plus, we're spending time together.

That's something, right?

Is that my checker or yours?

Who cares?

It's so hot out here. I'm melting.

Guys, relax.

Let's go cool off inside the trailer.

Hey, I was winning.

We were playing checkers with rocks. It's not a real game. Well, it could be

with a positive attitude and a little imagination.

Hey, my imagination's not little.

So, we were walking downtown with the dresses.

You know, showing everyone how beautiful they are. When out of nowhere, a group

of thugs grabbed them.

Right out of her hands. And they took off running with the dress.

Really? Wow.

Anyway, we chased them for like 17 blocks.

So we were going in circles because Star Falls only had four blocks.

And that made us so dizzy, which was obviously part of their plan.

And who knew that in a quaint town like Star Falls, dress thieves walk among us.

Among us.

Wow. I can't believe it. I know. I wouldn't believe it either if I didn't

experience it with our own eyes and hands. The hands the thieves took the

dresses from. The very dresses that we were carrying in our hands.

Ow!

It's a painful memory for her.

Well, girls, I am so sorry you had to endure that.

But I have some good news.

Sure could use some good news.

Look what I found!

I... how?

I know, right?

The thieves must have gotten scared and dropped them off at the rescue. I found

them in a cage in the back.

Oh, good!

You! Hooray!

Now go try them on to see if they're damaged.

Go fish.

I think you mean go leaf.

Seriously, enough of the dad jokes.

I want to be hitting a golf ball into a clown's mouth.

What was that?

That must be the tow truck.

These looked bad on a

hanger, but they're even worse on a human being. How can there be so many...

textures in one draft.

I know.

It's itchy, satiny, scratchy, and poofy all at once.

But mostly really, really itchy.

So itchy.

Now that I'm thinking about it being itchy, I can't stop itching.

Oh, come on!

We took the car!

We left us!

Hang on. I'll call the tow guy.

And my phone is in the car.

Mine too.

You're never getting home.

Boy's day is officially ruined.

Come on.

We can still make it to laser tag.

Wow, it's late.

Yep, boy's day is officially ruined.

So hot.

So cold.

So in between hot and cold. It's called warm. You're warm.

Just going without me.

I'm so glad we had this last day together.

Phoenix, we'll be fine. Please, tell everyone my story.

The story about how you forgot to put gas in the car then freaked out because

you were too warm?

Lame. Guys, we'll survive and we'll have Boys Day another time.

Plus, come on, this has been an adventure.

Well, there weren't go -karts or lasers.

But there were rocks.

And don't forget about those super cool leaves.

Shh, I think I hear something.

It's a car!

We're not doomed. I will go on.

Thank you, Eilish. I just made a wish and it blew away.

Woo! What are you all doing out here?

It's a long story, but I fell asleep in my trailer after the movie wrapped. Then

I got towed away with me inside, and I didn't want to tell Beth because I

bragged about being a superhero.

And we were supposed to pick him up, but when we got to the lot, it was

deserted. And there was a cranky alien security guard. All right, all right.

I'm going to stop you there.

This is too much story.

Get in. Lou, thank you. We thought it was over for us. No, we didn't. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I'm heading to my lawn bowling league, but I can give you a

guess.

Ah! Boys day!

Boys day! Boys day! Boys day! Boys day! Get in!

I like to hear the gravel when I'm driving.

Boys day! Boys day! Boys day! Boys day! Boys day!

Ugly, scratchy dress to the wedding? I can't wear it right now.

Wait.

Let's do something we should have done a long time ago.

Switch to minty shoes made for a fresher breath?

No, why? Do I have bad breath?

No, I just thought that's what you were going to say. Your breath's fine.

Actually, fresher than most. Really? Oh, thanks.

Anyway, we should just tell my mom we don't like the dresses.

Huh.

That dress might be crazy enough to work.

So the truth is, we don't love the dresses.

They're just kind of hideous.

What Timon is so harshly trying to say is we detest the dresses with every

of our beings.

Wow.

You should see the look on your faces.

Oh, actually, this is so going on the fridge.

What are you talking about?

I know the dresses are awful. I'm not blind.

You were right. She can see.

Hush. I didn't actually want you to wear them. I was just messing with you.

Mom, that is so mean.

No, it's not.

Okay, it is.

But don't worry. You get to pick your own dresses for the wedding. Just like I

get to choose my own dress for the wedding.

How about we go shopping and actually listen to each other?

I guess we kind of took over.

Nothing kind of about it.

Totally took over.

We're sorry. We didn't mean to hijack your dress shopping. We just wanted to

help. Maybe a little too much. Which is otherwise known as?

Meddling.

Any chance after the wedding you'll, uh, stop with all the meddling?

Maybe when you go to college.

Hello?

Ah! Aliens!

Nope, just the ugliest dresses in the world. We're gonna change now.