Original subtitles

- (singing) Good morning!

- I'm ready for school, Mommy. - Aw, you look adorable.

Remember to pay attention today.

Knowledge is power. - Power.

- "Power", hey, that's my show.

Don't let me catch that Ghost out in these streets.

He'll be your next uncle!

- Mm-mm, no thanks, Auntie.

We got enough ghost uncles.

[Scoffs]

Go sit down.

- Here you go, Auntie.

Thank you so much for taking them to school,

I just wish we weren't rushing.

- Oh, not a problem at all.

Good morning, family!

What in the Elton Wrong is going on with that outfit there, son?

You know, I just can't get over all these ripped-up pants.

Like, do you know how long it took your enslaved ancestors

to pick that cotton?

The only slave that was involved in the making of this outfit was moi .

I turned this clearing rack disaster-piece

into a m-m-masterpiece.

- It looks like a m-m-mess to me!

Mommy, I'm hungry.

- Here you go, sweetie.

Kisses. Mwah, mwah! Take your jacket. All right, let's go.

- That ain't right. - All right, let's go, come on!

Can we have some money for lunch, Auntie?

What she said.

Oh!

Uh-huh, I got y'all's little game.

Send Jordan to ask for the money 'cause she's the little cute one!

(laughs) Listen, the next time we're gonna ask for lunch money,

it's gonna be before your parents leave, okay?

- Fair. - All right,

I might have a little something in here for you.

Let's see.

Oh! I've been looking for that.

Let's see, I know I got something somewhere in here.

Oh, that's my menopause friend!

Let's try this side.

Oh, here it is.

Ha! There we go.

Some for you, and some...

You know, I still can't believe that these dollars

still don't have a Black face on 'em.

You know who they need to put on there?

Mary Ellen Pleasant.

- Who's Mary Ellen Pleasant? - Say what?!

[She Laughs]

Mary Ellen Pleasant was only the original Black business mogul.

What's wrong with y'all? You don't have history class?

- Yeah, we do. I can tell you everything about 16th century England.

Bloody Mary was a (sings) hot mess!

- Oh, no, no. Now, colonizer history don't count.

I'm talking about our people, okay?

People like... Frederick Douglass!

Uh, Angela Davis!

Who's that?

- Lord, have mercy.

Babies, please tell me you know

who Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is.

- Oh yeah, of course, I know that one!

- Oh, thank you, Jesus!

Go on, what he do?

- Um, he was doctor. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Who had a... strange dream.

Or something. - "Or something"?

- Can we go now?

- Oh, hell no! Sit in that seat!

Y'all are not going to school today.

In fact, welcome to Heritage Academy!

The home school for Black excellence, ha-ha!

Now, get ready to learn something!

But what about our friends?

What about your friends?!

You better sit in that seat and shut your mouths,

and get ready to learn, 'cause you gonna learn

some Black history today before you become Black history!

I'ma go set it up right now in the living room.

Y'all gonna learn something about your people today!

[**]

Henry! We're here!

Oh, Henry! What's the emergency, Pop?

[He Coughs] - Say that again, Wheezy.

- (coughs) The building is up for county inspection today.

- Pop, that's impossible.

They can't schedule an inspection without sending us a notice.

Oh, but they did, son.l

I found the notice in the garbage. [He Coughs]

Who threw this in the trash?

[Door Opens] Do you really have to ask?

- Knew I should've went with Aaliyah to the reboot of Freaknik.

Oh, why am I here so early?

- 'Cause we're being inspected!

Well, I was in a dream

with Usher singing "Nice & Slow" in my face

licking down my baby hair!

- Hm, well I want you to say this nice and slow.

Why did you throw this in the trash?

I thought it was junk mail!

- You thought it was junk mail? - I mean, with Kimberly working here now,

she be moving everything around messing up all of my systems.

- Uh? Well, your slacker system of clutter

was in desperate need of reform.

Excuse me for being organized and detail oriented.

- You're excused. - Uh, uh, uh, excuse you?

- Excuse you! - No, excuse this!

- No, excuse you-- - Enough!

- No, no, no, steer clear of this, son.

I know all about this.

Save yourself a trip to the emergency room.

- Okay, look, look, it doesn't matter whose fault this was.

We have to fix this together right now!

- Amen, now that's true.

Look, I already cleaned the vents.

- We could tell. - You three can handle the rest.

I gotta go see a man about a dog.

[Kimberly] Okay, can we focus?

Well, it's not gonna take us too much time to get this place up to code, is it?

No, no, I don't think so.

I mean, we keep the place in pretty nice shape.

Oh, no, we definitely need to spruce this place up.

You're right, baby.

Let's get to sprucing, let's get to sprucing.

* Gotta spruce it on up

Oh, top shoulder...

- Oh, I...who's here, Satan?! - Ooh!

[Bird Screeches] - In the name of--

[Alfonso] Whoa! That's a raven! [Mia] Oh, no!

- Okay...

Oh we, we can fix that.

We got time-- - Good morning!

I'm Obadiah Jones, and I'm here for the county inspection.

- Guess we still got time, Einstein.

[**]

[Snap Echoes] I'm Black and I'm proud!

- Oh, you're gonna be Black and bruised you fall asleep in my class again!

Now, y'all sit up and listen.

Who is this lady

who is also known as the Queen of Soul?

Queen Latifah!

No! That's Aretha Franklin,

one of the greatest voices ever.

And you will show her some respect.

Now, spell it with me.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

[Both] R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Good!

Now, who was the first Black man

to serve on the Supreme Court?

- Ooh, ooh, I know this one.

Madea! - Ah!

No!

Thurgood Marshall!

- (laughs) What kind of name is that?

Sounds like it's from the Upside Down!

Oh, you gonna be upside down in a minute!

It's an iconic name,

and I suggest you not forget it.

[AJ] Mm-hmm!

Now, Jordan, who was the first female self-made millionaire?

That's easy.

Oprah! [Lucille Yells]

You get a million, you get a million, we all get a million!

- I get a billion! [Both Laugh]

(laughs mockingly) Okay!

I see you wanna play games.

Then, we gon' play games!

Auntie, how much longer do I have to keep doing this for?

Until you can recite every word of the Black national anthem.

Well, first of all, nobody knows that.

Second of all, I think this is a hate crime!

[Lucille Scoffs] - My hand is tired!

- Well, baby, that's why God gave you two hands.

Use the other one. - But I can't!

- Oh, well, you can try.

Because until you start respecting our history,

you will write. And both of y'all better pay attention

to that Xernona Clayton documentary

because it will be on the exam.

- But Auntie! - "But Auntie" what?

Auntie nothing, because I got time today, baby!

Plenty of time!

Now, get back to writing because until you learn

to respect our history, you will write.

Oh!

So, uh, how long have you been an inspector?

Oh, 30 years now.

- Oh! - I'm really into it.

Uh, I guess you are!

Uh, so what, this must be a passion!

- Oh yeah, ever since I was young,

I've always loved architectural regulation.

You know what, me too!

I loved Legos when I was a kid.

That's kinda like the same-- - Legos, the same thing!

I loved Legos, too, 'til one day I accidentally stepped on one

and my mama heard me use some language I heard from Richard Pryor.

I still got the scars from that whooping.

Whoo! Look, let me show you. It's right here.

- Oh no, that's okay, we good, we good, I don't need to see those scars.

So, yeah. Um, so, uh...

Whoo, uh...

[Kimberly Stammers]

- Oh! What the hell? - You know what, you had some hair in your face

but I got it, I got it, yes you do.

And you are a stud kinda guy, fancy.

Beep, beep, beep!

- These things can't help going off around me!

It happens all the time!

- Beep-beep, who's got the keys to the jeep?

Ha! Okay, I hope everything's up to code.

- You know, actually, everything looks all right.

You know what? This is a nice spot.

Who do I talk to if I want to book the place?

You're talking to him.

It's me, I'm the owner. Take my number down.

- Look, I tell you what, you put it in 'cause I can't even work this thing out.

I'm thinking about getting a Jitterbug.

- A jitter what? - Yeah, Jitterbug, Jitterbug.

Okay, look here.

You run your domino party here.

- You'll hook me up though? - A little semi-friends discount.

- Come on with it! What? - Save you a few dollars.

By a few, I mean a little few. - Come on, player!

- Real small. - Come on, but you know what?

I forgot to do the electrical meter.

Let me just check that out-- - No, no, this way!

Right here, yes. - This way?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bob Isley.

- Why would you throw a dead bird carcass at me?!

Well, I thought you'd know what to do with it, Ms. Detail Oriented!

- Oh, I thought you wanted a bird to add to that nest in your hair!

- Ooh, I know you didn't!

- Oh, yes I did! [Both Bickering]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are y'all arguing about in here?

- Her. - You sound like The Supremes before Diana went solo!

Henry, will you just throw this bird away, please?

Get it out of here!

- I'd-- - Ew!

Ah, take it out...

Catch! [They Scream]

- (tutting) Throw it away, man, come on!

Yeah, well, the meter was up to code.

Now, you do have a couple of things a little out of place but you know what?

I'ma go and sign off anyways.

[All Cheering] - My kind of guy!

- That is great news, Mr. Inspector!

Appreciate you coming by.

Do I know you?

Have we met?

Well, I'm Henry Williams, one of the owners.

- Henry? Henry the musician? - Yeah.

Yes, yeah!

I told y'all I had a couple of fans.

- Ooh! - All right.

But I don't think we've ran into each other before.

No, but I understand you "ran" into my wife.

- Your wife? - Yeah, and you got to know her

a little too well!

You should be ashamed!

I remember it like it was yesterday!

My wife went to your concert.

- What? - Then she went back to your hotel room,

then she gon' come back to the house regrettably satisfied!

[Alfonso] Mm-mm-mm... - Henry, say something!

Well, you know me. Satisfaction guaranteed!

- Not that, not that! - No, no, no, look man, I don't know who you are,

and I definitely don't know your wife.

-See? Right there. - Lies!

And just for that... [Stomps Foot]

..I think I see black mold on the ceiling.

Black mold?

Sir, what kind of Inspector Gadget eyeballs do you have?

Because all I see is lights up there, what you talking about?

I got the kind of eyes that are gonna make me condemn this place!

Wait a minute. [Clipboard Bangs]

Was that a roach?!

Wait a minute. Uh-oh, uh-oh!

I think this foundation is unstable!

Yeah, we canceling this whole thing.

- Uh... - Hold on.

[Kimberly] OK, well let's talk about this...

- Did you, did you sleep with this man's wife?

- No, I did not sleep with that man's wife!

I never cheated on your mother, you know that.

God rest her soul. - All right, good, good.

You sure there ain't no more little Wiliamses running around I should know about?

- Son that was a little while before I got married, all right?

But as far as I know, there's no other kids as far as I know.

- All right, 'cause you can't be a man and admit it,

I'm gonna declare this place... un-occupiable!

- You gotta be kidding me! - Whoa, excuse me, sir, um,

is that really a word and can you spell it?

- No, I made it up, but I still know what it means.

[Kimberly] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

We have a waiver from the city

that gives us 30 days to bring this building up to code.

- She's right, change in ownership.

- Oh, you do? Let me see it.

- It's, it's at home. - I'll be right back.

- Well, you better hurry up.

I ain't got a long time sitting around here waiting with this adulterer!

- That is "Mr. Adulterer" to you, okay?

- Pop, you said you didn't sleep with her. - I didn't sleep with her,

but if this man is gonna stand up here and accuse me,

he better say it with some respect!

- Don't you make me pull out these big ones, I'll...

[**]

Okay, class, in what year was the Civil Rights Act passed?

- [Both] 1964. - Ooh, good!

And how do we like our grits, with sugar or salt and pepper?

[AJ] Salt and pepper! [Jordan] Sugar!

- Eh, oh, tomato, tah-mah-to.

- What's going on here?

Why aren't my kids in school?

- This is school, Mommy! - Yeah, but except here,

the man ain't trying to keep us down!

- Power to the people! - Uh-huh!

I decided to home school them today.

A-And you didn't think to check with me and my husband?

No, I decided to do what was best. Watch this.

Okay, children, listen up.

Which abolitionist is known for the speech "Ain't I a Woman"?

- [Both] Sojourner Truth. - Ha-ha!

And who was the first Black settler in Chicago?

[Both] Jean Baptiste du Sable.

- Yes, yes, children! - Okay, AJ, Jordan,

I need you both to go to your rooms, okay?

Auntie and I need to have a little conversation.

Could I at least get a "please"?

Black people deserve respect in America!

Sweetie, unless you want that blonde knocked out of your head,

I suggest you and your sister promptly go to your room.

- [Both] Yes, ma'am. - Uh-huh.

Keep hope alive, Sister Williams.

Stay strong, Auntie!

That's right, baby, I'm so proud of you!

Lord, have mercy. Thank you, thank you!

Oh-ho-ho!

Lucille, I can't believe you have the audacity

to keep my children home without my permission

ruining their perfect attendance!

Perfect attendance? Are you kidding me?

Come on, now, that fake award?

Kimberly, they're just trying to control you, baby.

Look, the more students they have, the more donations.

Now, you're smart enough to know that.

- OK, you are completely overstepping your boundaries.

Princeton Hope Academy is one of the best private schools in the country.

Hmm. - No.

Princeton Hope Academy hopes your children forget where they came from.

- That would never happen. - Oh, really?

- Mm-hmm. - Then why did AJ think

the bathtub was discovered by Harriet Tubman?

I-I don't know, but the point is--

No, no, no, the point is

that you never even mention Black history in this home,

and then you send 'em off to a place that only dilutes it.

I cannot trust you with AJ or Jordan.

J...

What you did was unforgivable!

- Wow, Kimberly. - Hmm.

Just wow. You know, if this is really the way you feel,

then it's time for me to leave.

- Well, I guess it's time. - Well, then, fine.

- Fine. Fine! - Fine. Fine!

Oh, and I'm gonna take the bread maker.

- Take it. - And I bet you didn't even know

that that was invented by a Black man.

Maybe you should get my class next time!

I ain't getting in nothing!

Looks like y'all time is up!

- But she just left!

- You know, your problem is with me, man.

- Yeah, don't take it out on the place!

- Let me call her and see how far away she--

- Uh-uh, no need!

I've been waiting for years for my sweet revenge.

Ever since you defiled my wife

after your concert at the Chicago Stadium.

Chicago Stadium?

You know what I'm talking about, why you acting like you silly?

You don't know what I'm talking about?

You were the lead singer of The Heartbreakers.

You had all them beautiful sorority girls running around.

You decided that you were gonna go gallivanting with my Betty.

Again, I never played the Chicago Stadium,

and I definitely never sang with The Heartbreakers!

They lip-sync all their songs!

- Yeah, Henry's the real deal.

Does he look like Milli Vanilli to you?

- Just a little bit.

- Obadiah Leslie Jones.

- B-Betty, baby!

- Why are you harassing these people?

- Ooh, uh...

Honey, what you doing here?

- You butt-dialed me,

and when I heard your insecure ass over here making a fool of yourself,

I tracked your location and came right over.

- Well, baby, now that you're here, look who I found.

Henry!

- I don't know this man!

Look, what you need to do is stop stalking the streets of Chicago

harassing every man that you meet named Henry.

Sir, I apologize for interrupting you

and your lovely family.

Obadiah, let's go.

- But Betty-- - B-B-But!

Let's go.

You gonna get enough for embarrassing me.

- Oh, damn!

Gotta spend another month on the couch again?!

- Whoa, whoa, excuse me, but what about the inspection?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

You passed.

- Oh, thank you. - Give these nice people their paperwork and apologize.

- I apologize.

But I meant what I said about that dominoes tournament. I--

- Yeah, and I didn't mean what I said about the discount.

- Got all my business out here in these streets.

That was over 30 years ago, and besides,

we weren't even together when that happened.

(mouthing) Let's go.

- Girl, my business has been dry as an elephant's butt!

[Obadiah Grumbles]

Thank God for Betty!

[**]

Oh, baby, baby! You are the VIP for today.

That was quick thinking with the waiver,

bought us enough time for his wife to come in and then, bop-bop!

He passes us. You're a genius, you're a genius.

Okay, I know that look.

What I do this time?

You didn't do anything, but your aunt on the other hand?

Ha-ha, she's beside herself.

- What, she been sleepwalking naked again?

- No, she kept our kids home from school,

without permission I might add, because they don't teach Black history.

- She's right, they don't.

But she was wrong for not telling you.

Where is she? I'll go talk to her.

Where is she?

- What, oh, she's on Craigslist, trying to find a new place to stay.

- Baby, you kicked her out? Don't you think that's a little harsh?

- Well, she offered to leave.

You want to go with her?

- See, wait a minute.

Slow down there, we are on the same side.

Look, Aunt Lucille used to tutor me,

whooped my ass when I goofed off, but I learned a lot from her.

And I'm sure the kids did, too.

- Okay, that's not the point.

Times have changed, schools have, too.

Plus, we pay for Princeton Hope.

- Yeah, we do, but how do we know what they're learning is best?

Okay, my school, they taught me

Christopher Columbus and the natives were homies.

(scoffs) Look.

All I'm saying is Aunt Lucille will teach free-99.

- See, you just want to be cheap.

- Okay, I identify as financially fluid, okay?

Cheap is a charged word. What do the kids say these days?

(mockingly) "I'm triggered, you're triggering me!"

- They should learn about Black history. - Absolutely.

My dad used to make me watch "Roots", left me with a fear of whips,

respect for my ancestors, and a lifelong crush on Cicely Tyson.

Used to love her.

- I guess Lucille could help them learn.

- Definitely! You know, my aunt don't play.

She's a habitual line-stepper, but you know she always means well.

- So, you think we should let her stay?

- Uh-oh, "we"?

You the one that kicked her off Williams Island,

now you all talking about "we"?

- Well, we are a united front.

- No, that's just the dream y'all be telling us.

We know you run the world.

- Oh, don't try to act like you know our game.

- Baby, after 19 years, I am a student of the game,

which is why I agree.

We should always make big decisions together.

[**]

Hey, Lucille.

Uh, about earlier today...

- Oh, honey, don't worry about it.

I'll be outta your hair soon.

I found a vacant, burned-out old mobile home

down there in the cul-de-sac.

You're not going anywhere, Auntie.

I want you to stay.

Really?

Well, praise the Lord,

'cause I was wondering how long my oxygen tank was gonna last down there!

Kimberly, I need to apologize to you

'cause I'm sorry I kept the kids home from school without asking you first.

- Auntie, look, I may have overreacted a little.

- Uh?

- Okay, a lot.

But I apologized.

And I just got back from our PTA meeting,

and they agreed to set up a Black history committee at the school.

- Oh, just for the month of February?

- Nope, all year round.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Well, look at Sister Williams

out there making some big changes in the community!

Hm!

- Well, I had good inspiration.

- Well, I'm proud of you.

Come here, baby! [She Giggles]

Okay, so you gonna unpack your stuff now?

Honey, I didn't pack a thing!

You see I ain't leave.

I was just waiting for you to come to your senses.

- You know me too well. - I know you all too well!

- I have to ask one question. - Sure.

How did you get AJ and Jordan to say, "Yes, ma'am"?

[Snap Echoes]

It all starts with a good ruler, baby.

It starts with the ruler.

- Yes, ma'am. - Ha-ha!

[**]

Okay, children, you ready?

Let's show Mom and Dad what we got!

One, two, three!

[Fast Rhythm]

Oh, oh!

Look at our children all in touch with their African culture.

- (in accent) They are looking like citizens of Wakanda!

I love to see it.

- Wakanda forever! - Whoo!

[Ululating]