All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s06e03 Still Phil After All These Years

Where is she? I promised she'd be here
by now. It was I to know. The temporary

agency swore she was perfect for our
needs. Yo, what temporary agency was

Okay, okay, fine. Next time I'll let you
try and find a qualified female

operative on 24 hours notice.

Five bucks says she shows up here before
you get that monitor working. Yeah,

well, she better.

At least one of us has to go dig up
Mom's time capsule tonight.

You owe me five bucks.

Garvey hit two home runs last night.

Bang. Right center power alley.

386 sign. Gone.

Bang. Left field foul pole.

Out of there. It was wonderful.

You should have heard it. It was
wonderful.

I thought you went to the opera with
Phyllis Treadwell. Yes, I did, but I

my headphones.

Phones, phones.

I'm glad this old building can't talk.
Oh, not me. I'd love to hear every

word it had to say.

Eleanor, you haven't changed in 40
years. Well, a couple of inches in the

waistline, maybe. I can't wait until we
open that time capsule tonight. You

know, Phil had a picture of me taken
when I was homecoming queen, and he put

that in there. I was in a two -piece
bathing suit, and I weighed 97 pounds.

I remember that. Has anyone dug it up
yet? Oh, I have two big, strong

volunteers. Good.

Tom, a little higher on the left.

All of it higher.

Yeah, that's what I always said about
your headline.

A little higher.

Chuck, you devil.

You look terrific.

Well, some things don't change.

Hey, hey, hey.

Chuck.

Chuck Williams.

That's right, Don.

It's me.

Well, damn it, don't you look great.

Who's this little cheerleader you're
making out with?

Oh, no, she's just about the only
cheerleader in our class that I didn't.

mistake.

You still in the muffler business?

Oh. In it?

I should see his commercial.

He's a local celebrity.

They call me the king.

I'll fix your tailpipe any time. No
charge.

Johnny! Hey, Johnny, a little less talk
and a little more work. Chop, chop,

chop, chop. Hey, where's our flake of a
class president, lover boy Gaines? I

sent him an invitation. He never
answered.

Yes, I heard. Somebody saw him in
Seattle, drunker than a skunk, at 10 o

in the morning.

What a way.

You know what I bet he's going to do? I
bet he's going to come in and make a big

flash of a grand entrance. I guarantee
it. He just is style.

Would you hang these up for me, Chuckle?

My memory hasn't failed me.

Cecilia's the authority on that.

I think I have memory failure. I forgot
to pick up my prom dress.

Carry on, Ruth. I'll be right back.

I can't believe people pay good money
for stuff like this.

It's called the Madonna look.

You know, I got a theory about two -way
mirrors.

I don't want to hear this. The Richard
Simon theory of two -way mirrors.

Seeing as how there is a subtle but
noticeable difference between two -way

mirrors and the real thing.

Anyone who disrobes in front of the
ladder, despite any claims to the

is an exhibitionist.

Gee, I hope not.

Well, neat.

Getting a prom dress for a reunion.

Nah.

wait to hear the explanation for this
one well um go ahead i'll go on

yeah give her richard simon's theory of
two -way mirrors uh you wouldn't be

interested mom uh just suffice it to say
that we're on a very dangerous uh

undercover assignment this place has
been losing a ton of money to

oh of course very dangerous you sit here
all day and watch women get undressed

yeah

Well, we had an operative of the female
persuasion hired, but she didn't show

up. Clearly a woman of taste and
distinction. She left all the dirty work

Speaking of work, I have some for you.

Don't worry, Mom.

We're going to dig up the time capsule
this evening.

No, it's something else. I want you to
find a missing person.

One of my classmates.

His name's Phil Gaines, and he was the
only one who didn't answer the

invitation. Maybe he's dead.

Optimist? I don't think so.

He was our class president. He played
football and wrote poetry, and he was

and uninhibited.

And underneath it all, so sensitive, he
suffered more than anyone I've ever

known.

We used to date.

We've got a strike.

All right, I'll take care of this. You
just make sure you get everything I'll

take. Rick, be careful. She's bigger
than you are.

Please.

All right, lady, let's go.

That's right.

Smacked my rent -a -car right here in
the Salt Lake City Airport. Banger up

pretty good, too.

I tell you, you know, the next time I'm
going to initial that little box that

says I take the insurance, you know?

Well, I would have gotten more details,
except I didn't want to miss my flight.

Oh, gains.

G -A -I -N -E -S, Philip. Now, I mean,
he said he was going to pay for it, but

you know how people are. I just want to
call him up and give him a little prod.

Oh, that's just wonderful. I do
appreciate it. You got my number?

All right.

Bye -bye.

That takes care of Utah.

Try Vermont.

You know, it's funny. I have a hard time
imagining Mom dating anyone before Dad.

I hate to break this to you, A .J., but
Mom didn't grow up in a convent. I know

that. Would you like to hear the Richard
Simon theory of premarital monkey

business in the 1940s? No. Try Vermont.

Try Vermont.

Surely.

Oh, the sea.

No, no, Shirley Graham. I guess you must
have missed my last marriage.

Who's who both times, and neither one of
them made it past 50.

Oh, my goodness. What a lovely little
place you have here.

Shirley. Shirley.

Graham, yes.

I'd like you to meet my boys, Rick and
AJ. Oh, how very nice to meet you. Let

guess. Let me guess. Don't tell me.

You must be the famous brain surgeon,
and that would make you the award

architect.

I never would.

You're thinking of Mildred Larson's boy,
the Rick and A .J. of private

detectives.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh, now, isn't that just like you? You
know, your mother used to be what we

to call a tease, and I can see she has
not changed.

Well, memory lane's been real
interesting here, Mom, but duty calls.

dig up your time capsule, and then I
really have to get back to the lab.

Gene splicing, it's a very significant
movement. It's going to change the whole

future of human reproduction as we know
it.

Mom will tell you all about it.

Okay, we're under the gymnasium. Now
what?

Looking for a broken down brick wall.

Who says?

Mom says.

Ta -da.

You know, I've been thinking about
credit cards.

Oh, no. Is this going to be another
theory?

No, it's just since that guy took mine
away, I feel like a free man again.

Not in bondage to temptation.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have just
heard the Richard Simon theory of

bondage.

Looks like somebody was here ahead of
us.

Yeah, somebody even lazier than you are.

Let's get to it.

It's been so long since I died of a hot
pill, I don't hardly remember.

I might prefer it that way.

For a moment, I was afraid you were
going to tell me you missed plunging

and being shot at. Ah, yeah, the good
old days.

That's all right.

Is that off? Yes, that's off. This one
is off. Can I have some help from the

younger generation, please?

This is so exciting.

There's a picture of me in there.

I only weighed 97 pounds.

I don't remember that.

The Mission Valley Eagle.

Well, the Lions win city championship.

Yay!

I told you we were something.

I guess we all know who put that in
there.

As I remember, Bill Gaines was a self
-appointed committee of one in charge of

directing what went into this little
piece of history.

Oh, yeah, and look, here's one of his
little jokes. What is it?

Well, it's a badge, it looks like to me.
It's a police badge.

Let's see here.

Justicia Proteccion.

It's Mexican.

Dime store issued by no Phil.

What's that, another toy?

For a baby Rambo, maybe this thing's
real.

Oh, well, Phil's idea of fun was always
a little twisted.

Ah, so was Phil.

I don't think it's fair to talk about
him like that when he isn't here to

explain. What's to explain?

He's loaded up the capsule with a lot of
little goodies to spoil the reunion.

And then he doesn't even show up.

Now, wait a minute.

You haven't the slightest idea what his
reasons were.

Oh, now, don't tell me he never did you
any dirt, Cecilia. I resent that.

Sorry. Sorry.

I was out of line.

Let's see what else is in it. I'm sorry.

Let's not touch it.

This is a little more serious than a
joke. The badge, the gun, and the time

capsule. We're all going to the police.

I'm sure they've already got one of you.
Excuse me.

Oh, this is just too awful.

Hey, hey, hey, everybody.

Happy 40th reunion.

Well, you're right about the badge.

Mexican issue.

Forty, maybe fifty years old.

I'm going to have to contact the Mexican
consulate, see if I can find out where

it's from.

And I've seen these on Federalia.

You found it where?

Under the gym in Mom's old high school.

Put there by the class president when I
graduated.

Check the load, you'll see it's been
fired once.

Point is, town, if the gun belonged to
the man behind the badge, it would be

pretty difficult to get them both
without doing a lot of bodily harm.

That's the truth.

Couldn't get mine without killing me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

Well, you did.

Cecilia, you look absolutely wonderful.

And you're still making dramatic
entrances, which at our age isn't

appropriate.

I just wanted to make sure you were
alone.

The idea of seeing everybody, especially
you, has been difficult.

Why, Phil?

What happened?

Where have you been?

Well, I ran away.

Joined the army.

I wanted some adventure. See the world.

Learn a skill.

Well, what did I know? I was only 17.

What difference does it make?

You ended up with Jack, and he certainly
is a better man than I ever was.

Did you put the badge and the gun in our
time capsule?

I bought them in Tijuana graduation
week. I thought, well, in 40 years, if

of us were still alive, it'd be a great
big gag.

Well, of course, it's stupid.

But consider the source.

Phil, please.

I tried digging it up tonight, but two
guys, they beat me to it. Those guys are

my sons.

Oh, Lord, don't tell me.

They're private investigators, and when
you didn't answer the invitation, I had

them look for you.

Cecilia, my life hasn't been exactly...
exactly

successful.

This is a big house.

There are a lot of empty rooms now.

You'll need a place to stay.

Ah, just in time.

We need waiters.

Waiters? Hey, hey, hey.

I didn't know you boys were detectives.

Well, I thought about the glamorous fact
that we try to keep well hidden.

I'll bet.

I'm glad your mama mentioned it, because
I got a job I'm afraid to give to just

anyone. You know what I mean?

You get the general idea.

See, I got 26 shops around the state.

And it's hard to keep your eye on every
one of them.

Sometimes the people you trust turn out
to be dirty, filthy crooks. That's a

quality not unique to the muffler trade.

Yeah, well, anyway, somebody's been
trying to skim off some of my cream.

My bookkeeper thinks it's a shop just
outside of town run by a couple of

rednecks who figure that they invented
the franchise.

Yeah, well, it sounds to me like what
you need is a comprehensive undercover

entrapment operation.

Uh -huh. Yes, you do. Rick will fill you
in on our fee -scheduling procedures.

I'll see you all later. What was that?

We call it Q. It's a comprehensive
undercover entrapment operation.

Q. Well, it's turned out everybody here
but one.

That's right.

All except the one guy who could have
explained it.

Fiasco last night.

I'm curious. I've heard so many stories
about Phil Gaines. What was he really

like? Well, if you ask me, I'd say he
had more charm than anybody else in the

whole school.

Especially in the backseat of a
Roadster.

Well, I don't know why in the world
you're complaining about his car. After

he made all those tequila runs to Mexico
for you boys on the football team.

Hey, Jack, you really want to know about
the legendary Phil Gaines?

I suggest you ask your mother, after all
she was engaged to in the last half of

our senior year.

Did you know that she was engaged to
him?

AJ, you're getting to be like a broker
and record on this subject.

You're not going to light that thing up,
are you?

Don't you know what that does to your
lungs, what it makes this upholstery

like? My lungs, my upholstery.

It's a disgusting habit.

AJ, would you just please get some sleep
tonight?

He's here.

I know Gaines is here.

Right. He's here.

If only nobody's seen him.

It's because he has the power to cloud
men's minds.

Nobody has seen him because he's hiding.

Figure it out for yourself, Rick.

Only one person doesn't show up for the
reunion.

Why? Because he knows what's in that
time capsule.

Evidence of a crime that happened 40
years ago. AJ, we turn that stuff over

Brown's police matter now.

You know what I think? I think you're
going to tell me what you think.

I think Gaines came back to dig up the
time caps.

And I think we interrupted him.

We scared him off.

Otherwise, why wouldn't he have finished
the job?

I have no answer for that.

Neither do I.

And that's why I know he's here.

Come on, everybody gives cash customers
a break.

Sir, this is your estimate.

Job's going to cost more. I'll call you
before I do the work.

Bob, buddy, we're talking money up front
here.

I don't need an estimate. I need a new
muffler.

I'm not going to write this off, so I
also don't need a receipt.

Bob.

A little bit.

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back it up.

Good.

Whoa, that's it.

Gary, take it up.

You need a new muffler. You need a new
truck. Yeah, well.

No, stay there.

Crank it up.

Okay.

All right,

gun it.

You want me to replace this while I'm at
it?

What are you, nuts?

I don't need anybody coming around here
trying to find me with my hands in the

till.

How much is Brighton paying you for
this?

Who the hell is Brighton?

Get him!

All right, first we got the mirror.

47 -50. Then we got the front headlight
up here, including lens, water seal, and

bulb. That's another 75 -94.

Guys, guys, look, I'm sorry. Look, I'll
handle it myself because... Well, the

fact is, it's my fault.

I sent you to the wrong franchise.

My accountant now tells me that the
creep who's skimming us is up in

Sacramento?

So the quicker you boys boogie up there
and catch that lousy crook, why... We've

decided.

that there is no longer any corporate
advantage to comprehensive undercover

entrapment.

What he means is that we only accept
about one of these cases a week.

And what he means is we're not going all
the way to Sacramento just to get our

heads busted with the Crescent Wrench.
Well, look, I'd be glad to throw in a

little bonus if you boys get on this
right away.

The answer is no.

The answer is maybe.

Oh, hey.

Did the police go through our time
capsule yet?

I don't know. Why?

Well, Phil put a picture of me in there
naked as a jaybird.

Oh, well, if that's embarrassing for
you, I'm sure Lieutenant Brown will let

have it.

Who's embarrassed?

I just wanted to have some photocopies
made and have some coasters made for the

prom.

You're a sick person, Doc.

and down to work, we won't be able to
afford a phone.

Hello, Simon and Simon Investigations.

Yes.

Okay.

Thank you.

That was the VA with Phil Gaines'
records.

He was discharged from the Army in 1947.

Six months after he enlisted.

Since that time, he has been treated at
various VA hospitals all over the

country for depression, alcoholism, a
variety of psychiatric disorders. I told

you, Rick, this guy is a psycho.

AJ, what's gotten into your skin?

A 40 -year -old crime or the fact that
there was somebody in Mom's life before

Dad?

You can ignore this if you want.

I think Mom deserves a fair warning.

He thinks he's gone.

His car's in the shop.

I'm driving.

There's absolutely positively no way in
a hundred years I would believe that.

You don't have any proof of any of this.

And I can see the way your brother is
sitting there. He's not so sure you're

right either.

There are facts, Mom.

The gun is a fact.

The badge is a fact.

The man spent time in and out of
psychiatric hospitals all over the

that is a fact.

Rick, I'd like to know how you feel
about all this.

I think what A .J.'s trying to say, Mom,
is just be cautious the next few days.

That's no answer.

No, it isn't.

No,

I don't think it's as serious as he
does.

See? The whole thing's ridiculous.

No, it's not.

I'm sorry, Cece. It's not.

I'm gonna take a flying guess and say
this is Mr. Gaines.

He came to see me last night after he
avoided the reunion for personal

I'd sure like to know what those were.

Stop it, A .J. I came back to dig up the
time capsule.

I wanted to hide something.

But I muffed it up just like I have
everything else in my life.

I didn't want to leave without seeing
your mother, though.

Phil, you don't have to say any.

Cecilia, I killed a man.

I was 17 years old. I was drunk and
scared.

I've paid for it every day of my life
since.

I was on a booze run to fuel up for the
graduation parties.

I was so stooped, I hardly knew what I
was doing.

Next thing I knew, somebody was yelling
that I stole a case of tequila and the

police were coming.

For some reason, I still can't explain,
I tore off his badge and I crushed it

till my palm bled.

And my mind was reeling with visions of
a Mexican prison.

My parents, the girl I loved.

So I crawled to my feet, I got to my car
and I ran away from there in shame.

All these years and ever since, I've
continued to live with that shame.

And you're saying that the .45 was not
the policeman's gun?

No, it was mine.

I used to keep it under the front seat
of my car.

That's why you went away like that?

Right after graduation?

Yes.

If you were trying to hide it, why did
you put the badge and the gun in the

capsule?

To appease my conscience.

I didn't have the courage to face up to
it then, and I don't have the courage to

face up to it now. So I came back to dig
up the pistol and the badge before

anybody else got a chance to see them.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines, but there is no
statute of limitations on murder.

What do you mean, release him?

You know how many unsolicited
confessions we get in here every day

Fruit and Nut Brigade?

People claim they've burned everybody
from Madonna to Lassie, and they all

it. But town, this is different.

How, AJ? You told me yourself the guy
had a vacancy upstairs.

Well, can't you at least hold him until
you hear back from the authorities in

Baja?

Sure, for two, three weeks.

Come on, guys, I'm not kissing this one
off.

We're talking about the death of a
fellow police officer here.

You can believe I'm taking that very
seriously.

You have to consider the possibility
that Towne's right.

He's wrong.

A .J., have you been sneaking off those
open -mindedness classes behind my back

again? Look, I'll make you a deal. Oh,
no.

You help me do a real professional
investigation.

And if we can't put together enough to
convict Phil, or if Towne doesn't hang

him first, I'll drop it.

Amen and hallelujah.

But if we do find evidence that he
killed a Mexican cop...

We bury him five miles deep with his
head between his legs.

Mom's not going to like that part.

Well, got one of the football team, one
of the Halloween ball, some mildly

risque shots of cheerleaders practicing
high kicks.

Well, as Mom knows.

Hey, careful. You're going to blow away
all my hard work here.

What have we got?

Being of marginal mind and great body,
do hereby bequeath my class... This is a

class will, Rick.

Written by our friend Mr. Gaines.

Um... Aha!

He mentions the gun and the badge.

My legacy to my classmates... is the
truth.

Something, something, something.

Night in Mexico with my friends.

Something.

Shun.

Graduation.

It's his confession, AJ.

Of course, he left out a couple of
details when he told us about it.

Like the fact that he wasn't down there
alone.

Internal revenue service.

I've got the place surrounded.

It's in the mail.

Rick, go buy yourself some breakfast. I
want a word with your brother.

Uh -oh.

I'll just be out on the porch.

I asked you to find an old friend as a
favor to me.

He was someone I wanted to see very
much.

Yet somewhere along the line, you
decided to become moral arbiter of

my affairs, past and present, and I'm
here to tell you to butt out of that

role.

I apologize.

I don't know what's been wrong with me.

Do you feel like I'm being unfaithful to
your father?

It's really none of my damn business, is
it?

I want you to know this.

I loved Phil because he was a wonderful
person.

And I happen to think he still is.

And what we had together was very, very
special.

We learned some stuff, some new stuff
last night that may cast some doubt on

confession. At least, you know, how he
explained it to us.

Oh, honey, I'd be forever grateful to
you if you could find out what happened.

What really happened.

Even if it's something I don't want to
hear.

I can handle it if you can.

I'm a tough cookie, kid.

I'll say.

It's in the genes.

You're the authority on Mexico. What was
the name of that place again?

San Cristobal Del Rio.

You know what I say?

I say three cheers for our buddy
Lieutenant Brown.

Don't get carried away.

Come on, Rick. He saved us a good week's
work coming up with the name of the

town. Yeah.

I can't believe how cooperative they
were.

Cops love me, A .J.

Doesn't make any difference what country
we're in.

He just sensed Rick Simon as a man of
integrity and honor.

Fooled another one.

That's me.

What would you gentlemen like?

Oh.

Well,

we wanted to talk to you about your
former partner, Luis Ortega.

The man who was shot?

So long ago.

Come, sit.

I will tell you the whole story.

I was young then.

Strong.

Not as strong as Luis.

But then, who was?

I heard the shot.

I

asked him,

mi amigo, quien?

Quien? All he could say was, yes he
says.

Yes he says.

was not enough to lead us to those men.

Jesse says 16, right?

Let's see.

What would that be?

The number of guys.

Bill was 16, 17 years old then.

All right, seems a little slow.

You guys want to come with us?

Someplace a little quieter?

We think we can prove that Bill Gaines
is guilty.

We can't prove it without your help.

What's this all about?

Phil.

Hi, Don.

Hey, hey, hey. You hope to lose?

Chuck.

How you doing?

Hey, Phil.

Phil, why don't you tell these guys what
you told us over at Mom's?

June 10th, 1946.

I went over the border to pick up
supplies for the graduation parties.

Tequila.

But you weren't alone, like you said.

I took some friends with you.

Hey, hey, hey!

You killed him.

You crazy fool, you killed him.

I didn't mean to.

I didn't mean to.

Come on, let's get the hell out of here.

Damn it, Phil, another cop's coming.

¿Quién, mi amigo?

¿Quién?

Dieciséis.

Dieciséis.

Number sixteen.

That'd be you, Mr. Mufflerkin.

But you were all guilty.

You all knew it.

So you swore yourselves to secrecy.

Only Phil's conscience couldn't handle
that.

So he buried evidence in the time
capsule.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Bad dreams.

If you knew all this would be exposed,
why did you come back?

I wanted to end it, Chuck.

I figured that the man was dead.

He was dead a long, long time.

But you didn't even pull the trigger.

That's true.

But we were all guilty.

The difference being, well, you had a
business, and Chuck had a wife and

children, and I didn't have anything
worth keeping.

My life was already ruined.

Why ruin yours?

It's just one other part of the story
that you should all know.

The policeman didn't die.

What?

Not from that gunshot wound, anyway.

Took a drunken driver to kill him.

July of last year.

make me feel one bit different.

What's going to happen now?

There are no charges, not from me or
from Mexico.

You're free to go.

If you ever need a job,

anything, let me know.

Sure.

They say that... There's a bus out of
here just about every 15 minutes or so.

Well, in that case, the big rush.

Ma 'am, we've got a gentleman caller.

May I?

so fly

Say one thing for your friends, Mom.

They're not boring.

Bill, get off, okay?

Well, he's decided to stick around for a
while. His Uncle Bill owns a hardware

store, and he's looking for someone to
take over when he retires.

I hope everything works out well for
him.

I hope so, too.

But you know what the nicest thing about
the reunion was for me?

You, too.

Knowing after all these years that I
have something very special to show for

life.

You made me very proud.

I may fail, Buster, but I'm not
forgetting what you

did. What I did? You put a right cross
on me, gave me a headache for three

You testify against me, I'll give you a
headache for life, you little wimp.

I'll say one thing about my sons.

They aren't boring.