Original subtitles

[trolley wheels squeaking]

- Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! - Hmm.

[mutters]

Well, if you're not paying attention, we're having...

- chocolate donuts for dinner. - Sounds good.

Ah, don't distract her, Candace.

She was up all night trying to finish this book for her book club.

But if we're having donuts, let's get the glazed ones too. Ha!

Linda Flynn-Fletcher!

- Samantha Sweetwater! And hello, Adyson. - Hi!

Samantha, I know our book club meets tomorrow, but...

The Lengthiest and Most Thorough Adventures of Lord Ramblington

is really long, and I don't think I can finish it.

Oh, there's always a way, Linda. Take me for instance.

I just love to sit outside on my reading hammock and get lost in the pages.

You just need to focus. The book is down here.

- I feel terrible saying this-- - Do it!

But I've always suspected Samantha doesn't read the books

- even though she says she does. - Ooh! Spill the tea, Mom,

Look! The Lengthiest and Most Thorough Adventures of Lord Ramblington

- has been made into a movie. - And it opens tomorrow.

[gasps] I bet Sweetwater will go see it, and say she read the book.

And if you do something like triangulate her movements against the movie schedule,

you could bust her no prob.

[laughs] It's all so ridiculous.

Who cares if Samantha read the book or not?

Looks like you have 16 items in the "15 items or less" lane, Linda.

Yeah. What are you trying to pull, lady? Get out of here.

Ooh! Busted.

I will do whatever you say.

Okay, Mom. Before I take you through my six-step plan

to using this model of our neighborhood,

I'd like to go over some pre-busting basics.

Honey, normally I'd prefer you put this energy into something more... productive,

but today, I'm excited to spend the whole day with you!

The whole day doing exactly what I say!

Okay, to get you into the mindset, sometimes I get what I call

- a "busting tingle"... - [phone chiming]

...the feeling that the, uh, bust is a-brewing.

Phones down! I need you to take this seriously, Mother.

Raise your hand. You're gonna take the Busting Oath.

- Oh, Candace. - "I do solemnly swear..." Come on, Mom!

- "I do solemnly swear..." - [beeping]

Did you hear that? It sounds like someone's building something, like, in our yard.

[groans] There are too many distractions around here!

Let's just get out in the field.

- Here, take this big bag of busting basics. - "Busting basics"?

You know, you know. Disguises, lip balm, sledgehammer.

Let's go. Go, go, go, go, go, go!

[engine starts]

Okay, so as I was about to explain-- Seatbelts, Mom!

Oh! Right.

- Step one is intel. - [checklist dings]

Like, does Mrs. Sweetwater's book look as if it's been read?

- We're heading to her house now. - [phone chimes]

No phones! Do what I say!

Now, I happen to know that Adyson has an archery lesson at noon,

and Mrs. Sweetwater will drive her there.

And how do you know that?

On Thursdays, I have archery lessons. At noon!

- My mom drives me. - Cool story, Adyson.

Mrs. Sweetwater should have left her house by 11:45, so the coast will be clear.

[Linda] What is that on the road? Guacamole? That's something you don't--

[Candace] Focus, Mom!

[laughs maniacally]

[guacamole splatters]

[plane engine whirring]

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz cackles]

[continues cackling]

[splatters]

[laughs maniacally]

[tires screech]

- Is this guacamole? - Make use of your surroundings. Keep up, Mom!

Okay, Sweetwater let us know she likes to read outside and... Bingo!

- There's the book. - [phone chimes]

- [groans] You and your phone! I'm turning this thing off. - [beeps]

- Here. You look through these and tell me what you see. - I don't-- Ooh!

That's better. Very interesting.

- [gasps] What's the intel? - Samantha's roses are coming in so nicely.

[Candace] No, Mom, the book!

[Linda] Okay. Hmm. [gasps]

The book's spine is barely cracked,

- and the bookmark is only a few pages in. - Yes!

So, we know she hasn't read it!

- What? - That's pretty impressive, honey.

- What do you mean? - You've really developed some skills.

Thanks! I've had a lot of practice.

Candace? Candace's mom? Is that you?

What are you guys doing down there?

[groans] Irving, keep quiet!

Wait! That treehouse could be a good vantage point for my step two.

- Irving, you're on the team. - [gasps] Finally!

Mom, climb up.

Is this really what you go through every day? It's a little intense.

Welcome to my world.

Hey!

[Irving] What a coincidence.

I was just perusing my scrapbook of every invention your--

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's great, Irving.

Oh! Look at that giant balloon dancey-guy thing. That is really something.

It's got to be 500 feet tall! I wonder--

Mom! Pay attention.

Raise your arm.

- Step two... [grunts] infiltrate. - [checklist dings]

Whoa!

- Now what? - Step three: investigate!

- [checklist dings] - Just scope the perimeter to find clues!

This is probably illegal. Those roses really do look good-- [gasps]

Artificial? No. One bust at a time, Linda.

What? Sweetwater's back?

What about Adyson's archery lesson?

- Rescheduled. - How do you know that?

- My Thursday archery lesson got rescheduled. - Cool story, Adyson!

Let's reel her back in!

Oh, biscuits! What do I do now?

- Step four: improvise! - [checklist dings]

♪ Mom's stuck on a zipline! ♪

♪ And the line is slackin' She got no momentum ♪

- ♪ Got to reel her back in ♪ - ♪ Could've planned this better if we had the time ♪

♪ Now it's somewhere all together 'cause she's stuck on a zipline ♪

♪ Guess I had Samantha's schedule wrong ♪

♪ Overestimated how long she'd be gone ♪

♪ Now, Linda's hanging in the wind for all to see ♪

- ♪ Let's hear it for Candace Flynn ♪ - ♪ I'm glad it's not me ♪

[chorus] ♪ Awkward! ♪

♪ 'Cause Mom's stuck on a zipline ♪

♪ Her time's about to expire ♪

♪ Better pound those branches and wiggle that wire ♪

♪ And if she's not spotted it'll turn out fine ♪

♪ But now the rope's getting knotted, Mom's stuck on a zipline ♪

♪ She just wanted to ♪

♪ Look at her book But had a shady motivation ♪

♪ Someone get a hook She's in a tricky situation ♪

♪ Samantha's at the window About to raise the blinds ♪

♪ Just swing her to the left She can hide behind ♪

♪ That improbable topiary elephant shrub ♪

♪ Now you've gotta stay quiet 'cause the whole book club ♪

♪ Will find it pretty funny if she's found like this ♪

♪ This whole circumstance is truly ludicrous ♪

♪ If you climb out there, you'll end up in a bind ♪

- ♪ Whoa! ♪ - ♪ What'd I tell you?

♪ Now you're stuck on a zipline ♪

Um, I'm not sure that rope will hold your combined...

- [Linda screams, grunts] - [Candace grunts]

...body weights.

Run!

I got a clue!

As I was careening past her window,

I saw Samantha checking movie schedules on her phone!

You did what I said and got a step three clue!

- Mom, are you getting the busting tingle? - [Irving shrieks, grunts] Ow.

Well, something's tingling. But I think it's this holly bush.

What's next, team?

- Step five is initiate the bust! - [checklist dings]

If Mrs. Sweetwater heads to the movie theater, we're golden!

[door creaks open, closes]

[gasps] Smuggling in her own candy!

Who is this woman?

She must be catching the matinee at the Danville Five.

We're so close! Let's go.

[squirting]

[alarm blaring]

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz screaming]

Ah, man, if only I had some huge, colorful, visual marketing gimmick

to call attention to my car lot,

maybe I wouldn't be going out of business.

- Hey, look at that dancing tooth guy! - [clamoring]

It makes me wanna buy a car!

You guys are lifesavers.

Oh, there's that dancey-guy thing again. Look at the size of it!

Eyes on the prize, Mom.

Suit up!

Honey, I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

it's busting time!

I like your enthusiasm, but you've got to keep your head in the game.

- Sometimes things can go-- - Come on, come on, come on.

Okay, okay. Geez, am I like this?

- [plane engine whirring] - [Dr. Doofenshmirtz screaming]

- [tires screech] - [coughs]

[grunts]

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Thanks, my business is saved.

All I had to promote this thing was a bunch of dry chips.

Somebody bought all the guacamole in town!

[splatters]

[splattering]

Ah, man, I love chips and guac.

That makes me wanna buy another car!

Oh, there you are, Perry.

- [splatters] - [purrs]

[whispering] Stay down. Stay down. It's the element of surprise.

I said this before. I'll say it again.

- Ready, Mom? [gasps] This is the big moment. - I'm ready.

[giggles]

...I think about you every day. I awake

- to the thought of you on my pillow, which fill... - [Linda squirms]

- ...both my hours and my dreams. - Hit the lights, Irving!

- [Samantha] Linda! - Huh?

- You're here! - You made it!

- Hi. - Hi!

Hi, Linda. Just in time.

I saved you a seat.

I don't understand. The whole book club is here?

Yes! Didn't you get our group text?

None of us could finish the book, so we thought,

"What the heck? Let's go see the movie instead."

Group text? [gasps]

Oh, no. My phone.

[phone chiming, beeping]

But-- But-- But-- But-- But-- But--

Wait, if you didn't get our texts, Linda, did you come here to cheat?

You are so busted!

Yeah. I deserve that.

And why are you wearing mustaches?

[gasps] Are you dressed as Lord Ramblington?

Yes. Yes, I was.

Thanks for a wonderful day, hon.

You know, you really impressed me.

Does that mean tomorrow we can bust the boys, together?

Oh, honey, shh. The movie is starting.

- [sighs] Step six: inevitable failure. - [checklist dings]

[man on screen] We are worth fighting for. Together we can be in love.

Wow, they weren't kidding. This dude really does ramble.

[whispering] I bet the book is better.

Oh, Irving. You know I never read the books.

Huh. How would I know that?

- I never read the books. - Ooh, cool story, Adyson's Mom.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

No, no, no!

- [grumbling] I'm Candace. - [groans]

[grumbling] Jeremy, where'd you go? I'm Candace.