All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s06e15 Opposites Attack

Just ran into an old friend of mine.
How'd you like to make a thousand bucks

before four?

Well, actually, I had a nap plan. Ah,
AJ.

I got two words for you.

Panelizing Tammy.

You've got us a client who's a stripper.

Okay, I got two more words for you. Del
Mar.

Ah.

Del Mar. Del Mar.

Thoroughbred racing. You got it. The
sport of king. Absolutely.

I've got one word for you, Rick.

No.

A .J., I just ran into Barney.

They don't call him Mr. Locke for
nothing, and Barney says that

Tammy is a Locke in the seventh.

Now, at 20 to 1, 50 bucks becomes 1 ,000
bucks two minutes later.

The last time you and Mr. Locke went to
the track, I had to loan Mr.

Locke the cab fare to get home.

All right, look, A .J., do this for me,
okay?

I have been up two nights in a row on
this Burnside stakeout. I need, I

To have some fun.

Rick.

This is an office.

A business office.

Businesses. Keep regular hours.

Yeah.

But since we have absolutely nothing
going on here except that samurai sword

delivery, and since our couriers were
nice enough to let us know that they're

not going to be here until tomorrow, we
have absolutely no reason to hang around

here today.

No!

It's Wednesday at 18, 3 p .m., interview
with Rick and A .J. Simon. Which is

which, by the way?

I'm Rick, and he's the other one.

I'm Millie Burroughs, and this is the
renowned photojournalist, Teddy Dayton.

Hi.

We're doing a feature piece on Japanese
millionaires.

We heard that a biggie is coming to buy
a building and a rare samurai sword set.

Rumor has it that the two of you are in
charge of delivering the swords.

If you'd give me an exclusive... I'm
sorry.

But we are not... Well, now, just hold
on a second. There's nothing wrong with

giving them a little scoop. Excuse me.

Our policy is very clear.

We do not talk about pending cases
without permission of the client.

Now, if you wish to call the client and
get permission, go ahead.

He's right. I mean, as much as we would
like to earn your gratitude, we can't

say anything.

Can you believe this bozo? He was ready
to spill his guts.

Bozo? What's going on here?

I'm Annette McDowell. This is Pam Woods,
Transnational Security, New York.

You're the couriers.

You're not supposed to be here till
tomorrow.

We thought we'd confuse the opposition
and find out what kind of local yokel

detectives we were stuck with.

Sometimes we draw some real losers.

You ran a scam on us. And you fell for
it like a two -year -old.

Annette just batted her eyes twice, and
you were running on glands.

Bit of all the dirty, low -down tricks.

Loose -lifting chips, pal. I'd like to
loosen your lips. Come on in, Trotty.

Don't call me late. Obvious mistake on
my part.

Let's just do our business and go back
to New York.

Good idea.

Now, when Beaumont called us, he seemed
very nervous about the swords being

hijacked. He's a warrior.

Where are the swords now?

Safe. Did Beaumont tell you the swords
are key to millions? Yes, we were

thoroughly briefed.

Sato wants to buy a building from
Beaumont, but he insists on acquiring

swords as part of the deal. There is
nothing slipshod about our operation.

Now, if you will simply turn the swords
over to us... We turn nothing over to

you. The swords stay with us until Mr.

Sato takes official delivery.

Sato's staying at the Carlton Hotel. I
suggest we all drive over there

You just follow us and keep your eyes
open.

We have our own transportation.

Don't defend her to me. She has all the
charm of a roof now.

I'm not defending her.

I'm just saying that she's an
aggressive, take charge kind of woman. I

think that's necessarily a bad thing in
the detective business.

Where are they? I told them I wouldn't
park.

Tell me they got lost in a parking lot.

I can see this business has been real
lucrative for you, Simon.

Shall we sit here and watch it rust, or
do you want to roll that mobile junk

pile to the Carlton Hotel?

Come on. Rick, you're embarrassing me.

We're supposed to be leading the way
here.

I strongly suggest that you invest some
of your fabulous salary in driving

lessons. Did I scare you?

That's the way everyone drives in the
Big Apple. Every time I come to one of

these hit towns... Hit towns?

This from Daisy Mae.

We are here to see Mr. Sato.

Ah, yes.

The sword.

Come.

I'm Shintogo Natsura, Mr. Sato's
assistant.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Sato has been delayed
in Tokyo.

He won't be arriving until tomorrow
morning.

No need to apologize. We should have
called first.

If you would like to leave the sword
with me, it would save you another trip.

Oh, that's okay. We don't mind, really.

I could arrange better security.

No, that's all right.

We'll bring the swords back in the
morning.

But it would be so much simpler if you
left them.

I'm sorry, but we can't. It would
violate our contract with Mr. Beaumont.

Very well, then, until tomorrow.

And once again, my apologies.

I'm a spooky guy.

You seem to have a lot of those around
here.

I don't suppose you had the foresight to
provide some sort of overnight security

for these?

A bank vault, an armored car?

No. You guys weren't supposed to be here
until tomorrow, remember?

You do know the days of the week, don't
you?

That's right. Our little scheme
backfired, but can't we work this out

World War III? Yes, we can, and I think
I have the perfect solution.

What are you cooking, possum?

No, veal.

Veal, fresh vegetables, heart's palm
salad.

Not exactly West Texas, Bill.

Is that where you're from?

Little town outside of Odessa.

We used to say we lived 30 miles from
Odessa and 200 miles from civilization.

Sounds like Rick would have enjoyed it.

And after I graduated from Boston
College, I was supposed to live with my

in D .C.

and to go to Georgetown Law School.

Well, my uncle was a cop, and before I
knew it, I was hooked on police work.

boy. Bet your parents were thrilled
about that.

My mother would call me every other day
with her latest nightmare about how I

was killed. Uh -huh. Yeah, yeah.

So we sort of compromised on my becoming
a private investigator.

And you really like it?

Some days I do.

Like when we do a good job.

Or when we figure out all the clues.

Or when we help someone who really
needed it.

Or... When you cash fat fee check.

Yes. Oh, yes, there's that, too. Yeah,
my favorite part.

Dinner's served.

Shall we?

Mmm, that's good.

Oh, California Newfell. This brings back
pleasant memories.

Memory? How so memories?

Well... Nouvelle Cuisine has been out in
New York for over 18 months or so.

Third World Ethnic's hot right now.

Third World Ethnic?

Sounds nauseating.

Well, you have to be adventurous,
creative, not just the same old chicken

veal.

I see.

Well, perhaps I could rush out into the
kitchen and whip you up a mess of wild

root and beetle -infested rye.

No, I didn't mean to offend you, A .J.
I'm sorry.

This looks delicious, really.

Yeah, lighten up, A .J. You said this
was supposed to be a civilized evening,

remember? Why don't you give her some
wine? The dinner wine's delicious.

I think you'll find this stacks up to
anything you find in Muggerville, even

though it's just a California wine.

It's good, huh?

It's fine.

Fine.

Oh -ho!

Talk about damning with faint praise.

No, really.

It's very good.

Go on. I'm waiting for the other shoe to
drop. I can tell you're dying to say

something.

All right.

For my palate, California wines are
rather jujune.

They just don't have the same character
that comes from the really old vines of

Europe. I've said the same thing myself
a dozen times.

Sorry, A .J. It's not that I blame you.

I'm sure that you just don't have a
proper place to shop for really fine

There's a shop in New York, 4 ,000
square feet, nothing but the best

vintages. I'd love to take you there
sometime.

Thank you, ma 'am.

But us rustic hicks are stupefied by the
big city.

I'm rather partial to the dunes.

Could I have two more, please?

No one authorized us to take the swords
out of the case, let alone take the

sword out of the scabbard.

Yes, but the point is, did anyone
actually forbid you to do that?

No, it really never came up.

Officially, they're in our care until
tomorrow.

That means it's our choice.

I vote yes.

I vote yes.

That craftsmanship.

Boy, is that beautiful.

No wonder Sato wants them back in Japan.

Well, it's nearly midnight.

I suggest we set up some sort of
schedule for keeping watch over these.

No need for that. I plan on staying up
all night anyway.

I thought I recognized that accent.

Southern Transylvania, right?

Cute. So happens that once I get on a
case, I get wired.

Last year, we had that tough stakeout.

I stayed up 72 hours straight.

Good. I figured I was the only night owl
in the group.

Remember that smuggling case last year,
A .J.? I must have gone without sleep

for at least 96 straight hours.

Well, I don't get wired. I just get
sleepy, so if one of you gets drowsy,

wake me.

Not a chance.

Me neither.

I'll show you to your room.

Please don't tell me you have a
waterbed.

Yes. Filled with low -sodium mineral
water.

You sure you're not scared to be alone
with me all night?

Hell, I hope you try something.

Eh, not me.

Hey!

Rick?

The swords! The swords!

Well, we're checking the neighbors,
Lieutenant. Nothing so far.

Just once. Couldn't you guys get in
trouble after breakfast?

Well, we'll consider it.

Did you do a good job on this one?

Is that something about ninjas?

Three of them dressed in black, faces
covered.

Oh, that really narrows it down.

They didn't by any chance drop a bagel
and cream cheese on their way out, did

they? Omelette?

Anything? Would you like me to step out
into the kitchen and whip something up

for you? Nah, forget it. Just hit the
highlights for me.

Two samurai swords worth thousands in
themselves, but also tied to a multi

-million dollar commercial real estate
deal.

Lieutenant, we got company.

Mr. Sato?

Friends of yours?

A customer, I believe.

I'm Musashi Sato. I came directly from
the airport when I heard.

The swords are still missing.

Yes, sir.

This is Lieutenant Brown.

That's my brother Rick, and I'm A .J.
Simon.

We were assigned to guard the swords.
It's our mistake.

I see.

Did you look at the blades?

Well, we, uh... I was hoping you'd had
that pleasure.

The blades were forged by Umetada Myoju
nearly 400 years ago, and they are as

magnificent as any daisho you'll ever
see.

A what show? Daisho.

A daisho is a matched set of long and
short samurai swords.

Mr. Sato, we would appreciate any
information that might aid the

For instance, do you know of any
collectors who might go to these

get their hands on those swords?

I have one doubt.

You know I'm purchasing a building from
Jonathan Beaumont in addition to the

Daisho. I know that one week after Mr.
Beaumont and I signed the purchase

option, he received a higher offer for
his building.

I also know he's a very tough
businessman, and so am I.

So what you're trying to avoid saying is
that Mr. Beaumont might have stolen his

own swords in order to clear the deal so
that he could sell to a higher bidder?

I do not accuse him.

I merely have a doubt.

I understand.

I'll be staying at the Carlton Hotel. I
would appreciate any information that

might develop.

Gentlemen.

The guy

talking to Sato, keep an eye on him.
That's his assistant, Natsuo.

Quite trust him. Yesterday he was just a
little bit too anxious to get his hands

on those swords.

He and his bodyguards would make dandy
ninjas.

Thank you.

Do you really think it was a good idea
to lie to the police?

You know, we had no choice.

We had to stall them till we find the
swords.

Find the swords?

In case you hadn't noticed, we are in a
strange city with no valid B .I.

license, no street snitches, and no
police contacts.

So what do you suggest we do now,
genius?

Simple. Follow Simon and Simon.

No, Marty.

No, I already told you, a daisho is not
a car.

It's a set of swords.

Yes, a set of Japanese swords.

Okay, look, just, if you have anything,
if you hear of anything, let me know,

all right?

Give it up, AJ.

No way those swords are going to get
fenced locally for short money.

You are Simon and Simon?

Ah, yes, sir.

I'm Jonathan Beaumont.

Where the hell are my swords?

Ah, well, sir, that's a long story, but
the gist of it is, and where are

McDowell and Woods?

They were supposed to meet me at the
airport, but they didn't show.

Ah, well, quite frankly, sir, we haven't
seen them since early this morning.

Yeah, I think they probably just turned
tail when the deal went sour, probably

halfway back to New York by now.

I'll deal with them later.

Do you have any leads on the theft?

Well, I mean, you know, nothing really
concrete, but we're working on it.

Is it true, sir, that you bought the
swords locally? I mean, right here in

Diego? That's right, down on Market
Street at a place called the Orange

You have any idea how much is on the
line with those swords? Oh, yes, sir. We

know all about the real estate deal. I
don't think my attorneys will have any

difficulty proving your culpability in
the multimillion -dollar loss I might

suffer. We're staying at the Branson
Towers for two days. If you don't come

with anything by then, get ready for the
biggest lawsuit you ever dreamed of.

I must

admit,

I was somewhat surprised to see you.

I just assumed that a shop like the
Orange Blossom would be owned by an

Oriental. It's a common mistake, Mr.
Simon.

My standard reply is that my heart is
oriental.

You see, I've studied and admired their
cultures for more than 30 years.

Do you remember the set that you sold
Mr. Beaumont?

Indeed I do. One of the finest daisho
ever to pass through my shop.

What can you tell us about the local
market for samurai swords?

Small, Mr. Simon.

Very select group.

My guess would be that stolen swords
like these would be smuggled back to

Let me ask you this, then. If the swords
had been stolen from you, who would you

suspect? From what you've told me about
the thieves, perhaps some radical

Japanese culture group.

There are those who feel we Occidentals
should neither own nor profit from

Oriental artifacts.

And would you include Mr. Sato in that
group?

Oh, I would never accuse him.

It's true, he's something of a crusader
in reacquiring Japanese art from

Americans, but that crusade makes him
one of my very best customers.

What about his assistant, Mr. Nutsall?
What can you tell us about him?

Only that he frightens me.

The most formidable man, I suspect.

Well, thank you very much, Mr. Billings.
You've been very helpful.

Would it be all right if I use your
phone to call the office?

Of course.

Thank you very much.

I, um, I just, I have a few more
questions for you, Mr. Billings, um,

sales clerk.

Hmm. Perhaps you'd care for some more
tea, then. I'd kill for a cup.

Thank you.

took the swords.

Get over to my hotel as soon as
possible.

Rick, let's go.

Beaumont says he's found our man.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Holly learned two new positions, Ricky
Kins.

Wish you wouldn't keep calling me at
work.

Ask her not to do that.

All I'm saying, town, is that when we
got here, McDowell and Woods were

over him. Is that all? Any idiot could
see we just got here ourselves. If we

want any idiot's opinion, we'll call
you. How can somebody tell just by

at you? Okay, that is enough.

A .J., would you mind injecting a note
of sanity into these proceedings?

I would love to.

Beaumont called us, said he had
important information about the theft.

By the time we got here, he wasn't
talking.

And what is your story?

Well, we'd been avoiding Mr. Beaumont
since he arrived.

When we found out that he was going to
stay a couple of days, we decided to

here and face him. The door was ajar, we
came in, and he was like that.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

Mr. Billings is finished with the murder
weapon.

The sword, Lieutenant, is a modern copy
of a 16th century companion sword.

Quite a good copy.

Anything significant about it? Nothing
I'm aware of. Thank you, Mr. Billings.

The department appreciates your help.

I'd like to have a private chat with you
two gentlemen, please.

I got a problem here, guys.

You two don't seem to be able to agree
whether these ladies are suspects or

Now let's have it straight. Do you think
they're capable of this? Woods is.

She is not.

Come on, Rick. Tell the truth.

I suppose if I have to be objective, no,
she didn't do it.

Do me a favor and arrest her anyway.

So, what's your plan?

Well, what about that lawyer in Gorman
City Health Inspector?

Now, on the surface of it, of course,
this is a perfectly lovely

but if you look very closely, you can
see the extent of the damage here. Well,

here, for instance, you can see, and
this over here, you can see right here,

color of the wood at the bottom is
darker than the color of the wood on

course, I don't have to explain what
that means. I do have to explain what

means.

Cockroaches. Awamushi.

Ah, lots of mushi. And over here, as you
can see, the railing is actually loose.

And what, may I ask, is this?

Shirei deshou.

Shirei deshou.

Shirei deshou. You must leave.

No, I wanted to point out one more
thing. You can't get rid of us that

Now, right here, as you can see, we have
a nest.

You know the word nest?

Nesto. It's where they live. It's where
they breed.

Nasty business.

Nasty nesto. Nasty nesto. Yes, indeed.
Hello, gentlemen. How are you? We're

the health inspector's office.

Bugs.

Cockroaches.

Building inspector.

Okay, maybe there's silverfish.

We're from the sheriff's office.

Look, you don't understand. We are
working on a completely different case.

This has nothing to do with your boss.

Please call first if you want an
appointment.

I didn't assign.

I can't do that. It's against the P .I.
code of ethics. Oh, sort of like the

phony journalist ruse they pulled on us?

You know what?

You're jealous.

You're just jealous because they had it
better undercover than we did. Oh, that

is absolutely ridiculous. Do you
honestly think I'm that petty?

Yeah.

I thought you weren't petty.

I lied.

Will you look at that? Really?

Just get rid of these things.

I nailed them, A .J.

Called them cold.

Of course, they had you eating right out
of their hands.

But there was something about Woods that
I spotted as hinky.

I started digging.

You made a few phone calls, Rick.

What is this, your acceptance speech for
the P .I. Hall of Fame?

Jealousy doesn't become you, A .J.

Tracy Park's going to be tracking them
down.

They're slippery.

Rick? Yeah?

Please, let me track them down.

Good work.

Well, it really wasn't that difficult to
find your address, Rick. After all, We

are detectives.

Well, it's just as well. I have some
news.

Forget the big build -up. I already know
what it is.

Oh, you do?

Mm -hmm. It's the place to have a blank
look on your face.

You want us to team up and solve this
paper together?

Uh, not exactly.

What Rick wants to say here... I'll take
care of this.

I called New York.

You were fired from transnational
security.

You stole this job on your way out the
door, and your boss, Mr. Huffman, didn't

exactly give you a glowing
recommendation.

Huffman's a maggot.

Pam, please.

Look, after he became our superior, he
kept trying to give us some hands -on

experience.

Well, we let him know that we just
weren't interested, so we started

him.

Last week, we had a small problem with a
repo. It happens all the time. You've

messed up repos before, haven't you? I
haven't. Rick has.

Anyway, after that happened, they fired
us.

So we thought that all we need to do
would be solve some big assignment and

might be able to get reinstated.

That's it? That's the whole story?

You had nothing to do with the robbery?

Of course not.

Boy, he's dense enough to be a bull
rider.

Yeah? You're forgetting just one little
thing, aren't you?

Woods Oil Company?

What?

Our father's oil equipment business,
Woods Oil Drilling, was repossessed

weeks ago.

Everything goes on the auction block in
nine days unless somebody can come up

with a lot of cash in a hurry.

Pam, is that true?

Why didn't you tell me?

Troubles are meant to stay in the
family.

I was raised that way.

But Pam, we are partners.

We're friends.

And you don't burden your friends with
your troubles.

Pam, I know what you're saying, but you
have to understand how it looks. I mean,

it's circumstantial evidence.

Well, I can't prove that I'm innocent.

All I can do is give you my word.

Hmm.

All right, that's good enough for me.

Next one.

Of course.

And I know better than to ask you.

But I got one question.

Why do you think you're so high and
mighty?

What do you mean?

You're no better than us.

So we stole our assignment.

Is impersonating public officials like
health inspectors legal in this state?

Well, no, it's not.

And we may be out here sullying, but
don't you do that on every case you go

Well, I suppose... And don't you
impersonate eavesdropping wiretap.

Well, Rick Simon looks to me like he'd
just like us.

She's got a point, Rick.

Frankly, I like her idea.

What idea?

I think we ought to pool our resources.

Team up.

Not with her.

Not with him.

We read your home base. Nobody uses that
CB lingo anymore.

Roger on that, Junkpile.

What's your 20?

I just told you... Oh, never mind.

Our 20 is about one mile from the
Carlton Hotel.

What about Sato?

Sato's still inspecting the building.

I think you got enough time, Junkpile.
Come on back.

No. Goodbye.

The most exasperating. How do you work
with that woman? Well, Pam is a very

detective.

You two are so different.

I mean, you, you have so much style.

Well, thanks.

But our differences are superficial,
really.

I mean, I'm from the East, so I speak a
little more formally than she does.

And I've had a little bit more
education, but at bottom, we're really

alike. No.

No, no.

Not to me.

You do much stakeout work back in New
York?

Not weather like this.

It's usually pouring rain or 20 below.

One thing's the same.

I always get hungry when we're on
surveillance.

Well, I'll be glad to buy you lunch
after this.

You like Italian food?

Sure, but what I like better is a chili
cheese dog and a draft beer.

Okay. I sure know where to buy those.

Are you surprised to see Sato taking the
time to check out Beaumont's building?

No. He asked her. He's only got three
days left before his option expires.

I'm sorry about your dad's business,
Pam.

Thanks.

Happening all over the oil patch.

But daddy will do all right.

He always says, if you're going to be a
success in Texas, you got to go broke at

least three times.

Of course, it's not the best time for
his daughter to show up with empty

and no job.

It'll work out.

We're going to solve this case. I give
you my personal guarantee.

I haven't had this much fun on a
stakeout in a long time.

Me too.

There's just one thing that I've got to
say, AJ.

What?

Shouldn't one of us be watching the
building?

Right.

AJ, you want to get on the horn this
time?

You got home base, junk file. Come on
back.

Not funny, AJ.

Getting ready to go in.

We read you loud and clear, junk pile.
Everything here is fine.

It's probably fair. Come on back.

Rick, over here.

The sword was missing.

That's just the one we found sticking in
Beaumont.

Maybe we should call Lieutenant Brown.

Not yet.

Maybe there's a clue in the stolen
swords around here someplace.

A .J.

A .J.

I think we found the mate to the murder
weapon.

right there.

Here's the sword they found. If Sato's
men took Rick and your partner, why

they leave evidence like this behind?

It doesn't make any sense.

Hold it right there!

What is all this, Mr. Simon? Why are you
doing this?

I want some straight answers out of you.

Where's my brother and where's her
partner?

I don't know. Why should I?

Don't play games with me, Sato.

My brother was abducted from this room a
few minutes ago, and I want to know

where he was taken.

I know nothing of this, I swear.

Don't give me that. Wait a minute, wait
a minute.

Can you identify that?

It's an exact mate of the one that
killed Beaumont.

It's not mine. I've never seen it
before.

It just walked here by itself?

I don't know how it got here.

Billings identified it as a modern copy
of a 16th century sword.

Copy?

Why would I want a copy?

These are made for people who cannot
afford an authentic daisho. I have the

largest private collection of swords in
Japan.

Of what use is a set like this?

Please.

I can prove this is a cheap copy.

You will let me remove the hilt.

Why? What for?

To expose the blade end, the tang.

That's where the swordsmith signs his
name and leaves a series of file marks

verify his signature.

Billings never removed the hilt.

He just looked at the sword.

Makes no sense, Mr. Simon.

No expert would evaluate a sword without
checking the tang. That is the first

step.

That makes sense. It makes sense if
Billings already knew about the sword

because he had supplied it to the
killer.

Billings? Yeah, it has to be. I was in
Billings' shop when Beaumont called with

his lead, and by the time we got to the
hotel... Billings already had Beaumont

killed.

Put a little off the top, trim around
the sideburns, you leave the stash alone

or there's no tip.

Yuki, that's enough.

Remarkable, isn't he?

He has studied for many years, Yuki has.

Never been very impressed with fighting
air.

Yuki, Mr. Simon makes a good point.

The true test of the samurai is
individual combat.

In the 17th century, there was a samurai
named Yamato Musashi who won more than

60 contests.

In fact, he became so highly skilled, he
stopped using real blades and began to

fight with wooden swords to make the
contest closer.

I'd be glad to take those odds against
Yuki here.

You give me the blade, I'll give him the
wooden sword.

You tempt my sporting blood, Mr. Simon.

But I think not.

It's a bit dicey.

No, for you, I believe we'll wait until
dark and use the shop van for a little

ride into the desert.

You don't have to do that.

You see, we can't prove anything. We
don't even know anything.

Oh, please, Miss McDowell. You're both
professionals. I'm sure you've figured

out a good deal by now.

Well, I think we know the fun bunch here
acquires some of your best merchandise

for you.

My guess is you send them on little
field -order trips to the Orient.

You're fishing, Mr. Simon, aren't you?

You didn't want Sato to take Beaumont's
swords back to Japan.

They must tie you to a serious crime
there.

Murder, maybe?

Bravo.

Obviously, both of you have studied your
art for many years, too. I congratulate

you. But now I have plans to make. I
want the two of you to get the van ready

for tonight.

Yuki?

Restrained.

There's a good ninja.

What are we going to do now?

Probably the best odds we're ever going
to get.

We gamble.

Big.

Hey, yucky.

You don't think I bought any of that
garbage about you being a great samurai,

you? You got less samurai blood in you
than my Aunt Matilda.

A little more hair, of course.

No, you probably stabbed a few unarmed
men like Beaumont.

Maybe even killed a few little old
ladies in Tokyo in your time.

But I don't think you've ever been
anywhere near a fair fight in your life.

Oh yeah, that reminds me.

I don't care how long you trained.

I've seen better blade work from Benny
on a dropout.

Real pair, Yucky.

Real pair.

Rick, please, come back and sit down.

Ah,

what the hell.

Beach, one -way trip to the desert,
right?

and you shoot this guy, you could have
missed that sword.

I had time to take a second shot.

Besides,

Pam bet me I couldn't do it.

Jeez, I should have known.

Female private investigators smash Far
Eastern theft ring.

What? Here, listen to this.

Lieutenant M .P. Brown praised their
professionalism and deductive skills.

It was so nice of you to make sure we
got all the credit.

We just don't know how to thank you.

I've got some ideas about that.

So do we.

Here.

For me?

Open it. It was Pam's idea.

Kind of a peace offering.

Go on.

what to say.

It was pretty rough on you and I... All
I can say is I'm

sorry and thanks.

Go on. Put it on.

Yeah.

Oops.

I didn't know your size. Your head
looked much bigger.

What's that supposed to mean? You can
take it back, okay?

Take it back.

How was I supposed to know the swelling
had gone down? Pam, don't. Who was the

last guy you shot for, Godzilla?

Let's take it easy, Rick. I should have
known I was dealing with a panhead that

didn't have the cranial capacity of a
dwarf baboon. That's pretty low. Hey,

got enough brain power to save your
keystone lady. You couldn't save Green

Stamps. Can't you stop him? What, stop
him? What are you talking about? She's

the one that started it. I should have
known you would have taken his side. Of

course I'm going to take his side.