All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s03e11 Bon Voyage, Alonso

Well, she's my little girl, and I expect
her to come back that way. Good night.

Simon and Simon.

I'm really not looking for a shipboard
romance, Mr... Bond.

James Bond.

Arnold Cargan, thou hast been served. As
I end my refrain, knave, I shall thrust

home. We've got the helm.

I've got a mother and a brother on board
that boat. When it comes to my son, I

take orders from no one.

I'm telling the truth.

Yeah, they're all lies. They're all
lies. Excuse me, excuse me. This one of

gentlemen happen to have a light? I seem
to have forgotten my matches.

Operation Sunburst is on course.

Nobody moves and nobody dies.

You were 20 seconds behind.

You were trying to make up time.

You were surprised by the ship's
whistle, and you didn't confirm the

was secure.

So, you're dead.

Where do the security guards come from,
Marla? There aren't going to be any on

the sunburst.

Not as far as we know, but things
change.

Look, if we run this operation the way
it's supposed to be run, only the

and a few of his crew will ever know
we've hit them. And that means we have

anticipate any eventuality.

Okay, back it up and do it again.

This time we got it, AJ.

Oregon is smart, but this time we got
it. I don't know.

It's the P &A it's served and the fat
lady sings.

We've been trying for three days. We
haven't even gotten close.

Well, so our ground game's a little
weak.

All we've got to do now is come up with
a mental razzle -dazzle.

Well, let's get this over with and get
on board that cruise ship tomorrow.

That is my kind of a fine message. Come
on, throw it up there.

Okay.

Hello, Mr. Gargan. How do you do?

Dr. Lippincott will be in in just a
moment. I'm Nurse Bob.

And I will be cleaning your teeth.

Cool.

Yes,

yes, yes, I know.

Dr. Lippincott, I think Mr. Corrigan is
ready.

Arnold Corrigan, you have been served.

You're not Arnold Corrigan.

Damn right I'm not.

But I got a message from him.

Only one thing Mr. Corrigan hates more
than deadbeat sleazebags like you two.

hates going to court.

But if he's going to court, it's going
to be for a good reason.

Get my drift?

Stay away from Mr. Carter.

Well, there goes the cruise.

Well, just for one of us.

Why don't we flip for it?

Your heads, I'm tails.

I've been saying that for years.

My only interest is the safety and the
well -being of my daughter and her

friends. I understand perfectly, Mr.
Bishop.

I assure you, the woman that we have
selected for this assignment is the

Besides which, as soon as I wrap up this
case, I'll be flying down to Mexico to

join the ship. Look, Dad, Mr. Simon got
us both sunglasses and a voyage -sized

bottle of Dramamine.

Okay, time to get a move on. Okay,
ladies, ladies.

It's very important to me that Marjorie
have a good time on this cruise.

I don't want any complications of any
kind. Well, like I told you on the

we guarantee our work. Well, I don't
want to seem like the proverbial doting

father, Mr. Simon.

But Marjorie's been dating a young man
that I seriously disapprove of.

This trip is the opening salvo in an
attempt to sink that romance.

I halfway expected him to show up here
and create some kind of a theme.

Mom will just mother her out of that
little infatuation.

Well, she's my little girl.

And I expect her to come back that way.

Do I make myself clear?

Mrs. Simon? Yes.

She's my mother.

Well, good for you.

Well, would you like to buy some luggage
today?

Oh, sorry. Come on in.

Give Lester a tip, Rick.

That's for the girls next door, too.

Bon voyage, Alonzo.

Who the hell's Alonzo?

Are there any single women on board?
Always.

Ah, great.

Most of them your mother's age.

Yeah, it's not so good.

Uh, listen, there's this one, uh, came
on right after I did.

Tall, blonde, uh... Well, you wouldn't
exactly call her Fig, you're boyish, you

know what I mean? I think I heard
somebody call her Marla.

Uh, Heartbreak Hotel, pal. Marla Cumbie.
Cumbie, Cumbie. Third trip this season.

Many have tried.

Many have failed.

My bet, she's got a sugar daddy she
visits down in Cabo.

Be my guest, though.

I mean, who knows?

You just might be her type.

Ah, what a pleasant thought.

I appreciate the advice, Lester. No.

Come be. Come be.

Lester, are there many single men
aboard?

Always. Most of them your son's age.

Who knows, though? You might get lucky.

You're still in pretty good shape.

You must be the girls next door.

What do you got in the trunk? The boy
next door?

Did I pack this thing unconsciously?

No, I did.

You know a mother fusses after her son.
Besides, I thought you'd like to have

it. Mom, we're going to be going into
Mexico.

If they happen to find this thing,
you're going to be fussing over me from

cell at the Jalapo State Prison.

Besides, I certainly won't need this to
babysit a couple of 16 -year -old girls.

Rick, you don't know how dangerous a 16
-year -old girl can be.

Get me out of here. I just spent an hour
on my head.

Need any help?

No, I don't think so.

Well, I'm in the next room if you need
anything.

Okay. Thanks.

Bye.

You got anything to eat?

We have some new intelligence about the
Coast Guard patrol for tonight.

They'll be working the quadrants north
of us.

It means a change of operational course
for the decoy ship.

Skeet?

Yes, Martin?

Do you like to shoot trap?

Well, I haven't done that much, no, sir.

I always shoot trap at sea.

Ever since my first cruise.

I was only 17. I fell in love on that
first cruise.

French film actress.

I set the ship's record for consecutive
hits.

211. Well, that's terrific.

Excuse me a minute. I see a friend of
mine over here.

You know, the trouble with traveling
alone is you never get the lotion right

where you want it. I'm doing just fine.

Well, in that case, do you mind putting
a little on the small of my back?

During the war, I got a wound down here.
The sun hits, it just burns it right

away.

Really not looking for a shipboard
romance, Mr... Bond.

James Bond.

Actually, my name is Rick Simon, and I
already know your name.

How clever of you.

Well, I get paid to be clever.

I'm a private investigator.

Is that really the truth?

Of course it is.

I don't look like the kind of fellow who
would say just anything.

To have his way with you, do I?

Let me put it this way.

I haven't found a war wound down here
yet.

Ah, excuse me.

Hey, hey!

Why aren't you guys with Mom?

Because she's getting a massage.

All right, look, you don't have to steal
food off other people's plates, okay?

You're hungry? Charge it to the room,
okay?

Okay. Don't go overboard.

Okay.

Operation Sunburst is on record.

Oh, hi.

Excuse me. I must have made a wrong turn
or something. You guys know where the

communications room is? You know, the
ship to shore radio? Yeah, it's across

deck and then back down to your right.

Back this way, then turn right? Oh, you
need a light?

As a matter of fact, it is. Yeah, yeah.
Probably my wife. I think she needs some

help with her zipper.

Nobody moves and nobody dies.

We've got the helm.

ungentlemanly thing.

Have you no poetry in your soul? Do you
not recognize greatness when it projects

itself?

I don't remember him in hand. Is that
your nephew?

A veritable peninsula.

Hear their whispers?

They mock me.

Do not crowd me, knave, for as I end my
refrain,

brought home.

Colonel Cargan, thou hast been served.
As I end my refrain, knave, I shall

thrust home.

Good fool.

Thou shalt have six pence.

A pox on both your houses.

Were you able to reach AJ?

No, the radio's gone off, Pritz.

Thank you.

Start without me.

I know you left without ever seeing my
war wound this afternoon.

Were you badly burned, Mr. Simon? Oh,
yeah.

It'd be a lot less painful if you danced
with me.

I think pain is always good.

If it serves as a warning to be more
cautious.

There's not much chance of that, lady.

Coffee's a little late tonight.

After all, it is the first night out, so
many little things can go wrong.

I can hardly wait for the cha -cha
contest to begin.

Damn it, Lester. We were looking forward
to some coffee.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'd be delighted to go get you a refill.
No, no, no. Maybe later, Lester. Right

now, we need you to take a message to
the captain.

I'm traveling alone. I don't know anyone
on the ship. I just thought I'd take a

chance. I'm Dudley Fuller.

Well, I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr.
Fuller.

And no, you're not being too forward.

Is this your first cruise?

My last, probably.

You probably don't notice it, but these
ships rock and torque.

Oh, no, I hadn't noticed.

Well, it's terrible on the back.

Of course, flying's not all that much
better. With flying, you get pitch and

yaw. It's hard to know which is the less
aggravating, rock and torque or pitch

and yaw.

But I wonder.

What?

Well, maybe it isn't the ships and the
planes. Maybe it's just the traveling

alone.

Are you? Flirting with me, Mr. Fuller.

You mind?

Makes my back feel more relaxed.

There I was, ladies and gentlemen, eye
to eye with this enormous iceberg.

An early grave waiting for us in the
waters below, while up on the bridge,

of the instruments... Excuse me, sir.

May I see you for a moment, please?
Later, Lester, later.

Sorry, where was I? Ah, yes.

Up on the bridge, all of the instruments
frozen solid.

Nothing to go on except sheer guts and
savvy.

Guts and... Excuse me, sir. I really
need to speak to you right away.

Excuse me for a moment.

How many times have I told you not to
interrupt me in the middle of my iceberg

story? This is a dire emergency, sir.
You mustn't come.

What?

You mind, friend?

The song's almost over. It's hardly
worth it.

Well, I'm afraid I really must insist.

I'm afraid I really must decline.

I'll humor him.

Everything all right?

Practically.

a little gun played out of the engine
room. Nobody heard, but they shot the

out of the water supply tanks.

A private detective, like one of those
guys who's always finding a dead body in

the trunk of his car?

Sometimes I've even been known to find
two at a time. Oh, really?

Excuse me, fella, but she's not supposed
to dance with strangers.

He's not a stranger, Bucky. He's a
private detective.

Maybe you could hire him to follow the
guy that your wife's hired to follow us.

Would you cool it, Melody? Just cool it.
Look, it's okay. I think I got a

fishbone caught in my throat anyway.

Well, where are the girls?

There.

Oh. That's all right. I'll find them.

Got nothing better to do.

Boy, am I having a good time.

Oh, no.

Not good.

Let's go back inside and join Mom, okay?
No, you can't make me. I love Nick.

No one is asking you to stop loving him.
I just want you to go back inside.

No, I'm staying here with him.

Listen, in a minute, my mom's going to
start worrying.

Then she's going to start blaming
herself because you ran off.

Now, if you don't go back inside right
now and sit down, you're going to force

me to do something I really don't want
to do.

You're going to force me to throw this
young man over the side of the ship.

You wouldn't dare.

I just hate it when women say stuff like
that.

Stop it! You're hurting him!

No, I'm not.

Now, look, just go on back in there,
okay?

Just go on back, okay?

I'll come to you later.

You okay?

I'm not so tough.

You know, this would all be a lot
simpler if you could stop acting like a

dish paint in the back pocket for just a
minute.

Now, if I turn you over to the captain,
he's going to lock you up.

And then you're not going to see
Marjorie until we get back to San Diego.

Shh.

Let's take a walk.

Serious talk. We've destroyed your
satellite navigation gear.

And we've been steering a new course for
30 minutes.

You have no idea where we are. No one
will.

And if someone should ask you why we've
turned, tell them you're skirting a low

-pressure cell coming out of the Gulf.

Is that clear?

Then I think it's time that you and I
send a message to the owners of this

vessel and let them know how much money
it's going to cost them to keep it

afloat.

Hey, Jay. Good you're home.

Yo, man.

How's it going?

Oh, town. I'm sorry. I didn't know it'd
come to this.

Look, I'm fresh out of Muscatel. On the
other hand, I do have a nice, ebullient

little cabernet. What do you want from
me? I cover the waterfront.

Didn't have time to change.

No kidding.

Where are you going? Well, I figure if I
can catch the last flight down to Cabo,

I can be on board the sunburst.

And time for the big review.

Well, let's see. Rick has been on board,
oh, 12 hours by now. That means that he

has annoyed at least a dozen women,
probably really offended two or three

others. Will you stop limbering up your
libido long enough to listen to me?

We've got problems.

Well, if you want me to cover the
waterfront with you, I'm sorry, but the

is no. This is the first vacation I've
had in months, and I'll be damned if I'm

going to let Rick have all the fun.

I don't think, uh...

He's going to have any fun. Are you
kidding? Rick is probably leading the

line around the promenade deck even now.
A .J.

Sunburst has been hijacked. It's for
real, man.

I don't know if anyone's been hurt or
where they are.

A task force is getting set up right now
over at the shipping office to handle

communications. I thought I'd go over in
an official capacity to help out. I

figure you might want to come along.

Yes, thank you. Let me get my stuff.
Yeah.

You seen my gun?

Well, you know I have. It's a long one.
Six shots. Very nice.

No, not since you hit it in there.

Somebody's been through this room.

Somebody who knew what they were doing.

Have you seen the water? What about the
water?

Uh, come in.

It's just about the most disgusting
thing I've ever seen in my life.

I'm not brushing my teeth in that stuff.

We called a steward over an hour ago to
complain. Nothing, nobody.

What's going on? Can't any of you people
sleep?

The water is brown and my transistor
radio is missing.

I can't find mine either.

I think we ought to go back to our cabin
and get some sleep. It's been a very

exciting first day. I know it has been
for me.

We should go see the captain.

Girls. Mom, mom, mom, mom.

Listen, I'll handle this. I want to find
out who's been letting their fingers do

the walking through our stuff. This is
Nick.

Nick, Nick, this is my mom. Nick is a
stowaway. He is also the kid we're

supposed to be keeping Marjorie away
from.

What is it?

It's after one, you know. Sorry about
that, but several of us have had things

taken from our rooms.

Oh, well, all right. We'll talk to the
purser about it in the morning. No, we

will not wait until the morning,
Captain.

Somebody on this ship, maybe even
somebody in your crew, has been

We never did finish our dance, did we,
Mr. Simon?

Ten million dollars by noon tomorrow.

That's right.

No, they haven't told us where to
deliver it yet.

Okay.

Air Rescue's got a fix on the ship.

Are you Mr. Galloway? Yes.

Lieutenant Brown, SDPD.

This is A .J. Simon.

Mr. Simon. How do you do, sir? I have
relatives on board the boat.

Lieutenant, what are you doing to me?

I mean, this is tough enough without
bringing in relatives.

He's a private investigator, Mr.
Galloway, and so is his brother who

be aboard your ship.

I think they can be valuable to you.

I'm terribly sorry about all this, Mr.
Simon, but I would appreciate it if you

would go home and wait.

I'm not going to go home and sit on my
hands until I know that my mother and my

brother are safe.

You're going to leave here right now.

I want official people only in this
room. Is that clear?

Raise your right hand. Repeat after me.
I'm a deputy. I'm a deputy. You're a

deputy. What?

Oh, damn it.

That ship Air Rescue's been tracking is
a tramp steamer out of Monterey. It was

stolen two days ago. It's a decoy.

Where the hell is my ship?

What kind of leak?

Chlorine, Mrs. Simon. Our water
treatment compressor broke down.

It's located near the captain's cabin.

Your son and the others were walking
through it when the leak occurred.

Mrs. Simon, you didn't have to come all
the way down here. This really isn't

very serious, you know. Well, it sounds
serious to me.

We're administering oxygen to everyone
just as a precautionary measure.

I'd like to see Rick if it's all right.

I don't think that's very advisable, ma
'am. With all due respect to your rank,

Captain, when it comes to my son, I take
orders from no one.

Yes, but...

Oh, yeah, just a little nauseated,
Cecilia, you know.

Oh, well, are the girls okay?

Oh, sure, they're fine. Listen, Nick,
why don't you give her dad a call and

him not to worry? I know how much he'd
like to hear from you.

Oh, yes, that's a good idea.

And we'll see you in the morning, then.

I'll count on that, Cecilia.

It's right as rain in the morning, Mrs.
Simon. Believe me now, I... You did

well, Captain.

Now get topside.

Packer, you know what you are, don't
you?

You're a disgrace to yourself and to the
line.

I got tired of waiting to be promoted,
Skipper. So I promoted myself.

I see.

It seems to me under the circumstances
we should try and conserve our strength,

get some rest.

We could take this door out.

You, me, Bucky there, they wouldn't be
expecting trouble on the outside.

Those men are armed, Mr. Simon.

Maybe we would be able to surprise them.
But certainly at least one or two of us

would be killed, isn't that true?

Oh, Lester, just the man I want to see.
I'm off duty. Now you're going to tell

us what's going on around here. If they
see me talking to you, they're going to

kill me.

who's involved, who we can trust, who we
can get to help. And the only weapon

we've got is a bottle of champagne.

Wait, I got a pocket knife. Well, it's
not much of an arsenal, but they have

guns. Well, Lester, give me your
suspenders.

The money is to be delivered to the
following location.

Exactly 31 degrees north latitude, 115
degrees, 17 minutes west longitude. We

have begun to flood the forward cargo
holds of the sunburst.

If the money is not delivered promptly
at 12 noon, we will not inform you of

location of the ship, and it will sink
with all the souls on board.

Instructions have been sent. Signal the
pickup boat to be alongside at 1100

hours. Aye, aye.

Morning. Can we send the message back to
shore? I'm sorry, son. Our pants

smitter is still out.

Honey, that's the oldest trick in the
book.

The transmitter's working just fine.

I think I can figure this baby out. It's
just a little bigger version of my

dad's ham set.

But where are we? Give some landmarks.

Something unsure.

We passed a lighthouse about 20 minutes
before the ship engines stopped.

Tell them two long blinks followed by
two short blinks. S .O .S. This is the S

.S. Sunburst.

S .O .S.

Oh, Melody.

Will you ever get out of this?

Promise you I'm going to divorce my
wife.

You know, for two years, that's all I
lived for.

Now I finally hear you say it, and I
realize I don't love you, Bucky.

All I want is for a second chance in
life.

I just hope it isn't too late.

You know, it's funny, Diane.

I really miss Nick a lot, but...

I think I miss my dad even more.

I keep on thinking how he's going to cry
if we don't come home okay.

I feel so sick.

I think I'm going to die. I drank the
water.

Breakfast for the patient.

I think I hear something.

It's locked, Rick.

Can you hear me? Yeah, Mom, step out of
the way.

Nice work.

Nick, are you okay?

Everybody frees where you are.

Fuller, you're with him? I'm afraid so.

Marla wanted me to keep an eye on you.

And you used me to do it? Well, my
apologies, Cecilia, but there's a great

more at stake here than just a passing
fancy.

Uh -huh.

Got it.

We just picked up a signal from a
freighter off the coast of Mexico.

They were getting an SOS from the
sunburst, and they gave a lighthouse as

landmark.

Okay, they're talking about the San
Miguel's White House here.

Alert the planes, move the coast guard
that way, and tell them to get ready to

attack. Wait a minute. I thought I told
you to get... No, wait a minute.

You're talking about a full -scale naval
engagement here.

I mean, have you stopped to consider the
cost?

I mean, how many of the passengers are
you prepared to lose here?

Ten percent?

Twenty percent? Now, look... No, you
look!

I've got a mother and a brother on board
that boat.

I want to know what price you're
prepared to pay.

You got another way?

I do.

Well, you said you had the Navy standing
by. Get yourself a couple of special

unit SEALs, well -armed, in scuba gear.

They can sneak onto the ship, marshal
forces, and attack with surprise.

Can you get them there without being
seen? By helicopter.

Drop them with water sleds, just out of
sight of the ship.

I know this thing can work. I must have
been involved in a dozen simulations

like this when I was in the Navy. Oh,
come on. We got less than four hours. I

can't find someone and get them in the
air that fast.

Maybe.

Just hold on. When I said I was involved
in these simulations, I was the guy

with the stopwatch.

I didn't go in the water that much.

Yeah, but you remember the run -through.

Yeah, I guess I can improvise it on a
wing and a prayer. But I'll need a

partner, someone who knows what he's
doing. You're looking at him. Someone

knows what he's doing. You're looking at
him.

Hey, come on. I swim, I scuba.

Hey, Town, I'm the man that served the
papers on Arnold Corrigan. What more do

you want?

Are you big on prayer?

That's my strong suit.

Okay, fine.

Where are we?

We're in Forward Hold.

Hey, maybe one of us could climb through
that ash.

Somebody small.

And somebody strong.

I can do it.

Well, I can.

I was always climbing trees, exploring
new places when I was little.

It's been a long time. I'd like to try.

I got a hunch you still got what it
takes, Melody.

What do you think you're doing?

You'll be coming with us.

It's a little added insurance.

And in case the company decides to play
games with a ransom, take him to his

quarters and secure him.

We've got enough to invade Grenada.

Waterproof? What is this thing? That's a
grappling gun.

Shoots the hook up to grab the rail.

We climb up the rope.

What happens if it misses the rail?

How long can you tread water?

Gotcha. Okay, guys.

Want to get this stuff to the chopper?

Look, I got us the best pilot on the
force. Good. Who is he? My cousin. Out

ground, Brown. What a family.

Don't look up. I'm not looking up.
You're going to have to wiggle around a

little bit. You know, squirm.

Yeah, give it the old bump and grind.

Lester, what are you doing there? I'm
sorting my socks.

What do you think I'm doing? I'm hiding
from those maniacs. All right, look,

this part of the ship seems pretty
secure. I want you guys to stay here

Lester. I'm going to go take a look
around.

I'll go with you. No, you will not come
with me. You will stay here.

How are you going to make me?

Did you ever see a kid so stubborn?

Yes.

You're a big help. You stay put.

I've been looking for you.

All right, I give up. You're working for
him, too. I can't find the fantail.

Trap shooting, remember? Right, right.

Trap shooting.

You got any shells for this thing?

I'm not allowed to have live ammunition.

Not at my age.

Ah, damn. What the hell are you doing
here? Didn't I tell you to stay put?

Look, Mr. Simon, with all due respect, I
know you're very worried about your

mother, but I also have someone on this
ship that I care very much about.

And I don't care whether you want me
here or not. You got me.

All right, kid, you stick close to me.

Uh, listen, I know this is gonna sound
weird, but I'm gonna have to ask you a

favor, okay?

You enjoying the cruise so far?

What took you so long?

Where's Mom?

She's all right.

Hey, kid. Kid.

He's one of us.

Sorry, man.

Look, let's tie these guys up, and you
go back and tell the others everything's

going to be okay. Hey, I told you
already, I'm going with you. Ah, jeez.

little extra baggage our friend Marjorie
brought along.

Oh, boy. After this is all over, we'll
give them a proper introduction to her

father. But for right now, those people
back there don't care how macho you

think you are. They're scared.

And if you had any sense at all, you'd
be scared, too. Now you get back there

and tell them everything's going to be
okay.

Move!

I can't see if I keep my hat down. I'll
let you know if there's anything worth

looking at. Keep your hat down.

Abbott.

They're loose. Get them.

You think you saw it?

Hold it.

Come on, put them down.

Put them down now.

Up against the wall.

Up against the wall. Other wall.

All right, you guys got this?

Yeah, you bet.

Piece of cake.

I got one more name on my dance card.

You know, Mr. Simon, I can never forgive
you for this.

And I had such high hopes for us.

I rarely underestimate men.

And when I do, I usually wind up falling
in love with them. Is that a

proposition? You and me and ten million
dollars.

They're our worst fate.

I know of twenty countries where we
could live like royalty. Thanks, A .J.

Oh, you're welcome.

That doesn't change my offer.

You know, A .J., these shipboard
romances aren't everything they're

to be.

I'm not so sure about that.