All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s05e24 The Apple Doesnt Fall Far from the Tree

Yes, I'm Elizabeth Charles. I have a
reservation.

Ah, yes, from Samson. So, if you would
just check this information and then

sign.

Excuse me, if I leave my bag with you,
will the bellman bring it to my room,

please? Oh, of course. Thank you.

just looking for a little time off.

I mean, after a few months working with
Sam Penny, she probably needs it. Yeah.

Sam's been blighty, consulting Griff
Gatlin -Yard. You know, with that now

-do -I -do tone in her voice, she needs
help, A .J., and I'm telling you right

up front, I don't like it. We got enough
to do without carrying an extra

passenger.

Drive the car! Hi, Elizabeth.

Drive the car!

So, cousin, you here on business or
pleasure?

This is what they're after.

Aunt Ramona's family journal.

Aunt Ramona?

Mm -hmm.

Was she the one who was engaged to Ward
Bond?

No, no, that's Mom's cousin from Pomona.
Aunt Ramona is the one that Grandma

used to clam up about every time the
kids came into the kitchen.

Oh, yeah. You mean, uh, I don't care how
rich that hussy is, she ceased to exist

for me the day she left Cousin Abbott
before the circus felt like children

wouldn't you like some chocolate chip
cookies?

That's the one.

Aunt Ramona used to keep the family
journal, and then when she died, it went

Wilbur and Orville Simon.

Wilbur and Orville, the shoe salesmen
from Buffalo.

Right. You never outgrow your feet at
Simon Brothers Shoes, Wilbur and

That's right.

Elizabeth, you didn't. Well, they sent
me the journal so that I could prove

their claim to an inheritance. I mean,
it seems simple enough.

We turned them down over a month ago.
Didn't we ever tell you never work for

your family?

No, you didn't. Never work for your
family, especially not when it's two

who were born the same year the Wright
brothers flew at Kitty Hawk.

Mom says Wilbur hasn't been the same
since he swallowed some bad bathtub gin

1928. Look, all I have to do is prove
that they're related to a man named

Danvers who died in Florida last year.

Is that all?

Yeah. And then if I do, they can get a
nice condo down there.

Elizabeth.

Wilbur and Orville have some vague,
obliterated notion of having somewhere,

sometime, somehow, having heard of some
unknown relative named Danvers.

Yeah. Danvers isn't in the journal.

Then why is somebody trying to steal it?

I think it had something to do with the
World Genealogical Society in Los

Angeles. See, I hired them to help me.

And then when they started getting too
expensive, I fired them. That's when the

trouble started.

Uh -huh.

And you're sure it has to do with the
book?

A few days ago, there was a burglary in
my apartment, and then someone tried to

snatch it on the street, and I was
obviously followed down here.

Elizabeth, what could possibly be in
that book that would make it worth

stealing?

Well, seems we had a great uncle who was
somehow mysteriously involved in the

Louisiana purchase.

Of course, I can't tell from this
whether he's buying or selling.

Well, I was going to ask you two to go
undercover at the Genealogical Society

help me figure it out. But we've been
seen.

Right. We need a fresh face.

What's going on? Mr. Sturzenacker just
drew a royal flush.

I'm sorry?

We discovered that Dad's family has a
14th century connection to King Waldemar

of Scandinavia.

Mom and the kids want him to claim the
throne of Denmark.

Oh, you never know what kind of
skeletons you'll find once you start

those roots.

Yeah, well, I'm here digging for gold
myself.

and compete for cash prizes. Go out on a
limb with your ancestors and win big

bucks.

First to the top of your tree wins $10
,000 and the camper trailer of your

choice. Your society will get a cut if I
win, say, oh, 10%. Okay, make it 20%.

You drive a hard bargain.

I don't know anything about this.

And neither does anyone else. You see, I
run the print shop where these entry

forms were copied.

And we don't have much time.

Every minute counts, Mr...

Scott. Yeah.

Nolan Scott.

Uh, very well, uh, what's your last
name?

Brown. Brown.

M .P. Brown, San Diego.

There are a lot of Browns.

Oh, yeah. Big family.

Big, big family.

Big, big. This could turn out to be
quite a project.

Why don't you give me a few hints and
see if we can't narrow it down a little?

Oh, we have cousins and aunts and uncles
all over the place.

They're the Cleveland Browns, of course.

And there used to be some Browns in St.
Louis, but they moved.

Orville?

Orville, can I talk to Wilbur?

Where is Wilbur?

When does he get back from jogging?

All right, look, just tell him that we
are on the case with Elizabeth.

Can't talk to Orville after 3 o 'clock.
He's probably been hitting the

roundhouse cider again.

All I know about these guys is that
every year we used to get a Christmas

in the shape of a boot with a shoelace
taped inside.

One shoelace.

Took you two years to tie your shoes.

The last time Orville and Wilbur were
out here was for our wedding.

They took a bus the whole way. They're
afraid of flying.

I hope town's having some luck because
we're getting nowhere fast here.

Well, that would be Uncle Abe.

Yeah, he was an inventor. The second man
to invent the telephone.

And then there was Aunt Mahalia. Yeah,
she was a pioneer flyer. In her last

flight, she broke the air speed record
from Anchorage to Mount McKinley.

I was told we had a cousin at the Alamo,
but nobody remembers him.

Why don't I start you off with some
reference books?

I'll go back to the stacks and get them.
Thanks, I'll wait.

Boy, this is interesting.

Did you know that one of our ancestors
was a pioneer land -grant homesteader

back in the 1800s? Where?

Dakota Territory.

Hanged. Blackwater Falls.

December 17, 1871.

For cattle rustling and adultery.

That's your side of the family popping
up again?

Not the kind of information worth
stealing a book for.

What is this key without a door?

Is that some kind of antiquated phrase?
Because that's the second time I've run

into it. Let me see.

Yeah, here it is.

Let's see.

Private Pierce Simon, Camp 7th Cavalry
in the Montana

Territory along the Rosebud River under
the command of Colonel Custer.

I learned of the key without a door from
old Uncle Wayne in Boston,

Massachusetts.

Gotta go now. Just spotted two Sioux.

No, make that... He never finished it.

A key without a door.

It sounds like a riddle. I saw that in
the revolutionary section, but they

said what it was.

Well, you know, I mean, a key without a
door.

That's, uh, well, you know, it's an
entrance to something that's locked.

How can you lock an entrance without a
door?

A key without a door.

A key without a door.

A key without a door.

I

thought I told

you never to come here.

Did you get it? No, no, we didn't. She
had help. Two guys from San Diego.

Probably her two cousins.

San Diego?

I think you'll find much about the Brown
clan in there.

All right, guys, hold it.

I'm with the San Diego Police
Department.

I want to ask you a few questions.

Where's your warrant?

Yeah. Look, uh...

I can get back to you on that, or
perhaps just call you on the phone. You

probably want this.

Nothing to worry about.

Just a little accident. I'm sorry about
the disturbance.

We'll have it cleared up in no time.

Thank you.

He took the letter.

That, the Simon family journal, is all
they'll need.

Need for what?

What's so important about this Simon
journal anyway?

Nothing special.

Except it means we can retire as rich
men.

We can get out of this whole racket.

Book is the key.

Key without a door.

So, Scott touts himself as a famous
consultant, experienced in Burke's

from London, and society puts him on a
retainer. The problem is, his

don't exactly check out.

Fraud. Maybe.

Burke's never heard of him.

Here's a copy, Lieutenant.

Thanks.

I found this letter from the 1700s in
the Simon file. It was written to a

named Marguerite Danvers.

Oh, no one in the genealogical society
ever showed this to me.

Was this written by a Simon?

Yeah, a Benedict Simon. Benedict Simon,
right. He was in the book.

He lived in Boston during the
Revolutionary War with his brother

Oh, my God.

I dare not face your father, sweet
Marguerite, for I know he thinks me a

scoundrel and a wastrel. Well, it's
Simon.

But my love for you is true, and I wish
you'd come away with me.

As for money, we have no worry, for the
family secret has been passed to me.

The secret of the key without a door.

Where to find the lost treasure of the
Simons.

Please listen to me.

We think there may have been a marriage
between Benedict Simon

and Marguerite Danvers.

I can't congratulate them, Wilbur,
because they're dead.

Uh... No, Wil... Wilbur... Wilbur,
please don't cry.

Um... What I meant, what I was really
trying to say was that they're dying to

hear from you.

Yes, we'll call you from Boston.

Boston!

Bye -bye.

Wilbur is not any better than Orville.

How long is he going to be gone?

Just as long as it takes to find the
Simon family fortune.

All ties together, A .J. Come on, this
secret has been passed down from

generation to generation.

If old Wayne Simon told his young nephew
about the key without a door, that

means Benedict didn't find it. Maybe
somebody else did.

And maybe they didn't look. We're the
first detectives in the family tree.

If we find out there's a marriage
between Benedict Simon and this Danvers

we're probably going to find a clue as
to where he went looking for the

treasure. And we just track him like we
track anybody else.

Benedict's trail may be a little cold.

Oh, what's a couple of hundred years?
We'll find a clue.

I think it's wonderful.

I hope Orville and Wilbur get the condo,
and I hope you find the treasure. But

even if you don't, you'll have a chance
to learn about your roots.

It's almost like you're working for the
whole family.

I wish I were going along.

Well, why don't you go?

No, no, no.

We're not the only ones involved in this
treasure hunt.

Might get dangerous, Sam. Tom's checking
out this consultant for the

Genealogical Society. We can't prove
anything against him yet.

You're going to have to man the home
front. Take real good care of Marlowe.

They're printing out crunchy niblets in
the cupboard there.

Mom, don't tell Orville and Wilbur how
to reach us.

Suitcase. They're leaving town.

I told you.

They made a connection to this Benedict,
Simon.

I bet they're flying east.

Find out where. Book us in first class.
Those three are obviously first class

passengers. They'll never see us. Right.

Wayne Simon home.

Come

on,

Birdman. We need it now.

Excuse us.

Excuse us.

We're looking for information about
Benedict Simon, Wayne Simon's brother.

Lady, you just turned off the Boston
Celtics. My name is Ms. Charles.

Ms. Charles, you just turned off the
Boston Celtics.

Welcome to the restored home of Wayne
Simon, revolutionary war hero who

the immortal phrase, give me liberty or
give me death.

Patrick Henry said that.

Well, Wayne Simon said something very
similar. All those guys were saying

much the same things.

Okay. My name is A .J. Simon.

This is Rick Simon. This is our cousin,
Elizabeth.

My goodness, if I'd known the family
reunion was scheduled, I wouldn't have

booked the Korean tour group.

All right, we're looking for
biographical information on Benedict

journals, anything like that.

All I got is this.

What is it? The fun -filled walking
cassette tour of the historic Wayne

home. Is this gonna tell us about Wayne
and Benedict Simon?

Beats me. I've never listened to it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Welcome. The tour begins in the drawing
room.

To your right.

A walking cassette tour is not gonna
tell us what we need to know.

Gonna be harder than we thought.

Ah, come on, you guys. You've done this
a thousand times before.

You even did it in an empty room once.

There are clues here. It's just an
exercise in deduction.

We've just got to be able to see it
through their eyes.

Whose eyes?

Their eyes.

Wayne and Benedict.

Hit the tape.

You are standing at the crossroads of
history.

Here in Boston, a small group of men
changed the course of human events and

forged a new nation.

One of those men was Wayne Simon, a
publisher known throughout the colonies

his extraordinary penmanship, a most
important skill of his time.

Along with his brother, the radical
known as Mad Benedict Simon,

Wayne took part in a dramatic prelude to
the nation's destiny on a fateful night

in 1775 when he uttered the famous cry,
The British are coming. The British are

coming. The British are coming to
dinner.

I want this place cleaned up
immediately.

Redcoats in this house.

A little socializing never hurt a
political cause, Benedict. Remember,

above treason.

Another of your pithy quotes. Ben
Franklin is probably quaking in his

envy. This is exactly the attitude that
cost you a seat in the next Continental

Congress.

I'm sorry, Wayne.

You deserved it, of course.

It's no matter.

Hancock and Adams are good men.

They're letting me come along as an
alternate.

Most of the men voted for you.

If women could vote, you'd be in.

You did place a close third, a terribly
close third.

One puny vote.

So, who else is joining us this evening?

You did vote for me, did you not,
brother?

How can you even ask me that?

After all, I let you pitch your tent in
my backyard.

I let you drink my grog.

I feed your lazy, good -for -nothing
horse.

And you didn't even vote for me?

Paul, welcome.

Come in. Have a grog. I can't stay.

The British are coming.

I know. They'll be here any minute.

You already know?

We received word that General Gage's
army is moving on Lexington and Concord.

They want to arrest Sam Adams and John
Hancock. I need a really good steed, one

fearless and fleet of foot. Take Wayne's
horse.

No, I have a far better idea. John
Larkin's horse is far more fearless and

of foot than mine.

Yes, I'll try Larkin. I really better
go. No, no, no. Stay and have a grog.

could one little grog hurt? It's hardly
midnight here. You can have it in the

silver tankard that you made for us.

Have I told you, by the way, what good
work this is? Look, I'm sorry. I really

have to go.

Can you do one thing for me? Certainly.

Tell Newman to signal the boys in
Charlestown as soon as we know the

plans. They'll be watching the old North
Church tower.

Hang two lanterns if they come by sea,
one if by land.

Two if by land? No, no, no, no.

One if by land.

One if by land, two if by...

Sea. Two if by sea. One if by land, two
if by sea. I don't know, Paul. What

about one if by day, two if by night? I
mean, time's important here, too. Then

you could have three if on horseback,
four if by foot. Look, it's all set.

tell Newman, and Newman will handle it.

It's your show.

Two if by land, one if by sea. One if by
land, two if by sea.

The British are coming! The British are
coming!

The British are coming! The British are
coming!

I demand some answers here.

Who bought this bell?

Why is it cracking already?

Who is covering up?

We will continue this debate after tea
time.

I think we're all out of tea, Mr.
Chairman, after Boston Harbor.

Fine. Coco, then.

It's Coco time.

And in support of this declaration, with
a firm reliance on the protection of

divine providence, we mutually pledge to
each other...

Something. I haven't come up with it
yet.

We mutually pledge to each other a lot
of gold.

A lot of guns.

Our lives, our fortunes.

Franklin, get your head in the game
here, okay?

Okay, what did I just say, Tom? We
mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes.

like that, John. Our sacred honor.

Wayne, why don't you skip out and get us
some crumpets? I'm famished.

Think about that last line some more,
Wayne.

Thanks, kid.

We'll have lunch.

We mutually pledge to each other.

Our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred
honor.

I like that bed.

I thought you would, John.

Wayne? Mother, what are you doing here?
Wayne, you have some influence. You must

talk to them about the flag.

Mother, we're trying to draft a
declaration of independence in there.

can come later. I was just over with
Betsy Ross, and your brother walked in

that General Washington. I just happened
to mention to the General that I have

an old girlfriend who has this rather
odd habit of making flags.

And he marches in with a design he
thought of himself.

Imagine the ego.

Mother, he is the commander of the
entire Continental Army.

He has no color coordination.

Red, white, and blue. Can you believe
it? Those are the colors of the British

flag. I mean, who are we fighting here?

And stars and stripes. Can you imagine
writing a song about stars and stripes

and red, white, and blue?

Besides, stripes make you look fat.

Mother, I'm sure everything will turn
out just fine.

And I feel confident that you'll be very
pleased with the Declaration of

Independence. No more reason about
treason?

As a matter of fact, I'm playing around
with a new phrase. Try this on for size.

We hold these truths to be self
-evident.

That all men are created equal.

That they are endowed by their creator
with certain inalienable rights.

That among these are life, liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness.

I'm sorry, Simon. There just isn't
enough room.

If Hancock hadn't taken up half the
page... Don't worry about it, kid. I

big plans for you.

Thank you for visiting the Wayne Simon
home.

Souvenirs, keychains, and T -shirts are
available.

Couldn't possibly be true.

Why not?

It happened exactly that way. No Simon
would ever have invited the British to

dinner. Okay, all right, wait a minute.

Isn't there anything in this that could
be construed as a clue?

Nothing about Marguerite Danvers.

A key without a door.

So this is the dead end?

What kind of a clue is going to last for
200 years?

Something worth saving.

Family secrets worth saving.

You can bet Benedict and Wayne here saw
to it that it was well preserved.

So what are we looking for then?
Treasure map?

Paul Revere was a silversmith, right?

It's right on the tape that he used to
do special pieces for Wayne and

What does this look like to you?

Looks like it's supposed to be Florida.

And this?

Isn't that Pirate's Key?

The Simon family have lived there for
generations.

That's right. We used to go visit
Grandma and Grandpa there all the time.

My old house is practically right on top
of this.

Pirate's Key.

It's a key without a door.

The Celtics now will get their
opportunity with 14 seconds left to

ball is in to Danny Ainge. Ainge gives
it to Dennis.

Thank you.

Do you have a public phone around here?

Right up front.

That's 375 for the tour. A piece?

375. I'm going to go call Wilbur and
Orville, give them an update, unless

like the honor. No, no, no.

You can have that pleasure.

All right, you got enough change? They
don't accept collect calls.

Okay.

Wilbur?

Hi, it's Elizabeth.

I'm in Boston.

Elizabeth, your cousin from sec... Never
mind.

Listen, I've got some news.

I just... Hey!

Don't they know guns are illegal in
Boston?

Look, I don't need the family journal. I
read that section over and over.

The ship wasn't sunk in a battle. It was
scuttled. So what?

So it's got to be near the shore. People
saw it go under.

There are thousands of reefs, sandbars,
rocks.

They could have scuttled a ship anywhere
along the Florida coastline.

But they didn't. Don't you see?

This is the key without a door.

Pirate's key.

The treasure must have gone down with
the ship.

The girl is right. It's just offshore.

She's wrong.

One quick look will tell us which it is.

Do we still need her?

I've got you this far. You need me. I
studied the book, and I know the Simon

mine because I've got one.

Wait till we see if anything's out
there.

And she knows that our only chance to
find her is if she leads them to the

treasure. Yeah, but the family journal
doesn't tell us anything about where

ship went down. Just a story about that
old pirate tavern.

Who knows where that used to be?

Well, look, she knows the journal. She
knows we have it. So there's got to be a

clue in here somewhere. All right, all
right. Read it again.

In this, the year of our Lord, 1692, I,
Evangeline Simon, found...

Found my two sons, Jack and Francis, for
the first time in over a year,

and then lost them again.

For the sea causes people to come
together and then tears them

away again.

And one man may come back, a rich lord,
and one a bloodthirsty, murderous

pirate.

I'll go no more.

He scared all the customers away.

People don't come to their favorite
tavern to be beaten and robbed.

Things will pick up as soon as they find
themselves a fair new ship.

Ah,

it's the pretty Sir Francis.

Mother!

Frenchie!

That he died in a shipwreck off New
Providence.

He's a changed man, Francis.

For the worst.

They call him Black Jack now.

You must hurry.

Once and for all.

Ah.

Francis.

Not long ago, I served aboard the good
captain's ship.

And he healed all he did.

And he's the kind.

I have felt they kill you. I scan the
nine tails.

For the guy who bailed the ingrate out
of debtor's prison.

Give him a job?

Aye.

That I should chew on salt pork in our
deck while a good captain grew

fat on roast pig.

That I should sleep better dicks on a
plank while he snored atop a feathered

mattress.

That I should swab his... Dex, while he
looked down on me.

His own brother.

Mutiny led by my own brother. How do you
think that looked back in a home

office?

Look at you now.

Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
Bicker, bicker, bicker, ever since you

little boys.

How about shaking hands?

Bad idea. Well, now, boys, after all the
years together and the good times, do

you really want to kill each other?

Or would you rather...

of hot buttered rum.

And all the other serving wenches and
milking maids you squandered our family

fortune on.

Our poor mother,

forced to sing for farthing, sinner
tavern.

To seek new ports to rape, pillage, and
plunder.

Off to the caves!

Mother, take a message to my men.

Scuttle the ship.

Don't let the pirates have it.

I don't know, Francis. They're awfully
bad for business around here.

Mother, please. It's my dying request.

Well, if you put it that way.

And what about the treasure?

What? The treasure. What about the
treasure?

Uh, let it go down with the ship.

Okay, fine.

Where's the ship?

Where is it? I don't know where it is.

Well, then we gotta go to the closest
thing we can find to the ship.

To the one thing that's gotta be there
after all these years.

Off to the cave.

the merchant ship.

Uh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I don't think we're on course anymore.

I mean, look at this. Nobody's even been
through here since 1692.

I used to see these caves all the time
from the boat when I'd go out on

It's right up ahead here. Come on.

Think so.

It's her.

Boy, are we glad to see you.

I was afraid you'd gone to join that big
family reunion in the sky.

Oh, I almost did. They drugged me before
they brought me down here. When I saw

that needle, I wasn't so sure telling
them about Pirate's Key was such a great

idea. Where are they?

They found the wreck. They're diving for
the treasure right now.

It doesn't make any difference.

We've got you, and that's what matters.

I never thought I'd be so glad to see
relatives drop by without calling.

How many have I got?

Four.

You all right? You can be able to walk?
I'll be okay.

I thought you said there were four of
them.

I did.

I'm always armed.

Come on. We got work to do.

Yeah, and when Florida and Massachusetts
finish with him, we have a few charges

back here, too.

Yeah, seems a lot of Scott's customers
have reported stolen historical

artifacts. Appears he's been selling
them in foreign countries. Where have

been, anyway? We've been trying to reach
you since yesterday.

Uh, uh, we've been about 30 felons under
Pirate's Key, Mom. Dive in for

treasure. Did you get anything?

Yes, we got wet.

At the rate of $500 an hour. That's
basic salvage rate. An onboard crane,

suction pump, and a salvage crew of 13
expatriate Cubans that Rick found in a

waterfront dive somewhere. Cousteau
never had a more loyal crew. We have no

reason to believe they had anything to
do with stealing our clothes. And our

wallets?

Yeah, it was a fortune. A fortune in
molasses. But listen, at least we found

that Marguerite Danvers was married to
Benedict Simon. It's right here in the

files at the Piracy Port House.

So Orville and Wilbur get their condo.
We tried to call them with the good

Mom, but they weren't home.

Do you have any idea where they are?
Have you heard from them? No, not a

I'll go by your office and check your
messages. Maybe they called.

What'd you do? What'd you go and broke
the window for? Yeah, I was just trying

to knock to see if there was anybody at
home, but... Didn't hear a lot. You were

tapping there?

What? Oh, never mind. It's just a post.

Anyway... Oh!

Watch out for my foot! Get it out of
there. How are you?

Oh.

You here, Bill?

No.

I wonder how come they invited us to
come out here.

They weren't going to be around all the
way from Buffalo.

I know.

I said, well, might as well wait,
though.

I'm sick and tired of getting you down
to the channel bar and the hotel.

I'm going to put you in ramps. No,
you're not, champ. It's just a hard

cocktail wait. No, no, no. You're deaf
as a post. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It reminds me. I got a phone number last
night.

A lovely little grandmother lives out
near the airport.

Invited me out to her place to pet the
jets with her.

I didn't say nothing about airplanes.

Get on your feet, old brother.

Woman's got a sister.

Willie.

Help you with something, young fella?

You must be Orville and Wilbur.

That depends on who you are.

Lieutenant Brown. I'm a friend of Rick
and AJ's. Who?

You'll get a big kick out of that.

I have to excuse my brother there. It's
hard to practically everything, you

know?

Well, your cousins, Rick and A .J., are
still in Florida, but they told me to

stop by and give you the good news.

What's that?

Elizabeth has solved the case.

Who? Your cousin, Elizabeth. She's
solved the case. The condo is yours.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! You hear that, Wilbur?

You hear that? There's no more winters
in Buffalo.

No, it's going to be sunshine from here.