Original subtitles

The police and the insurance companies ruled it an accident. Somebody must have

sabotaged his shoot.

Tonight on Simon and Simon.

Do you know anything about Santa Lea? Doesn't have a basketball team. Rick,

dress for dinner. What do you think I do, eat naked? Got our cover all worked

out. Don't fall down under pressure.

Are you new on the pro tour?

We found him on the ground next to his body. He was still wearing the goggles.

The strike you as odd? Everything about this accident seems odd.

Hey, look, that's a $5 ,000 roll of goods here, pal. Just back off. I just

to make it look like an antique.

Leeds, I'm giving you one last chance to reconsider my proposition. Give it a

rest. Will you, Dayton? God didn't make the weekends for business, especially

not the way you conduct it. Look, Leeds, if you know the kind of pressure I'm

under, I need an answer fast. Okay.

No. Is that fast enough?

Now let's go and enjoy the show.

Warren, I counted on you. You just can't hang me out to dry.

You hanged yourself.

I'm not going to let you off the hook.

I'm going to make way.

Well, then I hope you're a good swimmer.

Hi, Sherry.

How's the wind today?

Perfect. Should be a good jump.

I think it's crazy. It'd never get me up there.

Go to try it.

One of the safest sports going.

More people can head on a tennis court than out here.

Something's wrong. Alan?

What the hell is all this?

Dr. Louise.

Thank you for calling, Marie.

Hello, you're on the box with Dr. Louise.

Boy, her own husband.

I think you know somebody.

I mean, you live with them day and night all those years, all of a sudden they

start doing stuff off the wall.

Tell me about it.

Oh, you mean... Nah, all of this stuff packs up in two minutes. That's the

beauty of it.

I figured, you know, since we didn't have anything in the traps, I'd take

Mooney down to Rogue River for the weekend.

The weekend?

Yeah. You've got more stuff here than the Marines had at Guadalcanal. One,

didn't I?

So your old Debbie will hoist a white flag about midnight.

Why don't you do this outside, Mr. Wild Kingdom?

Eh, it looks like rain. I don't want the stuff to get wet.

What do you mean you don't want it to get wet? You're going down the Rogue

for the weekend. How's it not going to get wet?

Long -suffering A .J. Simon here.

Air bottles should always be stowed.

Oh, Jerry!

Oh, yeah, I didn't recognize your new name.

Contents under extreme pressure.

I'm sorry.

Sure.

Well, why don't you come to the office and... Do not pull the red air bottle

ball.

I think you better make that half an hour.

again sherry you know i haven't had a decent margarita since you left the

barnacle you know they retired your blender it's been a while since i shared

happy hour with anyone yeah well sorry to hear about the accident here sit down

no no thank you oh what can we do for you insurance problem something wrong

the wheel what no you can find out who murdered my husband

How many of you are going?

We don't know how long we're going to be in Santa Lea. I just want to be

prepared. For what, a shirt shortage?

I've got to pack ten of these by now.

Rick, there is a difference between packing and stuffing.

Well, as our old Uncle Will used to say, life's sort of like an overnight bag.

The more you cram into it, the longer you get to stay.

Yeah, well, for your information, I'm just taking along a few things.

To shore up our credibility.

As what? Detective Sam Spade wore the same suit through an entire movie.

Rick, do you know anything about Santa Lea? Doesn't have a basketball team.

Okay, there you go. Neither does Palm Beach.

Neither does Newport.

Neither does Growth Point.

Rick, they dress for dinner there.

What do you think I do, eat naked?

Never mind. Look, I've been thinking about my cover.

How does the name...

Andrew Swan strike you.

Sort of like a feather.

Look, I've already got our cover all worked out. You're gonna love it. All

you're gonna need is a pair of sneakers and some sweat socks that don't fall

down under pressure.

The police and the insurance companies ruled it an accident.

Now, what makes you think it was murder?

Alan was an expert skydiver. He always went over all his gear with a fine

comb.

Somebody must have sabotaged his chute.

Well, what makes you think that? I mean, did Alan have any enemies you know

about? Are you kidding?

In the record business, you don't make friends, just money.

A lot of the competition was gunning for him.

Do you recall any arguments or heated conversations you might have had?

He was working on a very complicated business deal with a man named Warren

Leeds.

Maybe you've heard of him?

Yeah.

Sort of a one -man conglomerate.

Hotels in Vegas, pinball machines, cable TV. Very prominent trends in the olive

oil importing business.

Well, I wasn't crazy about Alan getting involved with Leeds.

They had a meeting here two days before.

I... I couldn't make out what was being said. I just know there was a lot of

shouting. Who was doing most of the shouting?

Alan.

Leeds dormed out of here, and Alan wouldn't tell me what it was all about.

Now, Leeds, was he part of the skydiving group?

Yes.

He jumped right after Alan.

Hey. Oh, hey, I'm sorry.

That's okay. That's okay. Come on. Come on.

When can you guys start?

How about right now? Is that soon enough?

Oh, hey.

Old friends are always the best.

Now, you might have a problem with some of the people in Santa Lea.

Why? What's wrong with them?

Well, Alan's friends never really accepted me into their world. I wasn't

right sort of person, I guess. Yeah, not filming enough for them, huh?

And if they think that... You're working for me. Well, we'll go undercover.

It'll be better that way anyhow.

Are you kidding?

They'll never even know we're here.

He's here!

He's here!

Who is he? I don't know. Let's get his autograph anyway. He's gone.

Yeah.

Uh, thank you very much, girls. Thank you. Thank you!

I'll have to... I'll hand it to you, though, Rick.

It's the best cover you ever dreamed up.

You know, you like it. Five Clemens gotta work.

Ah, and I appreciate you letting me have the glory seat on this one, too. Well,

you have to trade these things off. Last time I was the oil minister from

Kuwait, that had a certain amount of glory to it. Not to mention eight wives.

Hey.

That is the essence of good undercover.

Authenticity.

Tell you what, you check in at tournament headquarters, I'm gonna lose

stuff and sniff around the airport. Hey, uh, you got the, uh, M3P?

I understand you had a customer.

Dig a hole on you about two weeks ago.

What?

Ernie Boyer. An ASB.

An ASB?

National Air Safety Board.

Oh, you're about to date next.

Let's see. Dayton.

Dayton. Dayton. Allen.

Skydiver. Took the elevator from the 10th floor.

What? 10 ,000 feet.

Anything left worth looking at?

Cops, the FAA, and 100 insurance guys have already been through everything.

Yeah, well, I don't chew my food twice, pal.

I'm your federal tax dollar at work. Spend me wisely.

Telephone call for Mr.

Jim Post.

There's a phone call for Mr.

Jim Post.

Mr. Swan? Yes.

I'm Lisa Bannon with the Santa Lea Register.

I'm covering the tournament.

I wonder if you can give me some background on yourself for our readers.

Oh. Well, I'm really due for my alcohol rub, but I guess I can give you a few

moments.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not familiar with your

and you haven't played here before. Are you new on the pro tour?

New? Yes.

Well, let's see.

San Antonio Open Clay Courts Champion, 1975.

Ars Tills Honor Op, 1978.

Yakuza Motors World Invitational Champion.

1979. Let's see, I beat Jimmy 6 -2, 6 -3 in that one.

Jimmy Connors?

I was not referring to Durante.

Packed the chute myself.

Police technician verified it was in perfect working order. Still is.

Once they ruled it was an accident, they sent everything back to us.

Best we can figure is...

Some sort of freak, temporary malfunction in the release mechanism.

No way somebody could have tampered with it. What are you looking at?

You mind?

I'm working here.

They had more corrective glasses?

Yeah, we found them on the ground next to his body. He was still wearing the

goggles.

Wait a minute. You're saying that the glasses are on the ground, the goggles

still on his head?

Yeah. Does that strike you as odd?

Everything about this accident seems odd.

They had a date and jump. Who went out behind him?

Uh, Warren Lees. He live around here?

Yeah.

Hi, fellas. You want to give me a hand getting this up over the brick here?

a hike.

Nobody ordered any carpet.

Is this the Warren Leeds residence?

I'm losing patience.

Hey, come on, guys. I'm just a working slob trying to do my job. Don't make me

laugh.

Do I look like a comedian?

Now, if you got something against me, like personally or something like that,

just show me where I can leave the carpet. I'll put it there and get out of

hair.

That's very funny.

Your partner's inside the carpet, right?

Uh, no,

there's nobody in there. It's just carpet.

Well, if nobody's in the carpet, then you won't mind if I... Hey, look, that's

$5 ,000 roll of goods here, pal. Just back off.

I just want to make it look like an antique.

The first battery -operated carpet that I ever saw.

You want to see Mr. Leeds?

Make an appointment.

Well, 3 .30 looks good to me. Get out of here.

I told you it wouldn't work.

Lori, Jack, hello.

Temperature in here just dropped about 10 degrees.

La -dee -da.

You'd think I'd stop trying after a while.

Come on, hey.

It's just that they don't know you, that's all.

Yeah, if they knew you, they wouldn't let you in the joint to begin with.

Well, there you go.

Sherry, how are you?

Oh, you shouldn't be seen here, Lisa. I'm contagious.

Oh, don't worry. Not everybody in San Elias is.

Novice at the country club set.

I see you again, Mr. Swan.

Miss Bannon, this is my trainer, Dick Sloan. Hi. How do you do? Nice to meet

you. So, you're the one who keeps the machine oiled. Well, in a manner of

speaking, yeah.

That's the guy with the phony carpet.

Oh.

Go on in. I'm going to wash my hands.

You seem very confident. I see that you didn't show up for your practice match

this afternoon. Well, we don't want the machine to get too well oiled.

Gets greasy after a while.

Hey, don't let it get you down.

They'll accept you in time.

I'm not sure it'll work both ways.

I can't say I blame you.

Well, good luck on your endeavors, gentlemen.

Good evening.

I wonder what she meant by that.

Hi.

Something from the bar?

Ah, yeah.

Scotch mist with a twitch for Mr.

Swan. And, um, double margarita, no salt for Mr. Sloan. Very good.

Wow. I never forget a face or a drink. Well, no, sometimes a face. Well, it's

not important. Just keep the drink order straight.

I'll have a daiquiri.

Dave still knows how to make one. I'm sure he does, Mr. Davies.

Uh, Dave.

See the mechanic at the airport?

Mm -hmm. Dave Haddon.

He moonlights as the bartender.

Good for him.

You tell her I've made her the best daiquiri she'll ever have.

Will do, Dave.

The fight was over by the time they got there, but they couldn't get him off the

course, girl.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I don't remember any of that.

At the barnacle? No way.

Thank you very much.

Oh, well, tell him thanks. I will.

I got into a fight at the barnacle?

One.

Well, one memorable one, but many minor ones.

I don't remember a bit of it. Here's to old times.

Here's to old friends at the barnacle.

Something wrong with your drink?

There's cream de coco in here, but it doesn't taste that way.

In a daiquiri? You must have the wrong drink.

It tastes bitter.

It smells like bitter chocolate.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Mm -hmm.

No, please don't spell it.

Right.

Thank you very much, Tony. Appreciate it.

Bye -bye.

The police toxicologist identified the poison as probaxamine.

That's a muscle relaxant.

Take enough of it and it relaxes all your muscles.

including your heart and your lungs.

Do they have any suspects?

Yes and no.

Yes, anybody who was at the country club could have done it.

No, they have no idea who did.

Far for the course.

Well, I'm as confused as they are. I mean, it's one thing for most of the

to snub me.

Yeah, but not to snuff you.

It could be the same person who killed Alan.

Only we're not sure that that was a murder.

Is there anything else that you can tell us? Anything at all unusual that might

have happened in the last couple of weeks?

The watch.

What watch? The gold pocket watch that Ellen's dad gave him maybe 20 years ago.

It was very expensive.

What about it?

It's missing.

I know Ellen had a strong attachment to it, and I wanted him to be buried with

it. Do you think it was stolen?

Well, the house never looked like it was broken into, but, I mean, what else

could have happened to it?

I'll get one of them.

Tell me something.

You ever consider taking that bird out and wringing its neck?

Many times.

Hi. Hi. I just stopped by to see how Sherry is.

Well, she's feeling a little rocky right now.

Well, I would think she'd be feeling kind of dead if you hadn't stopped her

drinking that poison last night.

I guess so.

Look, I know who you are and why you're here.

My name is Swan, and I am here to play tennis.

I also know that you and your brother tried to see Warren Leeds yesterday.

Unsuccessfully. No comment.

I don't like Warren Leeds.

I don't really want his kind in this community.

If you want to talk to him about Alan's death, I can help.

How? He's very security conscious.

Surrounds himself with bodyguards.

So I hear.

But he does play golf, and there he's more approachable.

My son Steve's a caddy.

He can give you more specific information.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Steve? Yeah.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Andrew Swan. This is my trainer, Dick Sloan.

Mom said you'd be willing to talk to us for a bit about Warren Leeds. Oh, yeah,

that's right.

She also said to answer questions, not to ask anything.

Okay, first question.

You suppose you could arrange for us to caddy for him?

No way. He travels around with his own personal caddies these days.

Yeah, I think I met him.

Okay, tell us a little bit about Leeds' golf game.

When I used to caddy for him, I remember he had a pretty nasty slice.

A slice, not a hook?

No, definitely a slice.

Okay, let's see. Is he right -handed?

Yeah, yeah, he always had a lot of problems on 3, 5, 7, and 10. 3, 5, 7,

Is that what I think it is?

Yeah? Yeah.

Sure.

To Alan on his 13th birthday, love, Dad.

I think this belonged to Alan Dayton.

Well, yeah.

How'd you come by it, Steve?

It was really strange, you know.

The day after Mr. Dayton died, I got it in the mail.

Don't ask me why I sent it. I mean, it's not like I admired it or anything. I've

never even seen it before.

It was really spooky getting the watch like that, though.

I didn't tell anyone.

Look, give it to Mrs. Dayton. If she has any questions, she can ask me.

Okay.

And if she wants you to have the watch, we'll see to it you get it back.

I got it in the mail, just like I said.

Okay. Thank you very much for your time, Steve.

Well? Well, uh, do you believe him?

Yeah, I do believe him. I mean, the story's too improbable not to believe

But why would a guy send an expensive watch like that to somebody who was

a total stranger to him?

Hold it. Open the air. Come on.

Come on.

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Magnum. 1, 7.

Covering issue.

What else you got in there? Anything?

Good. All right.

Ready? 1, 2, 3.

.357, you guys like the same caliber, huh?

Let's look out here.

Uh -huh. Brass knocks. You know that's cheating.

Oh, by the way, he was in the carpet.

Oh, thank you very much for not shooting. I do appreciate it.

Very nice work, boys.

Well, let's see now. I think the, yeah, yours was this .357 Magnum, right? And

you had the big one with the... chromed, and the sap, I think, is yours. You get

the brass knuckles, right?

Oh, right, right, right. Still owe you one. There's mine.

Okay. Everybody square?

So much for security.

Mr. Leeds, we were hoping we could have a word with you.

Well, I guess I'll have to deal with these gentlemen myself.

All right, gentlemen, I'll answer your questions.

Hey, look, I'm a very nice fellow.

Ask anybody.

Miami.

Trite.

Vegas.

You got two minutes.

We're investigating the death of Alan Dayton.

So? So, according to his wife, you were with him the afternoon before he died.

And according to his wife, the two of you quarreled.

We need to know what the quarrel was about.

Is there any reason why I should answer that?

Is there any reason why you shouldn't?

No, you're right. There isn't.

When I quarrel with someone, it's usually about money.

This was no exception.

Could you be a little more specific?

Well, I backed him in a few of his record deals. He always paid me off, and

figured I'd do it again.

He was wrong.

Why not?

Alan Dayton didn't meet my standards of creditworthiness.

He was an empty shell.

Alan Dayton was broke.

Come on.

The man made hit record.

But it wasn't enough. He wanted more.

He always financed his future projects by borrowing on his present ones.

Now, when you rob Peter to pay Paul, the time comes when Peter doesn't got.

And Paul starts hollering.

Wait a minute. You're saying the whole thing was a fraud. I mean, the house,

cars, the jet.

Mortgaged, remortgaged, leased, borrowed.

Everything in arrears.

Take it from an expert, the man was worth more dead than alive.

Not to me, though.

What does that mean? The only thing he had that was paid for was a half

-dollar term life insurance policy.

And you can't borrow on that.

His wife, gentlemen, his wife was the only one who benefited from his death.

I didn't poison her in case that was your next question.

I had nothing to gain from it.

The interview's over.

Mr. Leeds, you were with Alan just before he jumped.

So were a lot of people. So what?

I know. I just... Was he wearing his glasses?

He always wore them under his goggles.

Had to.

As blind as a bat.

Was Dayton wearing his glasses?

If so, if so, how'd they wind up on the ground with his goggles still on his

head? Exactly.

Do you believe he died broke?

There's no reason for me to lie about that. Mr. Swann?

Yes,

Mr. Swann.

I believe I have your court assignment here.

Oh, great.

suits the record I made up for you. They'll probably stick you out on the

40 with some old geezer from Oxnard who plays every other weekend.

I hope so.

Here it is. You'll be in center court. Isn't that great? Thank you. Thank you

very much.

Romaine Flott?

Yeah, he's evidently one of those iron curtain players, you know, from one of

those countries. They still make their own rackets. Wood, catgut, very

Center court with Romaine Flott?

Yeah.

Did you know it was Romaine Vlad?

Well, I saw his name on the draw sheet. I mean, he sounds like some guy who eats

a lot of veal cutlets. Big deal. They call him Vlad the Impaler.

He's got a smashing serve, a deadly ground game, and he beat Connors in

Belgrade.

Connors who?

He beat Lendl in Johannesburg.

The same reason Ford retired.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, you haven't looked too tough to me.

all along who he was, didn't you?

Well, yeah, I kind of knew.

I just didn't want you worried.

Worried?

What about public humiliation?

Hey, come on, A .J. You can take this guy. Just make him run.

Run? Yeah.

Look at him!

He ran McEnroe into the ground. The man runs like a deer.

Well, maybe not today.

You seen Sherry around here? She was supposed to be here. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, you want everybody to see this, don't you? I mean, why don't you call

maybe some of your friends back at the Lucky Duck.

No, they don't have to be here to see it.

What do you mean?

Well, the tape's going to be all over the news tonight.

Oh, look, one of those is network.

Oh.

Oh.

Hey, hey, Jake, come on.

All you got to do is keep the ball in play. You can take this guy, all right?

Come on now, relax.

Here, here's your racket.

Take your racket. No, no.

Shake hands with it, all right?

You're gonna be fine. You can take him.

Just keep him moving, right?

Mr. Swan.

Mr. Swanley, Brigade 2, first step.

Great work, AJ. Just keep it up. All you got to do is break his shirt once.

That's all?

That's it.

So far, I haven't been able to see his shirt.

Yeah, well, he's going to lose the edge off of that hard one any minute now.

Believe me, I know.

Go get him.

Mr. Vlad, sir.

Just a telephone call for you. Oh, thank you.

30, love.

Hello? Hi, Rick, it's Lisa.

Oh, hi.

I thought you might be worried about Sherry. Yeah, yeah, I am.

40, love.

Well, Sherry thought you might be.

She's awfully depressed. I think she's taking a ride out in the country.

She may be going to visit Alan's grave.

She's going to miss AJ's match.

I know, and she promised to be there.

She asked me to come over and explain, but...

No, that's okay, Lisa.

Thanks for calling and letting me know.

That's okay. Bye -bye.

Yeah, Lisa Bannon, please.

She's not in.

Did anyone else help you?

No. What time did she leave the office?

She didn't come in today.

Can I take a message for her?

No, no message. Thank you.

Here you go. Thanks. Sure.

Fifteen. Love.

Listen, AJ, I'm going to have to take off, all right? You just keep this guy

moving. Everything's going to be fine. Wait, hey, hey, what's wrong?

Mr. Swan, please.

Something just came up I don't feel very good about. I mean, Sherry didn't show

up, and I don't much like the explanation. I just got about where she

okay? But just... No, hey, wait. If something's wrong with Sherry, we both

How? Mr. Swan, you'll have to serve now or default.

Look, AJ, I can handle this thing by myself, all right? You got a real shot

this. Go for it.

I default.

So I remain.

See you at Wimbledon.

You really didn't have to bail out of a match like that. You could have taken

him. Hey, we're in this together.

Okay, what have you got?

I got a call from Lisa. Yeah?

She said Sherry wasn't going to make it to the match. She was going to go for a

drive in the country.

So? And then Lisa said she was calling from her office.

That it?

No, the cuckoo clock is it. The cuckoo clock? Don't you remember the cuckoo

clock? Remember the cuckoo... Rick, sometimes I don't think about cuckoo

for years on end. The cuckoo clock in Sherry's house. Lisa was calling from

Sherry's house.

That's it?

And that's it?

Just because you heard a cuckoo clock, you pulled me out of a match where I am

actually feeding Romaine Vlad? I don't believe it. Because of a cuckoo clock,

there's only about 800 of them around here.

Just because of that, you pulled me out of a match where I am actually feeding

Romaine Vlad?

Why didn't you bother to call first? I did. There was no answer.

Possibly because there is nobody home.

Did anybody ever tell you that you were paranoid? No, but I'm sure somebody

will. You are paranoid.

There I was playing the best game of my life. Hey, shut up. Shut up. Listen.

What is that?

Rick? Yeah, right here.

Easy up.

I want you to stop getting out of here.

There you go.

You sure you don't want to see a doctor?

No, I'll be all right.

Why would Lisa want to kill me?

We're hoping we'll find some answers in here.

Sherry, did you know that Alan was in some pretty serious financial

difficulties?

No. He always told me everything was fine.

Are you saying Alan was broke?

Well, if that were the case, how do you suppose he'd have handled it?

Not very well, I'm afraid.

Alan was an awfully proud man, and he had this terrible fear of failure.

As far as Alan was concerned, the worst thing in life, the worst, was to be a

loser.

He wasn't a loser, was he?

No man who could attract a woman like you could ever be called a loser.

Hey, Rick. Yeah.

Take a look at this.

Ah, Steve.

It's Lisa's kid.

Somebody who looks a lot like him.

No, Steve, it's Alan.

What? When he was 18, a paratrooper in Vietnam.

But you're right, it does look like Steve.

Everyone always says that Steve looks enough like Alan to be his kid brother.

Or maybe just his kid.

What?

Alan's what?

Steve had it.

He said that Alan sent it to him a day or two before the accident.

Almost as if Alan knew he were going to die.

I think I'm beginning to understand about the glasses.

What glasses?

Alan's glasses.

He always wore them underneath his goggles when he parachuted.

I couldn't figure out why the glasses were on the ground next to him while he

still had his goggles in place. I'm beginning to figure that out.

They didn't fall off.

He took them off before he jumped.

So he wouldn't see the ground rushing up at him.

Alan committed suicide.

Well, nobody knows that for sure. But it does look that way, yes.

But why?

The only thing he had left was a half -million -dollar life insurance policy.

The sad part is that if it was suicide, you're not eligible to collect.

I don't want it anyway.

None of this explains why Lisa tried to kill her.

I got a good way to find out.

Let's go ask her.

Another drink, Mrs. Bannon?

Yes, Dave, please.

The caddy master said you wanted to see me. Oh, Steve.

Steve, I love you very much.

You called me from work to tell me that?

Sometimes... Sometimes... When a person loves someone...

They do things that are not real.

Wait.

What's wrong?

Please go back to work.

Mom, do you mind telling me what's the matter?

Steve,

please go back to work now.

You know about Steve.

They figured it out.

That still doesn't tell me why you tried to murder me.

Doesn't it?

The way the law is structured, with you gone, Steve

becomes the sole legitimate heir.

Alan married you, Sherry.

I was the mother of his child.

You should have told me.

I didn't have to.

When he was alive, Alan sent me money for Stephen.

With Alan dead, and you inheriting his fortune, I

couldn't let that happen to Stephen, don't you see?

No, I don't see.

And how did you think you'd ever get away with it?

I don't think she really wanted to.

Lisa, you started off buying probaxamine. That can be traced to you.

So then you go for a phony suicide, only your intended victim is going to be

bruised from where you clobbered her.

And I'll bet you left fingerprints all over the house and all over the car.

And why would you ever talk to us?

It's like the firebug hangs around to watch the fire.

Part of you wanted to get caught.

Talk about your supreme irony.

Lisa tries twice to kill Sherry so that Steve can inherit an estate that's

totally worthless.

What'll happen to Lisa?

Well, it's...

Obvious she's a pretty disturbed lady. I think courts will try to help her

rather than punish her.

You know, I'm not really angry at her at all.

I feel sorry for her.

If you tell that to the court, it'll help her even more.

Which reminds me, I have something here for you guys.

No, you don't. Forget it. You know you don't have any money? You cannot afford

to pay us.

The fee? Of course I can afford your fee.

Plus a fat bonus, which you deserve.

No, no. Maybe Steve can use something, but not us.

I've already taken care of Steve.

I'm arranging a $25 ,000 trust fund. Say what?

Where's all this money coming from? We know Alan died broke.

Well, when I called the insurance company and told them that we thought

Alan's death might be a suicide, they said that I was eligible for a refund of

all the money that Alan paid in premiums. It came to over $75 ,000.

Hello, that's wonderful.

But you still can't pay us. That's it.

Oh, hey.

Hey, thanks, you guys.

You can hug us. Everything.

Can't pay us, though.

And if you're ever in the mood for one of my patented margaritas, you know

to find it.

Let's go for a walk -up.

That little brother is what they call a lady.

Hiya, Vlad.

What was that about? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't give me that.

What did you do?

Nothing, I just, uh... Bought you a little insurance policy, that's all.

Okay,

Rick.

Drop the other shoe.

Well, last night about 8 o 'clock I engaged our friend Romaine in there in a

little tournament of my own.

Shooters, 20 paces.

You believe that poor man had never tasted tequila in his whole life? You

about your underdeveloped nation. Hold it. Just hold it.

Do you mean to tell me that the night before the match, you got my opponent

drunk? Yeah.

What made you think I couldn't compete on still alone?

I've seen you play.

Come on, little brother, show a little gratitude.

Gratitude? Gratitude. For what?

You think it's easy trying to out -drink a deprived Hungarian?

That son of a gun can drink. He's got a stomach.