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1
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♪ Oh, Mandy
2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,000
♪ Well, you came and you gave
without taking
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,960
♪ But I sent you away
4
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,120
♪ Oh, Mandy
5
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,640
♪ Well, you kissed me and stopped me
from shaking
6
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,400
♪ And I need you today
7
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,680
♪ Oh, Mandy. ♪
8
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,000
Lucky heather, dear?
Oh, no, no, thanks.
9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,280
Get yourself some good luck.
No, I'm all right.
10
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,560
For the pretty lady on a lovely day.
No, I'm OK.
11
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,800
It's only a pound. No, honestly.
Fuck you, then!
12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,160
You're going to die!
13
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,120
It were dead scary, Lola.
14
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,840
I'm worried she's put
a curse on me or something.
15
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,800
Hey, are you going to stay up
on Friday and watch for the comet?
16
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The what? The comet. An asteroid
17
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,680
It only comes every 76 years.
18
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,320
Oh, who gives a toss?
I never look up, me.
19
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,960
Wouldn't even give it
the satisfaction of craning me neck.
20
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,760
This is the closest to Earth
the comet has ever been.
21
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,080
They say you will be able
to see it with a naked eye.
22
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,640
What the fuck's a naked eye?
Sounds disgusting.
23
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,960
I've been reading all about it.
24
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,160
They say the comet is meant
to be a bad omen.
25
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,320
The last time it came,
we got the Spanish flu.
26
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,680
The time before that, vampires.
27
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,280
Fucking hell, that's all I need.
28
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:37,480
Messa da Requiem -
Dies Irae by Giuseppe Verdi
29
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,080
Oh, my God!
30
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,920
Hello. Oh, God, Lola! Lola!
31
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,000
What is it, Mandy?
32
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,480
I've just got home
and there's a note through the door.
33
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,920
It says, "You know what
I'm here for. The Terminator"
34
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,400
It's from the Terminator!
35
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,920
The Terminator?
Who is the Terminator?
36
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,160
I don't know, but he's not a mobile
hairdresser, is he?
37
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,840
Maybe a hit man or something.
38
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,240
Oh, God, Lola, why didn't I just buy
the heather?
39
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,960
You should always buy the heather,
Mandy!
40
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,000
Just to be on the safe side.
41
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,040
I know. I've been really stupid.
42
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,360
Oh, Lola, can you come over?
43
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,880
I don't think I can face
being here on me own tonight.
44
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,800
No, I don't think I can.
45
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,000
Look, I know I'm late to the party,
but I wanted to binge-watch
46
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,520
King Tiger tonight,
and you don't have Netflix.
47
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,160
But I'm all alone here, Lola.
48
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,120
I'll come and check on you
in the morning.
49
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,840
You need to make a list of people
who might want you dead
50
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,160
and eliminate them one by one.
51
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,600
When you say eliminate,
what do you mean?
52
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,280
Apologise to them.
53
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,880
Oh, right.
I mean, who'd want me dead?
54
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,440
I suppose I told Linda Chaffinch
I didn't like her choppy bob once.
55
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,880
Can't be that, surely.
She can be quite small minded.
56
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,560
Or there was Derek Dribbs.
57
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,400
He asked me out,
but I turned him down.
58
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,920
Nothing personal. He just stank
and had a bit of a wet beard.
59
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,440
And there was Donna Ball.
60
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,000
Let her down in a bank robbery
61
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,160
and now she's doing 15 years
as a result.
62
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,560
What do you think, Lol?
63
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,840
Lol? Lol?!
64
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,880
Hello, is that Derek Dribbs?
65
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,800
Ah... Hiya. It's Mandy,
Mandy Carter.
66
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,480
Yeah. I, um...
67
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,240
I just wanted to apologise
for the way I turned you down
68
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,360
when you asked me out.
69
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,920
Yeah, I know, I know, it was a long
time ago, but I was a bit rude
70
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,960
and I just wanted to apologise.
71
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,560
Yeah, I know, I know. I should have
turned you down to your face.
72
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,760
Yeah, not put an advert
in the local paper.
73
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,720
All right. Yep.
All right, thanks. Bye, bye.
74
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,800
Messa da Requiem -
Dies Irae by Giuseppe Verdi
75
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,000
All right, Lol?
76
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,800
Oh, Mandy, you look terrible.
77
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,560
Been up all night,
apologising to people.
78
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,120
Someone's out to kill me, Lol.
79
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,840
I know.
80
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,080
I thought this article
might help you.
81
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,320
I doubt there's anything that
could help me now, Lol,
82
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,160
unless it's a second chance of life.
83
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,040
That's exactly what it is!
84
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,960
"I had sex with Hitler's ghost"?
85
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,560
No, below that.
"I got Aids from a cardigan"?
86
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,520
No, below that.
"I married my own mum"?
87
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,080
No, below that.
"24 great quiche recipes"?
88
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,280
No, below that.
"My second chance at life"?
89
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,640
Second chance at life, Mandy.
90
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,800
That's what you need.
91
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,840
Cryogenics.
92
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,880
Freezing human life.
93
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,400
I've never heard of cryogenics.
They've kept that quiet.
94
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,080
No-one tells me anything.
95
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,960
Well, it's still in its infancy,
96
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,960
like aromatherapy and ear candling.
97
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,800
They freeze your body when you die
98
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,480
and then in
a few hundred years' time
99
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,360
when they've worked out what to do,
they bring you back to life.
100
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,960
Hm. Amazing.
Yes. It's very expensive, though.
101
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,000
How much? £80,000.
102
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,360
Oh, Lol, why come here and tease me
with something I could never afford?
103
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,760
Well, I still think we should go
and see them.
104
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,920
Maybe you can pay in instalments.
105
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,600
Just the head? You can freeze
just the head?
106
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,800
Yes. It's only £30,000
and you can always decide later
107
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,920
if you want to attach a donor body.
108
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,960
But I've got lovely long legs.
109
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,040
Will my donor have lovely long
legs?
110
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,840
Well, it might be a case of beggars
not being choosers, I'm afraid,
111
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,440
but I can always pop it
in your notes.
112
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,560
Lovely long legs.
113
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,000
And can anything go wrong?
114
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,280
I'll be honest with you, Mandy,
115
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,800
there are a great number
of things that can go wrong,
116
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,640
the main one being pain.
117
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,720
We just don't know how
the human body
118
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,840
can handle being frozen for so long.
119
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,920
There is a possibility
that you could be in great agony.
120
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,960
Could you pop it me notes that
I'd like a couple of Nurofen?
121
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,160
Yes.
122
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,320
Nurofen.
123
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,040
Also, Mandy - and I'm sure
you've already considered this -
124
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,560
but, um...you won't know anybody.
125
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,280
You'll be all alone
in the modern world.
126
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,240
Why don't you get it done?
Then we can be thawed out together.
127
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,600
We do have an offer on
at the moment. BOGOF?
128
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,080
I don't know, Mandy.
129
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,160
I feel like it's tampering
with nature,
130
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,000
like Frankenstein or something.
131
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,440
It's the future.
132
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:53,800
I mean, imagine Einstein or
Isambard Kingdom Brunel being frozen
133
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,800
and having the technology
now to revive them?
134
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,640
Who? Imagine showing them
Google Maps.
135
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,200
Yeah, or a fidget spinner.
136
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,120
Or YouTube.
Yeah. Or Deliveroo.
137
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,560
Would you like some fried chicken
138
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,840
and a Fanta in the next 20 minutes,
man from the past?
139
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,520
Or Amazon. Amazon Prime.
140
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,760
You need a new hole punch,
with Amazon Prime,
141
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,920
you can get it delivered
the very same day.
142
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,800
Mm. They'd wonder with awe
at how far we'd come.
143
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,760
Imagine showing them a plane!
Yeah, they'd shit their pants.
144
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,760
Or TikTok.
145
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,120
Um... If you take those pamphlets
away with you
146
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,840
and let me know what you think.
147
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,240
Uh-huh...
148
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,240
Lola, I've been thinking.
149
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,120
I don't think I will get
cryogenically frozen after all.
150
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,600
It's too expensive.
151
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,200
Oh, look. Kylie's got
a new young, French boyfriend.
152
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,960
I'm going to face me fate
with dignity.
153
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,360
He looks very handsome.
154
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,120
I hope this one doesn't mess her
around
155
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,520
like all her other handsome,
young French boyfriends.
156
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,960
Anyway, I just thought
I'd let you know
157
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,320
I'm going to go home and
have me last meal
158
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,440
before the Terminator comes.
159
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,360
I've had a massive jacket potato
in the oven since Wednesday.
160
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,800
How big is this potato?
It's massive, Lola.
161
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,680
You don't want it to be hard
in the middle.
162
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,200
No, I know. There's nothing worse.
163
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,120
Did you microwave it first? No.
164
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,880
Cos it's been in for a few days,
I thought it'd be fine.
165
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,680
Did you prick it?
No!
166
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,640
I've had a lot on me mind, Lola.
167
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,720
I've had death threats,
I've had ancient curses,
168
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,840
so forgive me if I forgot
to prick me bloody jacket potato!
169
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,520
Messa da Requiem -
Dies Irae by Giuseppe Verdi
170
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,920
You know what I'm here for.
The Terminator.
171
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,920
The Terminator!
172
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,880
Oh, God, just make it quick.
173
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,920
You what? No, I'm a bailiff,
here on behalf of Blockbusters.
174
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,960
Blockbusters?
The video rental company.
175
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,480
You took out a copy
of The Terminator in 1986
176
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,120
and never returned it.
177
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,720
What...? Did I?
178
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,360
Wait here.
179
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,120
Yeah, you're right. I did.
Do you want it back? Yes, please.
180
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,680
Even though this format
is completely obsolete now.
181
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,880
Do I owe you any money or anything?
No.
182
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,160
Now it's been returned,
I'll cancel the fines.
183
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,440
Given that Blockbuster ceased
trading in 2013,
184
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,840
I would think this is the last
you'll be hearing from us.
185
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,120
As long as you rewound it. Yeah.
186
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,360
Bye, then.
187
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,120
Me giant potato!
188
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,800
Messa da Requiem -
Dies Irae by Giuseppe Verdi
189
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,520
- MAN,
- Emergency. Which service do you require?
190
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,960
Oh, thank God, I've been trying
to get through to you for hours.
191
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,640
Do you have anyone who deals
with jacket potatoes?
192
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,840
Is this a wind-up?
193
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,920
No, no.
I think it's going to explode.
194
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,720
That's Fire, then. I can try putting
you through to the fire station,
195
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,960
but I don't think there's anyone
there at the moment.
196
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,960
They're all out looking
for this comet. What's the problem?
197
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,840
I've had a massive jacket potato
in the oven for days
198
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,200
and I...I forgot to prick it.
199
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,880
You forgot to prick it? Yes.
200
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,720
OK, here's what I'm going to need
you to do.
201
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,480
After being watched fly through
the night sky by millions of people
202
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:57,040
across the country, the comet
crashed to Earth here,
203
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,840
in this normal front garden
in Radcliffe.
204
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,800
To think that the comet travelled
literally hundreds of thousands
205
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,920
of light years across the sky
and crashed here
206
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,320
in this ordinary garden is amazing.
207
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,360
As you can see, it's still
smouldering
208
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,480
from the sheer heat inside it.
209
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,600
Hello? Hey, Neil.
210
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,800
Could you put me on to the
owner of the house, please?
211
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,680
Oh, right. It's for you.
212
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,880
You what?
213
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,640
Hello. Is that your garden?
214
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,200
Who's asking?
It's Professor Cox.
215
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,440
Sounds like a porn name.
216
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,000
No, I'm a scientist who's allowed to
speak to normal people
217
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,520
because I've got a northern accent.
218
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,960
But this comet, can I buy it off you
on behalf of the Science Museum
219
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,600
for £20,000?
220
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,960
Make it 30 and
you've got yourself a deal.
221
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:49,520
Deal. You've done a great service
for science in this country.
222
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,880
Thanks.
223
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,840
I'll send a courier around
to pick it up.
224
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,200
Oh, don't bother,
I'll pop it in a Jiffy bag.
225
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,040
There she is.
226
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,720
Come on, waking up now.
227
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,320
Good, good, good, good.
228
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,040
Mandy, we've brought you back
to life.
229
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,520
The year is 3035 and, yeah,
you'll be pleased to hear
230
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,360
that the thawing process
was a complete success.
231
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,120
So, how are you feeling?
232
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,920
I feel fine, actually.
OK, good.
233
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,920
Now, even though we managed
to revive you,
234
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,160
we are still looking for a donor.
235
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,840
A donor? For what?
236
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,400
For your body.
237
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,880
Oh! Fucking hell!
238
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,440
Would you like a Nurofen
or anything?
239
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,520
Yeah, I wouldn't mind, actually.
A couple.
240
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,360
And the naproxen as well,
if you want, just take the edge off.
241
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:04,000
Messa da Requiem -
Dies Irae by Giuseppe Verdi
18788
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