Original subtitles

[Lively Music]

- The flowers go south of the altar,

not whatever you're doing. - Oh, okay.

[Sighs]

- Can we please make sure we're referencing the wedding schematics.

- Should I have created a wedding simic?

- Schematic, no, no. That's why you have me.

However I am glad that you came a few days early,

so that we can make sure everything is to your liking.

- I love it. What do you think, mother?

- Yes, absolutely beautiful, but um,

did I miss the wine tasting?

- Mom, it's not even noon yet.

- But it's noon somewhere, darling.

- We've worked extremely hard

to make this day special for us.

I mean, you.

- Right. [Chuckling]

Good, I mean I bought more dresses just in case

there's a windstorm, earthquake, weird things falling out of the sky

for some random, unexpected-- - Panic attacks are expected.

Trust me, I know.

I've got you covered.

And I have your dress fitting penciled in.

Oh, we have here, let's see...

Oh my God, that is disgusting!

Get that off the menu immediately.

I will not have anything ruin this special day for,

uh, m-- us, uh you.

Your wedding, your wedding. [Low Mumbling]

My friend Sophia would eat it.

- Girl, you don't have a friend named Sophia.

- Who are you, the friend patrol?

I'll take these, thank you.

Popcorn head.

- Did she just-- - I blame the manufacturer, you.

- You know little girls and their imaginary friends.

[Giggling]

- I don't.

[Rhythmic Beats]

[Alfonso] You don't know 'bout that here son.

- Alfonso, did you hear me calling you babe?

- Oh no, sorry baby. - I need your help.

- Oh Lord, the girl is having a crisis.

This happens every time somebody gets married.

Every time!

- Mama, what are you wearing? - A straight jacket.

- No. It's my wedding dress, thank you.

And after 19 years, it still fits.

- Girl, you look like a breakfast burrito.

[Laughing]

- Don't listen to her baby.

- Nice and snug. - Thank you.

-Show 'em what you working with. - Oo, oo not too fast.

It might stretch it a bit.

- You mean rip it?

[Mock Laughing] Okay, I admit it.

It might need a few alterations, but I mean a few.

[Giggling] [Mock Giggling]

- Who you tryna convince?

You, or that last button right there hanging on for dear life.

[Wheezing and Coughing]

Look, y'all just call me

when it starts to cut off her circulation,

'cause I can post that on the Youtube.

- Ah-ah. [Silent Threatening]

- It'll button, watch.

I just need to detox, and stop eating Lucille's cooking,

and it will fit like a glove.

[Lucille] Second sign of a crisis, hallucination.

[Laughing] - It is not a crisis.

- Okay, okay, okay baby, then what is it?

- I want to renew our vows.

- Why? The first script was Oscar award- winning.

Why you wanna rewrite?

- Okay, Alfonso, our wedding anniversary is in two months.

Our 20th. That's a big deal,

and I feel like we owe it to ourselves to recreate that special moment.

- Baby, look here,

I ain't going nowhere. You ain't going nowhere.

Period, the end, okay?

We can use that money on nothing at all.

First wedding was beautiful.

- We got married in a cubicle.

- Okay, a very nice cubicle.

And that man sacrificed his lunch for us.

That is favor for me, that's favor.

- I want my princess moment.

- Baby, you too old to be a princess.

Oh that, that came out wrong. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry baby.

You just, you just aged.

- I mean, no, I mean-- - Yeah, okay.

- I meant, you matured. - No.

- No, you just seasoned. Seasoned.

- Yeah, yeah, no, get away. Matter of fact, far far away.

- Come on baby, let me help you. - Ouch.

- No, don't touch my train. - You got it? - I got it.

- I'm good. - [singing] Come on, ride that train.

- Ride it. - Don't do that.

[Lucille] According to this schedule,

we were to have started rehearsal 37 minutes ago.

- I know auntie, but we are still waiting on the groom

and his line to arrive, so...

- Y'all better get on schedule, now.

- Oh, there they are. - I got this auntie.

Jeremiah Avery Harris,

boy I ain't seen you since Cross Colors and Gumby.

Boy, haha.

You still out here stealing people's lunch money man?

- Nah. I'm just to see that head finally caught up with them elephant ears.

[Yells] - Elephant ears, boy,

still out here cracking jokes like a high yellow Wayne Brady.

Okay, boy, come in here man.

- I said my frat brothers...

[All Men] My brothers, my brothers, my brothers.

- Hey, if it isn't the George Harris.

- In the flesh, brother.

- Man, you look good.

- You look good. - Tell me something I don't know, man.

You do too man, listen, it's great to see this family business

thriving like this man.

Back in the day we used to throw some crazy parties in here.

- Oh, we did, we did.

Now, how's Texas treating you?

I'm surprised they hadn't ran you back to the Windy City. - Man listen,

only thing running me back to the Chi is tornadoes,

[quietly] and some snow bunnies, you hear me?

- There you go, ain't nothing ashamed of.

- Boy...

the memory, it's the memory for me Jeremiah.

You know, [singing] birthday sex.

Birthday, okay!

Never thought in a million years I'd see a day.

You used to have 'em lined up around the block boy.

You had a girl every day of the week.

- Except Sunday. That's the Lord's day.

To be honest, I would've never thought it either but,

Camille changed all that.

She even got me excited about having kids.

- Ain't that right baby? - Yeah.

Something like that.

- Something! Baby, baby, you gotta hear them.

They sound just like us when we was coming...

See, don't take advice from me,

'cause you know, you see, we still figuring it out, 19 years later.

Still working on it.

- Gentlemen, now that you've reunited,

let's go ahead and get started with rehearsal

because we were supposed to start 37 minutes ago.

- So, um... - Anything I can help you with?

- Do you want to put that over there for me?

- Don't look like you can advise me in that area either.

- No, no, no, see, see that exchange right there bruh?

That's just marriage man, you finna' learn.

- And what part of marriage is that?

- Uh, the doghouse.

- I got you some stuff.

[Zipper Ripping] Here.

I got things for you.

I would've gotten you more of my clothes, but,

I ran out of things I was willing to sacrifice.

- Thanks Jordan, these are perfect.

- I got you this too. It's my favorite.

[Zipper Ripping]

- Mm.

- I know, I know, I got good taste.

[Alfonso] Just talk to me baby!

- Go, go.

- Give us a minute baby.

Uh, baby. Baby...

A little spin move, huh? I see what you doing.

I said, I'm sorry. [Sighs]

- You know what Alfonso,

until you realize this is not about money,

we don't have anything to talk about.

- What's not about money? Come on.

- Trouble in, in paradise.

- Sound like a one-way ticket to the couch.

- No, that's just Kimberly in here stomping around like she Olivia Hope,

hoping we can renew our wedding vows.

- Wedding fever, huh? Happens all the time.

- Son, you ain't gon' win that argument.

- I'm not trying to pop. I just don't see the point in spending money

on something we already paid for.

- Wait a minute, didn't y'all get married n a storage closet?

- It was a cubicle Uncle George!

And a very nice one I might add, sir.

- Boy you lucky she gave you 20 years and two kids

instead of a black eye and a bill for wasting her time.

[Henry] I mean seriously, you need to let your wife know

that money is not as important as she is.

- Pop, you know I don't think that.

- Aye, aye, aye, we ain't the ones to convince of that.

[Mellow Music]

- Oo, those are so pretty, are they for me?

- Ah, ah, no, they for your sorry ah,

apologetic husband.

- I bet they are. - It says,

"I know these can't begin to explain

"how sorry I am, but I hope it's a start.

"I love you so much, Alfonso."

- You done memorized the card?

- No, I just know how dumb Alfonso sounds tryna make up.

- Well, it's gon' take a lot more than some flowers

that he probably got on sale.

- Mm, he knew you'd say that too.

[Door Slams]

[Clears Throat]

[Aaliyah] Oh my God, Camille what are you doing?

You should be dressed. I mean your wedding starts in less than an hour.

- I know, I know, but I still can't decide on a dress

for myself or my bridesmaids.

I narrowed it down to two but, maybe this is a sign.

- Oh, no, no, no. - No, no, not a sign.

These are pre-wedding jitters.

I had those, so you're fine, you just need to get dressed.

So I got you, come on. Let's go girls.

- Yes, I do. I'ma go be praying

for Jeremiah, 'cause girl you are special.

Now, come on ladies. Oh I love all this natural hair.

[Distant Chatter]

[Door Shuts]

- So I see you uh, got the gift.

- Yep, I got them.

- Knew I was doing too much.

Baby look, I'm just trying to show you

how truly, for real, sorry I am.

- Excuse me, hi. - Oh.

- I'm looking for Jeremiah Harris?

- Oh, he's not available right now.

Are you here for the wedding?

- Oh honey, I'm here for my man.

I'm the bride.

- Jeremiah has another woman claiming to be his bride.

- What? - What?

- I knew he was too damn fine not to have secrets.

- It's always the cute ones. - Oh the ugly ones got secrets too, honey.

- What? - Alfonso said he's gonna handle it,

so I'm gonna guard the door.

We cannot afford for anything to go wrong today.

- Whoa! - I can't find her.

- What? You lost her? - Well she's fast!

- You see what happens when you and your zoo friends get loose?

You wreak havoc.

- That's your breath.

- Alright now, everybody calm down.

We have got to find this girl,

or else we gonna all end up in a special edition of "Dish Nation."

- Okay, but we don't even know what she looks like.

- Yes we do. A home wrecker.

- Okay, let's take a look, take a look.

Have your moment, now turn around.

- Ladies and gentlemen, please smile

but not too hard.

- Oh my God. - Whoa, baby.

No, no, no, you smile with your eyes.

- Please stay on beat and do not wave at the guests.

This is not a pageant or a second chance at your failed hometown prom.

- Okay? Let's do it. - Okay, it's time.

[Clears Throat]

- Camille, I need to speak with you.

- Something's wrong isn't it?

I knew something was wrong.

Everything just felt so fast and so off.

I just feel like I'm making a mistake.

Were you nervous at your wedding?

- Was I? Oh, absolutely.

Girl I was so nervous, I had rolls of paper towels stuffed under my armpits.

You know, but I knew I wanted nothing more than to spend

the rest of my life with Alfonso.

You know it didn't matter where we were or who was there.

All that mattered was how I felt when he looked back at me.

- And how did you feel?

- Complete.

You know Camille, marriage starts with a feeling,

but it continues with love, patience, sacrifice.

Now if you can see that with Jeremiah,

then nothing else matters. - Thank you.

By any chance, do you have the paper towels

so I can uh, fix these? - Whew, child.

Okay, let's find something.

Um, it's okay.

- Jordan. - Oh, who me?

- Oo, who, who, how?

Last time I checked, your mother and I named you Jordan.

- I know, but there's just so many Jordans in the world

like Micheal Jordan, Jordan Sparks, Jordan Hills. Come on dad.

It's getting creepy.

- Okay, I'm gonna ask you one more time,

what are you doing?

- I'm trying to help my friend.

Uh, um, so this is,

a real friend as in we can see her,

or just, just in your imagination?

- She's real dad and she's homeless.

- Homeless? - Uh-huh.

- Did you find her? Because she can't ruin this wedding.

Hey baby.

What, what's going on here?

- Apparently Jordan has a friend that's homeless,

and she's helping her.

- Oh, like, as in a real friend

as in we can see her or is this in your imagination?

- I think she's real.

- Oh, well, why didn't you tell us?

- She made me pinky promise not to.

- How do you know her?

- I saw her out back looking through our garbage for food.

- Okay baby, I think it's wonderful

that you're helping someone in need but,

mommy and daddy want you to tell us when you see something like this.

- We just wanna make sure you're safe baby.

You know, and the person you're helping.

- Mhm. - Where is she?

It better be somebody real Walking through that door.

I don't know. 50/50, but yeah, 50/50.

No--Whoa.

- This is Sophia, Sophia, these are my parents.

- She's real.

- Hi Sophia, hi sweetie, I'm Kimberly.

- And this is my husband, Alfonso. - Hey.

- We're gonna get you the help that you need, okay?

- How long you been feeding that girl? She don't look hungry.

- Wow. Couple more. - Oh.

- It's a team.

- Don't look at me, I don't know them.

I only had one mouth to feed.

- Okay, okay.

- Lo siento mucho.

- I didn't know Sophia was doing this. - No te preocupes.

- Not, it's okay. Please don't apologize.

She's done nothing wrong.

- Oh no, no, no. Me llamo Alfonso.

[Introduces Kimberly and Jordan in Spanish]

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

Ah, come on, this way. Ven aqui, ven aqui.

Rapido, rapido, rapido!

- I didn't find her. - That's okay.

[Light Wedding Music]

- You're doing great.

- Welcome ladies and gentlemen.

We're gathered here today

to join Jeremiah Avery Harris

and Camille Nicole Taylor

in holy matrimony.

- Don't forget about Hazel Laverne Monroe.

[Everyone Gasps] - [Mia] Laverne?

- Uh, who the hell is she?

- His fiancee. - No, ex-fiancee.

- And when were you gonna tell me Jeremiah?

You just left the house with no explanation, no nothing!

And then I find out four years later you're getting married?

- Okay, relax Megan Hood.

Why didn't I know about her?

- Because I wanted my past to stay the past,

and to stay focused on who I'm becoming with you.

There's nothing between me and her anymore.

Or anyone for that matter.

I love you Camille.

- I love you too.

But, maybe we should wait to get married.

[Alfonso] I think that's wise. [Cackling]

- Just to give us time to think about us.

And then when we both get that feeling,

we'll know the time is right.

- That's a great idea.

Whatever it takes to spend the rest of my life with you.

- Mm-mm.

What about us?

[Alfonso] Somebody go over there. - Uh, hold on, hold on.

Babygirl, somebody see her to the door before I show her my foot, come on.

- Come on this way. - You ain't gotta do nothing,

I can get there myself.

[Incoherent]

You know they're still the same right?

- Let's go, thank you.

[Guest] I know somebody better be getting married today.

I spent way too much money on this suit.

Yeah, tags was popped.

And I played extra for that fish so, come on.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, how ya' doing? Pardon me.

Hey well, look at you.

Loved you in uh... [Mumbling]

- Okay. - What are you doing?

- Kimberly...

Twenty years ago I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me.

And here in front of uh,

all of these beautiful people I'm gonna ask you again.

Kimberly...

Everything I lack, you are.

Everything I can't, you can.

I'm so sorry,

for not expressing that enough.

So...

[Gasps]

Kimberly Ann Williams,

baby will you marry me, again?

- Yes! Yes she will! Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Go head, go head.

- Absolutely Alfonso.

[Applause]

- You mean now? - Carpe diem.

Okay, seize the day.

- Right here, right now. - This is not our day, this is not our wedding.

- It is now.

We would be honored for you two to take our place.

[Stuttering] I don't even have a dress.

- Girl, don't worry, I have plenty.

- Come on we'll give you a hand. - It's your wedding day, let's go get ready!

[Applause]

- Thank you, thank you.

So what we're gonna do here, we're gonna have a brief intermission.

I'm gonna go grab me a tie and one of them little nice things you put right there.

And we will be right back after these messages, okay.

Y'all sit tight now, we up.

[Aaliyah singing] ♪ I was busy

♪ Wasting all of my time

♪ Trying to navigate

♪ The single life

♪ Then you came ♪ Then you came

♪ And my whole world has just not

♪ Been the same ♪ Been the same

♪ New

[Mia singing] ♪ Then you showed me there's a better way

♪ You turned my cloudy skies

♪ Into brighter days

♪ Now I see ♪ Now I see

♪ There could be

♪ You and me

- Just lovely ladies.

Very lovely.

Before I get started,

does anyone, other than Kimberly,

believe that they should marry Alfonso?

- [quietly] Better not.

- Okay good.

Alfonso...

- Kimberly Williams, I vow

to support, love,

protect-- - Until death do us part.

- Until death do us part, I do.

[Awing and Applause]

[Cheering]

[Lucille] The Williams! The Williams!

- Does this mean that you forgive me Queen Williams?

- Hm, what do you think King Williams?

- I don't know, let me see. Oh, bring it in.

Oh!

- Guess what? - What?

- We booked another wedding.

- Say what?

Excuse me.

Our brothers are A Psi Nu!

[Brothers] My brothers, my brothers, my brothers!

- Here we go, and five, six, seven, let's roll it out.

Uh, and roll it out, and roll it out.

[Cheering]

What are you doing brother Botcher?

What are you do-- Get off, get off here.

- I said my sorors!

[Sisters] Yeah!

- Here we go! - Okay girls!

[Crowd Cheering]

- Go get 'em!

- Go auntie!

[Cheering]

- I love you.